What's the point of dating?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
K

Kay_Kay

Guest
#21
#21
Narn said:
If I don't like you I won't date you, if I cannot see any way that you and I will possibly grow old together I'll never ask you out. I don't have marriage feeling in the beginning of the relationship. However I have the understanding of what this should be leading to, and if its NOT leading to marriage and it becomes long and drawn out then its not a healthy relationship and we need to just be friends.
Talk about alot of pressure!
But thats Dating. The point of dating is to find your mate period. (Sorry if thats to simple :rolleyes:)

Attraction, error trial yeah its all hard lol but I think most would agree exciting.
Click to expand...
What can I say? Simple bores me. ;)

There is more to a person than marriage. I don't date someone because I want to marry them, I date them because I want to see if they're worth my love.. Marriage isn't the end-all be-all of a relationship, so I don't put much thought into it finding "the one" as most do.
 
F

Felanz

Guest
#22
#22
I think marriage is wonderful, if it ever happens to me. However, it can lead to a divorce too. I don't believe in getting a divource unless your spuse is threatening you or your family. that's why its very important to find "the one" before you get married. You shouldn't jump into marriage until you both know that you're "right" for each other.
 
N

Narn

Guest
#23
#23
Kay_Kay said:
What can I say? Simple bores me. ;)

There is more to a person than marriage. I don't date someone because I want to marry them, I date them because I want to see if they're worth my love.. Marriage isn't the end-all be-all of a relationship, so I don't put much thought into it finding "the one" as most do.
Click to expand...
Well I think dating is more about the person you are dating than you yourself. But I am not defining dating I'm defining the end goal of dating. If your end goal is "lets have fun" then three facts are to be considered

1. Marriage is a good thing Genesis 2.

2. To get married people date to find a spouse.

3.Dating means interested in marriage or should in Christianity.

In the world which we are not to be conformed to Romans 12:1-2 people date for fun. DISCLAIMER!!!!!!:This is not say that Christians cannot or should have fun dating. But if dating is only for fun then how are we different than the world?

Oh and also simple is pretty exciting. Also please don't think I am attacking you I am intrigued by your position.
 
K

Kay_Kay

Guest
#24
#24
Narn said:
Well I think dating is more about the person you are dating than you yourself. But I am not defining dating I'm defining the end goal of dating. If your end goal is "lets have fun" then three facts are to be considered

1. Marriage is a good thing Genesis 2.

2. To get married people date to find a spouse.

3.Dating means interested in marriage or should in Christianity.

In the world which we are not to be conformed to Romans 12:1-2 people date for fun. DISCLAIMER!!!!!!:This is not say that Christians cannot or should have fun dating. But if dating is only for fun then how are we different than the world?

Oh and also simple is pretty exciting. Also please don't think I am attacking you I am intrigued by your position.
Click to expand...
It's alright, I don't feel attacked. I understand you're just expressing your viewpoint.

The prospect of marriage has ruined a relationship for me. I had a boyfriend (who was Christian) who asked me if I could see him as my husband. I had dated him for three months and he wanted to know if I saw him as a life-mate. I told him I didn't know him well enough. He broke up with me because he felt like I was just "dragging him along" and holding him back.

He got married to someone else half a year later.

It scares me how people, regardless if you're Christian or not, force relationships to go in areas instead of letting things go there naturally. Why is fun wrong if fun is what the relationship is and nothing more? Let fun turn into marriage. Don't push the relationship into marriage just because you want it to be.
 
N

Narn

Guest
#25
#25
Kay_Kay said:
It's alright, I don't feel attacked. I understand you're just expressing your viewpoint.

The prospect of marriage has ruined a relationship for me. I had a boyfriend (who was Christian) who asked me if I could see him as my husband. I had dated him for three months and he wanted to know if I saw him as a life-mate. I told him I didn't know him well enough. He broke up with me because he felt like I was just "dragging him along" and holding him back.

He got married to someone else half a year later.

It scares me how people, regardless if you're Christian or not, force relationships to go in areas instead of letting things go there naturally. Why is fun wrong if fun is what the relationship is and nothing more? Let fun turn into marriage. Don't push the relationship into marriage just because you want it to be.
Click to expand...
Ok I get what your saying. I think there is wisdom in not rushing the relationship to marriage. I think if someone dates another for 2/3 years just for fun. Then I disagree. But I can't say that after 3 months you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Maybe after a year.... all relationships are different. I think in the situation you went through the guy was in to much of a hurry. Thats my opinion.
 
N

Not_The_Righteous

Guest
#26
#26
The prospect of marriage has ruined a relationship for me. I had a boyfriend (who was Christian) who asked me if I could see him as my husband. I had dated him for three months and he wanted to know if I saw him as a life-mate. I told him I didn't know him well enough. He broke up with me because he felt like I was just "dragging him along" and holding him back.
Click to expand...
Your experience with someone being too hasty and unwise does not change the principle: Pursuing romantic relationships should be something Christians do in effort to answer the question, "Is this person a potential spouse for me?" Letting it be just for kicks or for self-gratification isn't treating your own heart, their heart, or the subject as seriously as I think we probably should.

Why awaken feelings and allow things to grow for which you have no intention of letting blossom? Surely entertainment can be had in much more loving and wise ways.
 
K

Kay_Kay

Guest
#27
#27
Not_The_Righteous said:
Your experience with someone being too hasty and unwise does not change the principle: Pursuing romantic relationships should be something Christians do in effort to answer the question, "Is this person a potential spouse for me?" Letting it be just for kicks or for self-gratification isn't treating your own heart, their heart, or the subject as seriously as I think we probably should.

Why awaken feelings and allow things to grow for which you have no intention of letting blossom? Surely entertainment can be had in much more loving and wise ways.
Click to expand...
But I feel like people aren't wise enough to know what they want. That's why we have a dating or testing period, to figure out what it is we are looking for. Why does dating need to be serious matter? Of course I don't think it's right to string someone along if you don't have any feelings for them. That's disrespectful. But getting into a relationship and pushing it into something "serious" right away is a major error.

If Christians treat dating like a marriage proposal they will miss out on a lot of what people have to offer. That's just how I feel.
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#29
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#29
The purpose of dating is to get to know someone who might be a potential marriage partner. I don't think it's nice or respectful to date someone you would not be interested in marrying (to the best of your knowledge). That means if you would never marry a fat person don't date one. If you would never marry a granma don't take a granma either. If you don't like redheads then don't date a redhead. (Especially since redheads are known for their firey temper and revengeful nature). They have to fit into your criteria. They have to fit in the green or yellow zone if they're in the red you shouldn't date them. Unless you'd like the buffet option and don't know what you like then date lots of different people and find out how nasty people are and then need to bring yourself out of an emotional heart-broken mess that is convinced nobody loves you. I think the purpose of dating is different from person to person.
 
L

lil-rush

Guest
#30
#30
I don't date. Seems rather pointless to me. I can find out everything I need to know about a person by being friends with them.
 
N

Narn

Guest
#31
#31
lil-rush said:
I don't date. Seems rather pointless to me. I can find out everything I need to know about a person by being friends with them.
Click to expand...
I used to be of that camp but I am coming to realize since my definition of dating is to get married. That I will never find a marriage partner unless I date. That is our culture we live in. What are the other choices? Arranged marriage? I know nobody wants that. Courtship? well compare that to dating and its the same thing basically only with a very conservative spin. I can I say I want to date or court to me they are the same. Courting is the conservative dating. So yes to pick on you I don't think you will know all you need to know when you are friends with the person. When a guy sees you as a friend he will not see you as any more unless there is an agreement between you and him. Other than a possible reality in his mind that it could be something but guys don't go there in their minds unless its a reality.
 
L

lil-rush

Guest
#32
#32
Narn said:
I used to be of that camp but I am coming to realize since my definition of dating is to get married. That I will never find a marriage partner unless I date. That is our culture we live in. What are the other choices? Arranged marriage? I know nobody wants that. Courtship? well compare that to dating and its the same thing basically only with a very conservative spin. I can I say I want to date or court to me they are the same. Courting is the conservative dating. So yes to pick on you I don't think you will know all you need to know when you are friends with the person. When a guy sees you as a friend he will not see you as any more unless there is an agreement between you and him. Other than a possible reality in his mind that it could be something but guys don't go there in their minds unless its a reality.
Click to expand...
yeah. I believe in courtship. I think they are similar, but I don't really think of them as the same thing.
 
N

Narn

Guest
#33
#33
lil-rush said:
yeah. I believe in courtship. I think they are similar, but I don't really think of them as the same thing.
Click to expand...
Courtship is conservative dating only it seems to scare people to call it dating. What I say is "Stop being scared lol" but I mean seriously if that helps you then fine. But the principals are the same the guy and girl have a mutual attraction they get to know each other through different venues working toward the common goal of possible marriage.
Its all rather simple. If only you girls would make it easier for us guys to know if you are interested in us without going to far!
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#34
#34


Just think, this could be you.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#36
#36


this one better?
 
L

lil-rush

Guest
#37
#37
Narn said:
Courtship is conservative dating only it seems to scare people to call it dating. What I say is "Stop being scared lol" but I mean seriously if that helps you then fine. But the principals are the same the guy and girl have a mutual attraction they get to know each other through different venues working toward the common goal of possible marriage.
Its all rather simple. If only you girls would make it easier for us guys to know if you are interested in us without going to far!
Click to expand...
I'm not afraid to call it dating. I just don't think of it as dating. One may go on "dates" while courting, but it's still not the same. If you think they're the same, that's fine.
 
K

Kay_Kay

Guest
#38
#38
Narn said:
Courtship is conservative dating only it seems to scare people to call it dating. What I say is "Stop being scared lol" but I mean seriously if that helps you then fine. But the principals are the same the guy and girl have a mutual attraction they get to know each other through different venues working toward the common goal of possible marriage.
Its all rather simple. If only you girls would make it easier for us guys to know if you are interested in us without going to far!
Click to expand...
How many times does a girl have to flash you her ankles before you guys take a hint we're interested! ;)
 
N

Narn

Guest
#39
#39
Kay_Kay said:
How many times does a girl have to flash you her ankles before you guys take a hint we're interested! ;)
Click to expand...
Oh I'm sorry I am not fluent in ankle flashing language...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.