Does It Always Feel Like You're Living or Waiting For "Someday"?

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

As Christians, we often criticize the world for "living for today". However, I've noticed that in my own Christian life, it often feel like I'm just holding on for a "someday" that always seems too far away.

When I was in my teens and 20's, I used to think, "Well, maybe someday... I'll get married... have a family... raise kids..." And then the years go by... and someday never comes. Yes, I know God can do anything. Yes, I know about Abraham and Sarah having children long past their prime. But the truth is, my ambitions have changed, and I no longer have a desire to raise a family. I'm happier lending support to other parents who are trying to raise their own families.

Because of the situations God has put me in, my sights have now changed. I have a great desire to join and serve in small groups, write letters of support to people, travel as much as possible and talk to all kinds of people about their situations... I see places and causes and activities in the media, in newsletters and on flyers... that I would love to be a part of... But in the back my mind, that old familiar phrase--and piercing twinge of sadness--immediately comes to mind: "Maybe someday..." "OOOHHH, look, a class for pottery or stained glass or crochet!!! Well... maybe someday..." "WOW, this documentary on the UK looks AMAZING!!! Well, maybe someday..." "Lord, I really miss writing inmates but I haven't been able to find a ministry that's a good match for me... Well... maybe someday." "God, I'm really... I mean... I just came home and all I hear are the echoes of my keys as I throw them on the table and it's been like this for years and I'd really like to have someone to talk to but... Well, maybe someday. If it's your will."

And then I always wonder if I should even bother looking at or thinking about such things, because maybe it's just another someday that will never come, and I'm simply wasting (God's) time. I've tried very hard to participate in some things now but as my life currently stands, I am unable to. I have tried to be part of a small group and volunteer team at my church but due to an ever-rotating work schedule, am unable to attend the rehearsals and requirements. And to be perfectly honest, in the leftover time I do have after catching up on everyday life... I'm exhausted.

I often feel as if all I'm living for is a "someday" that, again, may never come, and there is a lot of sadness and emptiness along the way, because I feel like I'm not doing anything, or contributing anything, or even making my own choices in life. The good counsel of "victorious Christian living" tells us that the very pinnacle of our faith as Christians is that "someday" we will get to be with God permanently... and I often tell God, "Lord, is the whole purpose of the Christian life simply living to die? Because that's what it feels like. I know it's your will for us to work and earn a living, but the only sure thing I can count on is dying and being with you. SOMEDAY." Everyone tells us to "share the Gospel with others" and I think to myself, "So... my whole point in living... is telling other people that they too can live of life of trying to strive for a perfection they'll never reach and live long enough to die for a 'someday' in which they, too, can go to heaven..."

To me, at least, life is always about "someday"... which can make all of the "today's", with their never-ending obligations and daily challenges, seem very long and tiresome. I often have thoughts that I could live another 50 years... and in that entire time, I'll always be waiting for "someday's", most of which are completely unknown and certainly not guaranteed.

This passage runs through my mind quite frequently and is something I often pray to God about: Proverbs 13:12 -- "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."

I always tell God, "Lord, how can one truly live when their hope is constantly deferred?"

What about the rest of you? Do you always feel like you're waiting for "someday"? Has your someday never come, or did God eventually change the desires of your heart?

How do you personally cope with always having your hope deferred?

 

[p_rehbein]

May sound silly, but............YES, it does...........Living and Waiting for the return of my Lord and Saviour..........


(ok, ok, yeah, I'm a little excited that the Daytona 500 is Sunday too......... )

NASCAR IS BACK!

 

[Jeff_56]

wait on yahweh. (god). always by faith in yahshua hamashiach (jesus messiah).
(yes, HE ALWAYS CHANGES THE DESIRES OF OUR HEARTS, btw)

yes - waiting sometimes decades .... waiting, waiting, waiting....... more waiting, .........

doing the daily 'chores' (however, learning (if not already doing) to do all the chores JOYOUSLY IN CHRIST, LIKE

SERVING CHRIST IN ALL THINGS, then actually serving CHRIST IN ALL THINGS, YES, GOD DELIGHTED).

waiting, more waiting.... staying always constantly about everything in prayer, always, all day and all night.

(this too takes 'learning' experientially abiding in union with yahshua with all true believers in him;
and "un"learning most of what all the world and the world church teaches(heresy) ).

ephesians, philippians, colossians, hebrews, 1,2,3 john,, 1,2 peter, jude and revelation, daniel, psalms, genesis........
all sources of great joy for little children on their father's knee (sorry so many earthly fathers have utterly failed,
and
learning
the truth about our really really really perfect and good father in heaven may be solar systems harder to realize
if most experience, even all experience, has been growing up seeing only bad fathers.
the
good
and perfect shepherd yahshua (jesus) knows perfect without flaw how to take care of us his sheep ---
we (ekklesia immersed in him) are the sheep of HIS PASTURE
and that
makes all the difference, no matter whether laying down, sitting up, walking, running, or flying on wings of eagles!)

HE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE, while waiting, sleeping, resting, working, pulling, pushing, earning, struggling, escaping, suffering, rejoicing, crying, weeping(for sins), exalting his name ! .....

 

[sassylady]

I don't even know what I hope for anymore except the Lord taking us home. I feel like I have no future, no retirement, no end in sight in my life. I cannot wait to get out of here because there is really nothing in my life that is any fun or a hint of anything better.

 

[Willie-T]

I once felt that way, but I have changed my focus. I honestly do live mainly just for the day,,,,,, and sometimes, just the moment, set before me with each new dawn.

For one thing, I absolutely do not believe in the "escape pod" called The Rapture. I happen to feel that is a poor way to look at Christ's Great Commission............ "Get me outta here, Lord, SOON, so that I do not have to deal with all the dirty people and frustrations you dealt with."

Nor do I think all life on the Earth is going to "end" within a few months or years. Eventually, "Perhaps", but not for a long, long time.

This makes the way I look at things a lot different than I used to. I think it is my (our) duty (or, "call") to try to bring the news of Jesus and the kingdom to at least one person each day, if we can. I don't believe in "Dominionism", but I do believe we can do a lot to have God's will seen right here on Earth, as it is in Heaven.

And sitting around in a little religious huddle, hoping and praying to be "raptured" out of here is not the way I believe that is going to get done.

I am not waiting for some "Great Tribulation" to begin, either, so that I can start a calendar countdown of the "end times." John told us right at the beginning of Revelation that he was, at the time he was writing the book, a "brother and companion in tribulation" that his readers were going through (the worst the world had ever seen, or will ever see, since almost an entire world religion was wiped out in a matter of months)...... and that we have all been going through ever since.... and will continue going through till Jesus returns. IMHO, it should be an embarrassment to be sitting and waiting... hoping and praying for it to come... rather than getting up each morning with an objective to take the kingdom a little bit farther along, hoping and praying for even more and more time to spread God's message..

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

[QUOTEseoulsearch]As Christians, we often criticize the world for "living for today". However, I've noticed that in my own Christian life, it often feel like I'm just holding on for a "someday" that always seems too far away.[/QUOTE]
Christians criticize the world for "living for today?" I don't think I've seen this.

I'm curious about my prospects and my potential, but like Willie, I take it one day at a time. We're instructed to not be anxious for tomorrow.

 

[seoulsearch]

"Living for today"--basically, a hedonistic, self-seeking lifestyle that we see glorified all around us... "the party lifestyle", etc. which many Christians do not hesitate to speak out against.

 

[psychomom]

this is a good topic, seoul.

hope deferred makes the heart sick, but does it matter where the hope lies?
i spent the first half of my life waiting for things to be different, only to miss
the days i wished away.

i said to myself, when the baby sleeps through the night, when the money's not so tight,
when we move to a bigger house, blah, blah...then i'll be happy.
(i know...what a dope, right?)

perhaps until we learn where True Hope lies, this will happen to us?
i know it sounds cliché to say our hope is in Christ and His promises,
but maybe it's just that important to learn to put Biblical hope where
the Bible tells us to put it?
not in anything we might become or accomplish, but in Jesus, because
that hope isn't wishy washy the way we tend to use the word.

Rom 8:18-25
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope
that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.
For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.
And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.
For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

isn't that real hope?
i dunno...but i hope so.

 

[zeroturbulence]

In a word...

Yea kinda.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I don't defer hope.. Hope defers me.

And its gotten really good at it.

 

[Jilly81]

The good counsel of "victorious Christian living" tells us that the very pinnacle of our faith as Christians is that "someday" we will get to be with God permanently I think the main reason that it's phrased like this is that it's true for ALL believers, even in absolute worst-case scenarios. Disease from which you have no hope of recovering? Not a problem; Heaven is so much happier. In constant, severe pain? You won't be for long. Constant persecution where you are? You're infinitely more accepted elsewhere.

It's not that it's the ONLY thing we have with Jesus, as the thought of not having the peace He brings is rather horrifying to me. However, we can each have an eternity with Him where everything can be so much better, no matter what hand we were dealt down here, and sometimes it's the only thing that can make me smile. ... and I often tell God, "Lord, is the whole purpose of the Christian life simply living to die? Because that's what it feels like. I know it's your will for us to work and earn a living, but the only sure thing I can count on is dying and being with you. SOMEDAY." Everyone tells us to "share the Gospel with others" and I think to myself, "So... my whole point in living... is telling other people that they too can live of life of trying to strive for a perfection they'll never reach Please don't tell them that, Kim. If they're trying to be perfect, they'll have to either lie to themselves or leave the faith. I know there's that verse about being perfect, but I honestly believe that it's phrased that way in the hope that few people will decide him or her self to be this amazing person, which is what would happen if the verse said "be ye good" instead of "be ye perfect". and live long enough to die for a 'someday' in which they, too, can go to heaven...Or maybe live a SHORT period of time and still go !

This isn't supposed to sound hostile, Kim. I often get frustrated with life as well. Though I'm not saying that it's right for me to do so, God knew we'd make mistakes and not look to Him enough, etc. Also, sometimes He WANTS us to ask Him for more, in a variety of life's areas. *hugs*

 

[Jilly81]

I don't defer hope.. Hope defers me.

And its gotten really good at it.

You're really good at giving hope to others, Gabe. I wish it would stick to its giver a bit more before it's sent off. *hugs*

 

[p_rehbein]

Does It Always Feel Like You're Living or Waiting For "Someday"?



(sorry, couldn't resist......y'all go ahead now, I'll tiptoe away)

 

[Lynx]

seoulsearch: That sounds really depressing. Or maybe I have cause and effect reversed and the thread is a result of you being really depressed. All I know is I don't know how I would deal with it if I felt that way about life. I know some who feel about their lives the way you said you feel in the OP but I don't understand it.

It reminds me of a quote though. "We speak of comfort and luxury as if they are necessities for happiness. The only thing a person needs in order to be happy in life is something to be passionate about."

Perhaps you are lacking something to be passionate about? I don't mean romance passion, I mean something that you identify with, that you pour your life into, something you have that you deem worth spending your time on, something that in twenty years you can look back on and be satisfied with what you have done with your life. Do you have anything to be passionate about?

 

[cinder]

I think too often we look at ministry and serving God as more church activities we should add into our already full schedules instead of looking for God to give us opportunities in the places we're already at in our daily lives. But the flip side of that is I think sometimes we hold on to limiting assumptions that aren't necessarily true. For a lot of us we make our job the highest priority. Now I definitely believe it is part of good character to uphold our working agreements and work hard and diligently, but there have been occasions in my own life and work history where I wish I had not let supervisor's guilt me into setting aside my plans because they needed someone to work. Every work situation is different, so I just want to suggest that if it seems like your job is keeping you from the other things that God has put in your heart, pray for and seek a change. Maybe God will lead you to quit in faith, maybe he will cause them to give you a favorable schedule, maybe you will find a few co-workers with whom you can connect and get along well.

I suffer a lot from the maybe somedays because I take commitment so seriously. I don't want to start things I can't finish. So I've been hesitant to make any sort of monthly financial commitments or join groups or take classes when I know I might be traveling a lot. I'm starting to see the value of just getting started though, or of making a limited commitment. One of these days, someday will have to be today or it won't happen. My experience has been that my someday came (at least one of them did) and now I find out that it hasn't been all I thought I wanted and life has to go on after someday happens (like people who think that they will get married and live happily ever after, but don't put any thought into what or how to do happily ever after). Now I'm learning about all the hopes I had mistakenly placed on someday or on the right circumstances and what to do when hope fulfilled still somehow leads to disappointment (or that great long stretch of I don't see anything to anticipate between me and whenever I get to heaven). I believe that God will bring something else along (might even be seeing the first steps of it but it's too early to tell), but in the meantime I'm trying to learn to let God in to redirect my heart. So that the hope that I have is worth asking about (1 Pet 4:15) and when the time comes I'll have a good answer to give.

 

[zeroturbulence]

[video=youtube;nIYqK30YP3E]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIYqK30YP3E[/video]

 

[seoulsearch]

I want to thank everyone for their answers here and hope people will continue to share. I share about my own life as an encouragement for others to tell us about themselves. I never mean for the focus to be on my own situation, but I do try to answer questions as I am asked.

Sassylady, you are on my heart and I prayed for you today. I know that from many of your posts, you feel the candle is burning at every angle and I pray God will give you comfort and relief, because even though we have different lives, I can relate to what you write.

Lynx, I thought long and hard last night at work about what I am passionate about. Thank you for caring enough to ask. The truth is, I have always been an extremely intense person. When I'm serious, you can hear a pin drop. When I'm joking, as bad as my jokes are, my mind is running in its "intensely funny" mode. My heart broke when I heard about Robin William's death because I understand those terrible highs and lows all too well.

I have always been someone with extremely high/low moods and energy levels--I spent years seeking medical help to "make me more normal" or "balance me out" and found it to be mostly futile and a waste of resources. I am positive some of what I go through is biological/physiological but for whatever reason, haven't found any kind of satisfactory help, including several Christian medical sources and counseling. However, please don't let this discourage others out there from seeking help, as I am only one person and what didn't work for me might very well work for someone else. For my own situation, I now just try to make the highs and lows work for me, or at least try to work more "with" them instead of against them or trying to change the cycles, because that has not worked at all. I feel blessed in that it's never interfered with my ability to live a normal, responsible lifestyle, and have always been relatively healthy. My doctor was blown away that some of my "good" numbers are nearly twice as high as what's recommended and told me, "Whatever you're doing, keep doing it!"

So... what am I passionate about? The answer comes in the form of another question: in other words, what am I doing right at the present moment? That is what I'm passionate about and I have only enough energy for the current task at hand. That's how God made me. For instance, I need to write a letter to a good friend--and my idea of a "letter" is usually about 8 pages, typed on both sides. Last night at work we had around 1000 cases to move with only myself for half the time and another person who came in 4 hours later. I pushed myself to do more and more, because my co-worker wasn't feeling well and I wanted to get as much done as possible to ease their burden. On the flip side, when I crash, I get to a point where I literally can't move. I burn out just as intensely as I throw myself into something.

I read a quote from an actress a few months ago that describes me perfectly. She said, "I don't like working (acting), unless I'm bleeding it." Whatever I am currently engaged in, I hurl myself into it until I crash out. Which also means I have little energy leftover when I'm done doing all the things that need to be done. I have tried very hard over the years to "pace" myself or "even out", but I know it just doesn't work for me. I would love to have something to look back on 20 years from now that I'm proud of but I find myself lacking any energy to do much on the side.

The only things I'll have to show for all the time passed are the days I pushed myself to throw an extra 20 cases in order to try to make someone else's day go a little easier. Or bringing in brownies for co-workers whom I believe God is telling me can't afford to buy a snack that day. Or bringing food to a small group church meeting that a young family is hosting and they have their own family to feed as well.

As stated in my other posts, I hate dealing with the general public, and my fellow posters here who regularly deal in tech service/support understand why.

Rather, my passion is in caring for other workers--my heart is always with those who work for others and take take the flak that comes with it, and my contentment is always in being a reliable, supportive assistant. I have no interest in being a boss myself. God made me to be a midwife, not a mother. My biggest satisfaction is in helping someone else get to where they need to be... and then God seems to reassign me to someone else. I also have a passion in learning who people really are and, like me, encouraging them to make the most of their natural highs and lows. And once we have a relationship built... Once I know the names of their children and what their dreams and problems and ambitions are... I start inviting them to church. Even if it takes 2 years to build that relationship.

In my current state, I get to do that a bit in my everyday, regular life. I can't change the policies or politics, but I can ask God how I can change the atmosphere, if only for the few people I'm around everyday.

And for now, that's all the passion I can manage.

 

[Matt67460]

I feel that way daily

 

[Lynx]

seoulsearch: You are... so much like me it's scary. Not the highs and lows part, but the whatever-you-have-goes-into-whatever-you're-doing part. And the crashing at the end. When I rest I'm serious about resting. When I'm on the clock I work hard.

You're not at all like me in the dealing with people part though. I like working front cash.

 

[Lynx]

And by the way, bipolar "disorder" - which is what it sounds like you're describing - can be a wonderful thing. Severe bipolar can be a bad thing but mild bipolar can be a serious asset. Especially if it responds to triggers, like situations where it comes in handy.


But anyway, you said this thread isn't about you specifically... personally I can't relate to the whole "waiting for someday" thing. I'm too busy living today. And I don't mean that hedonistically. I live today for today, for all it's worth, and I'll live tomorrow the same way.