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Mitspa
Guest
Is it offensive for a guy to desire a more traditional type girl, or to admire those qualities that we have seen in the woman who are from a previous generation?
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Depends on what you mean by traditional girl. Though, perhaps at your age you mean woman?
do you mean one who keeps a house/home instead of working outside of it? (Might be tougher to find a single woman who can afford such a lifestyle while single)
do you mean.... What, if you don't mind my asking
do you mean one who keeps a house/home instead of working outside of it? (Might be tougher to find a single woman who can afford such a lifestyle while single)
do you mean.... What, if you don't mind my asking
The funny thing is, I'll read about guys who want "traditional women"... and then they get mad when said women want to stay at home and be homemakers instead of bringing in the dough...
So I guess when I see a guy who says he wants a "traditional woman" what it seems to come out as is, "I want a woman to follow my every whim and direction, raise my kids, and contribute to at least half the financial support as well."
I don't know about anyone else, but generally, the "traditional" women I knew worked at home (which in itself was a full-time job, especially for my Grandma, who lived on a farm.) They were also all spitfires in their own way.
I come from a family of all stay-at-home moms, with a husband who provides, and as the kids get older, the moms are looking for jobs as a means of using their talents and wanting to contribute to society, not because their husbands expect them to work. They're very fortunate to be in positions where working is actually optional.
Except for me. I'm kind of the black sheep. I've never been around a guy who was a provider (except my family, who would never let me starve in an emergency), so God enables me to provide for myself.
So I guess when I see a guy who says he wants a "traditional woman" what it seems to come out as is, "I want a woman to follow my every whim and direction, raise my kids, and contribute to at least half the financial support as well."
I don't know about anyone else, but generally, the "traditional" women I knew worked at home (which in itself was a full-time job, especially for my Grandma, who lived on a farm.) They were also all spitfires in their own way.
I come from a family of all stay-at-home moms, with a husband who provides, and as the kids get older, the moms are looking for jobs as a means of using their talents and wanting to contribute to society, not because their husbands expect them to work. They're very fortunate to be in positions where working is actually optional.
Except for me. I'm kind of the black sheep. I've never been around a guy who was a provider (except my family, who would never let me starve in an emergency), so God enables me to provide for myself.
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Mitspa
Guest
I think traditional in the biblical sense.... who kinda believes the bible and submits to its instructions as it relates the position of the husband and the wife.
M
Mitspa
Guest
The funny thing is, I'll read about guys who want "traditional women"... and then they get mad when said women want to stay at home and be homemakers instead of bringing in the dough...
So I guess when I see a guy who says he wants a "traditional woman" what it seems to come out as is, "I want a woman to follow my every whim and direction, raise my kids, and contribute to at least half the financial support as well."
I don't know about anyone else, but generally, the "traditional" women I knew worked at home (which in itself was a full-time job, especially for my Grandma, who lived on a farm.) They were also all spitfires in their own way.
I come from a family of all stay-at-home moms, with a husband who provides, and as the kids get older, the moms are looking for jobs as a means of using their talents and wanting to contribute to society, not because their husbands expect them to work. They're very fortunate to be in positions where working is actually optional.
Except for me. I'm kind of the black sheep. I've never been around a guy who was a provider (except my family, who would never let me starve in an emergency), so God enables me to provide for myself.
Thankfully the Lord has many ways to bless a family and those who serve Him, but I think even if a woman (wife) wanted to work they could maintain a traditional family if they keep their priorities . Most of the young ladies I have dated recently have good jobs and I don't think they would want to quite work? So im not sure this would be a issue in my situation, but I see how many families might have the need for both husband and wife to work jobs.... In my idea of the traditional relationship, the husband would have the responsibility (to provide) and the authority to decide these important issues.
Which previous generation are we talking about?????? Cave man? Walk softly and carry a big stick?
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Mitspa
Guest
lol.... no just those who believe what the bible says about the relationship between a husband and a wife
lol.... no just those who believe what the bible says about the relationship between a husband and a wife
But just think if it was that generation you could have Dino for dinner.....over an open fire......
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Mitspa
Guest
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Rosesrock
Guest
I think traditional in the biblical sense.... who kinda believes the bible and submits to its instructions as it relates the position of the husband and the wife.
That's great....pray one down. They're out there.
K
kaylagrl
Guest
Quote...In my idea of the traditional relationship, the husband would have the responsibility (to provide) and the authority to decide these important issues.
Before I say too much which important issues do you want the authority to decide? And why wouldnt you want to decide things along with your spouse.Women can give very good advice you know
Are you the type of an who believes the bible and loves his wife sacrificially first (as Christ loved the church), or are you the type of man who is looking to have his ego stroked and be called master?I think traditional in the biblical sense.... who kinda believes the bible and submits to its instructions as it relates the position of the husband and the wife.
Biblical traditional roles have two sets of responsibilities, and as Ol Frankie used to sing: "You can't have one without the other".
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Rosesrock
Guest
It's honestly weird to me that so many men seem to think "traditional" women are so hard to find, unless a stay-at-home woman is what they're looking for. I don't see the women here or in my peer group as somehow being "modernly fanatical" as opposed to traditional.
But most women today prefer or have to have jobs outside the home, so I'm not sure if that's what men see as "nontraditional."
I would also guess that many men are "unable" to host a "traditional" household in regard to finances. If a man wants a stay-at-home wife, great. That's totally up to the couple. However, he's got a lot on his shoulders as far as providing for them and an entire household.
He also needs to think about such things such as, if something happens to him, how is his wife and family going to survive? Especially if she has no means of support herself without him. What is he going to do to make sure his wife and kids can go on?
I know this has always been an especially big concern in my own family.
As I've mentioned throughout the forum, I've had the problem of much-older men hitting on me my entire life, and one of the reasons is because they're looking for a "traditional" wife. However, their idea of traditional is dependent, obedient, subservient, and a nice trophy on their arm who will impress their friends. In other words, their main concern is themselves and that they have someone to look after them, and who cares what happens to her (and/or their kids) after they die--that's her problem.
I was raised in a "traditional" family. My biggest question for a man looking for a "traditional" wife would be his motivation. It also depends on his idea of "authority."
When you have multitudes of women who have worked for years and supported themselves or families, it's very unrealistic to expect to put yourself over someone and suddenly say, "Now you can do this, and you can't do that."
A few women might be relieved. But if someone is used to making all those decisions... I believe there is still such a thing as Godly-sanctioned compromise as opposed to a supposedly Godly-established dictatorship.
But most women today prefer or have to have jobs outside the home, so I'm not sure if that's what men see as "nontraditional."
I would also guess that many men are "unable" to host a "traditional" household in regard to finances. If a man wants a stay-at-home wife, great. That's totally up to the couple. However, he's got a lot on his shoulders as far as providing for them and an entire household.
He also needs to think about such things such as, if something happens to him, how is his wife and family going to survive? Especially if she has no means of support herself without him. What is he going to do to make sure his wife and kids can go on?
I know this has always been an especially big concern in my own family.
As I've mentioned throughout the forum, I've had the problem of much-older men hitting on me my entire life, and one of the reasons is because they're looking for a "traditional" wife. However, their idea of traditional is dependent, obedient, subservient, and a nice trophy on their arm who will impress their friends. In other words, their main concern is themselves and that they have someone to look after them, and who cares what happens to her (and/or their kids) after they die--that's her problem.
I was raised in a "traditional" family. My biggest question for a man looking for a "traditional" wife would be his motivation. It also depends on his idea of "authority."
When you have multitudes of women who have worked for years and supported themselves or families, it's very unrealistic to expect to put yourself over someone and suddenly say, "Now you can do this, and you can't do that."
A few women might be relieved. But if someone is used to making all those decisions... I believe there is still such a thing as Godly-sanctioned compromise as opposed to a supposedly Godly-established dictatorship.
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That´s why AGE matter... As I mentioned another place.
Statistically chances are reduced when a person gets old (I know that experience personally) and, the "happy living after" would be good to see it when I read about Booz and Ruth.
Yes! The advice is good. As this prayer shows and I liked:
Tob 8:5 For certainly, we are the children of the saints, and we must not be joined together in such a manner as the heathens, who are ignorant of God."
Tob 8:6 And so, rising up together, they both prayed earnestly, at the same time, that health might be given to them.
Tob 8:7 And Tobias said: "Lord, the God of our fathers, may the heavens and the earth bless you, and the sea, and the fountains, and the rivers, and all your creatures that are in them.
Tob 8:8 You formed Adam from the mud of the earth, and you gave Eve to him as a helper.
Tob 8:9 And now, O Lord, you know that I take my sister in conjugal union, not by reason of worldly pleasure, but solely for the love of posterity, in which your name may be blessed forever and ever."
Tob 8:10 Sarah likewise said, "Be merciful to us, O Lord, be merciful to us. And let us both grow old together in health."
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Why not actually look for a woman who is from the previous generation?
After all, men always seem to want to do this in reverse... They want someone 30 with the values of a 65-year-old.
They never once consider looking for a 65-year-old themselves.
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Rosesrock
Guest
Very well said...... those in my circle, married young and started on one income, thus easier. Started raising children early, so that kept us busy with no real desire to work outside the home. Most if us were in ministry together supporting and encouraging each other, so that being said...... while you look for your type of traditional, that's gonna vary with age, back ground, and habits.
Seoul has a wonderful point in that hey, most women your age are working because they're taking care of themselves or even raising children alone. That's honestly hard to compete with when she's depended in herself and God up till now.
*Lynx jams a paw in his mouth and walks away quickly, but the sound of snickering can still be heard.Why not actually look for a woman who is from the previous generation?
After all, men always seem to want to do this in reverse... They want someone 30 with the values of a 65-year-old.
They never once consider looking for a 65-year-old themselves.
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Hellooo
Guest
Mitspa, are you referring to a woman outlined in that submission thread from the family forum by SirsSubmissiveWife?
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