Wondering about dating etiquette?

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mystikmind

Guest
#1
From a Christian perspective, when you start dating and decide you like someone, at what point do you focus on that and close the door to other opportunities?

I ask this because in my entire life, i have never been comfortable to date a number of different women, i tend to straight away close myself off to everything else the moment i find someone i like even when i have no idea that person is rite for me. This has not benefited me much in my life.

Also ladies, when you start dating a man, what are your expectations regarding how and when you will prefer he will no longer be open to meeting other women?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
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#2
"So is this it? Are we a couple now?"

"I dunno... I like being with you, I just... I dunno."

"Well... will you be my 'it's complicated' on Facebook?"





"Yeah I would have broken up with him, but my internet connection was down."
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#3
Mystikmind,

Ummm... aren't you still married, or just starting a divorce process?

I mean, it's really none of my business what you do, but it might be good to slow down a bit.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#4
Mystikmind,

Ummm... aren't you still married, or just starting a divorce process?

I mean, it's really none of my business what you do, but it might be good to slow down a bit.
Absolutely! but the divorce will probably be coming through soon, then i don't know what will happen in the future, better to arm myself with knowledge now than end up suddenly finding myself in a situation and making the same mistakes i have made in the past.

I should add, as part of the process of getting my life back together, i have been joining allot of social groups and encountering allot of new people.
 
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Feb 7, 2015
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#5
From a Christian perspective, when you start dating and decide you like someone, at what point do you focus on that and close the door to other opportunities?

I ask this because in my entire life, i have never been comfortable to date a number of different women, i tend to straight away close myself off to everything else the moment i find someone i like even when i have no idea that person is rite for me. This has not benefited me much in my life.

Also ladies, when you start dating a man, what are your expectations regarding how and when you will prefer he will no longer be open to meeting other women?
Why not get a head start on being married, and actually just talk about this openly, and come up with a solution you both agree on?

If you start off with games, you may not be able to break free of the habit. (As you may have already experienced ?)
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#6
Absolutely! but the divorce will probably be coming through soon, then i don't know what will happen in the future, better to arm myself with knowledge now than end up suddenly finding myself in a situation and making the same mistakes i have made in the past.

I should add, as part of the process of getting my life back together, i have been joining allot of social groups and encountering allot of new people.
Well, if you're going to be dating in 2015,
it doesn't hurt to be "armed".

: )
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
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#8
Well, if you're going to be dating in 2015,
it doesn't hurt to be "armed".

: )
So I guess Maxwel is trying to say that when it comes to dating... PACKING heat is much preferred to BEING IN heat.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#9
Why not get a head start on being married, and actually just talk about this openly, and come up with a solution you both agree on?

If you start off with games, you may not be able to break free of the habit. (As you may have already experienced ?)
Hmmm, i don't think women like those type of conversations too early?

My problem is that i launch myself into commitment too soon and get tunnel vision towards that person, but i don't really know how to avoid this, so hence my question here?
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#10
So I guess Maxwel is trying to say that when it comes to dating... PACKING heat is much preferred to BEING IN heat.
Not sure i get it? lol, but certainly since my wife ended our marriage, i have realized i have ALLOT to learn about relationships, and my mistakes and bad habits.

I guess, i want to avoid simply latching on to the next women i decide that i like, because i know that is what i am going to do unless i understand how to avoid it?
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#11
Hmmm, i don't think women like those type of conversations too early?

My problem is that i launch myself into commitment too soon and get tunnel vision towards that person, but i don't really know how to avoid this, so hence my question here?
When I was single, I resolved that minor hurdle by convincing myself of what a fantastic catch I was, and that I owed it to the women of the world to give them all a chance.
 
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skylove7

Guest
#12
There is beauty in patience....
More beauty, wisdom,strength than ever possible, than if you rush too quickly.
Remembering....the result of a fruit being picked too soon is only bitterness, and regret that you didn't let it grow longer.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#13
There is beauty in patience....
More beauty, wisdom,strength than ever possible, than if you rush too quickly.
Remembering....the result of a fruit being picked too soon is only bitterness, and regret that you didn't let it grow longer.
Brilliant!
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#14
There is beauty in patience....
More beauty, wisdom,strength than ever possible, than if you rush too quickly.
Remembering....the result of a fruit being picked too soon is only bitterness, and regret that you didn't let it grow longer.
I just don't have time for all this flowery talk and complicated beating around the bush.

Why can't people just hurry up and get to the point?

Come on, go go go.

Geesh.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#15
When I was single, I resolved that minor hurdle by convincing myself of what a fantastic catch I was, and that I owed it to the women of the world to give them all a chance.
lol, but seriously, i have suffered from low self esteem my whole life, and as part of the healing process i have gone through, i have learnt the importance to like myself and feel that i am worthy of love. From this i gain a new inner strength and confidence, and yes, i have noticed women find these qualities very attractive!
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#16
I would suggest with a new relationship take it slow. I would allow yourself time to heal from the divorce and figure out what you want for your future.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#17
So I guess Maxwel is trying to say that when it comes to dating... PACKING heat is much preferred to BEING IN heat.
It's just like the Cinderella story, except instead of a glass slipper, Cinderella drops a gun.

Actually that's darned irresponsible of her. Plus it would probably freak out her date and all the people around her.

Cinderella, I'm disappointed in you.

lol, but seriously, i have suffered from low self esteem my whole life, and as part of the healing process i have gone through, i have learnt the importance to like myself and feel that i am worthy of love. From this i gain a new inner strength and confidence, and yes, i have noticed women find these qualities very attractive!
My advice is to slow it way down. Your divorce isn't even finalized yet. Slow down, heal, and take your time. It's not a rush - you said yourself you commit too fast and get tunnel vision. Confidence isn't a bad thing, but just because you've found it doesn't mean it's time to use it yet in the dating arena.

I also recommend you do some reading on the biblical grounds for divorce, and make sure whatever happened that your wife has crossed that threshold, or should be a moot point. That's an unpopular opinion - but it's an important one. You will not hear much discussion on the topic in your average church, because it doesn't exactly fill pews with divorce rates hovering between 30 and 50 percent.
 
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cmarieh

Guest
#18
I do think it is a little soon to discuss dating if the divorce is not final, but it is a good topic of dating etiquette because we all could learn something.
 

gypsygirl

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
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#19
It's just like the Cinderella story, except instead of a glass slipper, Cinderella drops a gun.

Actually that's darned irresponsible of her. Plus it would probably freak out her date and all the people around her.

Cinderella, I'm disappointed in you.

well, i am too. but cut her a little slack.

when's the last time you wore a bra holster or thigh holster under a ballgown???
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#20
I would suggest with a new relationship take it slow. I would allow yourself time to heal from the divorce and figure out what you want for your future.
This is correct, and i understand the importance to get out there and meet new people and make new friends. But while doing this, i am fairly certain i am going to come across women that i like.... and taking it slow is not a problem for me. But here is the trick, while i am taking it slow with a women i like, how do i hold back from feeling committed to that and remain open to whatever else may come in the future?