Attracting Someone, Manipulating Someone, and Convincing Someone?

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skylove7

Guest
#21
It's not manipulative if you are inspired to make positive changes in your life. It's a problem if you are portraying yourself to be something that you are not.
Awesome Misty! Right on! :)
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#22
Oh no!

Those "improving" changes a person asked another...

They might ask you to shave each day (it´s well understood if that beard is rough and affects her skin each time they have their intimacy).

They might ask you to get your hair cut, in a fashion she likes (it´s understood she llikes that, you´re not living alone: Now)

But, when yuo asked her to limit herself to YOUR budget, she cries and demands.

When you ask: "Please, don´t lose your charming shape" you know how she would behave and you know the things she´s said: "LOVE ME AS I AM" (The selfish way a funnel asks!)

My mom is 75 years old, now and, the way I see she behaves, gave me enough life "experience" to know the robe...



He! He!

She loves to dye her hair, to move her furniture and her kitchen. She loves to move the "bulky" stuff I left the room I use each time I pay her a visit... Ladies are good to change things, to change your things but, the things you´ve wanted to be changed CAN BE eternally POSTONED.



Oh! I know it is manipulative but, sometimes, a change is needed. ;)
 

gypsygirl

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#24
there's a difference between putting your best foot forward and being two different people. one thing i've observed that may factor here is a phenomena that happens when you're around other christians that you respect.

it's like a positive version of peer pressure. you are more cautious and aware of what is right and wrong, and i think sometimes that influence can push us to be the best version of ourselves. this influence is often subtly referenced in the bible, in both the good and bad version, i.e. (bad company corrupts morals, etc).

there's another factor i've observed when you spend time with someone whom you connect with. it's like their influence (personality or whatever) seems to inspire the best version of yourself.

however, barring those examples, if you're behaving deliberately with more exaggerated qualities, and embellishing your truth, that would be entirely wrong and deceitful.

Oh no!

Those "improving" changes a person asked another...

They might ask you to shave each day (it´s well understood if that beard is rough and affects her skin each time they have their intimacy).

They might ask you to get your hair cut, in a fashion she likes (it´s understood she llikes that, you´re not living alone: Now)

But, when yuo asked her to limit herself to YOUR budget, she cries and demands.

When you ask: "Please, don´t lose your charming shape" you know how she would behave and you know the things she´s said: "LOVE ME AS I AM" (The selfish way a funnel asks!)

My mom is 75 years old, now and, the way I see she behaves, gave me enough life "experience" to know the robe...



He! He!

She loves to dye her hair, to move her furniture and her kitchen. She loves to move the "bulky" stuff I left the room I use each time I pay her a visit... Ladies are good to change things, to change your things but, the things you´ve wanted to be changed CAN BE eternally POSTONED.



Oh! I know it is manipulative but, sometimes, a change is needed. ;)
i'm not sure not sure how the op's question posed about presenting a "better than usual" impression inspires your need to post a photo of how to tie a hangman's noose.

that's a little creepy.

however, it's very unfortunate that you have such a poor impression of women. : )
 
Jun 25, 2010
707
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#25
Imagine if you were interested in someone, often times, you may want to be more positive around that person... more friendly... more open or accepting of the person. You put your best leg out...
I do think that is manipulating. Eventually, if you do that, the real you will come out. The longer you're around someone, the more comfortable you become to show your true colors. You can only be fake for so long before you get tired of doing so.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,780
8,087
113
#26
If you're doing that willingly, yeah, it's definitely dishonest, and smacks of manipulation. On the other hand...

Sometimes, the right person brings out a better version of you, without you even trying or doing anything. ^_^
When I was in love with you
Then I was clean and brave
And miles around the wonder grew
How well I did behave

And now the fancy passes by
And nothing shall remain
And miles around they'll say that I
Am quite myself again

~ James Thurber
 
M

MyLighthouse

Guest
#27
Problem... What if this person isn't the right person and you're telling them everything about yourself? I think it's the whole part of building trust, not manipulating. Again I think a person knows, you can spot intentions. If someone isn't really kind or compassionate or empathic, etc. it doesn't take long until they begin to show that. Really a person should test those things.

Showing the good side of your face and waiting until you can trust the person to show the other half of your face, is just wise to me.
 
L

lilbittie

Guest
#28
I have to be honest. I dislike manipulation of any kind. I am niave and gullible, point blank. When I have found that I have been manipulated I just want to crawl in a hole. Manipulation hurts whether your intentions are good or bad. I guess because I have been burned so many times.

If you are putting your best foot forward for the sake of courting beware because there are consequences. You act a certain way to win over someone then show your negative side down the the road it causes a lot of confusion. In this confusion stirs up emotions and we all know emotions are contagious. You start to feed of of each other and different types of manipulation occur. It's a vicious cycle.

if you are shy that's different. I am shy but once I come out of my shell I am hilarious and can be the life of the party. However, I learned over these last few years just being completely honest with your true self you are better off. Of course it's part of the relationship cycle to be giddy and happier in the beginning then later on show your more vulnerable side. Just don't be something you're not. If your the type that comes on strong then stay strong. If you're the type who eases in to things stay easy.

How many of you have been manipulated to the point of being terrified of being in a relationship? I have so if I see manipulation, and these days I'm very quick to see it, I run for the hills. I want no parts of it.