Are there any singles on here not dating?

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Chey60

Guest
#1
I gave up the dating sites about 2 years ago to the delight of my friends and family (???) and previously I was on so many of them for about 5 years. ... and haven't dated in about that time(2 years).. I have been single 8 years and only truly dated someone for 2 months in all that time. I couldn't "find" any men that were like minded... they were always living with half their bodies/ hearts in the world.. they were smorgasboard christians and it was just strange to me...

I sometimes get that tinge of partner desire but it doesn't last long as I accept my singleness and know if God wanted it to change He could bring someone into my path .... but I no longer look.

Are any of you in that same mindset? I see a lot of dating threads..and there is nothing wrong with that don't get me wrong.. in fact, if there are people out there who can find like minded christians to date? awesome!! praise God
I couldn't so I just let go and let God ;)

what's awesome is that my oldest son who is 28 came home after being away for 10 years when my 18 year marriage broke up.. I hadn't seen him and barely was able to talk to him for those 10 years and we have renewed our relationship so since he is barely starting a life of stability finally after all those years, I often feel that might be why I am single.. to be here for him.
I also have a lot of grandchildren and honestly my younger kids didn't seem to like when I dated.. esp my youngest who is now 20.
I think they feel my place should be being their mother and honestly I guess that's how I feel too? God hasn't brought anyone in my life and He has a reason.. so maybe that's it...

anyway.. would love to talk to other single parents of grown children or people who are not dating and just hear your story.

have you stopped dating?
what are the reasons?
what circumstance would have you dating someone? do you believe in dating? or do you feel that meeting someone and being friends, then working into a relationship is the what God would have for you?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#2
I'm single because I never started dating. Why not?

1. I'm not the kind of guy who goes on dates just for something to do on the weekend.

2. All the girls I would date are already married. None of the ones who are still single around here are the kind of girls I would want to date.

3. I've... well I've not really been spending too much time and effort looking to be honest.


If I happen to find THE ONE for me, yay! Until then I'm happily single.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#3
When I joined this site I was lonely but not really looking for anyone. I was hurting inside and prayed to God that He would allow me to know happiness. I met my future wife shortly after on this site. She wasn't really looking for a relationship either. The thing was we started to write to each other and fell in love. Now we are both happy.

We were married Thanksgiving Day last year on the strip in Las Vegas, Nevada. She picked that day because it was her late dad's birthday.

I am glad that you are well adjusted in your single life and are trusting in God in regards to future relationships.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#4
I'm single and I'm not currently dating anyone. In time, I would like to, but not now. Maybe not for awhile.
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#5
I'm not dating, but not 100% by choice. I would in a heartbeat, but my issue is that there are really only two or three single christian girls in the area I know of, and I'm just not interested. I'm not dating someone I'm not interested in. I also still have a lot of growing up to do before I date anyone.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#6
I would like to date and one day potentially get married and start a family. But I'm far from even having my life on track before I can even consider it. Right now I'm enjoying the positive side of singleness, and trying to figure out who I am in Christ.
 
Jan 27, 2015
2,690
367
83
#7
I gave up the dating sites about 2 years ago to the delight of my friends and family (???) and previously I was on so many of them for about 5 years. ... and haven't dated in about that time(2 years).. I have been single 8 years and only truly dated someone for 2 months in all that time. I couldn't "find" any men that were like minded... they were always living with half their bodies/ hearts in the world.. they were smorgasboard christians and it was just strange to me...

I sometimes get that tinge of partner desire but it doesn't last long as I accept my singleness and know if God wanted it to change He could bring someone into my path .... but I no longer look.

Are any of you in that same mindset? I see a lot of dating threads..and there is nothing wrong with that don't get me wrong.. in fact, if there are people out there who can find like minded christians to date? awesome!! praise God
I couldn't so I just let go and let God ;)

what's awesome is that my oldest son who is 28 came home after being away for 10 years when my 18 year marriage broke up.. I hadn't seen him and barely was able to talk to him for those 10 years and we have renewed our relationship so since he is barely starting a life of stability finally after all those years, I often feel that might be why I am single.. to be here for him.
I also have a lot of grandchildren and honestly my younger kids didn't seem to like when I dated.. esp my youngest who is now 20.
I think they feel my place should be being their mother and honestly I guess that's how I feel too? God hasn't brought anyone in my life and He has a reason.. so maybe that's it...

anyway.. would love to talk to other single parents of grown children or people who are not dating and just hear your story.

have you stopped dating?
what are the reasons?
what circumstance would have you dating someone? do you believe in dating? or do you feel that meeting someone and being friends, then working into a relationship is the what God would have for you?
This.

I have a relatively new-found intolerance for any worldliness and acceptance thereof. I reject it. And that leaves me with much fewer options, especially when it comes to someone who will remain moral sexually. Too many guys my age have that "try-before-you-buy" mentality. It can seem hopeless sometimes. *sigh*

But if God wants it for me, then He will approve someone for me who is Christ-minded and who is attracted to me and me to him. So I'm not worried as long as God is my matchmaker.

I'm single because I never started dating. Why not?

1. I'm not the kind of guy who goes on dates just for something to do on the weekend.

2. All the girls I would date are already married. None of the ones who are still single around here are the kind of girls I would want to date.

3. I've... well I've not really been spending too much time and effort looking to be honest.


If I happen to find THE ONE for me, yay! Until then I'm happily single.
I concur with 1 and 3.
 
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skylove7

Guest
#8
You go Lynx! Right on my friend! Proud of you!
 
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Chey60

Guest
#9
When I joined this site I was lonely but not really looking for anyone. I was hurting inside and prayed to God that He would allow me to know happiness. I met my future wife shortly after on this site. She wasn't really looking for a relationship either. The thing was we started to write to each other and fell in love. Now we are both happy.

We were married Thanksgiving Day last year on the strip in Las Vegas, Nevada. She picked that day because it was her late dad's birthday.

I am glad that you are well adjusted in your single life and are trusting in God in regards to future relationships.
So extremely happy for you!! I have often heard if you aren't looking thats when you find. I used to think that absolutely absurd :) " then why would I even want it!!!" gosh all those conversations with God ago lamenting my singlehood :)

It wasn't until my son came home that I think I realized I was ok being single :)
I think my son being home finally, that helped :)

but man I wasn't well adjusted for the longest time :) I think what also helped was feeling that even though I would be a good "catch"..I am 55 now and don't think I should have to live up to today's men's expectations :)
so I am ok with that because I have a God who loves me AS I AM ...plumpness and age and all :)
I am enjoying my grandsons, working a job that keeps me soooo busy and I have a great church and great friends :)
yes I sometimes miss being a woman.. you know having long/ deep conversations with guys...but being a worship team member, a sister in Christ and sister and a mom and grandmother is fine with me :)
 
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Chey60

Guest
#10
This.

I have a relatively new-found intolerance for any worldliness and acceptance thereof. I reject it. And that leaves me with much fewer options, especially when it comes to someone who will remain moral sexually. Too many guys my age have that "try-before-you-buy" mentality. It can seem hopeless sometimes. *sigh*

But if God wants it for me, then He will approve someone for me who is Christ-minded and who is attracted to me and me to him. So I'm not worried as long as God is my matchmaker.



I concur with 1 and 3.
Love this!! and same here regarding not being able to find men who reject all the worldiness ...I want a Jesus freak like me :) and they aren't out there... well they are but they are my kids ages :) LOL and um..no thank you!
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,415
2,659
113
#11
i've been single for 4.5 years. i'm not currently dating. why? the "on the surface" answer is because i'm not "out there" meeting people. i meet new people at the office, but those are patients and i'm not to cross that line lol also, in person, i'm a shy introvert.

the deeper answer is i'm not meeting people because i have trust issues.

i'm not anti-dating. i would like to date again, but when it comes to me, i'm pessimistic.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#12
For me it would depend on your definition of dating. Is dating people spending time with people you both adore and enjoy? Or is it courtship with an eventual betrothal in mind? I definitely don't do the latter, but the former is involuntary
 
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#13
1. never have dated, don't care to

2. nobody wanted me long ago, so forget it, if I want a headache ill go pound my head into the street.

3. nyet nyet nyet nyet
 
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yaright

Guest
#14
This is the first time I opened this thread, and stuck by the many ways a person perceived the question, [h=2]Are there any singles on here not dating?[/h]Because of the things I've been shown, I am not alone anymore. I don't feel as if I am missing something better. I feel like I am very much a part of life. I do know that there are many who hope to find an intriguing person to spend the rest of their life with. I do hope you find what it is that you are looking for. There isn't a day go by, no matter my state at the time, that I am not excited to search, to find, and to share the things that make my life so valuable, so rich that I am compelled to share with as many as will give a moment of their lives for me to share.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#15
I gave up the dating sites about 2 years ago to the delight of my friends and family (???) and previously I was on so many of them for about 5 years. ... and haven't dated in about that time(2 years).. I have been single 8 years and only truly dated someone for 2 months in all that time. I couldn't "find" any men that were like minded... they were always living with half their bodies/ hearts in the world.. they were smorgasboard christians and it was just strange to me...

I sometimes get that tinge of partner desire but it doesn't last long as I accept my singleness and know if God wanted it to change He could bring someone into my path .... but I no longer look.

Are any of you in that same mindset? I see a lot of dating threads..and there is nothing wrong with that don't get me wrong.. in fact, if there are people out there who can find like minded christians to date? awesome!! praise God
I couldn't so I just let go and let God ;)

what's awesome is that my oldest son who is 28 came home after being away for 10 years when my 18 year marriage broke up.. I hadn't seen him and barely was able to talk to him for those 10 years and we have renewed our relationship so since he is barely starting a life of stability finally after all those years, I often feel that might be why I am single.. to be here for him.
I also have a lot of grandchildren and honestly my younger kids didn't seem to like when I dated.. esp my youngest who is now 20.
I think they feel my place should be being their mother and honestly I guess that's how I feel too? God hasn't brought anyone in my life and He has a reason.. so maybe that's it...

anyway.. would love to talk to other single parents of grown children or people who are not dating and just hear your story.

- have you stopped dating?
- what are the reasons?
- what circumstance would have you dating someone?
- do you believe in dating?
- or do you feel that meeting someone and being friends, then working into a relationship is the what God would have for you?


Wow.

That's really a lot of questions.

I feel like I'm taking a test.


------------


have you stopped dating?
No

what are the reasons?

I'm just waiting for my Russian Bride to arrive from the Mail Order Catalog.
I hope she doesn't speak any English, because I think "not speaking" will be much more peaceful.


What circumstance would have you dating someone?
I don't think I'll ever NEED to date again.
If there's a problem with the Russian Mail Order Bride... I'm keeping the receipt so I can replace her easily.


Do you believe in dating?

I do NOT believe in dating, but I DO believe in selecting a careful purchase.


O r do you feel that meeting someone and being friends, then working into a relationship is the what God would have for you?

I don't see any reason to be friends with a woman before marriage...
it's not like you're going to be friends AFTER marriage.
 
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slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#16
I am not dating at the moment, but then again I'm not divorced yet either. My story is written out in some other forums in these rooms, but a short version is I am 52 and have been married 29 yrs. have been a christian my whole life minus 13 years , which represents the last 13 years of my marriage. In those 13 yrs my separation from God came from our marriage facing tests...we began to look at our needs more than the conclusions God made about those needs. We stopped tithing, we stopped going to church on a reg. basis, even the ministry I had in the church became a stumbling block to our own family time. I will say this was her test not mine, but my test was whether or not I would lead the family back to center in God's grace, or would I allow my wife's strong personality to rule the day? At that time Satan had me flustered, He even thru scripture at me to half-truth me into a bad decision. The scripture that talks about Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church he used to say well let her win the day that way you won't cause a fight and your grace to her will be honoring your wife like Christ loves the church. I knew better, my spirit showed me it was a lie, yet I let her win that day.That day turned out to be thirteen years. Our once blessed life turned out to now have a crack in it. And as we BOTH continued to disobey God that crack got even larger. She went on to "Self-improve", I went on to "Self-loath": I admit her reaction was prettier. She Ran religiously, ate only Paleo diets, she even had more faith in faith than I did, but she had replaced Christ as center with "Morality", And, although, Morality has it's charms it also has a different spirit. Our once unconditional Love now had a spirit of Judgement. I dug into work and loved my wife and kids the best I could but I found myself separating from my family. I couldn't get 1john 5:11-12 out of my head...And this is the testimony God has given us eternal life and this life is in His son; He who has the son has life. He who does not have the son of God does not have life....so their life plan was doomed to me , yet I was feeling powerless to chose Christ[ all-in] fashion, so ashamed, I sulked Then June of 2014 my wife asked for a divorce. I was crushed. I fell into depression as she became more antagonistic. Then oct. 1st of 2014 I found myself, after arguing, on the cold concrete floor in my Garage with nothing more than a free-weight piece as my pillow. God spoke to me and whispered, "Why are you holding on so tight to your despair?.....Let GO!...and grip me instead for I have plans to prosper you , not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. That snapped me like a twig. I let go..I was at rock bottom and I had no more arguments that made any sense to say no to God, I billowed out in tears and confession and thankfulness for hours until I stood up a NEW MAN! And today I live my life in what I now call my second tour-of-duty alone but with a fervor for God I have never had even when I was "all in" earlier in my life. One writer in here called my experience the Jezzebel experience that would be a good comparison. But I now am free to serve God wholly. That's all I have ever wanted my whole life since the age of eleven..For me to live is Christ and to die is gain for if God is for me who can be against me? God has opened my eyes again he has empowered my prayers again, I memorize scripture again and am involved in my local church. He has given me a demeanor, and nature of power compared to the 13 yrs of sullenness. I love people; all people, to a point of suffering. I want to listen to people not show them what I have attained to. I am in complete joy, my thirst for righteousness is at a boiling stage and I am thankful in every way. And all this despite my darkest hour with my wife, which is the ugliest thing I have ever been apart of.. anyway I would love to talk. God holds my future but I am free to be the man God wants me to be. And strangely enough I delight in that. My mission now is to become the man a christian woman is praying for..That was not to hit on you either, just a sincere statement. Chey60 nice to meet you!
 
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skylove7

Guest
#17
Maxwell!....ROFL, she's asking serious questions!
Then why am I ashamed I'm ROFL?
Because it tickled me I confess! Lol
 
B

BibleReader

Guest
#18
Current outstanding medical issues that are "annoying" so to speak have priority. LOL...
 
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skylove7

Guest
#19
I hope Chey laughs at maxwell too! He is being funny!
 
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cmarieh

Guest
#20
I have only went on one date in my life and he turned out to be not a good guy. Then the next day he gave me an ultimatum and chose against it. The best decision of my life.

I would love to court a wonderful Christian man who understands my strengths and weaknesses and likes me anyway. When we talk it would be like we don't have to try to have a deep conversation and instead it flows freely. I also desire to have a guy that I don't feel the need to wear makeup and he says that I am beautiful. For these reasons I believe a good solid dating relationship should start off being great friends because the trust would have already been developed.

I am single because I am waiting on God and when that time comes it will be perfect. I read an article that said that the reasons why people remain single is because God may be either working on you or the other person and preparing his plan for them. I dream of being married and having a family, but right now my priority is strengthening my relationship and trust in Christ and finishing my degree.