View Poll Results: Would you ever date a man/woman with children?

Voters
26. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, I would ONLY DATE someone with children

    1 3.85%
  • Yes, I would MARRY someone with children

    17 65.38%
  • No, I would NOT DATE OR MARRY someone with children

    6 23.08%
  • Maybe DATE, but NOT MARRY

    2 7.69%
  • I'm not sure, maybe

    3 11.54%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Results 1 to 11 of 11

Christian Singles Forum

Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.

Thread: Kids??

  1. #1
    FaithAndHope
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    Default Kids??

    I'm not single, I'm married, with two great kids. Two girls, one is 7, the other is 1. But, my husband has told me that he doesnt want to be a part of our family anymore. He suffered from a head injury, and has gone back and forth between leaving and staying for awhile. I assume it will happen eventually. But, thinking about the future, I wonder, would a truly Christian man ever marry or even date someone with children? Someone who is divorced? I don't know. I think that once my husband eventually makes up his mind, and leaves us, I will probably never date or marry again, and not just because I think its not an option, but I dont think I would trust a new guy in my daughters' lives.

    What is you're opinion?

  2. #2
    loeza89
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    Default Re: Kids??

    I cant really say anything on the subject i have no children and im not married but i don't think its important to me if the girl i choose to marry has kids or not it seems kind of silly for that to be a factor that changes a mans opinion about marrying you or even dating you

  3. #3
    JoyBelle
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    Default Re: Kids??

    I'm so sorry for the pain that you're going through. My ex-husband left me 4 years ago. Just know that the Lord can do anything in your future.
    But, I would tell you, as my pastor and elders advised me, that until you are NOT legally married to your husband, you should focus on your covenant before the Lord to your marriage. Nothing can stop the Lord from keeping your husband there, if that is His will. I'll be praying for you, that the Lord will comfort you with His love and that you will find your hope in Him!

  4. #4
    FaithAndHope
    Guest

    Default Re: Kids??

    Thank you JoyBelle. That is what I've been doing. Everything I can to make sure I'm being the best wife, and the most Godly wife I can. I understand that my marriage is not just a covenant between my husband and I, but my husband, myself, and God. I do not want to see our marriage end, but I'm really starting to lose this battle... Thank you so much for the prayers and encouragement.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Pheonix's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Kids??

    I would be willing to marry someone who had kids. Despite the fact I have no idea how I'd fit into a situation like that. I think the biggest reason men aren't always interested is because they see the mountain and a whole lot of work, they get nervous and fear sets in. Fear they will fail, won't be able to handle the situation. any number of reasons.

    Personally I think its kind of stupid not to consider marrying a woman just because she has kids. Just think of the knowledge well you have to draw on. Besides sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump off the ledge, and despite your fear, trust that you will learn to fly before you hit bottom.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Kids??

    Quote Originally Posted by FaithAndHope View Post
    I'm not single, I'm married, with two great kids. Two girls, one is 7, the other is 1. But, my husband has told me that he doesnt want to be a part of our family anymore. He suffered from a head injury, and has gone back and forth between leaving and staying for awhile. I assume it will happen eventually. But, thinking about the future, I wonder, would a truly Christian man ever marry or even date someone with children? Someone who is divorced? I don't know. I think that once my husband eventually makes up his mind, and leaves us, I will probably never date or marry again, and not just because I think its not an option, but I dont think I would trust a new guy in my daughters' lives.

    What is you're opinion?
    FaithAndHope, have you brought up the subject of Matthew 19:8-9 to your husband before? Is he a Christian? Why does your husband not want to be a part of your family? He married you for a reason, didn't he? He believes in Christ and in following God, doesn't he? In my mind there is no option but to stay married even if he has some reason to be indignant (which I highly doubt merits leaving his own children!). See 1 Timothy 5:8. This is greatly disturbing to me. I feel like ripping him a new butt-hole, but I can't judge because I only know one side of the story. All I can do is offer my prayers if you will have them. I hope things turn around, and I hope you will be serious about your marriage even if he is not at this time.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Kids??

    Quote Originally Posted by JoyBelle View Post
    my pastor and elders advised me, that until you are NOT legally married to your husband, you should focus on your covenant before the Lord to your marriage.
    I would agree entirely! I am greatly sorry for your loss, JoyBelle. I simply don't understand why Christians believe they can get divorced. At worst I like to believe that I would live separately from my wife - not divorce her. Divorce is both immature and abominable. I feel sadness, profound confusion and rage when I consider how many Christians accept divorce as a viable option these days. Not everyone is perfect, certainly, but how many adulterers does the Bible say will enter into the Kingdom of God? 1 Corinthians 6:9

    What the heck is wrong with people? Love God and love each other. Get down from your freaking high horses and be serious about your relationships. These are serious matters and yet Christians are throwing caution to the wind, playing with their own eternal souls and with God's heart.

  8. #8
    JoyBelle
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    Default Re: Kids??

    Thank you.
    My husband and I both professed Christ before we were married but then realized we weren't. Then I was saved and he only professed again. So he wasn't divorcing me as a Christian, but I totally agree. It is heartbreaking to hear ANOTHER story of divorce. I'm sick of them!

  9. #9
    Senior Member lightbliss's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids??

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    I would agree entirely! I am greatly sorry for your loss, JoyBelle. I simply don't understand why Christians believe they can get divorced. At worst I like to believe that I would live separately from my wife - not divorce her. Divorce is both immature and abominable. I feel sadness, profound confusion and rage when I consider how many Christians accept divorce as a viable option these days. Not everyone is perfect, certainly, but how many adulterers does the Bible say will enter into the Kingdom of God? 1 Corinthians 6:9

    What the heck is wrong with people? Love God and love each other. Get down from your freaking high horses and be serious about your relationships. These are serious matters and yet Christians are throwing caution to the wind, playing with their own eternal souls and with God's heart.
    Right on
    Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.

    - Heywood Broun

  10. #10
    Senior Member Hethr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids??

    Hm. I really don't desire to have kids. They annoy me and I seem to have no tolerance to the noise, etc. However if God puts a man in my life that has kids and I feel led to marry him, I suppose God will have to change my opinion about kids too.

  11. #11
    Member MaryR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kids??

    I am absolutely staying out of the divorce conversation, but I do want to say that I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. That sounds like a tough situation.
    I'd also like to point out that while you think that you'd never be able to trust someone again right now, things change. You'll change. You're life will change. Hopefully, if this marriage ends you'll eventually learn to trust other people again. One person may have let you down but that doesn't mean that everyone else will do the same. And as for marrying someone with children, if a man truly loves you and wants to be with you, he will be willing to accept your children as part of the package and love them as his own. If he's not willing to do that, it doesn't make him a bad person in any way... it just makes him wrong for the situation.
    Praying for you and your family.

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