Listen carefully to the wording of an apology; the words that a person uses to describe their sin reflect what they really think about it. A truly repentant person understands the depravity of their actions, and that understanding leads to confession. Here are some examples from scripture:
But when someone just wants the problem to go away, they use words like "mistake" or "moral failure" instead of "rape" or "abuse." They try to minimize the level of their sin. While acknowledging that they did something wrong, they aren't willing or able to admit the full impact on another human being.
The wording is usually focused on the perpetrator without any real empathy to toward the damage done to the actual victims. Sure, the more religious will talk about hurting the "cause of Christ" or shaming their families. From my experience with attorneys for Christian public figures, this is little more than a public-relations ploy (covering their derriere, if you will). I don't trust people who put reputation over doing what's right; in the long-run, having the character and authenticity to be transparent usually ends up making a bigger difference.
Rarely will you hear someone say, "I caused real and long-term damage to innocent victims." But that is the person whose apology I would actually believe. They care more for the damage they did to others, than in trying to look good again after getting caught.
For more insight, here's post from A Cry For Justice and here's another one.
- Ezra 9:6--"O my God, I am ashamed and embarrassed to lift up my face to You, my God, for our iniquities have risen above our heads and our guilt has grown even to the heavens."
- Luke 5:8--But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus' feet, saying, "Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!"
- Luke 23:40--"And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong."
But when someone just wants the problem to go away, they use words like "mistake" or "moral failure" instead of "rape" or "abuse." They try to minimize the level of their sin. While acknowledging that they did something wrong, they aren't willing or able to admit the full impact on another human being.
The wording is usually focused on the perpetrator without any real empathy to toward the damage done to the actual victims. Sure, the more religious will talk about hurting the "cause of Christ" or shaming their families. From my experience with attorneys for Christian public figures, this is little more than a public-relations ploy (covering their derriere, if you will). I don't trust people who put reputation over doing what's right; in the long-run, having the character and authenticity to be transparent usually ends up making a bigger difference.
Rarely will you hear someone say, "I caused real and long-term damage to innocent victims." But that is the person whose apology I would actually believe. They care more for the damage they did to others, than in trying to look good again after getting caught.
For more insight, here's post from A Cry For Justice and here's another one.
