Wandering mind

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authorwannabee

Guest
#1
#1
I'm thinking that i'll be fine on my own. That i won't need close friends because i know my God is by my side. People will only hurt me, betray me and ignore me, but He never will. Probably i'm only thinking about myself, but its really painful always being cast aside by people you have given importance to. I listen to them, but they never listen to me. I open my arms when they are in need but they never once did that for me. I want to protect myself from the way other people might treat me in the future so i'm thinking of not putting to much attachment to anyone, is this okay? Or am i being self-centered? Thank you for those who bothered to share there thoughts
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#2
#2
what i have learnt in life, a negative attitude tends to attract more negative outcomes, fear tends to have a strong self for-filling element to it. So I think it is important to risk, i think it is important to always be positive and believe in people, and although it will not always work out, it is really a much better way of living and you will be much happier for it.

Also putting ourselves out there to risk being hurt by people reminds us to appreciate how much God puts himself out there for us :)
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#3
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#3
authorwannabee said:
I'm thinking that i'll be fine on my own. That i won't need close friends because i know my God is by my side. People will only hurt me, betray me and ignore me, but He never will. Probably i'm only thinking about myself, but its really painful always being cast aside by people you have given importance to. I listen to them, but they never listen to me. I open my arms when they are in need but they never once did that for me. I want to protect myself from the way other people might treat me in the future so i'm thinking of not putting to much attachment to anyone, is this okay? Or am i being self-centered? Thank you for those who bothered to share there thoughts
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Take a break and heal up if you need to, but as someone who has a pretty low need for socialization and other people I can assure you that you will not permanently be fine completely on your own. God made people to be relational creatures. It's fine to have just a couple close friends you trust and to keep your circle of friends small, but being completely isolated is not healthy for anyone (as I still am learning when I suffer from too much alone time).

One thing you can do though is do an "autopsy" of your bad relationships. Analyze them to try to see your own patterns of relating that may be unhealthy. Because for myself I'm realizing that I have little right to complain about people not being there for me and things being one sided when I'm very reluctant to share my problems with people but fairly eager to hear them out about theirs and try to fix them. And sometimes my feelings send me messages that don't match up with reality: example: I feel like God always sticks me in situation X and completely ignore that I also have situation Y, which is much more pleasant, in my life currently.

Only other thing to say is welcome and we hope you enjoy becoming a part of our singles community. There's some good people here and it can be a great place to find understanding about the whole, there's more to life than having a romantic relationship thing.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#4
Aug 13, 2014
24,912
8,164
113
#4
[video=youtube;OQLtqUknpjk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQLtqUknpjk[/video]

It's not in my collection but this thread reminded me of it anyway. The verse is what her friends say to her. The chorus is her response.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
authorwannabee said:
I'm thinking that i'll be fine on my own. That i won't need close friends because i know my God is by my side. People will only hurt me, betray me and ignore me, but He never will. Probably i'm only thinking about myself, but its really painful always being cast aside by people you have given importance to. I listen to them, but they never listen to me. I open my arms when they are in need but they never once did that for me. I want to protect myself from the way other people might treat me in the future so i'm thinking of not putting to much attachment to anyone, is this okay? Or am i being self-centered? Thank you for those who bothered to share there thoughts
Click to expand...
The attitude is understandable, and i am entirely guilty of having done this myself, but recently i've come to the realization that, while you may think you're sparing yourself, you're also robbing yourself of the good you will get from others. I have suffered at the hands of others, but since opening up to people more i've also gained a lot that i was missing out on. Sometimes the problem is that we need to be more discerning of the people who offer ourselves to, to be slower and not jump in with our eyes closed.
Also you think of scripture such as 'iron sharpens iron', 'where 2 or more are gathered in my name there I am also' and the encouragement for believers to go to church, we can see that scripture wants us to be around others that can lift us up.
Not to mention the medical studies that show physical and mental health can lower when people isolate themselves.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#6
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#6
We need God. But we also need people. We were created for relationships. Please don't retreat to your cave. Don't give up on your friends. There is always good and bad in everyone, so we must learn to accept not only their good side but also their bad side. We are also capable of hurting others because we are all the same broken people trying our very best.

Life is relationships; the rest is just details.
 
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Stone5524

Guest
#7
#7
I've found that whenever I set my mind to doing one thing completely, god throws something across my path to make me re think my position.

There is a time for everything
 
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