Just some thoughts.

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Vigil

Guest
#1
#1
I have not been in a relationship in a while, and I understand that I'm not in a good position for one at the moment either, though if God deems it to happen then it will. As a recent Christian I have to admit that well... I have sinned in regards to chastity, though by no means was I "popular" in this regard. Anyway it has been a long time since then, and at this point I feel if I was in a relationship I could easily wait until marriage since its been so long anyway, while of course prioritizing being obedient to God's will. I guess my question is, what is an appropriate way to approach a christian woman you are attracted too? I feel that almost any approach would be inappropriate, and I'm sort of a shy person in regards to this anyway, while I would certainly not want to make anyone uncomfortable or make a situation awkward in this hypothetical situation. Not really a priority, just kind of curious if anyone has any input.
 
M

mystikmind

Guest
#2
#2
I am naturally shy too, and i have never approached a woman to ask her out in my life either (used internet dating).

I eventually learn't it was just because i lacked self confidence. There is allot of material on how to be more self confident out there, for me, it started with learning to like myself!

If you can gain a belief that you are worth loving and giving love, then you will be confident to talk to women.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
There is no simple answer because it varies. Some Christian women do the 'go on a date to get to know you' method, like you see out in the world. Others require more friendship first, and others yet won't date, only court.
But really, if you are looking to ask someone out, whether a friend, or a person you hardly know, there is no way to remove the awkward factor.
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#4
#4
I'm with Ugly there's no way around the awkwardness. I just prefer to get to know someone naturally and let things grow from there. A friend of mine on chat yesterday (female) told me that girls don't like being talked to like they're a piece of meat. If you're interested introduce yourself and talk to them. Again, it's weird an awkward, but if you don't get along you don't get along, and if you do then you do.
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#5
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
136
63
#5
I kind of doubt that you need to be told any of this, because you probably know these things already:

Do not act like a girl that you approach owes you anything. Do not get angry if she doesn't want to go out. Don't take it personally, and don't get pushy or offended. Just let her do her thing and move on.

Don't be crude. If it would make you angry if someone said it to your sister, then don't say it to any other girl. Body parts are not good conversation starters.

Really, the only "rules" about how to approach someone have to do with respect. Be respectful, and even if the girl gets offended or goes off on you, then just realize that you didn't do anything wrong and don't get discouraged.

I'm guessing you wanted more specific guidelines about exactly how women like to be approached, but I really can't give you those. Every lady is different. But it is important to be yourself. If a girl thinks that you're too talkative, for example, then don't feel like you blew it and should have talked less. You were just being you, and it wasn't a good fit. You wouldn't want someone to be attracted to the person you were pretending to be, right? So just be you, and if you jive with someone, then great! And if you don't, then great! You'll jive with someone else.
 
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Breeze7

Guest
#6
#6
You can say to the girl,
Were you sad?... When heaven told you you had to come to earth because I feel like your an angel. :) ah nahh, don't really try that( unless you want to!).
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#7
#7



Works every time.
 
M

mystikmind

Guest
#8
#8
PopClick said:
I kind of doubt that you need to be told any of this, because you probably know these things already:

Do not act like a girl that you approach owes you anything. Do not get angry if she doesn't want to go out. Don't take it personally, and don't get pushy or offended. Just let her do her thing and move on.

Don't be crude. If it would make you angry if someone said it to your sister, then don't say it to any other girl. Body parts are not good conversation starters.

Really, the only "rules" about how to approach someone have to do with respect. Be respectful, and even if the girl gets offended or goes off on you, then just realize that you didn't do anything wrong and don't get discouraged.

I'm guessing you wanted more specific guidelines about exactly how women like to be approached, but I really can't give you those. Every lady is different. But it is important to be yourself. If a girl thinks that you're too talkative, for example, then don't feel like you blew it and should have talked less. You were just being you, and it wasn't a good fit. You wouldn't want someone to be attracted to the person you were pretending to be, right? So just be you, and if you jive with someone, then great! And if you don't, then great! You'll jive with someone else.
Click to expand...
I would also say that being yourself is very important.... the dating game is not about finding out how to convince a woman to like you, it is about finding out if a woman likes who you are (and that goes both ways of course).
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#9
Vigil said:
I have not been in a relationship in a while, and I understand that I'm not in a good position for one at the moment either, though if God deems it to happen then it will. As a recent Christian I have to admit that well... I have sinned in regards to chastity, though by no means was I "popular" in this regard. Anyway it has been a long time since then, and at this point I feel if I was in a relationship I could easily wait until marriage since its been so long anyway, while of course prioritizing being obedient to God's will. I guess my question is, what is an appropriate way to approach a christian woman you are attracted too? I feel that almost any approach would be inappropriate, and I'm sort of a shy person in regards to this anyway, while I would certainly not want to make anyone uncomfortable or make a situation awkward in this hypothetical situation. Not really a priority, just kind of curious if anyone has any input.
Click to expand...
1. whip out an acoustic guitar
2. start strummin
3. ask her out in a song
4. ...you're welcome.

5486878712_30f0431a00.jpg
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#10
#10
Just be her friend first. Get to know her a little bit before you ask her out. Then when she's a little more comfortable with you, ask her. This eliminates the awkward factor at least a little bit because the two of you have become friends first.
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#11
#11
A man could try the Boaz approach.. If God puts a woman in front of you (in your life, in your path) then start with little things like helping her with her service day, if it's at church.. Or if it's in the grocery store you see her at a lot, help her with her groceries. Just little ways to get to know her... Come in from the Christian sister stand point as scriptures say and you will be fine.. No pressure that way.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#12
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#12
Fortunatelly, it was Ruth´s approach, not the lucky man´s who married her.
 
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Chey60

Guest
#13
#13
The guitar thing could work too...lol
Honestly I hate when men write me "hi" in an email... Just hi... Or say"how are you today " .. This same thing is an approach used over and over by guys trying to talk to a girl.. Is off putting as getting the same birthday gift all the time.. It takes no thought and is an obvious sign you just have no clue what to say.. IMO.. If it's something that sounds like a "line" you would use on any girl then that girl isn't going to feel special and you aren't approaching her as such... If you pray it through and ts about her and not just any female just cause she's female.. Then you can think of something without trying so hard..
I wont even respond past the hi if that's all you got..
Imagine doing that in person..
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#14
Aug 13, 2014
24,913
8,166
113
#14
People do that all the time in person. The normal thing to do is say "hi" back.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#15
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#15


This trick is not any longer used (yet it could be refurbished, cause I saw a romantic "version" by June 2014)

This is not too approachable:



Unless you bring a pillow for her or a cup of coffee!

Don´t do this to her!





That way of blinking the eye is too evident (and single) and such "love" guns are better used to show her you took care of family life (Please, don´t brag with it)
 
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Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#16
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#16
Some of you guys have me just doubled over, laughing. But, I guess I was well into my 30's before I dropped that silliness myself.
 
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