i turn 21!!

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B

bao

Guest
#1
#1
i've heard a pastor said "we young people ,need to get married around 20"
but i am 21 now ,and i still have no one.
that's kind of make me nervous...
the pastor told us:every period have different missions to do ,and about 20s
is to get married,and have your own family ...
i know this is coming out from bible, but i still have to study,a lot of things to do
and the most important thing is i don't know where my husband is~QQ
i wish everybody can pray for me,i need faith to god ... :p
 
passing_through

passing_through

Banned
#2
Feb 1, 2015
1,198
15
0
#2
bao said:
i've heard a pastor said "we young people ,need to get married around 20"
but i am 21 now ,and i still have no one.
that's kind of make me nervous...
the pastor told us:every period have different missions to do ,and about 20s
is to get married,and have your own family ...
i know this is coming out from bible, but i still have to study,a lot of things to do
and the most important thing is i don't know where my husband is~QQ
i wish everybody can pray for me,i need faith to god ... :p
Click to expand...
Don't frett! You are an attractive girl and the time will come. I say you've got until 25. Do you plan to go to college? It's best to marry after college. Good blessing on you, Child of God.
 
hoss2576

hoss2576

Senior Member
#3
May 10, 2014
552
23
18
#3
bao said:
i've heard a pastor said "we young people ,need to get married around 20"
but i am 21 now ,and i still have no one.
that's kind of make me nervous...
the pastor told us:every period have different missions to do ,and about 20s
is to get married,and have your own family ...
i know this is coming out from bible, but i still have to study,a lot of things to do
and the most important thing is i don't know where my husband is~QQ
i wish everybody can pray for me,i need faith to god ... :p
Click to expand...
Nothing your pastor has said about getting married is actually biblical. Everyone who gets married does it at the time that is best for them as an individual. There may be pressure put on you by others, but get married when it is right for you.
 
M

mystikmind

Guest
#4
#4
That paster has a very unusual opinion because what i have noticed is that the world generally seems unaccommodating and rather dismissive towards the idea of getting married at the age of 20!

Anyway, my best advice is to take a balanced approach.... don't go too crazy looking to get married, but also don't get too caught up in education and career that you miss the good opportunity to marry if it comes within reach (allot of people get caught by that mistake).
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#5
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#5
bao said:
i've heard a pastor said "we young people ,need to get married around 20"
but i am 21 now ,and i still have no one.
that's kind of make me nervous...
the pastor told us:every period have different missions to do ,and about 20s
is to get married,and have your own family ...
i know this is coming out from bible, but i still have to study,a lot of things to do
and the most important thing is i don't know where my husband is~QQ
i wish everybody can pray for me,i need faith to god ... :p
Click to expand...
There is no Biblical mandate for every Christian to get married, certainly not by age 20. This idea is probably coming more from your (and your pastor's) culture more than the Bible. If you want to get married that's fine, ask God to begin shaping you now to be a good wife, and to help you choose wisely from the men who approach you (and please, please, please do not marry a man who is not a Christian just because you want to get married, it truly isn't worth it). 21 is awfully young to be getting married in most modern industrialized societies so you really don't have anything to worry about yet. Also find some time to study the Bible for yourself so that when pastors start saying things that don't come from the Bible you will know just how much of a stretch their interpretations are.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#6
#6
You may want to seek the will of God rather than seek the will of your pastor.

Pastor's are human like the rest of us and get things wrong too, that might come as a bit of
a surprise to you, but the words of a pastor need to be tested just the same as everyone else's.

20 does seem very young to be getting married, I think before a person marries it is good to
first know yourself and think about what you want out of life and as someone has said, complete any
education you want to pursue. Find time to feel comfortable in your own skin as it were and think about
what you want in life and grow as a person.

But there again you may want to seek the will of God rather than mine!:)
 
B

Breeze7

Guest
#7
#7
I would suggest not to marry just to do the thing "Society" says is the right thing at right time. Marry for love when the times best for you.
 
hoss2576

hoss2576

Senior Member
#9
May 10, 2014
552
23
18
#9
zeroturbulence said:
Your pastor is nuts.
Click to expand...
Ok, call her pastor wrong or say that his view is unbiblical, but calling him "nuts" is a bit much don't you think? This could even be cultural in her country as much as we disagree with it, but no need to call someone's pastor "nuts."
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#10
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#10
hoss2576 said:
Ok, call her pastor wrong or say that his view is unbiblical, but calling him "nuts" is a bit much don't you think? This could even be cultural in her country as much as we disagree with it, but no need to call someone's pastor "nuts."
Click to expand...
Hmm.. it must be that time of the month. I meant he's nuts for telling his congregation at what age they should get married and start a family. Thanks for playing. :)
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#11
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#11
zeroturbulence said:
Hmm.. it must be that time of the month. I meant he's nuts for telling his congregation at what age they should get married and start a family. Thanks for playing. :)
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That was rude and uncalled for even if it is that time of month for you :p. Hoss is a great guy and his concern for people and treating them fairly is one of his best qualities. Also the OP is from Asia, many Asian cultures are more communal and more hierarchical than the US and because of these cultural features pastors often have a much greater say in the personal lives of their church members. It can be taken to extremes, but it sounds like this was a general message the pastor gave, not a personal discussion with the OP.

the pastor told us:every period have different missions to do ,and about 20s
is to get married,and have your own family ...
Click to expand...
If this is what the pastor said, it isn't nuts or a bad thing for him to encourage the young people in his church to get married and start families. It isn't biblical that that is what they must do, yes I think there is clearly some cultural bias in it, but it isn't a bad thing to encourage.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#12
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#12
I've got some news for you... it's always that time of the month for me! :p

Oh and I'm from asia too, so there's that..
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#13
Oh and I should point out that my initial post was made on my phone which has a tiny keyboard, so I didn't feel like typing out the entire reason why I think her pastor is nuts.

And I can't help but feel that some folks here just can't wait for the opportunity to tell me off or make me look guilty even though I meant no one any harm.

Well... take as many opportunities as you can because I have a feeling my time here on CC will be ending very soon!
 
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IamFree2015

Guest
#14
#14
The OPINION of your pastor is nuts, crazy, unbiblical or whatever word you choose to use. Regardless its his opinion only. I always raised my children to not marry until at least 30 because you grow and change so much in 20's and hopefully will use wisdom by then in lifelong mate. But hey that's just my opinion. BTW God has a sense of humor...too bad more of His children don't share it. Lord I pray for those who choose to be offended and uptight especially over things so trivial.
 
A

AbbeyJoy

Guest
#15
#15
Do what God ask you to do not a pastor....Im 31 and still single ... so dont worry God knows the best time for us to get married Not the Pastor :) Just seek Him first and Allow Hime to Guide you to the right day and time
 
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