What Does The Church Tell Older, More Experienced Singles? "Just Wait On The Lord?"
Hey everyone,
A discussion towards the end of the "Write a Letter to Your Future Spouse" thread really got me thinking. If you've spent much time in Christian circles as a single, you already know what you'll be told: "Just wait on the Lord! Use that time to deepen your relationship with Him! Finish your schooling! Work on improving yourself! Volunteer! Participate in things that interest you! Be content! Then give it all to God and wait on Him to send you the right person in His Perfect Timing!!!"
Which is all great, Biblical advice. Except that the people who most aggressively hand out that advice to young singles are usually those who met and married their spouse in their late teens or early 20's and have forgotten or are unfamiliar with the realities of modern single life. Many met their spouses before they were even officially adults.
God bless their hearts for wanting to help. But what I think is often forgotten is that they met their spouse at a time when it seems easier to meet people--when you're a young adult, you're often in several new environments, sometimes have fewer responsibilities, and may be able to spend more time getting to know someone. If God doesn't send you a spouse during that time, in a few years, you'll generally find yourself locked into a rigid, time-sucking routine in which you are always surrounded by the same people (at your job, etc.) who are all married or unavaillable as you work yourself to the grind trying to pay for all the new-found responsibilities of adulthood.
In one way or the other, every one of us is "waiting on the Lord"... Which, as I'm finding out, can turn into months, years, and even decades... The entire singles group at my church is a lovely bunch of older Christian women in their 50's, 60's, and 70's. Some are widowed, others divorced, and I think one may have never been married. But, most of these ladies all have the same desire on their heart: they long for someone to love them, and they would very much like to be married.
And so I'm curious. What advice does the church give to our older single communities? If you are a Christian single in your 50's, 60's, 70's, and beyond... Does the advice change? Are people still telling YOU to "wait on the Lord" as well? I realize that people might not believe there are any better answers out there, and maybe there aren't. But if you are 85 years old and find yourself single (after all, even for married people, there is a 50/50 chance that THEY will be single too someday), what does the church tell you?
Do you know an older, wiser single? What kind of advice do they give you, or have they ever told you about what advice they have received themselves?
And, do I dare ask... Does the church ever reach a point where it says, "Well Betty, there's no use in hoping for a spouse now... after all, your time here is almost up." I've grown up in churches all my life... and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that some have received that answer. Or, at what "age" does someone face the supposed reality that they will literally "always" be single... for the rest of their life?
Yes, I know ANYTHING is possible with God. But what's possible... and what really happens... are very often two very different things.
Hey everyone,
A discussion towards the end of the "Write a Letter to Your Future Spouse" thread really got me thinking. If you've spent much time in Christian circles as a single, you already know what you'll be told: "Just wait on the Lord! Use that time to deepen your relationship with Him! Finish your schooling! Work on improving yourself! Volunteer! Participate in things that interest you! Be content! Then give it all to God and wait on Him to send you the right person in His Perfect Timing!!!"
Which is all great, Biblical advice. Except that the people who most aggressively hand out that advice to young singles are usually those who met and married their spouse in their late teens or early 20's and have forgotten or are unfamiliar with the realities of modern single life. Many met their spouses before they were even officially adults.
God bless their hearts for wanting to help. But what I think is often forgotten is that they met their spouse at a time when it seems easier to meet people--when you're a young adult, you're often in several new environments, sometimes have fewer responsibilities, and may be able to spend more time getting to know someone. If God doesn't send you a spouse during that time, in a few years, you'll generally find yourself locked into a rigid, time-sucking routine in which you are always surrounded by the same people (at your job, etc.) who are all married or unavaillable as you work yourself to the grind trying to pay for all the new-found responsibilities of adulthood.
In one way or the other, every one of us is "waiting on the Lord"... Which, as I'm finding out, can turn into months, years, and even decades... The entire singles group at my church is a lovely bunch of older Christian women in their 50's, 60's, and 70's. Some are widowed, others divorced, and I think one may have never been married. But, most of these ladies all have the same desire on their heart: they long for someone to love them, and they would very much like to be married.
And so I'm curious. What advice does the church give to our older single communities? If you are a Christian single in your 50's, 60's, 70's, and beyond... Does the advice change? Are people still telling YOU to "wait on the Lord" as well? I realize that people might not believe there are any better answers out there, and maybe there aren't. But if you are 85 years old and find yourself single (after all, even for married people, there is a 50/50 chance that THEY will be single too someday), what does the church tell you?
Do you know an older, wiser single? What kind of advice do they give you, or have they ever told you about what advice they have received themselves?
And, do I dare ask... Does the church ever reach a point where it says, "Well Betty, there's no use in hoping for a spouse now... after all, your time here is almost up." I've grown up in churches all my life... and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that some have received that answer. Or, at what "age" does someone face the supposed reality that they will literally "always" be single... for the rest of their life?
Yes, I know ANYTHING is possible with God. But what's possible... and what really happens... are very often two very different things.
