Hey Everyone,
As I wrote in another post, I recently had some issues with a 20-year-old male here who persistently asking me some very personal questions without ever conversing with me before.
When I wrote that I didn't feel that what he was asking me was appropriate, he wrote back saying that he was a young man looking for a wife and that he wanted me to tell him what kind of woman to marry. "Please," he said, "You are such an intelligent woman. Advise me as you would a son."
I wrote him that there are several other wiser, more experienced women here who DO have children and that he would be much better off asking them (Banana, please forgive me but I told him to PM you.) I am certainly not trying to throw anyone under the bus, but I figured that if his questions were sincere, you'd have a lot better advice to give him. And if his motives aren't so pure (because the implication and nature of his questions were very sexual), I know you'll put an end to any riff raff faster than it takes to cook up a good Mooseburger.
However, this whole situation also made me take an honest look in the mirror. I'm getting older. And it's quite possible that a young person in the future may want to view me as a parental figure. I don't have children of my own but was very much a mother to an ex's young children. Their own mother had passed away, and so for a few years, I was all they knew, and I failed miserably in pretty much every area.
I. Am. Not. Comfortable At All. With the thought of someone seeing me as a Mom to them. It doesn't mean I wouldn't feel completely honored by this privilege or that I wouldn't love them with all my heart, but I am much more comfortable in the role of Auntie or Big Sister, and that's how I would ask them to see me, if possible.
To me, the role of "mother" or "father" is so sacred and so hard-earned... that I just don't feel at all right about stepping into that role or title without having earned it myself. But I also realize, God may have other plans, and at some point, there are others He may very well want me to be a "mother" to.
However, as I said, unless it was a very young child, or God worked out some major changes in my heart, I would forever plead to be seen as an aunt or sister, regardless of whether it was a young man or young woman.
What do the rest of you think about being seen as a "Mom" or "Dad" to someone else?
Everyone is welcome to post--I realize that for those of you who are parents already, it probably won't seem like a big deal.
But I am especially interested to hear from those who have ran into situations in which someone HAS wanted to see you as a surrogate or substitute parent--and how you have responded.
As I wrote in another post, I recently had some issues with a 20-year-old male here who persistently asking me some very personal questions without ever conversing with me before.
When I wrote that I didn't feel that what he was asking me was appropriate, he wrote back saying that he was a young man looking for a wife and that he wanted me to tell him what kind of woman to marry. "Please," he said, "You are such an intelligent woman. Advise me as you would a son."
I wrote him that there are several other wiser, more experienced women here who DO have children and that he would be much better off asking them (Banana, please forgive me but I told him to PM you.) I am certainly not trying to throw anyone under the bus, but I figured that if his questions were sincere, you'd have a lot better advice to give him. And if his motives aren't so pure (because the implication and nature of his questions were very sexual), I know you'll put an end to any riff raff faster than it takes to cook up a good Mooseburger.
However, this whole situation also made me take an honest look in the mirror. I'm getting older. And it's quite possible that a young person in the future may want to view me as a parental figure. I don't have children of my own but was very much a mother to an ex's young children. Their own mother had passed away, and so for a few years, I was all they knew, and I failed miserably in pretty much every area.
I. Am. Not. Comfortable At All. With the thought of someone seeing me as a Mom to them. It doesn't mean I wouldn't feel completely honored by this privilege or that I wouldn't love them with all my heart, but I am much more comfortable in the role of Auntie or Big Sister, and that's how I would ask them to see me, if possible.
To me, the role of "mother" or "father" is so sacred and so hard-earned... that I just don't feel at all right about stepping into that role or title without having earned it myself. But I also realize, God may have other plans, and at some point, there are others He may very well want me to be a "mother" to.
However, as I said, unless it was a very young child, or God worked out some major changes in my heart, I would forever plead to be seen as an aunt or sister, regardless of whether it was a young man or young woman.
What do the rest of you think about being seen as a "Mom" or "Dad" to someone else?
Everyone is welcome to post--I realize that for those of you who are parents already, it probably won't seem like a big deal.
But I am especially interested to hear from those who have ran into situations in which someone HAS wanted to see you as a surrogate or substitute parent--and how you have responded.
