So confused :(

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sportygirl

Guest
#1
#1
So i recently went through a break-up. He was a good christian guy, yes we made some mistakes and honestly we hit a point where neither of us were in the relationship for the right reasons anymore. I've accepted a lot of things in hte past month and especially the past two weeks, but more keeps coming up. And I have no one to talk to about it here really, cause im really not supposed to. Here's the thing he may have broken up with me for his roomate (the entire time we were dating he had lived in a house with two guys one of which is his brother and one girl who he considered to be like a sister and vise versa). Well now ive heard from good sources that they are at least interested in each other, although right now she is just helping him with his brokeness, but i dont know how to handle i move on then here tehy were sitting close to each other on a bench, or whatever.

It also makes me think back to all the time they spent together when we were dating and how sometimes he just wanted to stay home. Im not thinking he ever cheated on me or thought about it even its just that i guess i think living with the opposiite gender is bad. And i dont know how to deal, we've only been apart two weeks i feel like its too early to move on for either of us.
 
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greatkraw

Guest
#2
#2
take lots of time
the only rason for reflecting on the past is to learn from it
make sure you get to the point where you forgive him and forgive yourself
none of this will happen quickly
lean on God
 
Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#3
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#3
sportygirl said:
So i recently went through a break-up. He was a good christian guy, yes we made some mistakes and honestly we hit a point where neither of us were in the relationship for the right reasons anymore. I've accepted a lot of things in hte past month and especially the past two weeks, but more keeps coming up. And I have no one to talk to about it here really, cause im really not supposed to. Here's the thing he may have broken up with me for his roomate (the entire time we were dating he had lived in a house with two guys one of which is his brother and one girl who he considered to be like a sister and vise versa). Well now ive heard from good sources that they are at least interested in each other, although right now she is just helping him with his brokeness, but i dont know how to handle i move on then here tehy were sitting close to each other on a bench, or whatever.

It also makes me think back to all the time they spent together when we were dating and how sometimes he just wanted to stay home. Im not thinking he ever cheated on me or thought about it even its just that i guess i think living with the opposiite gender is bad. And i dont know how to deal, we've only been apart two weeks i feel like its too early to move on for either of us.
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a few years ago My girlfriend and I had a bad breakup. A lot of things happened to kind of get in the way. Some was my fault, some was hers. Looking back at it from 8 years later and constanly analyzing what happened and why I have come to a lot of conclusions, the biggest is that we are both far better off as we are now than if we had gotten married (Which was the plan). She's married I guess happily and I'm still single. Things just didn't work out the way we expected, but they are better. I think we'd have killed each other if we'd gotten married or at the very least wound up very unhappy. Neither of us was ready for marriage at the time. The best part is I get to try again hopefully not making the same mistakes again.

From what you've written, you may be better off without him. It doesn't seem like it right now, but you will find someone who is the right fit. Stay strong and focus on God. As far as I am concerned there is no such thing as a wasted relationship unless you learn nothing from it. So, go over it in your mind, poke holes, contemplate and learn about yourself. Talk about it with friends or family who are willing to listen. That helps immensely. My question would be why aren't you supposed to talk about it?

Just my two cents.
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#4
#4
Its the part about his roomate im not really supposed to talk about, a mutual friend confided that to me and it was between her and the roomate so it was nice to hear, but I cant really start rumors among our group of friends because that wouldnt be fair to either of us.
 
Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#5
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#5
sportygirl said:
Its the part about his roomate im not really supposed to talk about, a mutual friend confided that to me and it was between her and the roomate so it was nice to hear, but I cant really start rumors among our group of friends because that wouldnt be fair to either of us.
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I can see why that might be a problem. Perhaps you can leave the room mate out of it when you talk. Believe me talking does help.
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#6
#6
I do talk about it leaving out teh roomate part, but its that i kind of wanted on an opinion on and wanted to talk about in this post, and as i said i ahve no one else to turn to for that. for obvious reasons, I dont completly know what is going on between teh two of them even now.
 
Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#7
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#7
Just don't make the mistake of reading more into the situation than you know. All you'll accomplish is to make yourself feel worse. I've been there. In my case however the truth wound up worse than I had imagined. My ex gave to another guy something she swore she would only give her husband. And it was in the most disgusting manner possible. I have to say though I'm glad I found out what kind of person she was before we got married. I'm not really good at the emotional thing, so I apologize if I'm not helping. Just remember, you are not to blame for anything that may or may not have happened. Don't get caught in the blame circle. Whatever happened none of it is your fault. There is nothing you could have done or did do to cause the situation.
 
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