Is it okay for men to cry?

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Is it okay for men to cry?


  • Total voters
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Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#1
I wonder if it is manly for men to cry.

Personally, I think it is okay for men to cry once in a while when things get difficult. Men also have emotions. They also deal with problems, frustrations, losses, disappointments and pain. Hence, I feel that it is okay for them to cry.

What do you guys think about this?

Question for the women:
Do you think it is unmanly for men to cry?
If someone you know very well cries, how would you react? (Comfort him, leave him alone, smack him across his face, etc.)


Question for the men:
Do you think it is unmanly for men to cry?
How would you react if your guy friend/brother cries? (Step away awkwardly, pretend you don't know him, comfort him, etc.)
On a personal note, have you ever cried recently? (Feel free to ignore this question if it is too sensitive for you)
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#2
This question is so hurtful it made me cry.

I have nothing else to say.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
33
#3
I am a woman and I think it's okay for men to cry.

I, myself, am a crier. I hate it. I cry when I'm mad, sad, laughing, watching a sad movie, etc. I think my whole family is a family of criers, my poor brother-in-law is not so it's always funny to see him squirm when we (mainly the girls) cry in a movie or because we're happy.

(I don't cry ALL THE TIME but it's fairly easy for me TO cry, if that makes sense. Which is a pain since I hate crying in front of people)

But, I'll tell you this. When my brother cries or especially when my dad cries, it either melts my heart (such as when my dad is praying over someone) or shatters it (when they are upset) more so than seeing anyone else cry. I guess because I know they don't do it as much and I don't know... They are still manly and strong to me. And maybe that's why it touches my heart more?

Anyway. I'm all about the crying, ha.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
#4
I know the answer to this, but I'm gonna let someone else post it. If it doesn't get posted by the end of the night, I'll post it.
 

JonahLynx

Senior Member
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
30
48
#5
Jesus, David, and (if I'm not mistaken) Moses cried. So I'd say a man crying isn't something to be ridiculed or scoffed at. But it greatly depends on what you are crying about. I've only been in one situation after grade school where a male friend was crying, and it was for a pretty serious reason that I won't say. Being in a similar situation, I would just ask what was up and let him vent. All that warm-huggy-comfort stuff should come from a female (IMHO), guys just need to be there to listen, agree, and provide advice.

I've only cried twice since childhood - once after a horrible car accident and once after the news of the Sandy Hook shooting.
 
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Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#7
Here is my response -

I think it is okay for a man to cry; crying does not make a man unmanly one bit.

My reaction to another man crying would depend on the proximity of my relationship with him. If he is a close friend who I have hugged before, then I would hug him and offer him a shoulder to cry on. If he is an acquaintance it would be "Hey, it's going to be okay. Do you wish to talk about it?" offer from me.

I must confess that I have cried recently. I break down when things get too difficult to handle or when I am overwhelmed by the love of God. I rarely cry over a loss, except when it gets too difficult to handle..
I can spot a reductio ad absurdum there!
 

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
#8
I put "It depends" because I have a tendency to play Timmy Technical a little too much.

In general, it is absolutely okay for men to cry. It's a fantastic alternative to bottling it up and releasing it as anger at some point. I don't tend to be much of a cryer except when it comes to really deep personal or spiritual matters, so there have actually been points in my life where I wished that I could just have a cry about something because I knew it would make me feel better. And then there was one time when I actually had what I think was kind of a panic attack and literally couldn't stop a hard, ugly cry for like 15 minutes. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It goes along with feeling certain emotions, and it's actually kind of an amazing physiological process too with the way your face gets flush and your eyes pour out tears and all that.

With that said, I chose the option I did because I could see there being a rare occasion where a guy is crying unnecessarily and I'd at least want to be like, "Come on, bro, get it together." lol. But I think that would generally be a rare occurrence.
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
#9
I wonder if it is manly for men to cry.

Personally, I think it is okay for men to cry once in a while when things get difficult. Men also have emotions. They also deal with problems, frustrations, losses, disappointments and pain. Hence, I feel that it is okay for them to cry.

What do you guys think about this?

Question for the women:
Do you think it is unmanly for men to cry?
If someone you know very well cries, how would you react? (Comfort him, leave him alone, smack him across his face, etc.)


Question for the men:
Do you think it is unmanly for men to cry?
How would you react if your guy friend/brother cries? (Step away awkwardly, pretend you don't know him, comfort him, etc.)
On a personal note, have you ever cried recently? (Feel free to ignore this question if it is too sensitive for you)

I say, yes, it is okay for men to cry. God wouldn't have created tear ducts on a man if men weren't meant to use them.

Over using them, I have an issue with. There are some things that are just not worth crying over, and if a man starts to get as emotional as a woman in that aspect (like crying once or twice a week, and over smallish things)...I'd say that there is an issue.

But here's the thing.

When a man experiences so much joy and gratefulness in his heart he can't contain it, why shouldn't he cry? When a man has experienced great loss, why shouldn't he? If he was under a ton of stress, why shouldn't he be given the permission to break down and cry? I mean, what harm is there in crying?

I don't like to cry, and I can feel awkward around people crying, male or female, but why should that stop a man (or anyone) from crying?
 
J

Jacob_Fitzgerald

Guest
#12
I rarely cry. Sometimes tears well up in my eyes out of joy, but it never really turns into crying. I have cried at the loss of a loved one, or when I felt forsaken by God.
The American culture doesn’t seem very accepting of men who cry, I think this is the reason why I have learned not to cry, and when I do cry it is in private.
I admit that I grew up working on a ranch, and you were expected to cowboy up no matter how you felt.

I would not consider it unmanly to cry.

When a guy friend or a relative cries, it is usually very serious. The men in my life don’t cry for little reasons. When they do cry, I get uncomfortable and prefer to let them cry in privacy. I do this because that’s how I want other men to treat me when I cry.
 
G

Gandalf

Guest
#13
I don't cry. crying shows weakness.
My dad is the same and the bad thing about him is it turned him into somebody that can't even say I love you to his family. Normally there is hurt in people like that and if you are one of them I would suggest that you get help because the kicker is real men can cry... (just my opinion :) )

As for me, I cry like a three legged lab rat when we are watching movies (The blind side - when the lead character told Sandra Bullock that he never had a bed before, Cinderella Man - when I saw how difficult it was for the kids and I pictured my own boy).
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#14
I rarely cry. Sometimes tears well up in my eyes out of joy, but it never really turns into crying. I have cried at the loss of a loved one, or when I felt forsaken by God.
The American culture doesn’t seem very accepting of men who cry, I think this is the reason why I have learned not to cry, and when I do cry it is in private.
I admit that I grew up working on a ranch, and you were expected to cowboy up no matter how you felt.
That's a wonderful point. Men are conditioned to be strong and brave, hence crying is out of the question for them. In India, most cultures (I say culture because we are a union of various languages and races) forbid men from crying. There are some where even women are not allowed to cry before men. Such practices exist even in this day and age.

But I think the trend is slowly changing. It is becoming acceptable for men to cry. Some celebrities have cried in public (Roger Federer at the Wimbledon, etc.). But I agree with you, by and large, most cultures do not permit men to cry as they perceive it to be a sign of weakness.
 
C

cmarieh

Guest
#15
I don't think there is anything wrong with a man crying. Although, it is hard to watch. I only have seen my dad cry about three to four times in my life, the first time he teared up is when I graduated from High School and most recently when my grandpa passed away. It is hard to watch a man cry because it makes me cry harder. There is nothing wrong with a man shedding tears because after all Jesus did weep.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#16
Coming to think of it, it would be braver for a man to cry than to bottle up his emotions and pretend to be okay. :)
 

gypsygirl

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#17
i kind of feel sorry for any guy who feels as though crying isn't an option.

i'd prefer someone who cries occasionally rather than someone who is so numb or bottled up that he feels unable to express his emotions. God created emotions, and the only real weakness i can think of is someone who feels as though his pride dictates that he should somehow be above them.

i think it's pretty attractive that a guy is secure enough in himself to not worry too much what the world thinks or what someone might say. that kind of confidence is really alluring. : )
 
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djness

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
502
13
18
#18
If you don't cry there is something wrong with you. Yes, I said it.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#19
I wonder if it is manly for men to cry.

Personally, I think it is okay for men to cry once in a while when things get difficult. Men also have emotions. They also deal with problems, frustrations, losses, disappointments and pain. Hence, I feel that it is okay for them to cry.

What do you guys think about this?

Question for the women:
Do you think it is unmanly for men to cry?
If someone you know very well cries, how would you react? (Comfort him, leave him alone, smack him across his face, etc.)


Question for the men:
Do you think it is unmanly for men to cry?
How would you react if your guy friend/brother cries? (Step away awkwardly, pretend you don't know him, comfort him, etc.)
On a personal note, have you ever cried recently? (Feel free to ignore this question if it is too sensitive for you)
No, it's manly to cry for good reasons (eg. not over spilling milk or something similar).
I would comfort my close friend/brother etc. if he were crying. Give them space for a bit, listen to them if they talk, pray for them, maybe with them, pat their back, when they're ready for a hug, I'd give them a hug.

Yes, I cried a lot last Wednesday night and some on Thursday night in response to some difficult things going on in my life at the moment. There was a lot of emotional and spiritual hurt and exhaustion and God did a great work in me.

I would go so far as to say that I find it dishonest and a little saddening when people don't ever cry or cry but only in private. I'm not saying we should all cry our eyes out in public (we'd start a worldwide flood!) but there's something to be said for being real in loving community with family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ. Personally, I wear my heart on my sleeve and it's difficult to realise that not everyone's like that. Something I have to respect I guess. Still, I encourage men to cry when the time arises.
 
May 18, 2010
931
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#20
A man who doesn't cry is not very passionate, nor does he fully understand sorrow. Real men of the bible cry.
 
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