how to know if you are called to be single

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cayosura

Guest
#1
What signs to look for..when someone is called to be single.?? How do we know?
 

djness

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
502
13
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#2
What signs to look for..when someone is called to be single.?? How do we know?
Being 36 and jobless with health issues was a sure sign to me I was going to be single.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
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#4
Was single for 35 years, was it a calling? It was my reality and I was o.k. with it. I have a new calling now and with God in my heart I will be o.k. with this calling too.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,896
8,156
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#5
When you reach the end of your life and you are still single...

No, that was not meant as a joke. Some don't marry until they are elderly. And when they do find that special someone it is just as sweet as when a couple in their twenties meet and love one another.

As Paul said, I have learned in whatever circumstance I find myself to be content. The best way to make yourself unhappy is to focus on what you don't have that you think would make your life better. The best way to make yourself happy is to enjoy what you do have, and if you obtain something which makes your life better enjoy that when you get it.

I might in fact be one of those who will remain single. But then again I might find a wonderful lady and by this time next year be married. I'll find out when it happens. If it doesn't happen I'll find out when I die.
 
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cayosura

Guest
#6
Being 36 and jobless with health issues was a sure sign to me I was going to be single.
Yeah....praying that i can accept the fact...thx for sharing. Sigh...im a mental patient...having to go through releapses every year at least once.
 
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cayosura

Guest
#7
When you reach the end of your life and you are still single...

No, that was not meant as a joke. Some don't marry until they are elderly. And when they do find that special someone it is just as sweet as when a couple in their twenties meet and love one another.

As Paul said, I have learned in whatever circumstance I find myself to be content. The best way to make yourself unhappy is to focus on what you don't have that you think would make your life better. The best way to make yourself happy is to enjoy what you do have, and if you obtain something which makes your life better enjoy that when you get it.

I might in fact be one of those who will remain single. But then again I might find a wonderful lady and by this time next year be married. I'll find out when it happens. If it doesn't happen I'll find out when I die.
So i guess it varies in how ppl percieve it. I wish i could find someone to mentor me in my walk in my spiritual life..so that i dont have to focus on being married or not...

Like paul say...singleness is a gift.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#8
I didn't get a call. I just got a text message that said "Error 407: Husband not found".
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#9
In seriousness, though. :)

Here's the thing:
- I don't think that having the desire to be married means that you will be married someday
- I don't think that those who are "called" to be single will never feel a desire for marriage (meaning just because you are called to be single doesn't mean you won't have passing desires of a companion)
- I don't think being content in being single means you are called to be single. I am fairly content being single right now but I have a desire to be married someday.

Our true "calling" is to glorify Him. Be it being single, in a relationship, as a wife, as a husband, as a welder, as a janitor, as a CEO, as a woman, as a man, etc. (easier said than done, but you get the gist)

So. Yep.
 
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christian74

Senior Member
Oct 1, 2013
594
280
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#10
If you are wondering if you were called to be single, then I think you being here since 2012, having posted over 100 posts with Rep Power of 2 pretty much says that you are NOT called to be single. Hope this helps.
 
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cayosura

Guest
#11
If you are wondering if you were called to be single, then I think you being here since 2012, having posted over 100 posts with Rep Power of 2 pretty much says that you are NOT called to be single. Hope this helps.

Lolz i do hope u are right..but i guess only God knows...
 
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
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Indiana
#12
I wasn't called, I just learned long ago its not going to happen. so now I hurry up and wait to croak.
 
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Endeavor

Guest
#13
I think if you desire it that is a good sign; desire meaning something more than desperation. God can certainly work with desperation, but I think the better relationships with God or another more often come when we understand our strengths and weaknesses together and apart from a mate. I think prayer is key for confirmation; consistent and along with faith that God is good and wants the best for you or your possible mate.

I think it is good sign that you want to get married if you have it in your heart to pray ahead of time for your future mate; not just that they are attractive, have money, or are a near perfect Christian, but for other things as well. If you find yourself smiling at the idea, but are reasonably OK with not being married yet I think it is good and you are fine being single for now. And if you are not sure I think it's a good sign to be accepting of both possibilities. It prepares the heart to at least have an inkling or direction of what to pray, and to have faith in whatever God provides.
 
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Nicee

Guest
#14
NO ONE IS CALLED TO BE SINGLE. If you were--ull know. Samson was called to be a judge n fight against the philistines. He had a love interest but her father gave her to someone else. Delilah--his next love interest betrays him. He knew why he was born but still try to have a love life. God wants everyone to have a lover but his plan for u comes first. When u did wht he told u to do. Ull have a husband/wife and there is nothing or anyone(not even the devil) tht will make the two of you divorce. Everyone was meant to have a partner. It's just that we focus so much on finding a partner. Tht we forget he/she is just a human.

I cant remember the verse or who said it but it goes like this: "Those who have a lover should focus on him/her and his/her desire is to please his/her lover, but those that are single should focus on the Lord and how to please him so your heart will not be divided." paraphrase btw.

In conclusion, focus on God and he will give u the desire of your heart. Meaning if u want a husband/wife. Ull get one and u 2 will live happily ever after. But u need to be patience. If U ask God when ull have a husband/wife. He will ALWAYS say SOON. Soon can be 1-20 or more years but he will always give u the desires of your heart.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#15
In conclusion, focus on God and he will give u the desire of your heart. Meaning if u want a husband/wife. Ull get one and u 2 will live happily ever after. But u need to be patience. If U ask God when ull have a husband/wife. He will ALWAYS say SOON. Soon can be 1-20 or more years but he will always give u the desires of your heart.
Yes, because God clearly gives everyone exactly what they want. Because that's what God is, you know...basically a genie in a bottle. And there are no examples ever of God saying no, or God NOT giving people what they pray for as long as they pray really, really hard, and serve Him. God exists to give us OUR desires, not vice versa.

-_-
 
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Nicee

Guest
#16
Yes, because God clearly gives everyone exactly what they want. Because that's what God is, you know...basically a genie in a bottle. And there are no examples ever of God saying no, or God NOT giving people what they pray for as long as they pray really, really hard, and serve Him. God exists to give us OUR desires, not vice versa.

-_-
LMBO!!!! ;)Read the whole passage n just dont reply on tht part.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
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#17
I've found that one of the best ways to be thankful to be single is to become friends with married people and listen to everything they're dealing with.

As further insurance, spend an hour each day reading all the threads from married people in the Family Forum in which they talk about all the troubles of being married. When you read each situation, picture that being your marriage and ask yourself what you would do. We often think marriage is the cure for things like loneliness and lust but when you read about how many people are married and horribly lonely or not having sex or dealing with cheating spouses or spouses addicted to porn and internet dating... And keep in mind, these people are married--meaning, it's FOREVER and Biblically, it's not just a matter of walking away simply because of unhappiness or dissatisfaction.

You might not know if you're called to be single, but you will definitely tell God you're thankful for your current state.
 

OnThisRock

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
18
#18
I've found that one of the best ways to be thankful to be single is to become friends with married people and listen to everything they're dealing with.

As further insurance, spend an hour each day reading all the threads from married people in the Family Forum in which they talk about all the troubles of being married. When you read each situation, picture that being your marriage and ask yourself what you would do. We often think marriage is the cure for things like loneliness and lust but when you read about how many people are married and horribly lonely or not having sex or dealing with cheating spouses or spouses addicted to porn and internet dating... And keep in mind, these people are married--meaning, it's FOREVER and Biblically, it's not just a matter of walking away simply because of unhappiness or dissatisfaction.

You might not know if you're called to be single, but you will definitely tell God you're thankful for your current state.
I run from most married women. They seem to only want to teach me about life, when most have no clue what it is like to be single (this is from my experience). I remember pastors wives just wanted me out of their church or would take me to lunch just to see if I will steal their husband. HA. I have learned only from wise individuals who have been through as much as I have, single or not single. Most, if you try to share your experiences and they have no idea what you are going thorugh, will say something like, "Maybe you should talk to a counselor" ahahaha
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#19
NO ONE IS CALLED TO BE SINGLE. If you were--ull know.
This simply is not Biblical. There is no universal marital mandate in scripture. And everyone is single at some point in their life so it is more reasonable to say that everyone is called to be single… at least for a season.

Samson was called to be a judge n fight against the philistines. He had a love interest but her father gave her to someone else. Delilah--his next love interest betrays him. He knew why he was born but still try to have a love life. God wants everyone to have a lover but his plan for u comes first. When u did wht he told u to do. Ull have a husband/wife and there is nothing or anyone(not even the devil) tht will make the two of you divorce. Everyone was meant to have a partner. It's just that we focus so much on finding a partner. Tht we forget he/she is just a human.
What's Samson got to do with it except as an example of how not to conduct your love life. God loves everyone but again nowhere in scripture does it say that God wants everyone to be in a romantic relationship. And obedience is no guarantee of easy times or blessings. Biblical examples would include Jeremiah, Hosea, Stephen and other martyrs (in or out of the Bible), Jesus (I can't imagine that whole crucifixion thing was pleasant), David on the run for years from a jealous king. Exactly where do you get these ideas from other than your own desires about the way you want things to be.

I cant remember the verse or who said it but it goes like this: "Those who have a lover should focus on him/her and his/her desire is to please his/her lover, but those that are single should focus on the Lord and how to please him so your heart will not be divided." paraphrase btw.
1 Cor 7:32 ff

But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

In conclusion, focus on God and he will give u the desire of your heart. Meaning if u want a husband/wife. Ull get one and u 2 will live happily ever after. But u need to be patience. If U ask God when ull have a husband/wife. He will ALWAYS say SOON. Soon can be 1-20 or more years but he will always give u the desires of your heart.
The verse is delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). And it has been very wisely said that that verse doesn't mean so much that God will give us what we want but that he will put right desires in our hearts so that we want what he wants for us. Bottom line, you are incorrect in your assertions. God is not obligated to do what we want or give us anything just because we want it. As Shour implied, God isn't a genie in the lamp waiting to grant our wishes. He has his own will and plans and ideas and since he's God he pretty much gets to do what he wants.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
32
48
#20
Here is what Jesus said about the topic:

Matthew 19:12For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

So according to that, you could be one of the following...

1. Born that way: We hear the ultimate perversion of this on a regular basis these days. I am thinking that this one has to do with physical/mental limitations. Thoughts?
2. Made by men: This one reminds me of monasteries that require it. 1 Timothy 4 covers this though saying that it is the result of seducing spirits and the teaching of devils to forbid others to marry.
3. By choice for the kingdom of heaven: This is the case for Apostle Paul.

Jeremiah was called by God to be single (a lot of people know this, but do not know why):

Jeremiah 16:
The word of the Lord came also unto me, saying,2 Thou shalt not take thee a wife, neither shalt thou have sons or daughters in this place.

However, it was not because it was not God's will for him. It was because it was God's will for him to not suffer the following fate...


3 For [because] thus saith the Lord concerning the sons and concerning the daughters that are born in this place, and concerning their mothers that bare them, and concerning their fathers that begat them in this land;
4 They shall die of grievous deaths; they shall not be lamented; neither shall they be buried; but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth: and they shall be consumed by the sword, and by famine; and their carcasses shall be meat for the fowls of heaven, and for the beasts of the earth.

So I would say that unless you received a word from the Lord like Jeremiah, then you are not called to be single. However, you could "choose" to remain single like Apostle Paul.