Longing for a Relationship

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Dec 1, 2014
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#21
You have hit the nail on the head!!!!! A local pastor of mine took a personal vow a long time ago to not perform a wedding if he knew the couple were already sleeping together. Needless to say, he has not performed a wedding in 10 years to this date, except for one couple who were living in a nursing home at the time, but were not 'bedding' in the same room. Now they are!!! lol
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#22
You have hit the nail on the head!!!!! A local pastor of mine took a personal vow a long time ago to not perform a wedding if he knew the couple were already sleeping together. Needless to say, he has not performed a wedding in 10 years to this date, except for one couple who were living in a nursing home at the time, but were not 'bedding' in the same room. Now they are!!! lol
I would think that, to discourage more sin, he would want to marry people who are sleeping together right away.
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
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#23
You have hit the nail on the head!!!!! A local pastor of mine took a personal vow a long time ago to not perform a wedding if he knew the couple were already sleeping together. Needless to say, he has not performed a wedding in 10 years to this date, except for one couple who were living in a nursing home at the time, but were not 'bedding' in the same room. Now they are!!! lol
It makes me wonder how he "knew" which couples are sleeping together. I mean, some are very open about that, but with others, it's more ambiguous.
 
B

BibleReader

Guest
#24
You HAVE to figure out what God wants from you first. Everything flows from that. I know, for myself, its my medical issues that are #1 in my life right now, God is telling me to slow down, focus on that and just dig into God's word in the meantime.

Once you understand God's priority, then the scary part is, following through with it. If that's becoming a missionary in China, then its becoming a missionary in China. As a Christian, we have a knowledge, with knowledge comes action, with action comes responsibility.
 
B

butterfly712

Guest
#25
Why is it so hard to come across a God fearing man?? I'm single n I long for a relationship.It gets hard but I Dont want to settle or lower my standards like I have in the past.

I just need some encouragement.
I'm the same way
 
T

twamps21

Guest
#27
I've come to the conclusion that there are God fearing men and women out there. Just look at all the people on this website. I think that the reason that Christians have such a hard time finding other Christians is because the young adult population today is ridiculed for being Christian, and staying true to their values. So the amount of wholesome young people is very limited. Luckily life isn't about getting married, we just have to focus of God and advancing his kingdom and trust he will bring the right person into our lives.
 

gypsygirl

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
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#28
I would think that, to discourage more sin, he would want to marry people who are sleeping together right away.
It makes me wonder how he "knew" which couples are sleeping together. I mean, some are very open about that, but with others, it's more ambiguous.
well, i am not sure how he would know they were engaging in pre-marital sex unless they volunteered the info. however, i'm really curious why it's so hard for him to find celibate couples. there ARE plenty of celibate couples preparing for marriage, but maybe they weren't at his church. doesn't exactly speak too well of his church, perhaps???

but i'm also not sure how it is that marrying a couple that is sleeping together is necessarily a reduction in sin. sure, you're creating a marital bond for those who are fornicating, but matching parts doesn't a marriage make. sure, in the short-term, it may provide a sin-shortcut, but the "sin damage" would be compounded later, when they find themselves married to someone who is equally incapable of the commitment to obedience and holiness that celibacy requires, not to mention demonstrating a lack of readiness for making a lifelong covenant with God in their marriage.

as such, if "i" was a pastor, i'd be loath to marry a couple who was engaging in pre-marital sex. or any other habitual sin issue.

however, for the record--i'm not saying that a couple who has had sex can't stop and repent, and resume their pursuit to holy marriage.

it reminds me of what my trainer used to tell me, and the "weight" being responsibility. if you can't manage good form when you're lifting weight, you're probably attempting to lift too much weight.

using that analogy, when we can't show "good form" or obedience in our current level of responsibility, it makes no sense to greatly increase the level of responsibility, or "weight". instead, the prudent approach would be to continue to practice and develop proficiency at the current situation, and only then to proceed ahead seeking a greater level of obligation or "weight".

but i'll say it again: marriage is not hamburger helper for the spiritually lazy. or the rebellious of heart.

finally, to the op: be of good cheer. all this time before you meet your potential spouse is the time and circumstances that are building your character and smoothing your "edges", things that God will use to help make you more capable and ready for marriage. i have waited a long time to get married, but when i look back on my life, i can honestly see how this time has been so precious in helping me to get to where i am today.

marriage doesn't solve your problems, or help you arrive at a new level of anything. i would encourage you to do as you've been encouraged in this thread. delight and focus on your relationship with God, and the matters that currently are areas of struggle and inadequacy. get involved with your church or other causes/ministries, and serve others. think of this time as the "boot camp" for your future, and cultivate deep friendships. : )
 
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May 7, 2015
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#29
You have hit the nail on the head!!!!! A local pastor of mine took a personal vow a long time ago to not perform a wedding if he knew the couple were already sleeping together. Needless to say, he has not performed a wedding in 10 years to this date, except for one couple who were living in a nursing home at the time, but were not 'bedding' in the same room. Now they are!!! lol
Lol..I'm tickled☺
 
May 7, 2015
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#30
I find it extremely difficult to find God fearing women as well. Part of that is because the times we are in. The other part of that is because I tend to look in the wrong places.
I can definitely relate to you on that..
 
May 7, 2015
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#31
I've come to the conclusion that there are God fearing men and women out there. Just look at all the people on this website. I think that the reason that Christians have such a hard time finding other Christians is because the young adult population today is ridiculed for being Christian, and staying true to their values. So the amount of wholesome young people is very limited. Luckily life isn't about getting married, we just have to focus of God and advancing his kingdom and trust he will bring the right person into our lives.
Amen! I agree! thank you and God Bless You☺
 
May 7, 2015
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#32
Never be conditioned to believing that you are just one of those wallflowers who never get noticed and will end up lonely. JESUS CHRIST is the GROOM and you are his spiritual mate. Dive into helping others, no matter if it is serving in a soup kitchen, starting a collection of things to give to a local nursing home, etc. In short time, you will meet others who have a deep seeded faith that goes beyond profession. Who knows, a male that has a heart for others, will cross your path and your spirits will gel. This story has a happy ending..never think lowly of yourself because you are NOT attached to the arm of a "Stud". lol
Thank you so much!Will Do!That was true,sweet, and refreshing. God Bless you☺
 
M

MyLighthouse

Guest
#33
Hey there! First of all, welcome to CC.

It could be a long wait to meet a God fearing man. In the meantime, you could use the time to work on yourself. Here are some ideas -
1. Understand God's plan for your life
2. Be involved in the church ministry
3. Focus on your career
4. Achieve financial independence and financial security
5. Indulge in some personal recreation/hobby like singing, writing music, travelling, blogging, etc.
6. Socialise and make new friends
7. Check off a few items on your life's wishlist (How about '10 things to do before I turn 30'?)
8. Travel the world

I know single life does have its moments of loneliness and boredom. But once immerse yourself into all these activities, you will start to enjoy your independence more. Always remember that - you are better off being alone than being with someone who makes you feel alone. This could be a God-given opportunity to work on yourself (see it as the glass being half-full). :)

Hang in there, sister.
Good stuff there!
 
J

Jna

Guest
#34
Why is it so hard to come across a God fearing man?? I'm single n I long for a relationship.It gets hard but I Dont want to settle or lower my standards like I have in the past.

I just need some encouragement.

same here dear, I FEEL YOU! :) there were a time i also long for a relationship hehe always remember that God loves us and someday He will give the man that is for us. A God-Fearing man who will focus on God more and will love you the way He love God. Just wait for your season and when that time come it will be perfect. and NEVER EVER lower your standard. you are PRINCESS of GOD. please never ever. :) just focus on God and Enjoy your season right now because I know that every season God is teaching us something. God Bless you Princess! Cheer up!! :)
 
May 7, 2015
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#35
same here dear, I FEEL YOU! :) there were a time i also long for a relationship hehe always remember that God loves us and someday He will give the man that is for us. A God-Fearing man who will focus on God more and will love you the way He love God. Just wait for your season and when that time come it will be perfect. and NEVER EVER lower your standard. you are PRINCESS of GOD. please never ever. :) just focus on God and Enjoy your season right now because I know that every season God is teaching us something. God Bless you Princess! Cheer up!! :)
Thank you ☺ God Bless You Sis
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,234
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Tennessee
#36
You have hit the nail on the head!!!!! A local pastor of mine took a personal vow a long time ago to not perform a wedding if he knew the couple were already sleeping together. Needless to say, he has not performed a wedding in 10 years to this date, except for one couple who were living in a nursing home at the time, but were not 'bedding' in the same room. Now they are!!! lol
Perhaps your pastor has a myopic view on who is worthy in his eyes of performing a wedding ceremony. This attitude will discourage those who want to do what is right in the eyes of God.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,234
16,243
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Tennessee
#37
Why is it so hard to come across a God fearing man?? I'm single n I long for a relationship.It gets hard but I Dont want to settle or lower my standards like I have in the past.

I just need some encouragement.
I am sure that this site has plenty of God fearing men to consider. No, you should never settle or lower your standards for second best. I have said a prayer for your situation.
 
May 7, 2015
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#38
I am sure that this site has plenty of God fearing men to consider. No, you should never settle or lower your standards for second best. I have said a prayer for your situation.
Thank you so Much!! GOD Bless You ☺
 
V

Vianneya

Guest
#39
Hey there! First of all, welcome to CC.

It could be a long wait to meet a God fearing man. In the meantime, you could use the time to work on yourself. Here are some ideas -
1. Understand God's plan for your life
2. Be involved in the church ministry
3. Focus on your career
4. Achieve financial independence and financial security
5. Indulge in some personal recreation/hobby like singing, writing music, travelling, blogging, etc.
6. Socialise and make new friends
7. Check off a few items on your life's wishlist (How about '10 things to do before I turn 30'?)
8. Travel the world

I know single life does have its moments of loneliness and boredom. But once immerse yourself into all these activities, you will start to enjoy your independence more. Always remember that - you are better off being alone than being with someone who makes you feel alone. This could be a God-given opportunity to work on yourself (see it as the glass being half-full). :)

Hang in there, sister.
This is good advice, I'm doing all this, but I'm tired of waiting...
And all of my friends are already married... It's painful I can say so!
But yes God just prepare us for the best ONE :).

Let's pray for each other!
 
R

Rhythm801

Guest
#40
Hey Princess, maybe you would be a princess to someone online right here even! You know you have not any pics up here as well so if someone was interested and single they could not say what you look like either. I still believe that there has to be a mutual attraction to begin with.

The Bible says not to be unevenly yoked as well , so maybe it is best to start with that . Are they christian? And some Christians say one thing and do another too. How deep are you into the faith? I am single too and struggle with being alone too. And sometimes you know that you can meet someone and think that they are nice , but just not right for you. But you can meet someone through others as well. Jim