Ideas for Meeting Other Christian Singles

DurbaDerg · Jan 23, 2015

Hey everyone,
This is my first forum post, so I figured I'd give it a try. I'm a single, mid-20's guy and I'm wanting to get myself out there a little more in terms of dating. I've only had 2 relationships in my life and it's been a few years since the last one. The church I attend (and work in) is an older congregation with no other people my age. So, here's my question: does anyone have any tips, advice, or ideas on how to meet other Christian singles?
Thanks

tourist · Jan 23, 2015

I believe that this site is a good place to meet other like-minded Christian singles. I recommend that you integrate yourself in the community first and write a few post to paint a picture of where you have been, who you are now, and where that you hope to go in the future. My advice is to just be yourself and pray to God for guidance.

DurbaDerg · Jan 23, 2015

Thanks, tourist, however what I'm really looking for is advice on meeting other Christian singles in my town. I'm cool with meeting people on here, too, but my primary goal is to meet people in real life. I appreciate the post!

secularhermit · Jan 23, 2015

CC chat rooms?

But, if I were your town, I would go several places other than a church: Live meetings are better than online to know "myself" well.

No college there to interact with people your age/beliefs?

DurbaDerg · Jan 23, 2015

There are a couple small colleges in my area, including my alma-mater, but I'm not on campus anymore. I'm about a half hour away from my alma-mater, anyway. I'm looking for ideas on meeting people in the community and town I live in.

rachelsedge · Jan 23, 2015

You know what, DurbaDerg, it really is hard. I'm also mid-20s, working full time. I'm not into the bar scene at all, I'm not athletic so I can't join some sort of sports team, I'm shy, and I don't want to make church or small groups a "gotta find a man" focus, so I hesitate in saying "Go to churches or find a small group." I mean, if you found someone through that, that's great, but it shouldn't be the main focus of going.

Maybe just be open. If you have friends who invite you somewhere or to an event, even if you feel like staying in, maybe go because you never know who else will be there or who you'll meet and how your social circle will be expanded. Enjoy what you like to do and see who else enjoys it with you (painting classes, going to basketball games, etc.).

Other than that, I have no idea. If you're wanting specific areas full of Christian singles, the only thing I can think of is a dating website/app. Other than that, I'm not quite so sure they all congregate somewhere unless it's a church "Singles" group.

Lynx · Jan 23, 2015

If I'm not at home I'm at work. If I'm not at work I'm at a friend's house. If I'm not at a friend's house I'm at church.

You probably won't meet people by going door to door, so at home and at a friend's house won't work. And you might not want to make the rounds of the local factories saying, "Hey, I'm looking for some single christian ladies to date." Soooo.... where does that leave?

tourist · Jan 23, 2015

DurbaDerg said:

Perhaps the girl behind the counter at your local 7/Eleven? Strike up a conversation with her when you are paying for your Big Gulp and give her your phone number. It will be most helpful if you have no fear of rejection and to be assertive in your approach.

gypsygirl · Jan 23, 2015

gee, i don't know if you're extroverted or introverted, but by your question, i'm guessing you're the latter.

i would recommend not "looking for someone" as much as just getting involved in activities, especially ones that feature your best qualities and inspire you to really be the best version of you.

for example, if you love sports and competition, get involved in a co-ed sports team, if there's any available. join a climbing class. do things that are going to put you in the vicinity of women.

if you love to learn, take some class out of the rec center, like learning a new hobby, skill or ability. i'm thinking of art, cooking, etc. go to a lecture series.

and this goes on. for example, i've met lots of friends and potential guys through volunteering. i wasn't there to meet guys but it did give me a chance to get to know some in a very low pressure way. i'm not saying vounteer for the purpose of meeting women, but volunteer out of a desire to serve, and recognize that it could lead to meeting others.

the same for visiting another church. get involved in a great bible study at another church. you'll make friends while you're growing together.

that's another thing - i would never focus on just guys when i go someplace. far from it. i spend as much energy getting to know the women as i do the guys. you just never know what could spring from any connection. and i sort of believe love is what happens when you're busy living your life and making connections. : )

because i realized recently that almost every guy i've gone out with i met through living my life, not in a deliberate manner to "meet someone", which is why i personally hate the eharmony love thing. it seems so inorganic and forced. like i'm shopping for love. or someone is going to stand at the shelf and go, "hmmmm... maybe i'd like that. interesting. ok, let me haul this up the the cash register. "

Lynx · Jan 23, 2015

Oh well.

*Lynx climbs down off the shelf and wanders off to find something else to do.

Siberian_Khatru · Jan 23, 2015

DurbaDerg said:

Maybe them older Christian folk at your current church have young'ns that are ripe for the proverbial plucking.

Lynx · Jan 23, 2015

Jesting aside, gypsygirl is right. Get out and do stuff. Volunteer at the local animal shelter - anyone you meet there probably likes animals, and an animal person can't be all that bad. Go rollerblading or biking around town. Walk your dog at the local park. Do SOMETHING, just get out of the house.

And don't go out for the purpose of looking for a date. Go out looking for life, wherever you find it. As Calvin said to Hobbes in the last C&H comic, "It's a magical world, Hobbes ol' buddy. Let's go exploring!"

JesusLives · Jan 23, 2015

I was in Gaithersburg, MD for a week on a business trip and I set a goal to meet 7 different men on this trip. The rules were simple I would get their name and have a brief conversation that was it with no expectations. By guy #7 (Carlos), he asked me out to dinner and we started seeing each other for the rest of the week.

All I did was say Hi I'm JesusLives what is your name? I was staying at a hotel with other co-workers all being trained at the same business conference. So I would ask are you here on business or vacation?

Carlos was there also on business and we had a really good time having dinner a few times and rented a canoe and went out on the Potomac River and then later he was living in New Orleans and I was in Florida he came once and visited me in Florida, but it was not meant to be and I let him go.

But I learned that if you are just friendly and have no expectations that you might surprise yourself with the results of a brief conversation and friendship. Just a thought. You might give it a try. I was just myself and friendly.

Reborn · Jan 23, 2015

DurbaDerg said:

Walking up and just saying "hi" to a girl,..... has always proven to be an effective first tactic in 'meeting' Christian singles, .....for me at least?

Sadly,.... it's all of the proceeding words that fall out of my mouth after the initial "hi", that keeps me in that constant "meeting" phase of life. Never mind. I have no true wisdom on the subject here......I will keep you posted.

Actually...when you find something...keep me posted!

Lynx · Jan 23, 2015

Being yourself and being friendly also works at the mall. Find a bench and sit down. With so many coming and going a conversation will start. You don't have to start one, they just happen.

I was on a Youth Retreat trip with a bunch of the church youth group, and they just HAD to go to the mall while we were there. I took one trip around the whole mall and saw nothing I wanted to buy, so I sat down. This nice elderly lady happened to sit down beside me. There was a little kids train ride, the "Santa Express" wending its way through the mall, and the lady started singing "I hear that train a'coming, coming round the curve..." I happened to know that song so I started singing with her. We finished the song in grand style, and then started talking about music. An enjoyable conversation I thought. Of course I didn't ask her out for a date, as I was too young for her... But if I had stayed there long enough I probably would have found a date.

Kham · Jan 23, 2015

That's it, im going on a train trip.

Lynx · Jan 23, 2015

Kham said:

Or that. You can meet people anywhere there are people to meet.

I was at the hospital one time (my sister had cancer) and I popped down to the cafeteria to get a bite. I went back up to the third floor and sat in the waiting room to eat it. A group of people was sitting there talking, and one of them said, "Hey, what ya eating?"

I said, "Lasagna..." Then I thought about it and said, "But you know, it's strange that a hospital would serve lasagna. It's almost like they're trying to drum up business for their cardiac wing. 'Here you go, hope you enjoy it... see you soon!'"

Of course a date did not result from this conversation - there was nobody eligible in that group. But I enjoyed that, and the conversation that ensued from it.

DurbaDerg · Jan 23, 2015

gypsygirl said:

Yeah, you're right. Typically I lean more towards introversion. I'm an only child so I enjoy my time by myself, but, now that I live on my own and don't have many friends in town I would like to meet other people my age. There aren't any people my age at my church and since I'm the youth minister I can't just go to another church, unless the small group would meet on a different time then when I'm "working."

DurbaDerg · Jan 23, 2015

rachelsedge said:

Good thoughts! I'm not in to the bar scene much either. I've gone to the local Wings restaurant a couple times and sat at the bar, but since I don't drink I feel rather out of place. And I love the idea of taking some classes or hobby things. Those would be really fun. Only problem then is finding something I'm interested in AND isn't expensive. lol

G4JC · Jan 23, 2015

I'd suggest trying "MeetUp" and finding people doing things related to your interests near you.
Note: I've never met any girls this way, but it's a good way to find more people with mancaves and hobbies similar to yours.
I assume most girls are anti-social and hibernate indoors, the only ones that are out and about are mom's with their kids.

Edit: Oh yah and on above post, I hate the bar scene. Some guys I know claim there are girls there, but quite frankly they are bar flies waiting to marry and divorce you for the money. Anyone who I'd be looking for would NOT be seen at a bar, even for so called "social drinking".

Anyways... that's my thoughts. You guys get better ideas be sure to let us all know. xD

Ideas for Meeting Other Christian Singles

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