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Hey now, don't act as though I was preaching at you. I was asking the question. Of course we listen to the opinions of others. Perhaps consider that I need to hear what I said too... because I do. Far too often other people's opinions matter to me. But the truth is, if we are following Jesus... I mean, if that's our goal, what God expects of us IS what we're supposed focus on and we know it and we don't do it? We're not choosing righteousness, we're choosing sin.
Reading what you've written above, you want to be justified in doing what you want to do, and the problem is, there isn't a justification. Do we get to choose? Yes, that's the beauty of free will. But if you get involved with a married person, you are choosing to sin.
I'm saying this very gently to you, I'm not intending to bash you over the head with this. Brother, I've wrestled with this myself in my own life as a single person being approached by a married person. So, I'm not coming at this from a holier-than-thou place. I've been down the road (to an extent... I woke up before I really got involved, as I hope you do), but I'm the one standing on the road waving a flare saying: "The bridge is out ahead. Turn around." You have your choices to make, but I'm going to encourage you.
Should you fall over the bridge into the water, I'll be the one to throw a rope to rescue you too... so don't think that I am washing my hands of this either. Does that make sense? Smarter to not fall off the bridge, but I believe there is redemption if we do.
Reading what you've written above, you want to be justified in doing what you want to do, and the problem is, there isn't a justification. Do we get to choose? Yes, that's the beauty of free will. But if you get involved with a married person, you are choosing to sin.
I'm saying this very gently to you, I'm not intending to bash you over the head with this. Brother, I've wrestled with this myself in my own life as a single person being approached by a married person. So, I'm not coming at this from a holier-than-thou place. I've been down the road (to an extent... I woke up before I really got involved, as I hope you do), but I'm the one standing on the road waving a flare saying: "The bridge is out ahead. Turn around." You have your choices to make, but I'm going to encourage you.
Should you fall over the bridge into the water, I'll be the one to throw a rope to rescue you too... so don't think that I am washing my hands of this either. Does that make sense? Smarter to not fall off the bridge, but I believe there is redemption if we do.
I suppose then the question to ask be; if the marriage can be salvaged to be godly? Divorce, except in the case of adultery, is ungodly. As it is said, two wrongs make not a right. So the hope is to right the wrongs. I think if we are being general and not going into a specific reason for why the marriage is not godly that the best route be reconciliation.
C
Think I need to clarify again after reading some of the posts. I am not asking to find justification for myself to peruse someone separated. I was asking to find some insight as I step into this situation myself. Uncharted territory for me.
I suppose I can take some of the comments to show me that there will be a general view with some that separating in the first place is wrong and shouldn't happen. That's a good start! lol
I suppose I can take some of the comments to show me that there will be a general view with some that separating in the first place is wrong and shouldn't happen. That's a good start! lol
Well, there's a verse in the Bible that kind of says the opposite. Sort of. Depends on your reasons, for the separation, really, and if it's to come back together stronger instead of as a pre-divorce arrangement. It's in the 7th chapter of 1st Corinthians, verse 5. Hopefully you can work things out unless there's been cheating, and maybe even then. Godspeed!
5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
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M
This thread...eek. Sooo...
Last year, I took my kids and left my husband. We were separated for about 5 months, and I fully intended to divorce him. During that time (and honestly a bit before the physical separation occurred), I found myself in a relationship. Ok, it was less that I found myself there and more that I was so sure my marriage was over and I wanted to be with someone new who could say all the right things to make me feel like maybe I wasn't as worthless, ugly, unloveable as I thought.
Anyway! Back to my point here-
God had other plans for me and my family. Even my stupid, stupid choice to be with this other guy didn't get in the way of God salvaging my marriage. And I'm beyond grateful that He did and my marriage is better now than it ever was before, even with the healing both of us are going through.
So my advice to you is...
Stay away from separated (MARRIED) women. Even aside from the possibility of them reconciling with their husband, it's a bad idea for so many reasons. Speaking from my own experience having Been separated and facing being a single mother, gosh I was a wreck. My emotions were all over the place. I was completely unstable a lot of the time, just from the stress and sadness and...everything. I honestly became an entirely different person, and my decisions were...iffy, at best, during that time. So, if you go after a woman in a similar state, no matter what she says to the contrary, she's super vulnerable and it would be taking advantage of her (not that she isn't still responsible for her choices, of course she is).
Again, this is my own experience, but I just can't stress enough that you should stay away from a woman who is separated.
Last year, I took my kids and left my husband. We were separated for about 5 months, and I fully intended to divorce him. During that time (and honestly a bit before the physical separation occurred), I found myself in a relationship. Ok, it was less that I found myself there and more that I was so sure my marriage was over and I wanted to be with someone new who could say all the right things to make me feel like maybe I wasn't as worthless, ugly, unloveable as I thought.
Anyway! Back to my point here-
God had other plans for me and my family. Even my stupid, stupid choice to be with this other guy didn't get in the way of God salvaging my marriage. And I'm beyond grateful that He did and my marriage is better now than it ever was before, even with the healing both of us are going through.
So my advice to you is...
Stay away from separated (MARRIED) women. Even aside from the possibility of them reconciling with their husband, it's a bad idea for so many reasons. Speaking from my own experience having Been separated and facing being a single mother, gosh I was a wreck. My emotions were all over the place. I was completely unstable a lot of the time, just from the stress and sadness and...everything. I honestly became an entirely different person, and my decisions were...iffy, at best, during that time. So, if you go after a woman in a similar state, no matter what she says to the contrary, she's super vulnerable and it would be taking advantage of her (not that she isn't still responsible for her choices, of course she is).
Again, this is my own experience, but I just can't stress enough that you should stay away from a woman who is separated.