I like a guy who has a girlfriend...

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SapphireNat

Guest
#1
Basically I wanted to change a church so I started hang out to the people from that church. I met a guy and I fell in love with him. I was praying for him and me. in 5 days he changed his relationship status "in relationship". even I am praying to let him go. I have feelings for him. I respect his relationship and do not want to interfere with it. I have no idea what I should do. I am fighting my own feelings. I am a new christian and I wanted to start going to that church because they have a good community, but now I am lost...
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
Didn't mention how long you knew him. But the way you talk it sounds like it hasn't been all that long. Chances are it's not really love at all but attraction, maybe infatuation.
But really, if you need to go where God directs you.
 
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MyLighthouse

Guest
#3
Being that your a new Christian, you need to really focus on being in a relationship with God.

Maybe later things will work out, but that's not the concern. Rather the distraction from the true concern. The true concern is knowing God and forming an intimate relationship with Him.

Best thing is to pray you'll stop thinking about him and that God would take the desire away ( I do this all the time) until it's the right season. Fill your mind with God's Word, listen to worship music, volunteer, and pray. Keep going to church and fellowshipping but don't forget the reason for it all, which to come to know God. Fall in love with God :D
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#4
I mean I am a new christian and I have a personal relationship with God. I grew up in a catholic family so I always love God, but I had a different relationship with him. I am praying to stop these feelings but it does not go away...
 
Jan 27, 2015
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#5
Basically I wanted to change a church so I started hang out to the people from that church. I met a guy and I fell in love with him. I was praying for him and me. in 5 days he changed his relationship status "in relationship". even I am praying to let him go. I have feelings for him. I respect his relationship and do not want to interfere with it. I have no idea what I should do. I am fighting my own feelings. I am a new christian and I wanted to start going to that church because they have a good community, but now I am lost...
You are not lost. Based on what you've said, you're already doing what you should.
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#6
That's infatuation, not love. Love is commitment and actions, not merely emotions. And you don't REALLY know him so you are in love with the IDEA of him. Give yourself a day to properly cry, eat ice cream, or whatever; then purposefully write him off as unavailable and focus on other things.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#7
It sounds sort of like you don't know him that well, so I wouldn't worry too much at this point. Just be careful around him, don't hang out with him more than necessary, and occupy yourself with other things.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
113
#8
I hate to be that guy, but if you think he's that spectacular, I would consider keeping tabs on his relationship right now. If it shows no signs of stopping, move on. If you think it is some sort of fling that you can wait out, by all means wait it out.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,857
9,573
113
#9
Basically I wanted to change a church so I started hang out to the people from that church. I met a guy and I fell in love with him. I was praying for him and me. in 5 days he changed his relationship status "in relationship". even I am praying to let him go. I have feelings for him. I respect his relationship and do not want to interfere with it. I have no idea what I should do. I am fighting my own feelings. I am a new christian and I wanted to start going to that church because they have a good community, but now I am lost...

Rule #1 for someone who likes somebody who already has a gf/ bf: don't even go there! Never mess with another girl's guy, or another guy's girl! I think this is more of a puppy love crush, rather than love, considering that you KNEW he has a gf and is happy with her. The fact that he put his status as "in relationship" should be a hint to you that he wants you to respect that and move on.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#10
Basically I wanted to change a church so I started hang out to the people from that church. I met a guy and I fell in love with him. I was praying for him and me. in 5 days he changed his relationship status "in relationship". even I am praying to let him go. I have feelings for him. I respect his relationship and do not want to interfere with it. I have no idea what I should do. I am fighting my own feelings. I am a new christian and I wanted to start going to that church because they have a good community, but now I am lost...
If he's in a relationship with someone else and yet you're crushing on him but want to respect his relationship, don't even be around him. If he sits up front on the right side of the church, you sit in the back on the left side of the church. Or find a new church to go to. Basically, don't put yourself around this guy if you're trying to pray away your feelings. You also have to take action, and by not putting yourself around him it will make it easier to fully accept the fact he has a girlfriend and for you to move on with your life.
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#11
If he's in a relationship with someone else and yet you're crushing on him but want to respect his relationship, don't even be around him. If he sits up front on the right side of the church, you sit in the back on the left side of the church. Or find a new church to go to. Basically, don't put yourself around this guy if you're trying to pray away your feelings. You also have to take action, and by not putting yourself around him it will make it easier to fully accept the fact he has a girlfriend and for you to move on with your life.


yes. I started to have feelings when he was single. thanks, I would not probably go to that church any more. far away from temptation.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#12
yes. I started to have feelings when he was single. thanks, I would not probably go to that church any more. far away from temptation.
I'm not sure running away is the best decision (although it could be)? Also i assume it is not a simple misunderstanding? Could he have changed his relationship status for you.... as in he is saying he is in a relationship with you? Probably a silly question i know, but sometimes insecurities can breed pretty extreme assumptions.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#13
yes. I started to have feelings when he was single. thanks, I would not probably go to that church any more. far away from temptation.
The main thing to go to church for is to listen to God. If you like it because you like the message being preached and you feel you can gain the most of God by going there, I wouldn't necessarily abandon it just like that. I just meant not to put yourself around the guy. I know from experience, if you have feelings for someone (strong feelings, actually) but they don't feel the same of you yet you're still around them, they won't go away. I didn't mean to imply to run away if that's what you got. I apologize for that, and could have posted it differently.
 
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MyLighthouse

Guest
#14
I mean I am a new christian and I have a personal relationship with God. I grew up in a catholic family so I always love God, but I had a different relationship with him. I am praying to stop these feelings but it does not go away...
Probably a weird way to put it, but you got to drown the attraction. It may keep popping up but you must keep focus. It will go away sometimes it takes time and it may hurt, but anything going to hurt if it matters to you. A lot of times if it's that instant of love, we don't even realize how not so perfect the guy or the situation is (it's call blind love and it does exist), find reasons that you should stop loving him. Like this: I do love him, but he has a girlfriend, he's happy with her, I want him to be happy because I love him (sobs). Let it out, let it go!
Keep praying, results aren't always instant. Keep respecting the relationship, that's good of you.
Here's a song to help :p
[video=youtube;qiJ71ZLkUSk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiJ71ZLkUSk[/video]
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#15
Basically I wanted to change a church so I started hang out to the people from that church. I met a guy and I fell in love with him. I was praying for him and me. in 5 days he changed his relationship status "in relationship". even I am praying to let him go. I have feelings for him. I respect his relationship and do not want to interfere with it. I have no idea what I should do. I am fighting my own feelings. I am a new christian and I wanted to start going to that church because they have a good community, but now I am lost...
A lot of what we think is love is just raging hormones. Or as I laughingly put it, love makes people stupid. I think you're smart enough to rise above that and answer your own question.
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#16
I'm not sure running away is the best decision (although it could be)? Also i assume it is not a simple misunderstanding? Could he have changed his relationship status for you.... as in he is saying he is in a relationship with you? Probably a silly question i know, but sometimes insecurities can breed pretty extreme assumptions.
his gf changed the status on fb and after he changed it too. he said at first "wow since when". I am not sure how happy he is in this relationship.
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#17
A lot of what we think is love is just raging hormones. Or as I laughingly put it, love makes people stupid. I think you're smart enough to rise above that and answer your own question.
yes I know the right answer to my own question, but it is hard to let him go. I felt like I met the one. I told my parents to pray for him. how silly I am.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#18
his gf changed the status on fb and after he changed it too. he said at first "wow since when". I am not sure how happy he is in this relationship.
Hmmm, might be wise to wait and be a little more certain what is going on? Insecurities can make us jump into hasty decisions, so perhaps it is a good time to just take a deep breath and be calm and just proceed as normally as possible for a while and see what happens between them and if they are an item, well see what happens with your own feeling, if you can get past it and be happy in that church?
 
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SapphireNat

Guest
#19
Hmmm, might be wise to wait and be a little more certain what is going on? Insecurities can make us jump into hasty decisions, so perhaps it is a good time to just take a deep breath and be calm and just proceed as normally as possible for a while and see what happens between them and if they are an item, well see what happens with your own feeling, if you can get past it and be happy in that church?

thanks a lot! I love God more than anyone more than that guy and I need a good community. I am not jealous or something, but I think his gf is a really lucky girl. I thought that he is the one when I met him. all I want is that he will be happy. if he is happy with her, I am more than happy for him :) PS I hope that it is a bad joke or something. I just started to pray for us ( a week) and this situation happened. and I could not believe in it.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#20
thanks a lot! I love God more than anyone more than that guy and I need a good community. I am not jealous or something, but I think his gf is a really lucky girl. I thought that he is the one when I met him. all I want is that he will be happy. if he is happy with her, I am more than happy for him :) PS I hope that it is a bad joke or something. I just started to pray for us ( a week) and this situation happened. and I could not believe in it.
I get that :) , Sometimes i wonder in life.... just when you get your hopes up the most for something, it is as if there is a big neon flashing bulls eye pointing there saying "things looking for somewhere to go wrong, strike here". It is enough to almost tempt me to look over my shoulder when something good happens, to see what has been scheduled to go wrong!! lol, but i try to stay positive, because the negative thinking seems to make the things go wrong more so (that's the power of positive thinking).