Divine Discontent

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Nov 25, 2014
942
44
0
#1
So, one of the main pieces of advice dispensed to singles by everyone is:

You should be happy where you are.

And it's often said with that kind of spiritually raised eyebrow that lets us know if we're experiencing any kind of pangs or discomfort in our current circumstances it's clearly a sign that we are a SINNER and we have WORK TO DO. (And probably we need to do this work before we'll be allowed to marry) ;)

But what if this "discontent" has a divine source? What if part of our job as singles...particularly those of us who are long-time singles...is to remind the Church that the already finished work of Christ is not yet fulfilled? That, in fact, we are a bride waiting for her bridegroom.

Remember, we're all part of the Body of Christ. Imagine that all of the singles who long for a partner are a kind of underlying, humming discomfort in the Body of Christ. Not because we lack value, but because our (seemingly unglamorous) role is to keep the Body constantly aware that her Bridegroom has yet to arrive, that He is still on his way.

Isn't insisting that singles "be content" possibly a way of just avoiding this pain and trying to shut it up? Does it possibly invite singles to simply "numb out" and speak the party line so they don't get any kind of social or spiritual blowback for their feelings?

Someone who has been single for a long time understands a feeling that is very difficult to articulate. It is that combination of genuine hope mixed with significant pain. The hope part we all get. It's the pretty side, the sweet side, the side that everyone wants you to present at all times. But here's the deal...you don't get to truly experience being the Bride if you pretend the pain isn't there as well. It's not the whole story. It's not the end of the story. But it's an important part that shouldn't be overlooked.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
I've not seen any of the regular, long term singles carry the attitude you proclaim is given. Often times, rather, it is said as an encouragement to others to focus on what's important and good rather than what they think they are lacking.

I just don't buy that God is behind making people so caught up in finding someone that it basically becomes an idol and a distraction to their walk, all the while making that person miserable.

I don't believe spiritualizing natural feelings in a vain attempt to suggest God is making a point is of any use versus trying to teach people how to be content in their lives and to not find their purpose and meaning in another person.
 
B

Breeze7

Guest
#3
PoetMary
You are very much on to something when you share about the singles discontent being a low sounding humming which tells of the unfinished "business" of Christianity. I have read a few different books which dealt with issues like addiction and behavior problems. Those variety of hurdles that people face are mostly always combated successfully by using a program linked with a higher power or spirit. People cover up spiritual absences or unfulfillment in their lives with problems like I mentioned above. It can be as simple as over eating. The mass populous wants more spiritual vindications and at least for politics or culture to be more spiritually involved or aware/considerate. If you look at AA( alcoholics anonymous) it works because it appeals to a relationship with a persons higher power. So I would agree with a big part of what you wrote above. "Talkin bout a Revolution"...
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#4
I've not seen any of the regular, long term singles carry the attitude you proclaim is given. Often times, rather, it is said as an encouragement to others to focus on what's important and good rather than what they think they are lacking.

I just don't buy that God is behind making people so caught up in finding someone that it basically becomes an idol and a distraction to their walk, all the while making that person miserable.

I don't believe spiritualizing natural feelings in a vain attempt to suggest God is making a point is of any use versus trying to teach people how to be content in their lives and to not find their purpose and meaning in another person.
I guess it could be said that the encouragement is a kind of dopamine for the pain.
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#5
I never really thought of the discontentment of being single as being a visualization of the awaiting bride, though I think it is a fitting one. Even those who are called to be single, and are content in that call I think struggle as well with certain things, and have that awaiting within them. All in all, I think none of us will ever be fulfilled until that final chapter when we become His and His alone
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#6
It's kind of interesting to me that singles are always, always told to learn contentment.

One look at the Family Forum and it's plain to see... that there are a lot of married people who are very, very discontent.

I know that Paul speaks about learning contentment in any situation, but I always wonder why it's the singles who are always talked to as if we're the only ones who have discontentment in our lives (and are somehow wrong for feeling that way when, as pointed out, some of it can be natural feelings of longing.)
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
#7
Even if every single adult christian was happily married, the church would still be waiting for the bridegroom..
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#8
It's kind of interesting to me that singles are always, always told to learn contentment.

One look at the Family Forum and it's plain to see... that there are a lot of married people who are very, very discontent.

I know that Paul speaks about learning contentment in any situation, but I always wonder why it's the singles who are always talked to as if we're the only ones who have discontentment in our lives (and are somehow wrong for feeling that way when, as pointed out, some of it can be natural feelings of longing.)
I think Seoul just lowered a boom...
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#9
I think Seoul just lowered a boom...
Hey Mister!

That's a KA-boom to you!!! :p

Seriously. We're all sinful human beings and if we're not content about one thing then it's the other. I think Zero and Zao are right in that no one will be completely content until we all get to heaven.

But... if a married person is unhappy because they're longing for a baby... Do they get told, "Use this time of blessed childlessness to get closer to the Lord!!! Learn Godly CONTENTMENT in your time of barrenness!!!"

I think not.

So why is it then that the singles always get (pun intended) singled out?

Or if they DO get told this, I haven't seen it... and I'm very sorry if they do.
 
Nov 25, 2014
942
44
0
#10
I don't believe spiritualizing natural feelings in a vain attempt to suggest God is making a point
Actually, spiritualizing the natural was exactly what God did as part of the work of the OT prophets. People associate the OT prophets with telling the future, but often their calling involved them actually living out the relationship between God and his people.

As a result, prophets would give particular names to their children that would be a message about the relationship between God and his people. Hosea married a prostitute and kept taking her back and taking her back as a living example of God's relationship to his people.

And I think is possible that there's a prophetic ministry to be had in being single. We live out an aspect of the Bridegroom's relationship to his Bride. By virtue of our position as singles, we feel this relationship keenly...in a way that others might be too busy and preoccupied to notice.

It's not about wallowing in misery and calling that "holy." It's about acknowledging suffering and seeing it as a connection to Jesus and a window for our fellow believers.
 
J

Jak795

Guest
#11
I don't believe that romantic relationships are required to function in life or to serve God. A healthy relationship is formed by choice, not by force. For now, I'm perfectly content with being single. I just don't really care for forming that kind of commitment right now. Maybe not even ever.

The phrase "You should be happy where you are" ultimately depends of where that point in your life is. If it's godly and you're making something good out of it. Then yes. If not, no. You shouldn't be.
 
E

EdisonTrent

Guest
#12
"complacent" who came up with this agitative :(
 
Apr 15, 2014
2,050
38
0
#13
When I was married and childless, I was told to be content with a happy marriage (which I did have). I was married in my late 20s and got the "be content in Christ". I'm getting it again.

I suppose this is one of the things Paul is talking about when he suggests that not marrying is better than being married, just the basic: You can concentrate on the things of God.
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#14
forgive me, as i'm married. :eek:

but in my (limited) experience, one does not have to be single
to be adjured to be content by others, who usually possess what they suggest you be content without.

but, hey, even God recommends contentment from time to time. :)
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
4,262
113
#15
It's kind of interesting to me that singles are always, always told to learn contentment.

One look at the Family Forum and it's plain to see... that there are a lot of married people who are very, very discontent.

I know that Paul speaks about learning contentment in any situation, but I always wonder why it's the singles who are always talked to as if we're the only ones who have discontentment in our lives (and are somehow wrong for feeling that way when, as pointed out, some of it can be natural feelings of longing.)
You're supposed to be content with your discontent. It's Singleness 101. :p
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,327
2,359
113
#16
It's kind of interesting to me that singles are always, always told to learn contentment.

One look at the Family Forum and it's plain to see... that there are a lot of married people who are very, very discontent.

I know that Paul speaks about learning contentment in any situation, but I always wonder why it's the singles who are always talked to as if we're the only ones who have discontentment in our lives (and are somehow wrong for feeling that way when, as pointed out, some of it can be natural feelings of longing.)
That's because when you are married it's so much easier to think it is someone else's fault that you aren't happy (marriage was supposed to make you happy, right?). When you're single well it must be your problem since you don't have a significant other to be causing the problem. Oh wait no, that is the problem: you don't have someone, what's wrong with you that you won't take the next scumbag that walks in off the street. Don't you know you need to get married?

(Do I need the sarcasm sign here?)
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#17
I friend of mine who was divorced by a scumbag (told her out of the blue that it was over on their 25th anniversary dinner!!) tearfully confessed that she was struggling with "discontent." Really, she is lonely and struggling with the loss of a relationship that she invested in over a quarter of a century. She needed to feel like she had permission to grieve what she lost and to acknowledge the lack of justice.

For the most part, people who try to guilt others for not being "content" have little compassion for what the lonely or grieving person is going through. Instead of telling someone to suck it up and be happy, they should instead show kindness, understanding, and hospitality to them.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,940
4,581
113
#18
forgive me, as i'm married. :eek:

but in my (limited) experience, one does not have to be single
to be adjured to be content by others, who usually possess what they suggest you be content without.

but, hey, even God recommends contentment from time to time. :)
This. So much this!!! The married person loves to tell the single person to be content.

The person with kids will tell the person without they should be content.

The person who's learned contentment will lecture the person who's struggling that they need to be GRATEFUL and learn to be content.

Now, God bless our beloved married people who come here and are so understanding and real with us (Fenner, Psychomom, MissCris, Oncefallen, and others...)

But I've been told so many times in my life by married people that my time of singleness is a blessing to GET CLOSER TO THE LORD and learn to be content with absolutely no sense of understanding that I sometimes just want to tell them, "Yes!!! And maybe God is wanting the same for you when your spouse isn't interested in having sex. Think of that time as a blessing... to get closer to the Lord... and learn CONTENTMENT in your situation."

Hmm. With all the threads we see the Family Forum about discontent within marriages regarding this particular subject, I wonder how well a big thread preaching "USE YOUR TIME OF SEXLESSNESS TO LEARN TO BE CONTENT" would go over...

Well, at least I wouldn't be preaching about something I have but they don't!
 
Last edited:

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#19
It always seems many want what they don't have and when they get it they want more. I'm talking about married and single people.

I'd love a house with two bathrooms with no neighbors but I can't afford to move. So I try to be content living in the city where I can hear my neighbor sneeze.
 
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#20
I did enjoy your comment about 'spiritualizing natural feelings in a vain attempt to suggest GOD is making a point..". Who has not been told that our personal sufferings make us stronger? YET, I have yet to find anyone beg GOD for suffering or more suffering to be added to their lives in order to become STRONGER!!!!! GOD is simplistic and it eludes us. IF we focus on something..it can and will become an obsession..good or bad, period. IF those singles are busy helping others and surrounding themselves with others who have similar ideas..eventually it is possible to run across a soul mate..who knows.