Hey Singles,
I came home from church today feeling really sad and discouraged... let me tell you why.
While doing a few things to help set up for service, I had a chance to talk to a few other ladies in our Singles Group.
As I've mentioned before, our "Singles Group" is ALL women. The youngest is in her mid-20's and the rest are in their mid-40's to around 85. EVERY SINGLE week, if you attend this church, you'll step through the doors and see nearly all of these beautiful women serving somewhere in our church, whether greeting, organizing, passing out bulletins, working in the cafe... As well as teaching Bible classes or leading small groups throughout the week and helping raise funds for others.
And most of them all have the same wish in common--they would like to be married. These gorgeous, generous, loving women are always giving of themselves, and always pouring into my own life ("Hey there, Pretty Girl, we always love seeing you here!") and yet... year after year... they find themselves alone and without a companion. But they would very much like to be married.
I had a chance to talk with a precious older woman today (I see her as an auntie). She is a strong Christian woman who had a loving, Christian marriage for nearly 5 decades that ended only because the Lord called her husband home. We were talking about our lives as singles and she told me she has a hard time finding anyone who wants to commit or who would consider her age range because most men want someone decades younger. She told me, "Honey, I'm going to be (in my late 70's) next month... There is NO one. My only hope is to find someone in his 90's!!"
These are beautiful, intelligent, funny, and extremely compassionate women. But yet, year after year, they remain alone. Just. Like. Me. I pay a lot more attention to them now than when I was younger, because I realize more and more that in them, I may be looking at The Person I Am To Become.
I thought about all the "good Christian advice" all "the good Christians" give us singles... and these women (and I'm sure men, if we actually had any men in our Singles Group) are all following that advice to a T, as they have been for years.
"Fall in love with Jesus!!!" everyone says. And I'm sure these fine ladies have been in love with Jesus for years. But the desire to find a special someone still flickers in their hearts, and all that comes to pass is time.
I silently hung my head as I walked into the sanctuary and prayed, "Lord, I don't know anyone who serves you more faithfully or joyfully than these women. They're all so excited to see people come to know You and are so gracious to anyone who needs help or has a question. And yet, here they are, always alone. And I know they don't want to be. Lord, who is going to love them, or care for them, or cherish them or tell them how beautiful they are?" My heart often aches for these women, and I worry about who will look after them. Who will guard and keep their hearts?
I thought about this all through the service. And when I drove home afterwards, I prayed, "Lord, is this what you intended? Are you happy with the way things are? Is it your will for older singles to still have that romantic hope that never quite completely dies... but yet is never fulfilled? (After all, the Bible says that hope deferred makes the heart sick.) Should we all give up after a certain age, and do nothing else but care about the church and our other same-gender friends?"
I have a plan in that one of these days, I'm going to get to church early in order to hand out flowers to each of these women I see serving week after week.
But alas, I am not a handsome Godly male suitor to sweep them off their feet, as I wish each of them would find.
Are love and romance only for the young? Is there a certain point in life where you should just give up, or do we spend a lifetime wishing for something that may very well pass us by?
I came home from church today feeling really sad and discouraged... let me tell you why.
While doing a few things to help set up for service, I had a chance to talk to a few other ladies in our Singles Group.
As I've mentioned before, our "Singles Group" is ALL women. The youngest is in her mid-20's and the rest are in their mid-40's to around 85. EVERY SINGLE week, if you attend this church, you'll step through the doors and see nearly all of these beautiful women serving somewhere in our church, whether greeting, organizing, passing out bulletins, working in the cafe... As well as teaching Bible classes or leading small groups throughout the week and helping raise funds for others.
And most of them all have the same wish in common--they would like to be married. These gorgeous, generous, loving women are always giving of themselves, and always pouring into my own life ("Hey there, Pretty Girl, we always love seeing you here!") and yet... year after year... they find themselves alone and without a companion. But they would very much like to be married.
I had a chance to talk with a precious older woman today (I see her as an auntie). She is a strong Christian woman who had a loving, Christian marriage for nearly 5 decades that ended only because the Lord called her husband home. We were talking about our lives as singles and she told me she has a hard time finding anyone who wants to commit or who would consider her age range because most men want someone decades younger. She told me, "Honey, I'm going to be (in my late 70's) next month... There is NO one. My only hope is to find someone in his 90's!!"
These are beautiful, intelligent, funny, and extremely compassionate women. But yet, year after year, they remain alone. Just. Like. Me. I pay a lot more attention to them now than when I was younger, because I realize more and more that in them, I may be looking at The Person I Am To Become.
I thought about all the "good Christian advice" all "the good Christians" give us singles... and these women (and I'm sure men, if we actually had any men in our Singles Group) are all following that advice to a T, as they have been for years.
"Fall in love with Jesus!!!" everyone says. And I'm sure these fine ladies have been in love with Jesus for years. But the desire to find a special someone still flickers in their hearts, and all that comes to pass is time.
I silently hung my head as I walked into the sanctuary and prayed, "Lord, I don't know anyone who serves you more faithfully or joyfully than these women. They're all so excited to see people come to know You and are so gracious to anyone who needs help or has a question. And yet, here they are, always alone. And I know they don't want to be. Lord, who is going to love them, or care for them, or cherish them or tell them how beautiful they are?" My heart often aches for these women, and I worry about who will look after them. Who will guard and keep their hearts?
I thought about this all through the service. And when I drove home afterwards, I prayed, "Lord, is this what you intended? Are you happy with the way things are? Is it your will for older singles to still have that romantic hope that never quite completely dies... but yet is never fulfilled? (After all, the Bible says that hope deferred makes the heart sick.) Should we all give up after a certain age, and do nothing else but care about the church and our other same-gender friends?"
I have a plan in that one of these days, I'm going to get to church early in order to hand out flowers to each of these women I see serving week after week.
But alas, I am not a handsome Godly male suitor to sweep them off their feet, as I wish each of them would find.
Are love and romance only for the young? Is there a certain point in life where you should just give up, or do we spend a lifetime wishing for something that may very well pass us by?
