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Thread: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Roh_Chris's Avatar
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    Default Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    DISCLAIMER: This thread is merely a reflection on some Bible verses with respect to our lives. If you suffer from depression/suicidal thoughts, it may not be advisable to read this thread.

    ************************************************** **********************************************

    Over the last couple of weeks, I have heard news about many people passing away. Three people who were very close to my family passed away in the last 10 days. Some others who we knew in church as acquaintances also passed away. After attending the funeral of a pastor who was very close to my family, I was driving back with dad. Though I rarely have a rational conversation with dad, this time we were talking about the life of this pastor and how he was a blessing to so many people who knew him. It was then that dad said a sentence which triggered my thoughts. He said "I prefer to attend a funeral because there are so many valuable lessons that I can learn for myself, to make me a better person and to get closer to God."

    I reflected on the same question for myself and I realised that I had learnt the importance of prayer/praising God through the testimonies of many people at that pastor's funeral. For once, I agreed with dad's opinion. To be honest, I think I would prefer the same thing too. It does not mean that I would never enjoy a social gathering, but I think there is a greater blessing when I attend a good man's funeral because I can learn a lot.

    What do you guys think about this?

    - Why did King Solomon write what he wrote in Ecclesiastes 7:1-4?

    - Do you agree with what King Solomon wrote? Do you think it is better to attend the funeral of a true Christian than in attending a feast?

    - Are there any exceptions to this thumb-rule? (Please specify a few instances, if you could..)


    I think this is a wonderful Scripture passage and it resonates with me a lot. Feel free to share your thoughts.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Grace-Like-Rain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    It's so interesting that you brought this up today. Just yesterday I was talking with my daughters about God drawing close to his people, and whether it was better to be happy all the time, or sad all the time. (Weird thing to talk about, I know.) Our conversation led me to ask the question "I wonder if God draws closer to us in our laughter or in our grief?" And in my own life, I've praised God with joy many times, and have run to him in distress many times, but the times of distress and grief were the times that I most remember him COVERING me, you know? Those times were the most distinct, the most memorable, the most overwhelming with his presence.

    That's what this passage makes me think about. Aside from God drawing closer to the broken-hearted, we also are more refined by trials than by joys. I wish it weren't that way, but it is. Hard times develop character in a way that "feasting" never seems to, as wonderful as it is.

    Ecclesiastes 7:1-4

    7 A good name is better than precious ointment,
    and the day of death than the day of birth.
    2 It is better to go to the house of mourning
    than to go to the house of feasting,
    for this is the end of all mankind,
    and the living will lay it to heart.
    3 Sorrow is better than laughter,
    for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
    4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
    but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.


    I have been to some amazing weddings that inspired me, but you are right... the testimony of a Christian's life after it has been finished is definitely an emotional and inspirational blessing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Roh_Chris View Post
    Okay Grace, I will make the sandwiches

    The church...the world...doesn't need to see our competence.
    They need to hear our confession. -psychomom


  3. #3
    Senior Member Roh_Chris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Thank you for your reply, Grace. I understand that this may not have been an easy answer to give. (What a coincidence about the timing!)

    You have mentioned a good point - we feel closer to God during our moments of grief and pain. And I think that also extends to being blessed more at a funeral than at a wedding. I don't mean any offense to anybody, but I just feel that there is so much we can learn at a funeral.

  4. #4
    Senior Member JesusLives's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    I had a friend named Kathy and we used to sing together in a group called Adoration. This woman did everything she was such a busy worker for God and I used to tell her I got tired just watching and listening to the things she was doing. When tourist and I went to marriage counselling Pastor Joey referred to Kathy that after she passed away from ovarian cancer it took 9 people to replace her because of all the different things she did for the church.

    I miss her very much not only was she a great worker she was a fantastic friend and left an impact on so many lives at her funeral the church was packed and I remember telling her that she burned the candle at both ends and the only problem I see with that is that the light goes out so much faster. However, since she has been gone I hope that I can take up some of the slack and work for God in a better way because of her example. My personality would never be the busy person that she was as I have a way more laid back personality than she did. But I do want to serve God more because of the good example she gave.

    We can learn lessons from God in good times and in sad times but it is best to learn to serve God all the time. Everyday start with Him and walk with Him throughout the day. Those days are better than when I try to walk alone....as I mess things up by myself.

  5. #5
    Senior Member hoss2576's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    I think in our sadness during those times our eyes and hearts are more open to receiving the things God wants us to learn. Celebrations and happy events are great, but I don't think I have ever been looking or open to any insight while there. I think a lot of people seem to be in a more contemplative state at funerals which leads to that door being open to new lessons and personal revelations.

  6. #6
    Senior Member PopClick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    I'm having a hard time seeing them as separate houses in the first place. So many choices that we make will result in us spending time in BOTH houses. Sometimes one outweighs the other, but there's a weird tinge of happiness that comes about because of sadness, and it goes the other way, too. Happiness during sadness because our flame might be battered but never truly extinguished, as we know that things really will be okay, someday. And sadness or even guilt in happiness when we are unable to share those "good" feelings with others. Something that most people consider to be a blessing might riddle you with such guilt that you have it and others don't... that you wish you never had it in the first place.

    We don't always know which house we're entering. We might think we're turning the doorknob to the house of happiness, but once we are inside, we realize that things were not what we thought they might be. Or we can make such an effort to avoid that house of sadness, that our efforts to avoid it become the very thing that places us inside. We might be in the house of mirth, but can't let ourselves fully enjoy it because we're preoccupied by waiting for the other shoe to drop... we suspect that things won't always be this happy, and it keeps us from enjoying the mirth while it's there.

    And it's hard to appreciate happiness if you've never known sadness, you know? And vice versa. Contrast makes everything more clear, and deep feelings (of one extreme or another) can make us feel alive.

    Mirth, for some, seems to be synonymous with ignorance (ie, ignorance is bliss). I don't think that's the proper attitude to have, if you're glossing over the things you need to deal with because you would rather pretend they don't exist. It might be more comfortable, but it isn't moral.

    I know that I have learned and grown in happiness too, but I have definitely learned and grown more in sadness. We do seem more receptive to lessons and changes when we're not on top of the world. Or sometimes we need to be hit with a metaphorical 2x4 because we are just that hard-headed.

    I don't think I have ever lived completely in one house or the other. So... all that to say that I don't really know what Solomon meant. And wow, I just typed a long post. Chris, that will cost you $50.
    kenthomas27 and Roh_Chris like this.
    Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.
    Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  7. #7
    Senior Member Roh_Chris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?




    Actually, you owe me $50 because you made me think a lot for your post. But since it's Christmas season, I will waive off $50 from the $300 you owe me.

    Okay, now that I got my jokes out of my system I will reply to your post.

    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    We might be in the house of mirth, but can't let ourselves fully enjoy it because we're preoccupied by waiting for the other shoe to drop... we suspect that things won't always be this happy, and it keeps us from enjoying the mirth while it's there.
    I am not sure whether this applies to everybody. I can relate to what you said, but that's because I always count myself to be a tragic hero. It's this feeling of 'impending mishap' where I always think my house of mirth is gonna be wrecked by some saddening incident. But does everybody have that?


    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    And it's hard to appreciate happiness if you've never known sadness, you know? And vice versa. Contrast makes everything more clear, and deep feelings (of one extreme or another) can make us feel alive.
    This is very true. It's the contrast of emotions that makes us feel alive. I once read somewhere 'Life is a curve with ups and downs. If you flat-line, you are dead.'

    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    I know that I have learned and grown in happiness too, but I have definitely learned and grown more in sadness. We do seem more receptive to lessons and changes when we're not on top of the world. Or sometimes we need to be hit with a metaphorical 2x4 because we are just that hard-headed.

    I don't think I have ever lived completely in one house or the other. So... all that to say that I don't really know what Solomon meant. And wow, I just typed a long post. Chris, that will cost you $50.
    I think what Solomon meant is that we would learn more in a house of mourning than in a house of mirth. I can validate this from my personal experiences, but I think it varies from person to person.

    ***********

    Thank you to Grace-Like-Rain, JesusLives, hoss2576 and PopClick for sharing.
    PopClick likes this.

  8. #8
    1still_waters
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    They seem to go hand in hand. One reminds of eternity and the graveness of existence, the other gives strength and hope, and makes life liveable.

  9. #9
    Senior Member PopClick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    I am not sure whether this applies to everybody. I can relate to what you said, but that's because I always count myself to be a tragic hero. It's this feeling of 'impending mishap' where I always think my house of mirth is gonna be wrecked by some saddening incident. But does everybody have that?
    No, I think some people are a LOT more prone to it than others. Natural-born worriers. But I don't think the worriers would be predisposed to the "ignorance is bliss" attitude I mentioned. It's just different hangups for different personalities. Of course, anyone could give themselves a problem if they REALLY wanted to. Like how focusing on the bad things in your life will take you right from the house of mirth into the house of mourning, even if you have far fewer reasons to be there.



    This is very true. It's the contrast of emotions that makes us feel alive. I once read somewhere 'Life is a curve with ups and downs. If you flat-line, you are dead.'
    Yesssss! Totally true.



    I think what Solomon meant is that we would learn more in a house of mourning than in a house of mirth. I can validate this from my personal experiences, but I think it varies from person to person.
    I find that to be generally true as well.



    Thank you to Grace-Like-Rain, JesusLives, hoss2576 and PopClick for sharing.
    You're welcome, but how did I come to owe you $300? There's only room for one extortionist on cc.
    Last edited by PopClick; December 6th, 2014 at 07:15 PM.

  10. #10
    1still_waters
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    PopClick while I'm available do you want me to make that a darker font?
    PopClick likes this.

  11. #11
    Senior Member PopClick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Is it hard to read? :O Sorry... I think I have time to change it still.
    Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.
    Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  12. #12
    1still_waters
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    Is it hard to read? :O Sorry... I think I have time to change it still.
    Hard for me, it's a bright font that doesn't contrast well against the off white background. Could be me..

  13. #13
    Senior Member PopClick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Fixthed it. I realized that you really must be color blind and getting old because your eyes can't adjust properly but that is more your problem than mine. Might I recommend Lasik???
    Last edited by Oncefallen; December 6th, 2014 at 07:46 PM. Reason: You tempted me
    1still_waters likes this.
    Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.
    Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  14. #14
    1still_waters
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    Fixthed it. Although now that I think about it, it would amuse me to have a post edited by a mod. Maybe you could change this one to say something utterly ridiculous, if you wanted to.
    Don't tempt me. :P
    PopClick likes this.

  15. #15
    Senior Member PopClick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    Fixthed it. I realized that you really must be color blind and getting old because your eyes can't adjust properly but that is more your problem than mine. Might I recommend Lasik???
    Hahahaha, Oncefallen, you troll! My life is now complete.
    Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.
    Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  16. #16
    1still_waters
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    Hahahaha, Oncefallen, you troll! My life is now complete.
    That was easy.

  17. #17
    Idiot in Chief Oncefallen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    Hahahaha, Oncefallen, you troll! My life is now complete.
    Quote Originally Posted by 1still_waters View Post
    That was easy.
    Guys get in line. Any woman this easy to please won't last long.
    1still_waters likes this.

  18. #18
    Senior Member PopClick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    HE'S TRYING TO MARRY ME OFF AGAIN!!!
    Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.
    Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  19. #19
    Idiot in Chief Oncefallen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    Quote Originally Posted by PopClick View Post
    HE'S TRYING TO MARRY ME OFF STILL!!!
    Fixed it for you.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Fenner's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which is more beautiful - house of mirth or a house of mourning?

    This is going to sound odd but give it a chance, funerals are for the living just as weddings are. Except weddings represent a beginning and funerals an ending. I've heard people talk about what they want when their dead, like a memorial a casket, etc, this is what I've made clear to my family, I will be dead, I won't know what you do so don't worry about it. I do want to be cremated because I think we take up way to much space with cemeteries and things of that nature. There is this thing that they can plant a tree with your ashes, that sounds nice, but if they use me as fertilizer I don't care, I'll be rejoicing with Jesus.

    I have been to funerals and have learned things, also weddings and learned something. I think if you know the deceased opened their heart to the Lord, yes they're dead you'll miss them, but celebrate a little too, they've gone home.

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