What am I doing wrong???

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Ugly

Guest
#41
I'm guessing the OP is just another one hit wonder on this site as she's not returned.
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#42
*saunters in to clear up any misleading teaching*

This is not necessarily true. While it is true that when he was writing I Corinithians, he was not married (more likely: no LONGER married), it does NOT mean that he was NEVER married.

But, the rest of your points are salient and applicable. Good post overall; just have to make sure we don't add things to scripture that aren't there. ^_^
Okay maybe he was or wasn't married...perhaps I made a mistake, but you don't have to go about it in a condescending way.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#43
*saunters in to clear up any misleading teaching*

This is not necessarily true. While it is true that when he was writing I Corinithians, he was not married (more likely: no LONGER married), it does NOT mean that he was NEVER married.

But, the rest of your points are salient and applicable. Good post overall; just have to make sure we don't add things to scripture that aren't there. ^_^
Yea, wasn't her name Yoko Ono?
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
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#44
Hello Goodgirl,

As a Christian I know you know this verse but as a foundation let me start there...."Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Prov 3:5-6.

God says, "Ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you."....Oh wait, that's not exactly all He said. He starts that with..."If you remain in me and my words remain in you.."etc...etc.. So we know based on God's promises He will answer your prayer for a Husband. He answers yes, ..sometimes, no....sometimes maybe...

So, we can conclude that is not the problem..right?!! So, what is the hold up?

Well, perhaps it is His timing, or the Maybe answer. But I Feel the need to ask the question, after seeing the long list of accomplishments listed as the premise to your requests. And, I understand you are trying to explain your situation to us as to the background, but it is also a choice that you made that the background and not the time spent in prayer over it, becomes that description to us...so not concluding anything......but.....

...Because of that, I am reminded of the stories in the bible of the interaction of Jesus with the Pharisees.

Luke 14:3. Describes a time Jesus was in the temple after being with the disciples, and the Pharisees came in and began to mock Jesus in the way He went about Himself, basing their displeasure on their Laws of reverence to ....well to Himself [As they came to find out] and God .

Jesus asks them.."Is it Lawful to heal on the Sabbath?'...Now they had already been thru a spell on this subject earlier, so He is seeing if they listened.

I believe God was asking them in asking that question ..."Do you see who stands before you? I am the author of the things you serve the Law for!".."Do you get yet , that it is me you need to commit to, not the formula to me based on your reasoning, and intellect?"


As I see you in sorrow, I saw them in sorrow when hard times or needs came they didn't feel answers met their approval. They felt this anger toward God because they felt they earned His favor for the things they performed in the Law. Yet, God owes them nothing. It is Jesus Himself that is the answer. So, they became estranged to Jesus as they wallowed in their pity.

My answer to your questions that you have not seen the light at the end of the tunnel yet, actually, Jesus' question to them..."Who do you say that I am?"..."Do you trust me?"... In addition, I would remind you of the walk in that faith.. "be anxious about nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, that transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6-7.

I want to say, at age 26 you have nothing but Hope yet! You see I am 455 years old so that's wisdom speaking.... But as a person listening to you ....and not concluding things based on my own subjectivity... I want to, simply, pray for your needs to be met now, for that is your heart on it. And thus, now mine, for it is fair to ask.

Father, Give your Goodgirl your blessings in the area of a man. Bring Joy to her heart knowing you are on the quest to make that happen. Father be preparing the man as we speak, to live his life in you so as to give her the man she needs, make their paths cross, Help Goodgirl to become that woman he will need to uplift one another in the walk of faithfulness in you. by sitting in you.......I ask this in your name..Amen!
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#45
Okay maybe he was or wasn't married...perhaps I made a mistake, but you don't have to go about it in a condescending way.
Hey Shouryu, maybe you weren't being condescending. Maybe you were just trying to help the OP out. I just felt the need to apologize. I was in a very bad mood last night and I took it out on you. So yeah...I'm sorry!

I had no idea he could have been married. I grew up Catholic and haven't spend much time reading the New Testament because I started with the Old. I converted not too long ago.
I just assumed (like everyone else says) that he wasn't married...ever. But you're right, he could have been.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#46
Paul never mentioned anything about getting divorced so.. unless he was widowed, he was never married.

Plus, in the scripture he said he chose to stay unmarried (as opposed to staying 'divorced' or staying 'single').
 
F

FridaysChild

Guest
#47
My First Love

I have always been considered as a good girl and though I am not perfect I try to live my life according to the word of God. I am turning 26 in a few days and yet I am still single. What am I doing wrong?? I have always been shamed face, I carry myself as a lady, I give God my time and dedication but yet I'm still alone. I strived to do things the right way, I went to college and received my degree, I have my career established and I am financially stable, and I'm even saving my purity until marriage. Any advice on what I'm doing wrong?
When I was single, I asked God something similar.

While in prayer for this, the Lord showed me (in my mind's eye of understanding) a garment on a mannequin in the midst of being prepared for the wearer. Since I'd been sewing since I was a very young teen, this was a very befitting illustration to use for my understanding. Only part of the garment was completed. It just needed a few adjustments and additions. That mannequin's garment represented my future husband's spiritual walk with God. No one wears a garment half finished. God was in the midst of preparing my husband to come and meet me but there were some things He had to finish up before that appointed time. Also, I was reminded that this garment could very well be double fold in meaning so it might also represent myself. God could have been preparing me as well.

How could I help? By praying for my husband during that single time. And on my end, by listening, obeying, and trusting God to prepare me for my husband.

[SUP]"[/SUP]And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

Also, I'm reminded that God is a jealous God and would like to have us all for Himself. He is worthy, of course. Sometimes, He just wants a little more time with us before we start dividing our intimate time with another person. I had 3 and 1/2 years just 'dating Jesus' before I met my husband. I will never forget that precious time with the Lord alone. And I often think to Him about 'just our time' together. He will always be 'My First Love'.
 
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FridaysChild

Guest
#48
I'm guessing the OP is just another one hit wonder on this site as she's not returned.
LOL! No worries. :D

I read your statement before I posted but it doesn't matter too much to me if this topic is lost in the shuffle to the OP member. I answered because it's a much discussed topic so I hope my comment with help someone who comes along in curiosity to see what was said by other members.

"...all things work together for good to them that love God..."
Romans 8:28
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,939
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#49
Paul never mentioned anything about getting divorced so.. unless he was widowed, he was never married.

Plus, in the scripture he said he chose to stay unmarried (as opposed to staying 'divorced' or staying 'single').
Anyone with definitive proof is free to correct me, but I've grown up in churches and church schools all my life.

In my later studies, I came across articles pointing out that Paul states he was a Pharisee (Acts 23:6) and that he was descended from a family of Pharisees.

According to tradition, one of the qualifications of being a Pharisee was to be married (if I'm wrong about this, please give me a source--I'd be interested in reading about this myself.) In other words, Paul would not have qualified to be a Pharisee if he had not been married at some point. I've read speculations that his wife may have died... or left him when he became a Christian (which also puts a different light on some of the things he wrote... Some believe that as well as being inspired by God, he was also dealing with a broken heart.)

Of course, we'll never know for sure until we get to heaven, but for some reason, God didn't think it was necessary to include that detail in Scripture.
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#50
My point was that while Paul was a Christian, he wasn't married and that's the bottom line. It doesn't really matter if he was married before being a Christian. Wasn't he a killer too?
My point was that with God by your side, you don't need a spouse.

To the OP: it would be amazing for all of us to find a spouse, for all of us to get married some day. But unfortunately life doesn't work that way. My aunt is a 40 year old Christian and she has never gotten married. She is still waiting and is miserable. Don't wait on a spouse. Live your life now and show the world who Christ is through you. I hope and pray for you to find a husband, but if you don't, that's okay. You have God with you.

Basically, don't let being single stop you from living the life God wants you to live. :)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,234
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Tennessee
#51
Anyone with definitive proof is free to correct me, but I've grown up in churches and church schools all my life.

In my later studies, I came across articles pointing out that Paul states he was a Pharisee (Acts 23:6) and that he was descended from a family of Pharisees.

According to tradition, one of the qualifications of being a Pharisee was to be married (if I'm wrong about this, please give me a source--I'd be interested in reading about this myself.) In other words, Paul would not have qualified to be a Pharisee if he had not been married at some point. I've read speculations that his wife may have died... or left him when he became a Christian (which also puts a different light on some of the things he wrote... Some believe that as well as being inspired by God, he was also dealing with a broken heart.)

Of course, we'll never know for sure until we get to heaven, but for some reason, God didn't think it was necessary to include that detail in Scripture.
The details may be between the lines.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,939
4,577
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#52
Molly,

Excellent points and I wish I had taken them to heart a lot sooner in life than I actually did! It's cool to see someone embrace these thoughts at much earlier age than before I was even willing to begrudgingly acknowledge the things that you pointed out were even possible.

My post was in reply to Zero's comment about Paul never being married, not to your former post.
 
Feb 14, 2015
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#54
By staying pure you are staying close to God. Girl you are not the only one.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#55
I have always been considered as a good girl and though I am not perfect I try to live my life according to the word of God. I am turning 26 in a few days and yet I am still single. What am I doing wrong?? I have always been shamed face, I carry myself as a lady, I give God my time and dedication but yet I'm still alone. I strived to do things the right way, I went to college and received my degree, I have my career established and I am financially stable, and I'm even saving my purity until marriage. Any advice on what I'm doing wrong?
Not just with marriage, but everything in life has be brought to God and He decides if/when the time is right. I've never kissed a girl myself, and I'll be 25 in December. Is it something I'm embarrassed about? Not at all. God knows what He's doing. Who am I to question His will? Until a guy that's right for you, continue focusing on the Lord for when that guy does come to you. It will make that moment even better.
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#56
Molly,

Excellent points and I wish I had taken them to heart a lot sooner in life than I actually did! It's cool to see someone embrace these thoughts at much earlier age than before I was even willing to begrudgingly acknowledge the things that you pointed out were even possible.

My post was in reply to Zero's comment about Paul never being married, not to your former post.
Thank you! It does get difficult at times to see a lot of my friends marry so young and I'm left alone. But then I realize that I'm not alone and that I am in the path God wants me to be in right now.
I hope and pray that you find peace too! :) Blessings.
 

jb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2010
4,940
586
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#57
i'm 33 and been perma single >_>
Try shaving the beard off and cutting the hair and see what happens!

I'm sure you'll then be inundated with offers of marriage! :p
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,572
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#58
Anyone with definitive proof is free to correct me, but I've grown up in churches and church schools all my life.

In my later studies, I came across articles pointing out that Paul states he was a Pharisee (Acts 23:6) and that he was descended from a family of Pharisees.

According to tradition, one of the qualifications of being a Pharisee was to be married (if I'm wrong about this, please give me a source--I'd be interested in reading about this myself.) In other words, Paul would not have qualified to be a Pharisee if he had not been married at some point. I've read speculations that his wife may have died... or left him when he became a Christian (which also puts a different light on some of the things he wrote... Some believe that as well as being inspired by God, he was also dealing with a broken heart.)

Of course, we'll never know for sure until we get to heaven, but for some reason, God didn't think it was necessary to include that detail in Scripture.
Well maybe he lied! :p :p :p


(just kidding of course)

I never knew that about the pharisees. So if he was married did he have kids??
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#59
No worries, Molly. One of the dangers of written communication is that we sometimes misinterpret tone in someone's post. I've done it before, too. ^_^

In my later studies, I came across articles pointing out that Paul states he was a Pharisee (Acts 23:6) and that he was descended from a family of Pharisees.

According to tradition, one of the qualifications of being a Pharisee was to be married (if I'm wrong about this, please give me a source--I'd be interested in reading about this myself.) In other words, Paul would not have qualified to be a Pharisee if he had not been married at some point. I've read speculations that his wife may have died... or left him when he became a Christian (which also puts a different light on some of the things he wrote... Some believe that as well as being inspired by God, he was also dealing with a broken heart.)
This is precisely why most historical scholars believe that Paul had at one time been married. He was indeed a Pharisee, groomed to be the highest of the Pharisees. He would have married as soon as he was old enough to take a wife.

Furthermore, if I recall correctly, when one examines the Greek used in I Corinthians 7, something interesting pops out. The Greek word he uses when he refers to himself in tandem with widows ("to the unmarried and widows") is NOT the same word he uses for unmarried men when used in tandem with "virgins" ("to the unmarried men and virgins"). In "unmarried and widows," the Greek is more specific - the word used for "unmarried" actually means no-longer-married! It should also be pointed out that the Greek word translated here as "virgins" does NOT refer to a sexual state! It actually means "never-married woman!" So when you see THAT reference, Paul is speaking to never-married young men and never-married young women! A haaaaa...so why is it translated as "virgin" in the KJV and the KJV derivatives? Because in the Middle Ages, the term VIRGIN in English was a casually-used term for any unwed woman. So, Paul speaks on ONE hand to never-married men and never-married women, and on the other hand, no-longer-married singles and widows. Again, if I am remembering all the details from the Chuck Missler lecture I watched a few years ago.

So, just based off of his status as a Pharisee, it is MORE than likely that Paul was married...or at least when he was Saul, anyways. Based off of his use of language in I Corinthians 7, there is evidence to lead one to believe that he was either widowed, or as Kim said, his wife divorced him...likely during the 10 years he spent at home in Tarsus, trying to teach to the Jews and being ridiculed before setting out on his first missionary journey.
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#60
God decided everything
so don't be worries about all...
And you can't be a ''good girl''
because humans are so sinful...