What Would Boost Your Self Esteem?

[seoulsearch]

Hey Singles,

In a recent poll, Zeroturbulence asked us what was lacking in our life, and throughout most of the poll, self-esteem was the number-one answer (later tied by diet/fitness.)

What, exactly, would boost your self-esteem? And what would cause that change to be permanent, as opposed to a compliment that makes us feel good for a while but soon fades away?

People often talk about self-esteem and the lack of it in their lives, but I'm curious as to what people actually think would make a meaningful, positive change in how they view themselves.

I have often heard from other Christians that "self-esteem" is more of a worldly term, as it puts the focus on ourselves, and that as we become closer to God, "self-esteem" issues disappear, because we are looking to God and not ourselves anymore.

Do you agree?

What do you think is the answer to raising someone's self-esteem to healthy levels, and keeping them that way?

(I'm going to try to write a poll--give me a few minutes. ) I'm going to make it anonymous and multiple-choice, but please, don't let that be your ONLY answer.

I'd really like to hear what you have to say here in the thread, too.

 

[LiJo]

LOL.....this would be a great thread in the ladies forum

 

[seoulsearch]

Doggone it.

I know I can't possibly list all variables but to be realistic, I should have also included things such as:

* If I had/made more money/got a better job/promotion that pays more.

* If I had a family of my own.

* If I had nicer things (house, car, etc.)

I know these answers will sound materialistic but they're real things that real people believe will really improve their lives, and I was curious as to what people think will actually make them feel better about themselves... They're also very realistic answers, as I can see where a man might say he'd feel better about himself if he got a higher paying job because another thing that would boost his self-esteem would be the means to support a family.

I'm hoping you all will fill in the blanks I missed and I'm looking forward to your answers! (Besides, if I make too many choices, someone will inevitably holler at me for writing too many options!)

 

[lil_christian]

Chocolate.

The answer is chocolate.


I'm just kidding though I wouldn't mind some...


To be serious I want to say more but I don't know how to put it in words right now.

 

[maxwel]

Chocolate.

The answer is chocolate.


I'm just kidding though I wouldn't mind some...


To be serious I want to say more but I don't know how to put it in words right now.

If we said something to boost your self esteem,
would you then be able to tell us how to boost your self esteem?

: )

 

[lil_christian]

If we said something to boost your self esteem,
would you then be able to tell us how to boost your self esteem?

: )

LOL I just really can't figure out how to formulate my thoughts into a complete and coherent sentence/paragraph that will pertain to the topic on hand. -_-

I'll try tomorrow.

 

[MissCris]

My self-esteem would be far better off if it belonged to someone else.

...what I mean is, I have a bad habit of being my own worst enemy and it's almost always Me telling me I'm not good enough in whatever way. Attention and encouragement are a temporary help, but in the end, I'm the one that's going to have to realize I'm good enough, valuable.

 

[seoulsearch]

I've also always been curious...

How is one's self-esteem raised when one is closer to Jesus?

Let me tell you what happens to me personally when I get "closer to Jesus": when I pray more, study more, fast more, and feel like I'm "going higher with the Lord", I'll tell you what I feel--I don't feel good about myself.

I feel nervous. Because has anyone read what's happened to all the people who dared to get "closer to Jesus"? They were whipped, tortured, ostracized, severely punished (be sure to read the part about David having to choose from 3 horrible consequences for taking a census, resulting in the deaths of thousands of people) and sometimes even murdered.

Yes, I know. We're all supposed to say, "I'm willing to go through that for my Savior, and more!!"

But my human reaction is... fear, not a positive self-image. Yes, I know someone is going to quote the passage, "Perfect love casts out fear..." But the way I see it, the closer you get to God, the more He is going to expect from you and and more He is going to examine you and your life (for things that need to be corrected), and, maybe it's just me, but that leaves me feeling worse, not better.

(For example, when I was around 35, I was on a journey to "get closer to God" and one of the things He convicted me of... was to call and tell my parents all the things I'd done in college that I'd thought I'd "gotten away with"... I couldn't sleep for 3 days until I called and told them and asked for their forgiveness. Not that I had a huge terrible list but it was definitely... not comfortable.)

 

[Tintin]

I don't rightly know. Learning how to grow in greater confidence would certainly help (does the journey ever end?). Having a full-time job would help me feel appreciated. Also, growing more in my relationship with Christ. But I really think it comes down to the last one. Everything else flows from knowing who you are in Christ. I just wish it wasn't so d@mn hard.

 

[jsr1221]

Doggone it.

I know I can't possibly list all variables but to be realistic, I should have also included things such as:


* If I had/made more money/got a better job/promotion that pays more.

* If I had a family of my own.

* If I had nicer things (house, car, etc.)

I know these answers will sound materialistic but they're real things that real people believe will really improve their lives, and I was curious as to what people think will actually make them feel better about themselves... They're also very realistic answers, as I can see where a man might say he'd feel better about himself if he got a higher paying job because another thing that would boost his self-esteem would be the means to support a family.

I'm hoping you all will fill in the blanks I missed and I'm looking forward to your answers! (Besides, if I make too many choices, someone will inevitably holler at me for writing too many options!)

God gives us our daily bread.. I don't think we need some high paying job in order to achieve that. There's nothing wrong with working hard to reach a point where God blesses you with one, but to be praying for one? I doubt think it should be the main focus. I think should be asking for A job, not a high paying job.. Love also realised the more we have material and Earthly things, the more we are trying to show people how good we supposedly have it, when in reality wrote a mess inside. Don't believe me? Take a look at all the famous people that die from drug and alcohol overdoes. They have the high paying jobs. Cars. Homes. Yet, were never satisifed.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

What I really need is something to boost my metabolism.

 

[christian74]

What I really need is something to boost my metabolism.

Metabolism is something I think about fair often these days - hate the fact I can get by with just one meal a day - definitely need to get back on the road.

 

[melita916]

i chose the weight one. i recently lost 20 lbs. took me forever, but i got it done! lol i noticed i feel better about myself. i think it's because i've always been chubby, and gaining weight is all i've ever known.

 

[MollyConnor]

I wish I were prettier. I feel like a plain person.
Also, I wish I were more interesting and that I could do well in sports. I think those things would build my confidence a little.
And of course, a closer relationship with God.

 

[Utah]

My looks was in my hair, and now that most of my hair is gone, so are my looks. But as I just posted in another thread, Tigger has self esteem.

Why? Because no one is better than anyone else. No one should ever intimidate you. Period.

 

[jennymae]

I feel that my dad has always boosted my self esteem from ever since I was a little girl I think that a dad is extremely important to a little girl, a young girl and even to a grown up woman.

 

[seoulsearch]

God gives us our daily bread.. I don't think we need some high paying job in order to achieve that. There's nothing wrong with working hard to reach a point where God blesses you with one, but to be praying for one? I doubt think it should be the main focus. I think should be asking for A job, not a high paying job.. Love also realised the more we have material and Earthly things, the more we are trying to show people how good we supposedly have it, when in reality wrote a mess inside. Don't believe me? Take a look at all the famous people that die from drug and alcohol overdoes. They have the high paying jobs. Cars. Homes. Yet, were never satisifed.

When I wrote about a better-paying job boosting one's self-esteem, I wasn't writing it from the materialistic point of view but rather more along the lines of someone who is talented at their work and is climbing up the ladder because all their efforts are being recognized. One of the things that helps us grow in who we are is work, and a natural outcome of that is the success and payoffs that come for our work.

Everyone is valuable in the Lord, no matter what the do or don't have, of course. I just heard a quote the other day (on a non-Christian program), "It's not about what you have, but what you share."

Of course there are successful, unhappy, addicted people. But one of the reasons I was kicking myself for not including certain options in the poll about work, promotions, and recognition from management is because I've known a lot of Christians who have become successful (and yes, wealthy) but of course, use all their gains towards the work of the Lord.

I always think of my former mentors when this subject comes up. They were extremely hard-working, very successful, and always working at the church/serving in their spare time, as well as providing shelter in their gorgeous home for many people who were going through hard times or escaping abusive situations.

 

[cinder]

I think having a job where I both valued the work I did as being important and received recognition and appreciation for that work and my accomplishments from people whose opinions I valued would be one of the most critical factors for steady good self image. But like Miss Cris said, I'm usually the one who thinks that I should be doing better and holds myself to higher expectations than anyone else does.

 

[chickwithsticks]

I wish I were prettier. I feel like a plain person.
Also, I wish I were more interesting and that I could do well in sports. I think those things would build my confidence a little.
And of course, a closer relationship with God.

Molly based on your posts and your picture you are anything but plain...

PS..God doesn't create plain ...

 

[Lynx]

For some reason I'm reminded of all the popular singers, movie stars, sports celebrities, etc. who become famous and rich... and they are found two years later in their houses, dead of alcohol or drug overdose, or they have blown all their millions and are living in their parents' basement.

As King Louis said in the Jungle Book, "I reached the top and had to stop... and that's what's bothering me." Or as Warren Buffet said, when someone asked him how much was enough, "Just a little more." I know a lot of people who want more (money, power, different job, spouse, whatever) and they think their lives will be complete if they can just manage to get whatever it is they are after. And I've watched them get what they wanted, and it didn't help them feel better about themselves.

I remember a guy my uncle Fred used to work with. This guy was always comparing what he got with what everyone else got. If someone got a raise he would complain that he didn't get one. Sometimes the other guys at work would have fun with him, talk about a bonus they got (that they really didn't get) just to tweak him. And it would work, he would get all upset every time.

I said all that to say this: The best way for anyone to improve his self esteem is to ignore what he doesn't have, what he can't do, what he is not, and thank God for what he has, can do and is.