Quit pushing him on me!

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K

Kaycie

Guest
#1
#1
Ok, I need your advice. There's this guy at church that is really annoying me. He's single and I'm single, so people keep encouraging him to flirt with me. I don't even like the guy as a person, but because of Christianity I try to control my feelings of disgust. It's not that he's mentally slow, it's not that he's fat, there's just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. And when he yelled angrily at his mom that he's not going to go to church more than he does, that just really made me think he's just going through the motions claiming to be a Christian, but doesn't really love God and studying His Word.

He keeps coming up to me and asking the same question over and over- if I'm going to continue homeschooling my daughter or if I'm going to put her back into public school. I keep telling him I haven't decided. It disgusts me when people act like there's a chance I could ever be with him- which there's no way, even if he was the last man on earth, even if a loaded gun was pointed to my head. I can't stand him, but I try to be mature and not be rude. But I find myself running in the other direction when I see him coming, and dunking out of his view. I don't even want to be in the same room as him. And I've come to dread going to church. I almost want to move, but I've done that before, and there's one in every congregation, though he is the absolute worse!

What do I do?
 
S

Sparky

Guest
#2
#2
Have you tried telling him flat out you're not interested?
 
T_Laurich

T_Laurich

Senior Member
#3
Mar 24, 2013
3,356
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#3
If the church is trying to set this deal up...
Start letting the church know that you are not interested...
 
T

ToBeWithHim

Guest
#4
#4
Sparky said:
Have you tried telling him flat out you're not interested?
Click to expand...
Or just start to avoid him actively and hope he got the message. Just curious, have you prayed to God about this?
 
P

Pres19

Senior Member
#5
Nov 27, 2013
779
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#5
Politely tell the church you're not interested in him. Ask them to stop trying to "hook y'all up".. Tell him you're not interested. I know you want to be nice but sometimes blunt is the only way.
Pray about it.
If there is something about him you just can't stand then just be blunt and say you don't like him.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
24,896
8,156
113
#6
Hmmm... well personally my opinion about matchmakers has a lot to do with proper use of flamethrowers. So yeah, I'm probably not a good one to be giving advice here. :rolleyes:

Matchmakers don't bother me much though.
 
violakat

violakat

Senior Member
#7
Apr 23, 2014
1,236
21
38
#7
Please ignore Lynx. He views flamethrowers as the perfect tool against anything that annoys him, not just matchmakers. And especially if anything gets in the way of him and his favorite food.

But seriously though, like several people have said, you may need to be blunt, not in a rude way, but blunt just the same.Something you might not have considered is that he may have some form of Autism, or just be socially awkward, and that's what you find off putting about him. And if that's the case, then you will most likely need to be blunt, as many do not have the skills needed to decode subliminal messages.

Lynx said:
Hmmm... well personally my opinion about matchmakers has a lot to do with proper use of flamethrowers. So yeah, I'm probably not a good one to be giving advice here. :rolleyes:

Matchmakers don't bother me much though.
Click to expand...
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
If someone tries to set you up I'd just look at them and say 'no' and walk away. You don't owe explanations and will can't try to argue with you if you don't give them ammo. No and walking away gives a loud and clear message that you have stated your answer and there's nothing more to discuss. If someone pushes for answers just remind them it's your personal decision and not up for debate or public opinion so you'll keep your reasons to yourself.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#10
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
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#10
1.) Politely but firmly inform him that you don't appreciate his flirting. Make it crystal clear that you enjoy being single.

2.) To his repeated question about homeschooling your kid, say "I'm sorry but that's really not your business. Please stop asking me."

3.) If #1 and #2 don't work, tell him to leave you alone or you'll put a restraining order on him.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#11
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
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#11
Yeah, honesty is really a big thing for me. Probably the most important trait for me. So in addition to praying to God, you need to step out and be bluntly honest with this guy. Since the church is trying to hook you two up, he thinks you're interested. So you gotta set him straight, and tell him otherwise. If he doesn't respect your decision, like Blue said, get out a restraining order. I will be praying for your situation.
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
#12
#12
Recently had a similar deal...so and so would make a good wife....bla bla bla.... My response was yes she would and I would love to see her married...just not to me :) I think the helpful church ladies got the point and I didn't seem like a jerk who didn't care for her...so I suggest who show your Christians compassion for this person and make clear its not a option for you :)
 
K

Kaycie

Guest
#13
#13
Thank you all. I'm going to talk to his mom about it, and if that don't talk to the minister about it.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#14
Mar 13, 2014
41,305
16,297
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Tennessee
#14
blue_ladybug said:
1.) Politely but firmly inform him that you don't appreciate his flirting. Make it crystal clear that you enjoy being single.

2.) To his repeated question about homeschooling your kid, say "I'm sorry but that's really not your business. Please stop asking me."

3.) If #1 and #2 don't work, tell him to leave you alone or you'll put a restraining order on him.
Click to expand...
She can put him on 'iggy'.
 
7

777011

Guest
#16
#16
You have to make a stand. You have to draw the line, you must set the boundaries others will run your life for you. James
 
7

777011

Guest
#17
#17
Take charge of your own life. Do not let others make your decisions.
 
S

Standing

Guest
#18
#18
I recommend you let this man know that you are not interested in him romantically. Be direct.
You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
Your business with your daughter is absolutely none of his business.
If you are not strong enough to speak to this bothersome man (with a witness present) yourself, then I suggest you ask your pastor to keep him away from you and to let him know you are not interested. And make sure your pastor knows that you are thinking of leaving this church because of this mans unwanted intentions/behaviour.

There is only awkwardness if you dont do anything about it. Right now. Once it is done, the telling him - which should only take about less than 1 minute - you will be free of him. phew. How good will you feel then?!
You are a beloved child of God, so you will need to act like it to get the situation sorted.

And you know what?
You are Gods beloved and He will delight in you resolving this horrid situation.
Its called stalking, and it must be stopped. Empower yourself woman. Empower yourself with God!

Lets pray.
Heavenly Father. Please help this young woman. Place Your hand in her life Father. Bless her with the strength she needs to stand up for herself and her daughter. Let her have joy Lord. Let her feel Your joy and delight and favour all over her life, and when she attends church service.
Please step in here Father and give the strength to resolve this situation. Your will be done. In Jesus name.
Amen.
:)
Thankyou Father. Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou.

God bless you indeed.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#19
#19
Kaycie said:
It disgusts me when people act like there's a chance I could ever be with him- which there's no way, even if he was the last man on earth, even if a loaded gun was pointed to my head. I can't stand him, but I try to be mature and not be rude. But I find myself running in the other direction when I see him coming, and dunking out of his view. I don't even want to be in the same room as him. And I've come to dread going to church. I almost want to move, but I've done that before, and there's one in every congregation, though he is the absolute worse!

What do I do?
Click to expand...
These words are highly amusing. I know they weren't intended to be, but they were.

Tell the matchmakers to stuff it. Most of them are idiots. Just because two people are single does not mean they are a good fit for one another.
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#20
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
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#20
<span style="color:#0000cd;"><font size="3"><span style="font-family:book antiqua;">[video=youtube;OP7k4LXM1rE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP7k4LXM1rE[/video]

..........
 
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