Just being honest - it's easy to get bitter, being single, on e-harmony

[thecreationtutor]

So sure, I have a profile on e-harmony, I live in a small area, not a lot of Christians in the area, trying to find a wife. It is kind of frustrating, I wish I was better looking, i suppose, or maybe i should become bulimic or something to lose weight

It is pretty crappy, thy look at your profile, you send a hello, and then they block out their profile to you - don't look at my profile then

I feel like, I should totally lose a bunch of weight then become a big ____ hole to women, or just put fake photos just to bling right in your face lol

Ugh - I give up, - i can't even find friends, no matter how I try

But at least i have my truck

 

[Jacob_Fitzgerald]

But at least i have my truck

Hey, I say something like that

It's just me and the truck

 

[thecreationtutor]

lol Trucks don't have feelings, and don't reject you based on your looks

 

[CatHerder]

I have cats. They reject me all the time. But not based on my looks...they are just fuzzy little jerks.

But they keep me humble.

 

[JesusLives]

Check out Lonely Lady In The Big City thread her name is Heather01...Got anything against long distance relationships?
Or try this thread Lowering Your Standards thread Rebecca2188 - she feels lonely and rejected.....Just trying to help out here I was I was captured on this site and I wasn't trying.....who knows - lonely souls break my heart......good luck.

 

[JesusLives]

I have cats. They reject me all the time. But not based on my looks...they are just fuzzy little jerks.

But they keep me humble.

You must not have rubbed them the right way....lol Independent little creatures they are.....

 

[thecreationtutor]

You must not have rubbed them the right way....lol Independent little creatures they are.....

Hmm if you know anyone in around middle florida - hook a brotha up

 

[secularhermit]

Oh, no sir!

Allow me to say this, as "assuming" my own responsibility, resuming as if people (not I) were guilty of my own conditios, limitations or civil/social state:

If I was handsome, I wasn´t getting money enough.

If I was rich, I wasn´t sexy or nice-looking.

If I was nice looking, I lacked sex appeal or anything a lady would like in her bed.

If I was romantic, If I fell deeply in love for her, I lacked the Chemistry she´s longing for, after she became old and got more than 5 kids, and wants a marriage bed she never knew when she was in her 30-40.

If I was tall, strong and nice looking, she was so used to cheating (with her 2nd best) (or 3rd best).

Nonsense brother!

I (just me) would always "add" a failure to a blessing and, during this last 5 years I have seen: 1) Love is a blessing. 2) Marriage is a double/triple portion of blessings I´m not in conditions to get when I DON´T have it (and when I had it, I wasn´t completely happy) because nobody is perfect, except God.

 

[tourist]

Hmm if you know anyone in around middle florida - hook a brotha up

I used to live in Orlando, Florida but now I live in Clearwater, Florida. I will see what I can do.

 

[jaybird88]

those dating sites are mostly a waste of time. i can get a date standing in line at the dollar store but get me on one of those sites and its wayyyy tougher. im old school and i like the real world when it comes to meeting ladies. find the biggest churches in ur area and visit a different one every wed.

 

[secularhermit]

lol Trucks don't have feelings, and don't reject you based on your looks

Ha! Ha!

As long as you oiled it and buy it some gasoline.

he! He!

 

[secularhermit]

those dating sites are mostly a waste of time. i can get a date standing in line at the dollar store but get me on one of those sites and its wayyyy tougher. im old school and i like the real world when it comes to meeting ladies. find the biggest churches in ur area and visit a different one every wed.

I would not say that!

I have met PERSONALLY more women online (internationally) than when I was used to meet people my own city (now I live in a town, because I don´t like city people).

 

[secularhermit]

"The biggest Churches" you said?

I thought it was a place to worship God (not my human being).

Ha! Ha!

 

[GaryA]

I have cats. They reject me all the time. But not based on my looks...they are just fuzzy little jerks.

But they keep me humble.

You must not have rubbed them the right way....lol Independent little creatures they are.....

Let's see... fuzzy little jerks... rubbed together...

Lotsa Static!

POP!!

MEOW!!!



Oh - you didn't mean "rub them together" - did you...?

Oh, well...

 

[LionEyes]

...trying to find a wife.

Sure, marriage can be your end goal. But how about try a coffee date first?

So what does your profile say? What are you saying to the other members? What sort of women are you messaging?

 

[gypsygirl]

if you want to write something with the intention of venting your frustration, i understand that. and maybe it's not fair that you're not getting a lot of interest, but there is probably something you can do about that.

i don't know what your health situation is, but health matters. why wouldn't a woman care about that? for me, health is kind of a big deal. the idea of you joking about being a bulimic to lose weight isn't terribly funny--and sort of tells me that you might have your priorities messed up, because health isn't just a scale number. health is a reflection of a holistic condition.

here's something to think about. do you believe that you deserve to be with a healthy woman? emotionally? spiritually? physically?

the fact is, most of those women have options, and what they're looking for healthy. confident, and secure. someone who is grateful, happy, and values himself as evidenced by the effort/care taken to be a good steward with the most important resource you'll ever have -- your body.

i'm sure there are women who will accept less, but you'll need to change your expectations. i apologize if this sounds harsh, as it's not my intention to offend, but to be helpful. : )

finally, i would ask a couple female friends to review your profile. someone who knows you well and can possibly help you refine it to reflect an accurate, yet positive reflection. i have seen a handful of guy's profiles, and some of them read as depressed or downtrodden. even verging on pitiable.

i think intention was to sound modest, but it reads as "woe is me". and women aren't attracted to a negative, insecure, or anything that sounds like a "feel sorry for me" tone. this may not be your problem at all, but it could be a real problem if it is.

also, stop worrying about the numbers. big deal if you haven't had a lot of success. how many women are you really looking for in the end?

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

When I was on eHarmony, I was most drawn to pictures that showed character and humor. I will never forget one profile picture of a man sitting in a huge field of red tulips with just his head popping out. It didn't matter what he looked like or how much he weighed. The adorable humor of the situation was what charmed me. What kind of guy crawls into a field of tulips and gets his picture taken? I wanted to know.

Once someone sees a profile picture that captivates them in that way, they click on it and see an individual that they want to get to know better. So start with a fun, quirky photo that shows your personality and charm. Then fill your profile pages with interesting and unusual facts about yourself. Stuff that makes you stand out from the rest of the crowd, and be remembered.

List books that you've read which show your individual interests and doctrinal beliefs. The one time I ever initiated contact with a man, it was because I saw a set of books listed in his profile that I loved and had on my own bookshelves. (Some of them were sci-fi and some were Matt Chandler and various theologians that I had read and respected.)

You need to cater your profile not to just draw in a woman, but to draw in THE woman who is going to share your passions and interests. Twenty women may slide on by and that's fine... You don't want them. You want the one who shares your love for that one random TV show, or loves to go on hikes in the rain just like you, or has always dreamed of building a house out of legos.

Have fun with it! Women will want to be part of that.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Check out Lonely Lady In The Big City thread her name is Heather01...Got anything against long distance relationships?
Or try this thread Lowering Your Standards thread Rebecca2188 - she feels lonely and rejected.....Just trying to help out here I was I was captured on this site and I wasn't trying.....who knows - lonely souls break my heart......good luck.

Darlene, you should go start a matchmaking business.

 

[zeroturbulence]

When I was on eHarmony, I was most drawn to pictures that showed character and humor. I will never forget one profile picture of a man sitting in a huge field of red tulips with just his head popping out. It didn't matter what he looked like or how much he weighed. The adorable humor of the situation was what charmed me. What kind of guy crawls into a field of tulips and gets his picture taken? I wanted to know.

Once someone sees a profile picture that captivates them in that way, they click on it and see an individual that they want to get to know better. So start with a fun, quirky photo that shows your personality and charm. Then fill your profile pages with interesting and unusual facts about yourself. Stuff that makes you stand out from the rest of the crowd, and be remembered.

List books that you've read which show your individual interests and doctrinal beliefs. The one time I ever initiated contact with a man, it was because I saw a set of books listed in his profile that I loved and had on my own bookshelves. (Some of them were sci-fi and some were Matt Chandler and various theologians that I had read and respected.)

You need to cater your profile not to just draw in a woman, but to draw in THE woman who is going to share your passions and interests. Twenty women may slide on by and that's fine... You don't want them. You want the one who shares your love for that one random TV show, or loves to go on hikes in the rain just like you, or has always dreamed of building a house out of legos.

Have fun with it! Women will want to be part of that.

Is that what the 29 dimensions of compatibility are about?

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Is that what the 29 dimensions of compatibility are about?

I actually had to google that, haha. I believe that's what they use to find matches for you. But even after presenting you with matches, you have the option to weed out the ones you don't believe are a good fit for you.

I hope men doesn't take that as rejection though. I got "blocked" sometimes, and I blocked others sometimes, just trying to narrow down sometimes overwhelming choices. One man lists that he wants kids, and I don't want to have anymore children, so he isn't a good fit for me. It has nothing to do with his personality though... just that we wouldn't match very well. Stuff like that. It's hard sometimes not to take things personally, but in reality - at that point - it's NOT personal.