Single Men It's Time to Step Up!

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biscuit

Guest
I believe many Christian women are having a difficult time "dropping" those freebies & benefits that the secular world has given them even though God objects them as destructive to His foundation of marriage. Why would any Christian man marry a so-called Christian women who doesn't have a problem playing both sides of the fence, knowing he will get burned to crisp in the end?
 
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biscuit

Guest
[h=1]1 John 2:15-16New International Version (NIV)[/h][h=3]On Not Loving the World[/h][SUP]15 [/SUP]Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[SUP][a][/SUP] is not in them. [SUP]16 [/SUP]For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.
 
May 3, 2013
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I don´t mind assuming "the problem" is solely mine.

They can blame whoever they like, even by the boldness of a young smart woman, because it has been men who tried to explore them first.

I remembered I wanted to be vasectomized at 18 and the nearer doctor we had in the family laughed at me telling me "crazy" (I never planned or desired to be a "father") and now I know it well, and Rachel is right when saying that, when a woman is loved, no price is limited or denied, the thing gets worst when it keeps on changing and blindly demanding.

Is it the reason why "legal" prostitution is rampant? It is cheaper, no responsabilities is involved and "emotionally" men and women lied to one another saying: "no strings attached..." That´s a lie! Emotinally and spiritually men belong to a woman.

The last gf I have, six month ago, made me believe she was and "apostle"... I met her in a church and I don´t care what she made to make-believe: She has all the rights she has (that was not the reason why I approached, because I love (or loved) the way she is and I explored the possibility of being remarried and, after a good time, I knew what she wanted and ALL of us know what we want (or wanted) (it´s not pleasing God, but the self and our human nature).

Yes! I´m wrong in generalizing...

We´re all picking the best! We´re not going to be engaged in a relationship forcely by machism or feminism, that´s a lie. We stepped in because we liked it to advance, we felt we needed or deserved it and, during that time, we saw what was liked or not, desired or to be left. If God was in the center, the way Isaac got his wife, things could be different, but my own AGE is not a warranty I knew everything about me, I haven´t explore all my dreams or fantasies, so I was lacking some social interactions I ignored to know, at the long run, it doesn´t matter who walked on the relationship first -a man or a woman- because in love or war, all is fare.
 
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1 John 2:15-16New International Version (NIV)

On Not Loving the World

[SUP]15 [/SUP]Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[SUP][a][/SUP] is not in them. [SUP]16 [/SUP]For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.
These are passing away: "the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life..."
 
May 3, 2013
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You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd
We ain't too pretty we ain't too proud
We might be laughing a bit too loud
Aw but that never hurt no one


Only the good die young
Only the good die young
I´m old! i´m old!

And I have lived to know it well. ;)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd
We ain't too pretty we ain't too proud
We might be laughing a bit too loud
Aw but that never hurt no one


Only the good die young
Only the good die young
I'll see your song quote and raise you this:

If the good die young
Lordy if the good die young
Mama's little boy's gonna have a lot of fun
Cause he's gonna live forever if the good die young
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
In my observations, there are some women at church who play both sides of the fence just as there are some men who do. However, the bigger problem is that though most do not in their personal lives they do in the voting booth.

The situation came to be because most women, and I would assert most Christian women too, voted FOR the feminist dominated situation we have today directly and indirectly through their representative and ballot measure choices. This didn't occur apart from most Christian women in a nation who's women were primarily Christian during the 60's, 70s, and 80s.

The trending withdrawal of men from courtship and marriage to casual non-committal relationships and sex is a reaction to this. If you study organizational behavior, it makes perfect sense. A primary driver in organizational behavior is a concept known as 'equity theory' which attempts to explain relational satisfaction in terms of perceptions of fair/unfair distributions of resources within interpersonal relationships. Equity theory proposes that individuals who perceive themselves as under-rewarded, for example, will experience distress and this distress motivates them to seek to restore equity within the relationship.

The very theory social scientists use to explain the rise of feminism is also available to help explain what's happening with Western men. They are experiencing distress and seeking to restore equity.

In my opinion, the real victim of liberal/radical feminism and the emergent male reaction in all of this (aside from the fatherless children and innocent taxpayers who have the enormous fiscal debt of paying for the welfare child support model dumped on them and their progeny) are the nice chaste godly homely women who fifty years ago would be happily married, raising a family, and perhaps even working if they liked patiently sitting in church praying for a man (they were designed by God to be in relationship with) that will never come. And, I find that tragic and wholly ungodly.


I believe many Christian women are having a difficult time "dropping" those freebies & benefits that the secular world has given them even though God objects them as destructive to His foundation of marriage. Why would any Christian man marry a so-called Christian women who doesn't have a problem playing both sides of the fence, knowing he will get burned to crisp in the end?
 
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biscuit

Guest
In my observations, there are some women at church who play both sides of the fence just as there are some men who do. However, the bigger problem is that though most do not in their personal lives they do in the voting booth.

The situation came to be because most women, and I would assert most Christian women too, voted FOR the feminist dominated situation we have today directly and indirectly through their representative and ballot measure choices. This didn't occur apart from most Christian women in a nation who's women were primarily Christian during the 60's, 70s, and 80s.

The trending withdrawal of men from courtship and marriage to casual non-committal relationships and sex is a reaction to this. If you study organizational behavior, it makes perfect sense. A primary driver in organizational behavior is a concept known as 'equity theory' which attempts to explain relational satisfaction in terms of perceptions of fair/unfair distributions of resources within interpersonal relationships. Equity theory proposes that individuals who perceive themselves as under-rewarded, for example, will experience distress and this distress motivates them to seek to restore equity within the relationship.

The very theory social scientists use to explain the rise of feminism is also available to help explain what's happening with Western men. They are experiencing distress and seeking to restore equity.

In my opinion, the real victim of liberal/radical feminism and the emergent male reaction in all of this (aside from the fatherless children and innocent taxpayers who have the enormous fiscal debt of paying for the welfare child support model dumped on them and their progeny) are the nice chaste godly homely women who fifty years ago would be happily married, raising a family, and perhaps even working if they liked patiently sitting in church praying for a man (they were designed by God to be in relationship with) that will never come. And, I find that tragic and wholly ungodly.

Well stated!! They (many Christian women) helped to make the bed and now they are having trouble sleeping in it.

I saw the trends in 1968 and just step aside and watch my male friends, like hungry wolves, devouring what they thought was free, fresh, piece of meat, without thinking of the pending consequences. Women in those days were setting "traps" for men they wanted or "hated" because they knew the system would backed them up or give them a free pass.


What saved me was my "family tree" of classy, real women which I compared to the leeches that were portraying themselves as the so-called "new women." I avoided them like the plague and only dated women that had similar female attributes of my classy, feminine women on my mother & father side of the family.

All I can say is that those women who rode the bandwagon of the feminist movement are about 55-65 and most are not doing too well, and allow their younger counterparts hanging around to carry the excessive baggage they created.


 
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Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
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In my opinion, the real victim of liberal/radical feminism and the emergent male reaction in all of this (aside from the fatherless children and innocent taxpayers who have the enormous fiscal debt of paying for the welfare child support model dumped on them and their progeny) are the nice chaste godly homely women who fifty years ago would be happily married, raising a family, and perhaps even working if they liked patiently sitting in church praying for a man (they were designed by God to be in relationship with) that will never come. And, I find that tragic and wholly ungodly.
That, my friend, is why I refuse to link up with the manosphere though I was tempted to not long ago. They and the feminists hurt the people we should love and protect the most- the righteous, the innocent, and God himself.

I am not going to fall into the same traps as the feminists. Why? Well it's just unmanly. It revolves around complaining about "society", sexual liberation from cultural constraints, dereliction of duty to the next generation, and begging for special treatment one does not deserve.

People can say it is all about "legal equality." I support equal protection under the law like any sensible man would. This reactive movement though stinks of acidic retribution in the same way feminism does.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
I don't see what's wrong in making a man responsible for the child he himself has reproduced - whether out of marriage or not.

The fact that a man could shirk the responsibility of his own child just because he wasn't married is sickening.

I am very glad that the western world follows such a model and I hope that India follows suit. We don't have a child support system but hopefully we can move in this positive direction.

Rather than a reward system, it is about accountability. If a man goes around sleeping with a woman, and gets a child in the process, he should be made accountable!

If he is unwilling to marry the woman, then why did he sleep with her in the first place?

Children themselves are a blessing as God states, and a reward in themselves. [Psalm 127:3-5]


A wise Christian man will prayerfully seek a woman who is like-minded and then proceed towards creation of a family. Even in cases of divorce, there is a court of Law and a justice system.

Many parents have won rights of visitations in the event of one parent trying to prevent that.

Having a child support system is actually a good levy against men who think they can get away with just going around "sowing their wild oats."

Did you know that said payments are calculated based upon income at the time of the lawsuit in question - not based upon need.

A lot of men made good salaries once upon a time, and some of them have gotten divorced. Some of them cannot pay the incredible sums of money demanded of them by a higher court thanks to an economic recession. Just ask yourself how a man who made 100k a year and got stuck with 30-40k a year in alimony (it happens sometimes) can now live on 50k a year, seeing as the government takes about 30 percent of it before he ever sees it. Pretty soon he can't afford to drive to work, can't afford to eat, and can't afford to pay his own dang bills, and then the money dries up completely.


The entire system is often used to punish a man after a woman decides she's through with him. The deadbeats never pay it any ways. The honest guys get thrown under the bus though.


Two sides to every coin.





As for the rest of this nonsense, I'm not sure what this thread has become, but it never really started off that well to begin with. I don't know anyone who likes to be accused of not fitting their own gender identity, and frankly the original post already had me on the defensive and I'm usually pretty laid back.


Really, it boils down to the fact that no emotionally healthy man (or woman) is interested in playing the white knight. In the dating sphere, that means if you're not readily accessible as a person, you're going to get passed up. Anyone looking to be chased is going to either end up on the sidelines or end up chased for all the wrong reasons - someone is either looking for another notch in the belt or for emotional reassurance about something broken within themselves.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
First Desdichado, the present societal feminist "family" model has deviated so far from the biblical model that, in fundamental ways, it is now anti-biblical/anti-Christ and producing increasingly undesirable results for societies (and especially males) at a diseconomies of scale.

Secondly, a great many men, women, and children are being materially impacted by the present model in very negative ways whether or not they want to be in ways that God never intended (as evidenced in His Word).

Obviously, it's godly for men and women to fulfill their biblical responsibilities toward helping to correct such an ungodly situation. There's certainly nothing manly nor Christian about retreating from such a dire problem instead of serving God (His Word in hand) to help fix it.

That said, I understand your rejection of the secular "manosphere" with it's liberation from God's normative morality and self-centered focus which mirrors that of feminism. Though I mull about in it from time to time attempting to influence its members with the Christian worldview: it's obviously not a Christian sphere.

But then neither is the world a Christian sphere and Jesus Christ, our example, prayed that father God NOT take us out of the world (John 17:15) but rather we act as salt and light in the world (Matthew 5) which does not equate to retreating from what can accurately be described is an attack by Satan on God's design for the family.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
For me it's always been an attempt to competently answer the young lady's question why young men are willfully choosing not to "step up" and engage in traditional courtship followed by marriage.

...I'm not sure what this thread has become...
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
For me it's always been an attempt to competently answer the young lady's question why young men are willfully choosing not to "step up" and engage in traditional courtship followed by marriage.
Then start by telling her to stop looking for prince charming, and that a man isn't going to want to have to work just to get a woman to open up.

Then you can get into the vanishing of the male gender. But really, whether a guy is a pushover or the manliest man on the planet, no one who's interested in settling down ever wants to have to chase someone. It's a dumb precedent to set, and frankly someone who feels the need for it is probably always going to feel the need for it (which is very counter productive to settling down).
 
May 3, 2013
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Hmmm!

I just wanted to keep this ball going on these words I liked (a woman said):

"...The key words here are apathy and cowardice. Does this sound like you or somebody you know?

Lastly, this life is a journey. Take a risk, trust in God, surround yourself with other Christians and meet single women, befriend us and don't be afraid of us! If you want to be loved then you must first love. Ask yourself this: If you believe God has already met you in the depths of your soul then what have you got to lose? Open your hearts, gents.

We are waiting for you and we love you!
"

It seemed some ladies are discouraged to talk, but they´re reading and, any moment a WORDY bomb will be sent... :p
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
Really - I'm just too tired. Think I'll step out instead.




Have a Merry Christmas everyone!
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
Hmmm!

I just wanted to keep this ball going on these words I liked (a woman said):

"...The key words here are apathy and cowardice. Does this sound like you or somebody you know?

Lastly, this life is a journey. Take a risk, trust in God, surround yourself with other Christians and meet single women, befriend us and don't be afraid of us! If you want to be loved then you must first love. Ask yourself this: If you believe God has already met you in the depths of your soul then what have you got to lose? Open your hearts, gents.

We are waiting for you and we love you!
"

It seemed some ladies are discouraged to talk, but they´re reading and, any moment a WORDY bomb will be sent... :p
Those key words were what doomed this thread from the start. Inflammatory words intended to elicit a response have a bad habit of back firing - which is where all of the topic drift started to begin with.

I didn't particularly enjoy being lumped in with cowards because I'm a dude. Actually I found it fairly offensive.

A fair number of men rallied around one another and we have pages upon pages of discussion about how men aren't allowed to be themselves any more. And frankly if we're going to be called cowards before we even get a chance to speak, then they're probably more right than not.

The rest of the guys gave responses ranging from "I don't know" to "there there, it's okay", because honestly what the heck are we supposed to say? God never promised a mate to any one, and if you're going to retreat to a safe distance, then you've simply guaranteed that no one will ever find you.
 
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biscuit

Guest
Then start by telling her to stop looking for prince charming, and that a man isn't going to want to have to work just to get a woman to open up.

Then you can get into the vanishing of the male gender. But really, whether a guy is a pushover or the manliest man on the planet, no one who's interested in settling down ever wants to have to chase someone. It's a dumb precedent to set, and frankly someone who feels the need for it is probably always going to feel the need for it (which is very counter productive to settling down).
I believe you are missing the main point of AgeofAcknowledge and my post which is: "if today's young women are having a difficult & frustrating time finding a Christian mate, they should take a crash course in Women's Movement in the 1960's & 70's.

In a way, AgeofAcknowledge & I are giving those women on CC who are looking for answers an idea what is really going on.

I believe they will get a pretty good idea why relationships between males & females can be "ice cold."

I have studied the Women's Movement and its direct complications on male behavior for nearly 40 years.
 
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May 3, 2013
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I saw her words challenging and, what any might have said i don´t feel it as offensive, those are their ideas or opinions and,
I´m sure if any said: "OK! marry me or let´s be married" I guess an idea of possible reactions to it so, life is a journey and, when we are travelling, each has paid his / her tickets and each carries her / his bags or luggage (I rather like back packs).

I believe women have good intentions as men, as well, sharing what they have encountered while life "travelling".

That journey has a good timing to be started... After 40 or 50 I rather chose it alone, with my backpack and paying my own ticket (children are left home or somewhere else) because I know them and I know the luggage these would need when I´m used to walk alone as a backpacker. Is it good to find good companion and backpackers who might climb the mountains you have climbed?

Amos 3:3

Experienced backpackers just wrote on things they learned and know, while new ones need to know what they want to know, alone or WORKING AS TEAMMATES.
 
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I believe you are missing the main point of AgeofAcknowledge and my post which is: "if today's young women are having a difficult & frustrating time finding a Christian mate, they should take a crash course in Women's Movement in the 1960's & 70's.

No no. We ALL understand what your main point is biscuit.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
We certainly DO want young Christian men and young Christian women to form godly families and find a lifetime of joy in each other's arms through all the ups and downs of life which is God's will for humanity and which they are designed by God for.

And fortunately tens of millions of people are doing exactly that right now in this country (and in the country you live in wherever that may be).

But well... to be metaphorical, a serpent slithered into the garden and deceived a very large number of Eves in Western Civilization and now a very large number of Adams no longer want to court and marry them anymore and, in fact, are already quietly at war with both them and the system they created for them to live under not in word but rather with their actions.

Try to understand the scope. Here's one example: hundreds of millions of children have, are, and will grow up apart from the benefit of a reasonable father present in their lives.

Given the enormous body of evidence that exists today for how negative this is to a child's formation and long-term well being, one wonders why so many Christian women and men supported and continue to support such a nihilistic anti-biblical paradigm.

What are the consequences of raising a large percentage of an entire generation apart from their fathers? The first wave which passed through from the early 1980's to the early 1990's gave social scientists a wealth of new empirical data to study and their results clearly show that fatherlessness is not good for children nor society.

As the research report titled 'The Rise and Fall of American Youth violence: 1980 to 2000' states:

"Indeed, the United States experienced sharply growing rates of juvenile violence during the 1980's and early 1990s. If these trends had continued, it would have caused a national crisis. The number of juvenile arrests for Violent Index offenses (i.e., murder, forcible rape, robbery, and aggrevataed assault) grew 64 percent between 1980 and 1994. Juvenile arrests for murder jumped 99 percent during that time. The juvenile arrest rate for murder shot up 167 pcercent between 1984 and 1993 alone, from a rate of 5 arrests per 100,000 juveniles to 14 per 100,000."

^ The time period coincides exactly with the first wave of fatherless children produced by the "reforms" implemented by liberal and radical feminists. And, so do the demographics most heavily affected (e.g. African-Americans).

It was brought to heel with authoritarian societal controls that resulted in a quadrupling of the nation's prison system and nature taking its course with respect to aging. But percentage wise, that could be called a "love tap" compared to the percentage of fatherless projected to be born and raised in this nation.

Meaning, of course, that we're not going to simply read about it but observe and experience it first hand in the world around us for the die is already cast and it would take society itself to recast it to avoid whatever's coming.