Smells in the church!

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Malcyboy

Guest
#1
Just home from service, and i was not amused...why do people feel its acceptable to fart mid-service...i understand its natural body movement, but its discomforting and gag-inducing and distracting.... Can people either... 1. Hold it in or 2. Leave the room :/ my nose and stomach cannot cope with the nastiness ><
 

Addison

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2014
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#2
Perhaps that was their way of blessing you.
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
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#3
It's just plain rude to fart in church. :eek: People should have better manners in church and hold it!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
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#4
*Lynx puts his paws over his nose and hunkers down.

Is this a normal occurrence? Like, every service someone will gas the place out? Or did it just happen this one time?
 

santuzza

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
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#5
Farts are excusable. BO is not. Please shower before attending church, people!
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,327
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#6
SARCASM ALERT SARCASM ALERT

Dear Lord,

Please keep all the stinky, dirty, messed up people out of my church so I can have my comfortable little Sunday morning service and not be bothered. Thanks.

PS. Why don't you ever give me opportunities to serve you?
 
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Malcyboy

Guest
#7
*Lynx puts his paws over his nose and hunkers down.

Is this a normal occurrence? Like, every service someone will gas the place out? Or did it just happen this one time?
common, not always same person but yeah regular concurrence...sure i guess once it might slip out...but today the same person did it multiple times and no sign of apology or embarrasment etc
 
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Malcyboy

Guest
#8
SARCASM ALERT SARCASM ALERT

Dear Lord,

Please keep all the stinky, dirty, messed up people out of my church so I can have my comfortable little Sunday morning service and not be bothered. Thanks.

PS. Why don't you ever give me opportunities to serve you?

Its not so much an issue of people who are lacking hygeine...its an issue of clean people creating smells that are off-putting...If I had an issue with smells I wouldn't do youth work lol, considering most of them are boys who are starting to develop their hormones and therefore sweat a lot and so normally smell of B.O...that doesn't bother, I just find it appropriate to let of gas when you know people around you will suffer due to it...we dont create a scene or a fuss about it to or about the person...they are fully within their rights to pass gas...however manners would suggest not doing among people
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
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#9
My uncle was on a jet one time and he let one that circled the cabin three times. You could track its progress by the reactions. One of my other uncles said, "I would have stood up and claimed that one!"

Yeah, I have some weird uncles.

Personally I always hold it until I get to the bathroom. But some people can't. Not "don't" but they just plain can't. Particularly elders. At the risk of being too graphic... muscles just aren't as tight as they used to be.
 
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Malcyboy

Guest
#10
My uncle was on a jet one time and he let one that circled the cabin three times. You could track its progress by the reactions. One of my other uncles said, "I would have stood up and claimed that one!"

Yeah, I have some weird uncles.

Personally I always hold it until I get to the bathroom. But some people can't. Not "don't" but they just plain can't. Particularly elders. At the risk of being too graphic... muscles just aren't as tight as they used to be.

Yeah weird family man :p

but yeah, i understand some people cannot hold, thats fine and i get that...but this guy is only 50s? I mean perhaps he has muscle issues lol but i just think its nasty doing it in public if you can hold it :/
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
24,999
13,008
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#11
common, not always same person but yeah regular concurrence...sure i guess once it might slip out...but today the same person did it multiple times and no sign of apology or embarrasment etc
During Sunday School class in a church that I previously attended, there was a couple visiting for the first time who sat right in front of my wife and I. While the Sunday School teacher was teaching, the man in front of us leaned forward to pick up his Bible and farted fairly loud, then sat up really fast and didn't move a muscle for the next ten minutes. He obviously slipped up and didn't mean to do it, so nobody harassed him about it, although there were a few chuckles. We never saw them again after that.
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#12
Finally a thread that makes me laugh. Some things never get old. I think I'll be 80 and still laugh at fart jokes. I think it was Confucius who said 'man who farts in church sits in own pew".
 
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MadParrotWoman

Guest
#13
Oh my I nearly died laughing reading this especially the plane one! Thank you for the entertainment Lynx LOL
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#14
The do have filtered underwear now. I think you can get them in mint, spring morning and black licorice.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
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#15
Oh my I nearly died laughing reading this especially the plane one! Thank you for the entertainment Lynx LOL
I am with you- these guys brought me to Blond tears of laughter.....Shout out to Daffy/KenThomas joke....RLOFL.....
 
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inthewind

Guest
#19
I read of churches in past times that use to scatter aromatic plants on the floors in a time when floors were made of packed earth. One such plant was sweet flag.

.The green rush, the green rush, we bear it along,
To the church of our village with triumph and song,
We strew the cold chancel and kneel on it there,
While its fresh odours rise with our voices in prayer.
Hark the peal from the old tower in praise of it rings,
Let us seek the green rush by the green woodland springs.
- Letitia Elizabeth Landon (1802-1838)


Rush bearing festivals in churches are not common today but there might be a new meaning for rush bearing.
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
36,530
13,094
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#20
The do have filtered underwear now. I think you can get them in mint, spring morning and black licorice.

** wonders if mormon magic underwear is scented **