I hold an MS in counseling from a secular university, though I studied counseling in Bible college, and 2 different universities. Probably the majority of people do not understand what counseling is about, though it can be different depending upon the theoretical basis of the counseling. By secular standards, counseling is not supposed to be advise giving.
Unfortunately most of counseling theory is not based upon any scientific proof, but what seems to work.
My pattern for counseling is
1) catharsis: a caring non-judgmental listening ear; someone to dump your stuff on; the counselor must have unconditional positive regard for the client. (Only a born again Christian is capable of real love, real caring.)
2) instruction is how cognitively to restructure your beliefs (not necessarily theology here) so that the painful emotion is less painful. For example, a client may have the belief that he cannot be happy unless his wife does such and such. Instead of having great mental anguish based on that faulty belief, a client may be taught to while it will be sad if his wife doesn't do such and such, it is not grounds for extreme grief and that he can be happy despite the wife not doing what he wishes.
(Just one example). A non-Christian may be able to help you find some of your irrational behavioral beliefs, beliefs that result in negative painful emotions.
3) problem solving,
4) connection of Bible to problem if the client wants to go there.
In problem solving alternative solutions are proposed by client and counselor, eliminating the impossible, limiting to what is practical, but also breaking out of the box. The Goal has to be determined, and both client & counselor must agree on the goal to continue. Then the means of obtaining the goal are proposed and discussed. Again the impossible methods are discarded and also breaking out of the box is included. The counselor and the client must agree on the methods to be used.
One paradigm for counseling is basically just reflecting back the content that the client presents with, identifying the emotions attached, and then the beliefs that mediate the emotions: My husband won't put the seat down; I am angry about this. Belief causing the anger: "I cannot be happy if my husband doesn't put down the seat; My husband doesn't love me as proven by this, and my husband MUST love me."
The idea is that by exposing the content, affect, and beliefs, the client will figure out his own cure.
Another paradigm is that by exploring childhood and family constellation, insight will be obtained: Ah Ha!
Another paradigm is that behavior is determined by feedback; positive & negative. Put the client in a Skinner box. When he does something he thinks he should not do, he pops his wrist with a rubber band, etc.
In general, I don't think it wise to go to a non-Christian counselor as such a person doesn't understand reality. Also the psychology of a Christian is different from that of a non-Christian. The Christian has 2 natures: Old Man & New Man in conflict. The Christian is indwelt by the Holy Spirit.
2 But we received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is from God; that we might know the things that were freely given to us of God. 13 Which things also we speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Spirit teacheth; combining spiritual things with spiritual words. 14 Now the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him; and he cannot know them, because they are spiritually judged. 15 But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, and he himself is judged of no man. 16 For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he should instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.
In the multitude of counselors, there is safety.
Of course Biblical counsel is much about godly advise.
Whatever the counselor, if he is well-studied in the DSM (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), he may be able to help you see behavior patterns in you life which are signs of conflict and emotional pain. Some of these, at least, have Biblical counterparts. Delusions & hallucinations are mental disorders (as one example). Delusions are part and parcel of satan's arsenal, getting you to believe lies.
Someone may not have realized that Dependent Personality is dysfunctional as when someone makes a rule for himself that he MUST "have" someone else and goes stalking.
At any rate, best to get a Christian counselor.
