So, I bought this book a week or so ago and just started reading it. It's called No More Christian Nice Guy, and basically says being nice is contrary to the Bible, and how people confuse being nice with being good. What is your opinion of nice and good? I'd also like to hear some input from women. What are your views of nice Christian men, in addition to those "bold" Christian men? There's also a book written by the author and his wife called No More Christian Nice Girl. The author is Paul Coughlin, if anyone is interested in knowing.
The Nice Guy
- Thread starter jsr1221
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Basically Ayn Rand starts with the premise "There is no God, we are here as an accident of random evolution" and concludes all her arguments with, "And therefore what you do doesn't matter so you might as well be self-serving and be a total jerk to everyone." Loosely paraphrased of course. Her book is hard for even atheists to read because they agree with 96% of what she says, but usually disagree with the "be a jerk" part.
What I was asking was, how far are you talking about going with this "no more nice guy" thing?
What I was asking was, how far are you talking about going with this "no more nice guy" thing?
The author doesn't go about saying be a complete jerk to everyone. But basically act like Jesus did. How He confronted people. How He called people names. How He got angry when He saw unjustice (throwing of the tables in the temple). The church focuses mostly on the loving, compassionate type Jesus. And He is. But He's equally the first part I mentioned. So, people wouldn't really classify those these as being "nice." So that's why I was curious as to what people's opinions on nice was, and to the women here, could they be with someone that is deemed a Christian "Nice" guy?
I don't really know what the book was going for, but my initial reaction is that I'd have to disagree that being nice is contrary to what the Bible teaches, as I'd equate that to being kind, and kindness is a fruit of the spirit, as is goodness 
.
I think often times the ones referred to as ''nice guys,'' are the ones who are quiet or lack confidence. So, I think it can refer to more than just an attitude. If that's what they meant, then I could maybe agree in that sense, that we should be bold and confident in Christ.
Anyway, just my thoughts. I'm not totally sure I'm even answering the question correctly lol, but yeah. At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with being nice and kind and I would hope any christian, guy or gal, would strive to be both of those things.
.I think often times the ones referred to as ''nice guys,'' are the ones who are quiet or lack confidence. So, I think it can refer to more than just an attitude. If that's what they meant, then I could maybe agree in that sense, that we should be bold and confident in Christ.
Anyway, just my thoughts. I'm not totally sure I'm even answering the question correctly lol, but yeah. At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with being nice and kind and I would hope any christian, guy or gal, would strive to be both of those things.
I have not read either book, so I don't have anything to say about them specifically.
You do not want to be scared of confrontation or telling someone the truth, because trying too hard to avoid those things can be very damaging and wrong. But a quick tongue can be equally as damaging. Pick your battles and don't go at it when it's nothing more than a matter of opinion. If you're going to be outspoken, be sure that you are correct and that the issue is worth fighting for.
Also, everyone should check their motives for saying what they say, and be prayerful about the way they say it. I think some people use "truth" and "boldness" as excuses to be a bully or one-up the people they are "correcting". Speak the truth, but do so for the benefit and edification of others and not yourself, and stay very far away from pride.
(I'm not accusing you of being prideful or anything, jsr. These are just very generalized comments.)
You do not want to be scared of confrontation or telling someone the truth, because trying too hard to avoid those things can be very damaging and wrong. But a quick tongue can be equally as damaging. Pick your battles and don't go at it when it's nothing more than a matter of opinion. If you're going to be outspoken, be sure that you are correct and that the issue is worth fighting for.
Also, everyone should check their motives for saying what they say, and be prayerful about the way they say it. I think some people use "truth" and "boldness" as excuses to be a bully or one-up the people they are "correcting". Speak the truth, but do so for the benefit and edification of others and not yourself, and stay very far away from pride.
(I'm not accusing you of being prideful or anything, jsr. These are just very generalized comments.)
J
Hmmm....why can't a man be nice and bold? Nice is equal to kind, caring, living, forgiving, gentle, etc. I do not think nice is walk all over me and take me for granted. Though I see many men like this. A bold man would be the Godly leader of the house, stand for what is right and lead by example. I think a great Christian man can be both. All the men in my family truly are.
N
Don't know about that one. Sometimes, when I would listen to Dave Ramsey on the radio, I would think he talked like someone who read a book like that. I purchased the audiobook from the secular side, with a title that's similar. Some things were okay and others...meh.
Just like so many other things, you have to read with a grain of salt or two. Pick out what is worth keeping and throw away what isn't.
My first thought when I read your OP and some of the other posts was to ask you, "what is the definition of nice"? What is Webster's, yours, the authors, and the bible? I think we assume too much sometimes.
There are a few books like that out there. Probably some good ideas and some bad, too. I read another as well, and it seemed like it took into consideration the religious aspects of life. It didn't promote one or another.
I don't think either was based in quotes from the Bible. I just think that if one wanted to figure that out, they'd have to do their own homework before going out and practicing and placing all their trust in some guy's opinions. Only put your trust where? You know the answer. So, why would you just believe what anyone says without checking?
Sorry, not meant to be a sermon. It was just some rambling thoughts I had after the first paragraph. Just trying to "think out loud" and hope there is something in there worth consideration.
Just like so many other things, you have to read with a grain of salt or two. Pick out what is worth keeping and throw away what isn't.
My first thought when I read your OP and some of the other posts was to ask you, "what is the definition of nice"? What is Webster's, yours, the authors, and the bible? I think we assume too much sometimes.
There are a few books like that out there. Probably some good ideas and some bad, too. I read another as well, and it seemed like it took into consideration the religious aspects of life. It didn't promote one or another.
I don't think either was based in quotes from the Bible. I just think that if one wanted to figure that out, they'd have to do their own homework before going out and practicing and placing all their trust in some guy's opinions. Only put your trust where? You know the answer. So, why would you just believe what anyone says without checking?
Sorry, not meant to be a sermon. It was just some rambling thoughts I had after the first paragraph. Just trying to "think out loud" and hope there is something in there worth consideration.
One last thing, everyone needs a different approach. Of course you wouldn't talk to a 5 year old the same way you would talk to a grownup. It's the same thing when you're taking to a new Christian, like how Paul mentioned that new Christians need milk, and then they need meat after they are further along in their relationships with Christ. It's extremely important to use the wisdom God has given you, and ask Him for even more, so that your approach will be effective and turn people to the truth rather than offending them for no reason. Offending them is not our ultimate goal, after all.
I may be off-topic now? Again, I didn't read the books.
I may be off-topic now? Again, I didn't read the books.
M
What is the nicest thing you can do for someone? I think it's telling them about the Lord and his blessings that await us if we accept his son as our Savior.
I like nice guys...no wait...I LOVE nice guys! haha I think we need more nice people in this world. By nice I mean looking out for the best of others. By being nice to others, we end up being the salt and light in this dark world. We attract nonbelievers and get them curious about the goodness of the Lord.
I have found that sometimes books, in order to go for a more radical approach, title their books inappropriately. I immediately think of Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman. Although it's a good book, I don't see why we can't also be fans of Jesus while following him.
I like nice guys...no wait...I LOVE nice guys! haha I think we need more nice people in this world. By nice I mean looking out for the best of others. By being nice to others, we end up being the salt and light in this dark world. We attract nonbelievers and get them curious about the goodness of the Lord.
I have found that sometimes books, in order to go for a more radical approach, title their books inappropriately. I immediately think of Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman. Although it's a good book, I don't see why we can't also be fans of Jesus while following him.
Nice has many many different meanings.
We can't discuss this unless we define terms.
That's the whole problem.
Everyone has a different definition of what "nice' means.
So everyone disagrees on what it means to be a "nice guy".
1. Unless we define terms, "nice guy" can mean anything.
2. No one is ever going to define terms.
(If they do, everyone will simply disagree, and nullify the definition.)
3. Therefore, there can never be a solution to the dilemma of being a "nice guy".
Sorry.
But ya know, that's just how it is.
We can't discuss this unless we define terms.
That's the whole problem.
Everyone has a different definition of what "nice' means.
So everyone disagrees on what it means to be a "nice guy".
1. Unless we define terms, "nice guy" can mean anything.
2. No one is ever going to define terms.
(If they do, everyone will simply disagree, and nullify the definition.)
3. Therefore, there can never be a solution to the dilemma of being a "nice guy".
Sorry.
But ya know, that's just how it is.
