something I've noticed...

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jeremyPJ

Guest
#1
#1
I have noticed this repeatedly in life, but keep forgetting about it.

When in any kind of group, be it social or Christian setting, when women have problems with divorce and coping, they get lots of support from their group.

But if a man dares mention this in the same situation, he's treated as damaged goods, or a failure.

Is this a surviving leftover from pre-feminist America? (joking...)

It makes me wonder what we are supposed to say in groups, maybe we're always supposed to be uplifting?
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#2
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
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#2
Both men and women should be treated with the same care and respect (which, incidentally, would be fitting with definition of feminism as the political, social, and economic equality of the sexes). If that is not reality, then we need to work on filling in that gap.
 
p_rehbein

p_rehbein

Senior Member
#3
Sep 4, 2013
30,195
6,537
113
#3
Can't really say. This has not been my experience. If anything, I have seen just the reverse. The man receives love and support, and the woman is treated as "damaged goods." Can't say why the difference.

Either way, especially with a church family, both should receive the love and support of the congregation during such times. I can see how it could be hard IF BOTH are members of the church though. In such a case, it might be hard for the congregation to support both equally, given that there is a better than average chance that the reasons for the divorce are probably known by the congregation. One may not receive the same level of support as the other. Not saying it is right, just that it is probably human.
 
L

lilbittie

Guest
#4
#4
I have noticed that too. It shouldn't be a double standard. Either way both sides should get support.
 
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Jeff_56

Banned
#5
Dec 26, 2014
3,757
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#5
jeremyPJ said:
I have noticed this repeatedly in life, but keep forgetting about it.

When in any kind of group, be it social or Christian setting, when women have problems with divorce and coping, they get lots of support from their group.

But if a man dares mention this in the same situation, he's treated as damaged goods, or a failure.

Is this a surviving leftover from pre-feminist America? (joking...)

It makes me wonder what we are supposed to say in groups, maybe we're always supposed to be uplifting?
Click to expand...
are you seeking yahweh's(god's) way or society's(mankind's carnal natural fleshy) way ? they are opposed to each other......
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#6
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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#6
I've noticed that single mom's get sterotyped a lot. Especially if the Father isn't around. Takes two people to make a baby.
 
Olerica

Olerica

Banned
#7
Apr 15, 2014
2,050
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#7
I think we can only be the change we want to see.... right? Treat people, all people, with compassion and care.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#8
Mar 13, 2014
41,312
16,300
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Tennessee
#8
I was divorced for 18 years. I did not feel that I had to say anything in groups. I did not feel like a failure, either.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,268
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#9
Because women are perceived as the weaker, more fragile of the sexes while men are supposed to be strong and self-reliant.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#10
#10
Honestly, I haven't really seen this. Instead, it seems like both genders get heat, but seldom any compassion─which is a little ironic, to say the least.
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#11
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
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#11
zeroturbulence said:
Because women are perceived as the weaker, more fragile of the sexes while men are supposed to be strong and self-reliant.
Click to expand...
Maybe that's why I don't really see it: No one ever thinks of me as fragile or vulnerable.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#12
#12
Yes, men often shoulder an unfair share of the societal blame and legal consequences while women often are given societal "passes" and not held accountable for the immorality, criminality, and poor behavior and choices they make in the same way that men are. True.


jeremyPJ said:
I have noticed this repeatedly in life, but keep forgetting about it.

When in any kind of group, be it social or Christian setting, when women have problems with divorce and coping, they get lots of support from their group.

But if a man dares mention this in the same situation, he's treated as damaged goods, or a failure.

Is this a surviving leftover from pre-feminist America? (joking...)

It makes me wonder what we are supposed to say in groups, maybe we're always supposed to be uplifting?
Click to expand...
 
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#13
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
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#13
Jeff_56 said:
are you seeking yahweh's(god's) way or society's(mankind's carnal natural fleshy) way ? they are opposed to each other......
Click to expand...

say what? english please.

but also, the english that even mildly resembles what we're discussing. we're not discussing anyone's "way", fleshly or otherwise.

i've read a number of your posts and i think we'd all enjoy greater elucidation with more generous explanation than the scant handful of words strewn together and attached to yahweh that you more commonly choose.

while you may have an excellent point, i can't decipher it.

thank you in advance. : )

on behalf of the readers,
gypsy
Misty77 said:
Maybe that's why I don't really see it: No one ever thinks of me as fragile or vulnerable.
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um, not no one. : )


 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#15
#15
We need to be compassionate to those men as well. Both men and women have emotions.

And yes, I do believe feminism is to blame for that one.
 
J

Jeff_56

Banned
#16
Dec 26, 2014
3,757
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#16
gypsygirl said:

(1) say what? english please.

but also, the english that even mildly resembles what we're discussing. we're not discussing anyone's "way", fleshly or otherwise. i've read a number of your posts and i think we'd all enjoy greater elucidation with more generous explanation than the scant handful of words strewn together and attached to yahweh that you more commonly choose. while you may have an excellent point, i can't decipher it. thank you in advance. : ) on behalf of the readers,
gypsy



um, not no one.
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(2) ditto. "not no one." (but for very very different reasons).

(1) RE >>> < Originally Posted by Jeff_56 " are you seeking yahweh's(god's) way or society's(mankind's carnal natural fleshy) way ? they are opposed to each other......>

normally, the average person, is seeking society's way. they don't care what GOD'S WORD says.
and
what society does and says is opposed to what GOD'S WORD says and what GOD says to do.
 
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RachelP03

Guest
#17
#17
I don't know, I think any person going thru a divorce, I personally am there for them or try to help them in any way possible. I know when going thru a divorce it just seems like your the only person who feels that way and your life is crumbling down and you know there are people who are going thru it or have gone thru it but for some reason it just seems so lonely. I am a very outspoken person who will share struggles and pain and I never want anyone to feel like they are alone or that they have no one to talk too.

But Im not sure if its because a lot of men don't share a lot of emotions sometimes. I think when women write in groups we can feel that they are bawling on the other side of the computer screen, lol. Women can express emotions more easily sometimes, but with men, I can see how it might be a little more difficult. I have came across men that I know are hurting but they are just reserved, so I have to just pour what I know in hoping that it helps in some way.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#19
#19
Olerica said:
Wow. This pic makes me so sad.
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The friend zone shoulder padding thing is real, and gave me a bit of a laugh. Though I don't know why he's trying to sleep with them - I thought the friend zone was when a woman wouldn't let you date her.

Though most of the guys who complain about that are kind of passive aggressive, or refuse to shave (I've got a friend like that... he's more hopeless than I am, which is saying something).

Rofl.... friendzone shoulder padding.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#20
#20
As with all messages, take away from it what you can qualify true and leave the rest behind in the waste bin. As people who align with God's holiness (even though we're imperfect and don't always successfully adhere to it), we believe in celibacy before marriage and absolute monogamy within marriage. The person who created that picture may not have. So we leave that behind.


ServantStrike said:
The friend zone shoulder padding thing is real, and gave me a bit of a laugh. Though I don't know why he's trying to sleep with them - I thought the friend zone was when a woman wouldn't let you date her.

Though most of the guys who complain about that are kind of passive aggressive, or refuse to shave (I've got a friend like that... he's more hopeless than I am, which is saying something).

Rofl.... friendzone shoulder padding.
Click to expand...
 
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