Imagine that you are someone with purple skin. Would hearing that make you uncomfortable? What about hearing someone talk about having a thing for people with your particular eye or hair color? Is it just normal human preferences that cause people to say stuff like that? Or should those things be left unsaid? Does it seem like reducing a person to just their eye/hair color? Or is it no big deal either way? Would it make a difference how often it was said?
I want someone with purple skin
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P
PC, i read the thread title and thought it was on the real.
so i was gonna suggest we might stand in a meat locker for a while?
it probably is normal human preference, and it certainly does depend on context and how it's said.
but wouldn't it be neat if we, like the Lord, would look at the heart rather than externals?
xoxo
so i was gonna suggest we might stand in a meat locker for a while?
it probably is normal human preference, and it certainly does depend on context and how it's said.
but wouldn't it be neat if we, like the Lord, would look at the heart rather than externals?
xoxo
It would make me very uncomfortable….. if it was the purple people eater saying it.
Other than that, hearing someone talk in general about how they only found people with certain color anything attractive, would make me think they were either shallow or insincere, and that would just make it easier to turn them down if they wanted to start anything with me.
Other than that, hearing someone talk in general about how they only found people with certain color anything attractive, would make me think they were either shallow or insincere, and that would just make it easier to turn them down if they wanted to start anything with me.
Does it reduce a woman when a man compliments one thing about her? "You have clear eyes, like pools of water." So, he likes them because they are blue... does that mean he reduced women by saying to his buddies "I really like blue eyes" ?
And I don't think that when someone says "I like this" that they will reject everyone without that. Most people will settle for a little something they don't like, or settle for something way off their preference because she has the personality, intellect, or something.
You have the extreme cases of men that won't settle for less than a model, and that's that - I knew one, he's coming on 55 and still single, never married. And he STILL won't settle for someone with a little tummy, even if she is 125 lbs.
If you have a checklist of things to look for, you may never find it.
And I don't think that when someone says "I like this" that they will reject everyone without that. Most people will settle for a little something they don't like, or settle for something way off their preference because she has the personality, intellect, or something.
You have the extreme cases of men that won't settle for less than a model, and that's that - I knew one, he's coming on 55 and still single, never married. And he STILL won't settle for someone with a little tummy, even if she is 125 lbs.
If you have a checklist of things to look for, you may never find it.
S
I've only just read it and I'm already uncomfortable.
I find it hard to accept a casual compliment as something reducing; it's usually meant to flatter or build someone up, if nothing else. But of course this can branch out and eventually cross a line of tact that makes for some unease, to say the least.
Why, though? Did someone compliment your purple skin again?
I find it hard to accept a casual compliment as something reducing; it's usually meant to flatter or build someone up, if nothing else. But of course this can branch out and eventually cross a line of tact that makes for some unease, to say the least.
Why, though? Did someone compliment your purple skin again?
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K
I can't but think of that StarTrek episode when Kirk, Spock and Bones visited this planet whose people where at each other's throats. They were always battling each other and the StarTreker's thought they'd act as diplomats and help them figure out there differences. They got a couple of leaders to meet and clearly they hated each other and mostly because of the way they looked - both looked identical to each other and each were black skinned on one side of their bodies and white on the other side. Kirk and Spock were confused because they couldn't really tell any difference in them. The leaders both said "Are you blind? He's black on his left side!". "He's black on the right side!".
I've often thought that if it did turn out that God had other planets and people He was looking over (on the side of course), that if this other planet's aliens were to visit Earth - whether they would be able to distinguish our differences. We would probably appear to them as squirrels appear to us - we couldn't tell one one from the other.
I've often thought that if it did turn out that God had other planets and people He was looking over (on the side of course), that if this other planet's aliens were to visit Earth - whether they would be able to distinguish our differences. We would probably appear to them as squirrels appear to us - we couldn't tell one one from the other.
My ex-gf had yellowish skin, and it complimented my darker skin tone. People said we looked great together.
Here are is a picture of me with my ex -
What? Didn't you know that I am a bear?
Anyway, on a serious note, I have been rejected a couple of times because of my darker skin colour. I have been rejected once because I was not very tall (I'm almost 5'6", btw). At the face of it, I would not call such people shallow. In a relationship, physical attraction is a must. I don't think I would fall in love with someone if I am not physically attracted to her, and I wouldn't expect someone to do so with me either. However, if a girl is being too picky about physical traits, I would call her shallow and I would be put off. What I mean by "being too picky about physical traits" is if she has defined her ideal guy to the minutest detail that she could do well by building a custom robot that resembled what she wanted.
This question reminds me of the movie, "How to build a better boy" which was released last year. Had the same movie been about a girl, some feminists would have been all over the news protesting and organizing nude walks under the banner 'Love me for who I am'.
Here are is a picture of me with my ex -
What? Didn't you know that I am a bear?
Anyway, on a serious note, I have been rejected a couple of times because of my darker skin colour. I have been rejected once because I was not very tall (I'm almost 5'6", btw). At the face of it, I would not call such people shallow. In a relationship, physical attraction is a must. I don't think I would fall in love with someone if I am not physically attracted to her, and I wouldn't expect someone to do so with me either. However, if a girl is being too picky about physical traits, I would call her shallow and I would be put off. What I mean by "being too picky about physical traits" is if she has defined her ideal guy to the minutest detail that she could do well by building a custom robot that resembled what she wanted.
This question reminds me of the movie, "How to build a better boy" which was released last year. Had the same movie been about a girl, some feminists would have been all over the news protesting and organizing nude walks under the banner 'Love me for who I am'.
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Nobody has ever said "I want a lynx" so I don't know what I would think about this topic.
Okay, seriously: I have no idea what I would want someone to look like. I usually decide I like or dislike someone after talking to the person. So I've never given this much thought. As for when other people say stuff like "I prefer blondes" or "I like someone who's not rail-thin skinny" I tend to ignore that because their opinions are not relevant to my frame of reference. Different paradigms.
Okay, seriously: I have no idea what I would want someone to look like. I usually decide I like or dislike someone after talking to the person. So I've never given this much thought. As for when other people say stuff like "I prefer blondes" or "I like someone who's not rail-thin skinny" I tend to ignore that because their opinions are not relevant to my frame of reference. Different paradigms.
it's always been a little weird to me when i find myself characterized as attractive by any of my physical features. it's one thing that a guy i'm already involved with appreciates my features, but if i thought a guy was with me because i had blue eyes, was tall or had long hair, i'd be weirded out by that.
though it does remind me of an odd conversation i had with my first boyfriend. after we'd been going out for about 6 months my family was in town for a visit, and he got to meet the members of my immediate family. a comment was made about why he was attracted to me, and and he said, "well, because you're tall, and your family's tall. you've got good genes!"
that's when i broke to him that i had no desire to duplicate my genetic material.
though it does remind me of an odd conversation i had with my first boyfriend. after we'd been going out for about 6 months my family was in town for a visit, and he got to meet the members of my immediate family. a comment was made about why he was attracted to me, and and he said, "well, because you're tall, and your family's tall. you've got good genes!"
that's when i broke to him that i had no desire to duplicate my genetic material.
N
I don't think I would feel bad if it is my skin may be someone had to poke fun at me. In 90s here in our country, most women were bleaching their skin, and it turn out their skin looks ugly. So in order to change their attitude, there were a phrase that say " black is beauty", so as long as I am black I feel proud of my skin.
God gave us free will for a reason. Part of it came with having preferences.Traits like eye, hair, and skin color are a lot like food. I don't like red meat. Other people do. Some people's hearts melt for blue eyes. Others like tall, dark, and handsome. The problem comes when you only set your mind on just those things. Your girlfriend/boyfriend or even spouse won't have everything. Maybe they won't even have anything you were looking for, besides being a God fearing person. Is Jesus the main ingredient in the person's life? That's the only thing that's important. Everything else is secondary. But because we don't see inside the hearts, the person with purple skin and the homeless person that has been sitting on the corner of the street each morning and the soldier whose half of his/her face is gone due to combat is going to be passed over comepared to a guy or girl that "looks attractive." Is it right? Of course not. You can't get to know someone until you take the time to get to know him, or her. My professor saidit best in that you don't fall in love. You learn to love. He was married for 50 years before passing away from cancer Easter of 2014.
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Well, I think physical attraction is a (small) part of love, most people do enjoy looking at their bf/gf (I assume anyway .p ).
But that don't mean you can make a recipe for what your future gf/bf should look like of course.
Also, I think that if you love someone, they become beautiful in your eyes anyway
But that don't mean you can make a recipe for what your future gf/bf should look like of course.
Also, I think that if you love someone, they become beautiful in your eyes anyway
I don't think ONLY Jesus is important in a relationship. I agree it's most important. But you can love someone, be best buds, and not make suitable living companions. Two people with incompatible personalities or opposite living preferences can fall in love. This makes sense, because if love was all you needed for a successful relationship, you probably would've married your first boy/girlfriend.
That's why the first question my pastor asked David and I after we were engaged was "Why do you want to get married BESIDES that you love each other?" Neither of us was taken aback or caught off guard and was able to answer right away. You can't live on love, even a mutal love for God, there HAS to be more. That's where learning to love comes in - learning to love despite not getting what you want.
I have always liked a more stocky build, tall or not, dark hair, and a little facial hair. I have dated light haired men; I have dated skinny men. So while I like certain things, I will bend. I always wanted a deeply theological, liberal arts inclined mind. My husband is not interested much in detailed theology though he can carry on a conversation about it, and he is far more technical minded than abstract. But you know what? I think that's good because we compliment and learn from one another. Iron sharpens iron.
I used to want someone that agreed with everything I thought theological as well as other opinions, or very close. How boring would that be? What would we talk about? We have many of the same sentiments, esp in what I think are key areas to be in agreement on. But we do disagree on some major topics and since we are able to talk without being adversarial of what we don't like, we learn new things from one another and we challenge one another to think in new ways. I think that's healthy and good for a relationship.
That's why the first question my pastor asked David and I after we were engaged was "Why do you want to get married BESIDES that you love each other?" Neither of us was taken aback or caught off guard and was able to answer right away. You can't live on love, even a mutal love for God, there HAS to be more. That's where learning to love comes in - learning to love despite not getting what you want.
I have always liked a more stocky build, tall or not, dark hair, and a little facial hair. I have dated light haired men; I have dated skinny men. So while I like certain things, I will bend. I always wanted a deeply theological, liberal arts inclined mind. My husband is not interested much in detailed theology though he can carry on a conversation about it, and he is far more technical minded than abstract. But you know what? I think that's good because we compliment and learn from one another. Iron sharpens iron.
I used to want someone that agreed with everything I thought theological as well as other opinions, or very close. How boring would that be? What would we talk about? We have many of the same sentiments, esp in what I think are key areas to be in agreement on. But we do disagree on some major topics and since we are able to talk without being adversarial of what we don't like, we learn new things from one another and we challenge one another to think in new ways. I think that's healthy and good for a relationship.
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