The worst heresy of all

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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#1
Aug 13, 2014
24,908
8,162
113
#1
My heart is saddened. I used to think I could socialize with you people. Oh sure you all go to different churches, your doctrinal beliefs are different from mine - but I used to think that was alright, I could hang out in a forum with you people despite that. But then I found out something I just can't allow to slide...

YOU DON'T ALL APPLY MUSTARD THE RIGHT WAY!

The Bible clearly states multiple times that God goes to and fro. Therefore one should apply mustard to bread from left to right. But some of you apply it from right to left... some apply it up and down... some go in a SPIRAL for heaven's sake! Why I wouldn't be surprised if a few of you play tic-tac-toe with it before you finish making a sandwich.

I'm sorry, I can't talk to you people any more.

Now this is not a debate thread. I don't want to discuss what is the right way. I already know the right way and nothing you can do will change my mind. So just don't bother.

However, if there are any others who adhere to the proper Godly ways of applying mustard, I would like to talk to you. Please feel free to comment here. :cool:








What? It makes as much sense as some of the threads here.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#2
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#2
I hate mustard, so you don' have to worry about me applying it improperly.

*Prepares for the fires of hell.*

Hell hath no fury like a self-righteous person who tries to prove a point and is unable to... :D
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#3
Aug 13, 2014
24,908
8,162
113
#3
When I started this thread I made a bet with myself who would reply first. I won the bet. =^.^=
 
ChandlerFan

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
#4
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
#4
The fact that you apply mustard at all...BLEH.



Don't worry, I have mustered up some grace for you ;)
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#5
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#5
Mustard Yum apply liberally that's the Blond motto....can you tell I'm a Democrat?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
24,908
8,162
113
#6
MUSTERED! Man why did I not think to use that in my first post?! I knew I should have given seoulsearch the outline and let her write it.
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#7
Sep 4, 2013
30,195
6,536
113
#7
Lynx said:
When I started this thread I made a bet with myself who would reply first. I won the bet. =^.^=
Click to expand...
uh, you also LOST the bet.........
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#9
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
#9


There is not really a wrong way to apply this.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#10
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#10
Lynx said:
When I started this thread I made a bet with myself who would reply first. I won the bet. =^.^=
Click to expand...
You just lucked out that I'm still awake. :)

Lynx said:
MUSTERED! Man why did I not think to use that in my first post?! I knew I should have given seoulsearch the outline and let her write it.
Click to expand...
For a hefty fee, of course, fully paid in milkshakes, fries, and plain cheeseburgers unmustered by mustard.

(Chandler, your post was epic!) ;)
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#11
Sep 4, 2013
30,195
6,536
113
#11
tourist said:


There is not really a wrong way to apply this.
Click to expand...
I beg to differ...........it is clearly labeled FRENCH's........to properly apply, one must do so while in full retreat.
 
J

Jeff_56

Banned
#14
Dec 26, 2014
3,757
19
0
#14
after mustard's last stand ...... i don't know if i can
muster up the strength ..... but here goes --

left, right, left, right, is okay,




but ,


if it glows in the dark,,,,


maybe not...

>>from a mustard type product commercial ad online >>
quote
FOB Minimum Order: :75 Boxes Export Markets: :North America, South America, Eastern Europe, Southeast Asia, Africa, Oceania, Mid East, Eastern Asia, Western Europe Taste: :Spicy 1. Mustard flavored seasoning 2. Already prepared & comes in a resealable bottle 3. Free of nuclear radiation polution
end quote

i.e. watch out! other mustard might brighten up your life ! (but ...... )
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#15
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#15
Are variations of mustard permissible? Like honey mustard for instance? Since the Bible spoke of both honey and mustard, I mixed the two. That should be okay, right?
 
I

Iain

Guest
#16
#16
It has to be english mustard, otherwise you dont qualify :p
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#17
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#17
Lynx said:
My heart is saddened. I used to think I could socialize with you people. Oh sure you all go to different churches, your doctrinal beliefs are different from mine - but I used to think that was alright, I could hang out in a forum with you people despite that. But then I found out something I just can't allow to slide...

YOU DON'T ALL APPLY MUSTARD THE RIGHT WAY!

The Bible clearly states multiple times that God goes to and fro. Therefore one should apply mustard to bread from left to right. But some of you apply it from right to left... some apply it up and down... some go in a SPIRAL for heaven's sake! Why I wouldn't be surprised if a few of you play tic-tac-toe with it before you finish making a sandwich.

I'm sorry, I can't talk to you people any more.

Now this is not a debate thread. I don't want to discuss what is the right way. I already know the right way and nothing you can do will change my mind. So just don't bother.

However, if there are any others who adhere to the proper Godly ways of applying mustard, I would like to talk to you. Please feel free to comment here. :cool:








What? It makes as much sense as some of the threads here.
Click to expand...
Well then, go start your own church of "left to right spreaders". But before you go, be informed (just so I can save your soul) that ketchup is the color of blood, and therefore, the only Holy condiment.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#18
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
2,660
113
#18
well dang it. i don't like mustard. woe is me.

nah.
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#19
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#19
Willie-T said:
Well then, go start your own church of "left to right spreaders". But before you go, be informed (just so I can save your soul) that ketchup is the color of blood, and therefore, the only Holy condiment.
Click to expand...
What if I told you that he already has a church?

This could be a meme.
 
I

Iain

Guest
#20
#20
I say we must have a balance between mustard and tomato sauce I'm afraid that tasteless mess you call ketchup just wont do. It has to be South African All Gold tomato sauce and nothing else.
 
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