Where's the harm in shacking up?

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Atwood

Senior Member
May 1, 2014
4,995
53
48
#41
1 Cor 7

:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

1 Thes 4


4:1 Finally then, brethren, we beseech and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that, as ye received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, even as ye do walk,— that ye abound more and more. 2 For ye know what charge we gave you through the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye abstain from fornication; 4 that each one of you know how to acquire his own vessel [i.e., wife] in sanctification and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who know not God; 6 that no man transgress, and wrong his brother in the matter: because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as also we forewarned you and testified. 7 For God called us not for uncleanness, but in sanctification. 8 Therefore he that rejecteth, rejecteth not man, but God, who giveth his Holy Spirit unto you.


3 For the lips of a strange woman drop honey,
And her mouth is smoother than oil:


4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.


5 Her feet go down to death;
Her steps take hold on Sheol;


6 So that she findeth not the level path of life:
Her ways are unstable, and she knoweth it not.


7 Now therefore, my sons, hearken unto me,
And depart not from the words of my mouth.


8 Remove thy way far from her,
And come not nigh the door of her house;


9 Lest thou give thine honor unto others,
And thy years unto the cruel;


10 Lest strangers be filled with thy strength,
And thy labors be in the house of an alien,


11 And thou mourn at thy latter end,
When thy flesh and thy body are consumed,


12 And say, How have I hated instruction,
And my heart despised reproof;
13 Neither have I obeyed the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!


14 I was well-nigh in all evil
In the midst of the assembly and congregation.


15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern,
And running waters out of thine own well.


16 Should thy springs be dispersed abroad,
And streams of water in the streets?


17 Let them be for thyself alone,
And not for strangers with thee.


18 Let thy fountain be blessed;
And rejoice in the wife of thy youth.


19 As a loving hind and a pleasant doe,
Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
And be thou ravished always with her love.
20 For why shouldest thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman,
And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?
21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of Jehovah;
And he maketh level all his paths.


22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked,
And he shall be holden with the cords of his sin.


23 He shall die for lack of instruction;
And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.


6:1 My son, if thou art become surety for thy neighbor,
If thou hast stricken thy hands for a stranger;


2 Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth,
Thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.


3 Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself,
Seeing thou art come into the hand of thy neighbor:
Go, humble thyself, and importune thy neighbor;


4 Give not sleep to thine eyes,
Nor slumber to thine eyelids;
5 Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter,
And as a bird from the hand of the fowler.


6 Go to the ant, thou sluggard;
Consider her ways, and be wise:


7 Which having no chief,
Overseer, or ruler,


8 Provideth her bread in the summer,
And gathereth her food in the harvest.


9 How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard?
When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?


10 Yet a little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to sleep:


11 So shall thy poverty come as a robber,
And thy want as an armed man.


12 A worthless person, a man of iniquity,
Is he that walketh with a perverse mouth;
13 That winketh with his eyes, that speaketh with his feet,
That maketh signs with his fingers;


14 In whose heart is perverseness,
Who deviseth evil continually,
Who soweth discord.


15 Therefore shall his calamity come suddenly;
On a sudden shall he be broken, and that without remedy.


16 There are six things which Jehovah hateth;
Yea, seven which are an abomination unto him:


17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood;


18 A heart that deviseth wicked purposes,
Feet that are swift in running to mischief,


19 A false witness that uttereth lies,
And he that soweth discord among brethren.


20 My son, keep the commandment of thy father,
And forsake not the law of thy mother:


21 Bind them continually upon thy heart;
Tie them about thy neck.


22 When thou walkest, it shall lead thee;
When thou sleepest, it shall watch over thee;
And when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.
23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light;
And reproofs of instruction are the way of life:


24 To keep thee from the evil woman,
From the flattery of the foreigner’s tongue.


25 Lust not after her beauty in thy heart;
Neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
26 For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread;
And the adulteress hunteth for the precious life.


27 Can a man take fire in his bosom,
And his clothes not be burned?


28 Or can one walk upon hot coals,
And his feet not be scorched?


29 So he that goeth in to his neighbor’s wife;
Whosoever toucheth her shall not be unpunished.


30 Men do not despise a thief, if he steal
To satisfy himself when he is hungry:


31 But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold;
He shall give all the substance of his house.
32 He that committeth adultery with a woman is void of understanding:
He doeth it who would destroy his own soul.


33 Wounds and dishonor shall he get;
And his reproach shall not be wiped away.


34 For jealousy is the rage of a man;
And he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

If any woman be flirting with the idea of being some man's concubine, let her go & read Judges 19
 

Atwood

Senior Member
May 1, 2014
4,995
53
48
#42
A Story on Shackin', Being a Concubine:

19:1 And it came to pass in those days, when there was no king in Israel, that there was a certain Levite sojourning on the farther side of the hill-country of Ephraim, who took to him a concubine out of Beth-lehem-judah. 2 And his concubine played the harlot against him, and went away from him unto her father’s house to Beth-lehem-judah, and was there the space of four months. 3 And her husband arose, and went after her, to speak kindly unto her, to bring her again, having his servant with him, and a couple of asses: and she brought him into her father’s house; and when the father of the damsel saw him, he rejoiced to meet him. 4 And his father-in-law, the damsel’s father, retained him; and he abode with him three days: so they did eat and drink, and lodged there. 5 And it came to pass on the fourth day, that they arose early in the morning, and he rose up to depart: and the damsel’s father said unto his son-in-law, Strengthen thy heart with a morsel of bread, and afterward ye shall go your way. 6 So they sat down, and did eat and drink, both of them together: and the damsel’s father said unto the man, Be pleased, I pray thee, to tarry all night, and let thy heart be merry. 7 And the man rose up to depart; but his father-in-law urged him, and he lodged there again. 8 And he arose early in the morning on the fifth day to depart; and the damsel’s father said, Strengthen thy heart, I pray thee, and tarry ye until the day declineth; and they did eat, both of them. 9 And when the man rose up to depart, he, and his concubine, and his servant, his father-in-law, the damsel’s father, said unto him, Behold, now the day draweth toward evening, I pray you tarry all night: behold, the day groweth to an end, lodge here, that thy heart may be merry; and to-morrow get you early on your way, that thou mayest go home.


10 But the man would not tarry that night, but he rose up and departed, and came over against Jebus (the same is Jerusalem): and there were with him a couple of asses saddled; his concubine also was with him. 11 When they were by Jebus, the day was far spent; and the servant said unto his master, Come, I pray thee, and let us turn aside into this city of the Jebusites, and lodge in it. 12 And his master said unto him, We will not turn aside into the city of a foreigner, that is not of the children of Israel; but we will pass over to Gibeah. 13 And he said unto his servant, Come and let us draw near to one of these places; and we will lodge in Gibeah, or in Ramah. 14 So they passed on and went their way; and the sun went down upon them near to Gibeah, which belongeth to Benjamin. 15 And they turned aside thither, to go in to lodge in Gibeah: and he went in, and sat him down in the street of the city; for there was no man that took them into his house to lodge.


16 And, behold, there came an old man from his work out of the field at even: now the man was of the hill-country of Ephraim, and he sojourned in Gibeah; but the men of the place were Benjamites. 17 And he lifted up his eyes, and saw the wayfaring man in the street of the city; and the old man said, Whither goest thou? and whence comest thou? 18 And he said unto him, We are passing from Beth-lehem-judah unto the farther side of the hill-country of Ephraim; from thence am I, and I went to Beth-lehem-judah: and I am now going to the house of Jehovah; and there is no man that taketh me into his house. 19 Yet there is both straw and provender for our asses; and there is bread and wine also for me, and for thy handmaid, and for the young man that is with thy servants: there is no want of anything. 20 And the old man said, Peace be unto thee; howsoever let all thy wants lie upon me; only lodge not in the street. 21 So he brought him into his house, and gave the asses fodder; and they washed their feet, and did eat and drink.


22 As they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain base fellows, beset the house round about, beating at the door; and they spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thy house, that we may know him. 23 And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, and said unto them, Nay, my brethren, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that this man is come into my house, do not this folly. 24 Behold, here is my daughter a virgin, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not any such folly. 25 But the men would not hearken to him: so the man laid hold on his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go. 26 Then came the woman in the dawning of the day, and fell down at the door of the man’s house where her lord was, till it was light.


27 And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the house, and went out to go his way; and, behold, the woman his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, with her hands upon the threshold. 28 And he said unto her, Up, and let us be going; but none answered: then he took her up upon the ass; and the man rose up, and gat him unto his place. 29 And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, limb by limb, into twelve pieces, and sent her throughout all the borders of Israel.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,913
8,167
113
#43
Another possibility would be the psychological effect of having the commitment. As an example I enjoy spending a lot of time in my room, but if someone were forcing me to stay in my room, then the only thing I could think about would be getting out. So for some couples it might be they are happy enough together, but making the vows makes them feel trapped and imprisoned in the relationship.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with my father one time. I asked him what do christians do instead of the traditional stag party? Because I can't imagine anyone in our church who is about to get married, going to a party with booze and strippers to celebrate it.

He said, "We don't have parties like that because we don't need one. Stag parties are one last celebration of freedom before being "tied down" to a marriage. We look forward to being married to the lady we love."

That makes sense. I never stopped to think why guys had stag parties to begin with.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#44
This reminds me of a conversation I had with my father one time. I asked him what do christians do instead of the traditional stag party? Because I can't imagine anyone in our church who is about to get married, going to a party with booze and strippers to celebrate it.

He said, "We don't have parties like that because we don't need one. Stag parties are one last celebration of freedom before being "tied down" to a marriage. We look forward to being married to the lady we love."

That makes sense. I never stopped to think why guys had stag parties to begin with.
The bucks parties I've been to are normally along the lines of paint-balling or going to a sports centre or playing golf or something. I haven't been to many (as you can tell).
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#45
Thank you, Cinder. I honestly feel so naive in regards to this (and many other topics). The second reason you gave makes perfect sense and I had some idea that this was the case. The first reason you gave I've never considered, never even wrapped my head around the idea that most women want to be married. It's interesting and insightful to get a different perspective on such things. Thanks.