The problem with attracting "ALL" women?

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Calmador

Senior Member
Jun 23, 2011
945
40
28
#1
So, I noticed a thread titled.. "how to attract women"... something like that which I'm guessing implies... all women. And it's not just this thread, I've seen the idea of attracting all women everywhere, outside of christian dating as-well, and I can't help but think there's something wrong with it.

For starters, you're not going to marry all women. And I think this is on the side of "mankind pleasing."

I have to admit though... sometimes I've thought about attracting "all women" too. But, in a different way.... like... how to attract the "ideal woman"... in a philosophical way though...by asking "what is masculine and what is feminine?"

Also, the idea of making myself more attractive to "all women"... it feels like I'm bowing down to women's will everywhere... and men are meant to lead... not follow.

Maybe there's a line... the abstract idea of what is ideally/rightly (by God) masculine and feminine... and individual men and women.

Thoughts?
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#2
I think there has been a misunderstanding of the thread's intention. It was a question of what women find attractive in general. The intention was not to attract "all women" à la Hugh Hefner, but to know what most women like and dislike and thereby, to appeal to the woman of one's dreams.
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#3
I once thought that "generally" women were attracted to security and maybe still do. But then I thought - what is security, or at least, what is it that promises security to women. So I've refined this attitude to think that maybe most women like men with (#1 ) - drive or a man who knows what he wants from life. Alongside of this is #2 - humor and I believe through the natural course of things, if one has drive and humor, is #3 - confidence. These top 3 are the driving force BEHIND qualities such as direction and purpose, and character (several other qualities that attract women). Then again, that doesn't really settle it because there's a couple of things women are attracted to that have little to do with above. Like "presence". I think women like to have a sense of presence - in other words, a sense that they are the one thought of and seen as the most important.

Then again, all this is just words and I think it's just takes the quiet secure action of the male that could attract the quality female. I think (hope) it's more than how attractive one is. I have found women here extremely attractive and never laid eyes on them and the list is quite long, so it's more than how pretty the man/woman is, IMO for both sexes.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#4
I think Ken Thomas got it right. Having a plan for your future is something that was attractive to me, before I was married. I wanted to meet someone who Iwas compatible with that also wanted marriage and children, not just to date.
 

Calmador

Senior Member
Jun 23, 2011
945
40
28
#5
I think there has been a misunderstanding of the thread's intention. It was a question of what women find attractive in general. The intention was not to attract "all women" à la Hugh Hefner, but to know what most women like and dislike and thereby, to appeal to the woman of one's dreams.
I think it can work with that as well... most women or all women... the idea of attracting most or all women seems wrong because your appealing to many people to get what you want. On one hand it seems selfish.... and on the other.. it's sort of followish... like if most or all women... said they were attracted to men that had a fair amount of muscle for body mass.. would you jump up and start working out?

I can understand doing that for my wife... keeping fit for her... in a way its thoughtful. But doing it for most or all women. In part your doing it for yourself it seems... so when you "cast your net" (flirting)... you'll get a lot of "fishes." (women)

I think I make sense... do you see what I mean?
 
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May 3, 2013
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#6
I think there has been a misunderstanding of the thread's intention. It was a question of what women find attractive in general. The intention was not to attract "all women" à la Hugh Hefner, but to know what most women like and dislike and thereby, to appeal to the woman of one's dreams.
That thread was good, because they gave their inputs on what they surely like, independently of their being Christians or not, those are ladies with their personal dreams and human longs.
 

Calmador

Senior Member
Jun 23, 2011
945
40
28
#9
I once thought that "generally" women were attracted to security and maybe still do. But then I thought - what is security, or at least, what is it that promises security to women. So I've refined this attitude to think that maybe most women like men with (#1 ) - drive or a man who knows what he wants from life. Alongside of this is #2 - humor and I believe through the natural course of things, if one has drive and humor, is #3 - confidence. These top 3 are the driving force BEHIND qualities such as direction and purpose, and character (several other qualities that attract women). Then again, that doesn't really settle it because there's a couple of things women are attracted to that have little to do with above. Like "presence". I think women like to have a sense of presence - in other words, a sense that they are the one thought of and seen as the most important.

Then again, all this is just words and I think it's just takes the quiet secure action of the male that could attract the quality female. I think (hope) it's more than how attractive one is. I have found women here extremely attractive and never laid eyes on them and the list is quite long, so it's more than how pretty the man/woman is, IMO for both sexes.
I think you went off topic.. but whatever

I think stupid women like men with confidence. Anyone can have confidence... heck you can act it out. I just don't think its a vague cliche... a lazy way to explain what women like and more importantly... what women ought to like.

There are women who like the bad boys... see why I think stupid women like men with confidence? You should now.

Confidence in Christ would be more appropriate.

I like your list though... I guess a man who can do those would be attractive. No doubt in the humor point lol

I like to think that God has already implicitly gave us some points to go for... and it automatically makes us attractive to each other... for example..

Men are meant to be leaders in the home. What's that mean for men who are not yet married? Get to it and get yourself in leadership positions.. practice.. someday your gonna need to make decisions for your family. A man that can make decisions, I think naturally is attractive to women and we didn't have to think about attracting women... just think about what God has told us already.

God says love your wife... understand her as the weaker vessel... women emotional... get emotionally intelligent.

I think we'll be fine in attracting christian women as long as you follow God. Anyways...

What do you think of my op.... and topic? lol xD
 

Calmador

Senior Member
Jun 23, 2011
945
40
28
#10
That thread was good, because they gave their inputs on what they surely like, independently of their being Christians or not, those are ladies with their personal dreams and human longs.
I'll have to check out that thread then :)
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#11
I think stupid women like men with confidence. Anyone can have confidence... heck you can act it out.
Disagree on both points. "Acting it out" doesn't sound like confidence at all, it sounds like bravado.

Confidence in Christ would be more appropriate.
"Heck you can act that out." ;) (But yes, actual confidence in Christ is more appropriate)

A man that can make decisions, I think naturally is attractive to women(...)
A man that can make decisions (minus being a control freak, perhaps) is a man with confidence─just saying. That's just my take, anyway.
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#12
So, I noticed a thread titled.. "how to attract women"... something like that which I'm guessing implies... all women. And it's not just this thread, I've seen the idea of attracting all women everywhere, outside of christian dating as-well, and I can't help but think there's something wrong with it.

For starters, you're not going to marry all women. And I think this is on the side of "mankind pleasing."

I have to admit though... sometimes I've thought about attracting "all women" too. But, in a different way.... like... how to attract the "ideal woman"... in a philosophical way though...by asking "what is masculine and what is feminine?"

Also, the idea of making myself more attractive to "all women"... it feels like I'm bowing down to women's will everywhere... and men are meant to lead... not follow.

Maybe there's a line... the abstract idea of what is ideally/rightly (by God) masculine and feminine... and individual men and women.

Thoughts?
It sounds a little like you might be equating male leadership to a female's abdication, when really, Christ teaches us that leadership IS serving. Maybe I'm not sure what you're asking in your op, but if you want to attract women with an archaic view of the servility of women, then knock yourself out, but Christ came to earth as a rebel - especially in the treatment and regard of women. It was He who ignored Jewish custom and transgression of such for the "sin" of talking to women and healed that woman with menstrual bleeding in Mark 5. It was Christ who accepted women in His inner circle - Mary and Joanna and many others. It was a woman He first appeared to after His resurrection (wouldn't Mary of Magdalene be the first apostle?) and nothing but woman at His crucifixion (let the cock crow a 4th time for the absent men). Think of how many parallel stories He spoke of in Luke 2 and 4 with the healing of Peter's mother in law and 7 and 17. Oh, and in Luke 17, with that woman He drove the satanic spirits out of - He referred to her as a Daughter of Abraham putting her on the same status as men. I mean, how can you possibly lead without knowing the strengths of your forces? Read Genesis 1:27 and consider the duality of God - 'so God created him; male and female He created them". So which portion would you consider the less?
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#13
You're on a roll Ken Thomas, again I agree with you. I can't understand how you're still single.
 

Calmador

Senior Member
Jun 23, 2011
945
40
28
#14
It sounds a little like you might be equating male leadership to a female's abdication, when really, Christ teaches us that leadership IS serving. Maybe I'm not sure what you're asking in your op, but if you want to attract women with an archaic view of the servility of women, then knock yourself out, but Christ came to earth as a rebel - especially in the treatment and regard of women. It was He who ignored Jewish custom and transgression of such for the "sin" of talking to women and healed that woman with menstrual bleeding in Mark 5. It was Christ who accepted women in His inner circle - Mary and Joanna and many others. It was a woman He first appeared to after His resurrection (wouldn't Mary of Magdalene be the first apostle?) and nothing but woman at His crucifixion (let the cock crow a 4th time for the absent men). Think of how many parallel stories He spoke of in Luke 2 and 4 with the healing of Peter's mother in law and 7 and 17. Oh, and in Luke 17, with that woman He drove the satanic spirits out of - He referred to her as a Daughter of Abraham putting her on the same status as men. I mean, how can you possibly lead without knowing the strengths of your forces? Read Genesis 1:27 and consider the duality of God - 'so God created him; male and female He created them". So which portion would you consider the less?
I believe men, husbands, are leaders of their wives, according to scripture.

And, I believe we're all just souls... so a soul is not exactly "better" (Christ is the true value) than another soul.
 
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lonewolf

Guest
#15
So, I noticed a thread titled.. "how to attract women"... something like that which I'm guessing implies... all women. And it's not just this thread, I've seen the idea of attracting all women everywhere, outside of christian dating as-well, and I can't help but think there's something wrong with it.

For starters, you're not going to marry all women. And I think this is on the side of "mankind pleasing."

I have to admit though... sometimes I've thought about attracting "all women" too. But, in a different way.... like... how to attract the "ideal woman"... in a philosophical way though...by asking "what is masculine and what is feminine?"

Also, the idea of making myself more attractive to "all women"... it feels like I'm bowing down to women's will everywhere... and men are meant to lead... not follow.

Maybe there's a line... the abstract idea of what is ideally/rightly (by God) masculine and feminine... and individual men and women.

Thoughts?
The actual title is "How to increase your attractiveness to women" which is very different from saying "How to attract all women".
 
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Nov 25, 2014
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#18
For starters, you're not going to marry all women. And I think this is on the side of "mankind pleasing."

Actually, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to please other people or be pleasing to other people. It just shouldn't be our MAIN concern or supplant our service to God. However, even the bible tells us that as far as possible we should be at peace with all people. (A separate idea from attraction, I know, but just an example of how pleasing people isn't necessarily contradictory to serving God).


Also, the idea of making myself more attractive to "all women"... it feels like I'm bowing down to women's will everywhere... and men are meant to lead... not follow.
I honestly don't get the logic here. The idea of leveraging one's abilities, gifts, genetics, etc., for the purpose of presenting your best possible self doesn't seem so awful to me. People do it to get jobs, why not to build a relationship? Throughout time, men and women have always done things to make themselves more attractive for the purpose of marriage.

I do get that our culture places a lot of emphasis on things that quickly fade, instead of increasing aspects of our character that will beautify us for all time. So, ya know, don't do that. Don't be a slave to acculturation. But getting a nice haircut, having manners, smelling good, etc., are not in violation of scriptures.

I also don't think they are a waste of time either. A Christian man, for example, who wants to marry should marshal his resources to prepare for the task of supporting a wife and children. No one would consider a man "carnal" or "mankind pleasing" if he bought a decent home to provide for his wife...even if he had no wife at the time. No one would consider a woman "mankind pleasing" if she diminished her debt load in anticipation of eventually marrying....or if she took folic acid with an eye to eventually marrying and having children.

These are real human concerns. Most people should marry. Doing things to make this happen is completely within the norm.

What I DO think is dangerous is the idea that we must be PERFECT in order to find a mate. Not only is it NUTS, it's also self-defeating.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#19
Also, the idea of making myself more attractive to "all women"... it feels like I'm bowing down to women's will everywhere... and men are meant to lead... not follow.

Maybe there's a line... the abstract idea of what is ideally/rightly (by God) masculine and feminine... and individual men and women.

Thoughts?
Here's my thought.

Follow God. Be a man of Christ. Forget trying to be attractive to women in general.

When a woman who's following God, being a woman of Christ, comes along? She'll likely find you attractive.
 

gypsygirl

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#20
Here's my thought.

Follow God. Be a man of Christ. Forget trying to be attractive to women in general.

When a woman who's following God, being a woman of Christ, comes along? She'll likely find you attractive.
^^^ this ^^^

see, there is no "all women" any more than there is "all men". what is attractive to me isn't going to be attractive to another woman, possibly.

this applies to physical attraction, personality, hobbies, and other qualities. but at the end the day, a woman who loves God and seeks to be a godly woman will recognize the qualities of a godly man as very attractive and compelling--and that is the closest you can come to being "universally attractive" since God is the primary common denominator and certainly the most important one.