What's the point of dating?

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Tegelik

Guest
#1
#1
I only see two options when dating a person. You either eventually get married to him/her or you eventually break up. You can't keep on dating a person just for fun for the rest of your life. So I don't get the people who say that you don't need to date with the purpose of marriage, you can just date for fun. When I say dating I of course mean romantical intensions, not just going out as friends.

I know there already is a thread about dating a non-christian, but I want to touch this subject here. Since the bible says do not be unequally yoked, then we shouldn't marry an unbeliever. So what would be the point of dating a non-christian?

I'm pondering such thoughts, because I have a chance to date a non-christian and I am interested in her too, but I don't see the point. Looking for opinions.
 
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Not_The_Righteous

Guest
#2
#2
Dating should be for the purpose of marriage. If you date someone, let it be for the purpose of discovering whether or not that person is a potential spouse.

I don't honestly understand the need to get emotionally or physically involved with someone "just for fun" or because you're lonely.

As for the "dating a non-christian" thing. I don't understand the appeal of this, because fundamentally, you're not sharing the same worldview. Don't you want someone who shares your worldview, encourages you to grow in Christ, and is a help to it rather than a hinderance?
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#3
#3
Tegelik said:
I only see two options when dating a person. You either eventually get married to him/her or you eventually break up. You can't keep on dating a person just for fun for the rest of your life. So I don't get the people who say that you don't need to date with the purpose of marriage, you can just date for fun. When I say dating I of course mean romantical intensions, not just going out as friends.

I know there already is a thread about dating a non-christian, but I want to touch this subject here. Since the bible says do not be unequally yoked, then we shouldn't marry an unbeliever. So what would be the point of dating a non-christian?

I'm pondering such thoughts, because I have a chance to date a non-christian and I am interested in her too, but I don't see the point. Looking for opinions.
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Dating is no fun, its all, do these pants make me look fat! You'd rather play video games then hang out with me! Why dont you ever listen!

does that sound like fun to you lol
 
S

sportygirl

Guest
#4
#4
People in college and high school date for fun in the sense that they dont care where the relationship goes they are just looking to have their physicaly and emotional needs met by another person. This isn't healthy those as christians, it just causes more problems in our life, prior to actually dating I had always said if I couldnt see myself marrying the person I would break it off, but its easy to see yourself marrying someone when your together...I thought I was going to marry my ex (slightly naive thought process) but if I had never dated him, I wouldnt have the boudries I have now in my life, as well as something to be base "love" off of.

When it comes to dating a non-christian no there really isnt a point. They are likely to draw you away from your faith, and you can't try to "change" someone when your in a relationship. If you do like them, and want to date them, try to minister to them first and do it in a casual way with other people. If and when they become christians maybe then you can date.
 
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Tegelik

Guest
#5
#5
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Dating is no fun, its all, do these pants make me look fat! You'd rather play video games then hang out with me! Why dont you ever listen!

does that sound like fun to you lol
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lol what an eyeopener.
 
D

Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#6
#6
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Dating is no fun, its all, do these pants make me look fat! You'd rather play video games then hang out with me! Why dont you ever listen!

does that sound like fun to you lol
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Actually yeah it does, any cool girl owns sweatpants that they play video games in. I happen to own 3 pairs of RPG pants.
 
M

mitche2n

Guest
#7
#7
If our job is to spread the Good News to others then have you shared with the lady you like? That would be my first question. Secondly, if she truly is not interested in your creator then how can she truly be interested in you....doesnt the holy spirit reside within us as believers? Lastly, if you are still pursuing her...then is she really the stumbling block??or is it your desire? Just some food for thought my brother.
 
G

goth4god

Guest
#8
#8
all I have to say is read Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris, it will really help you see things clearly in a Godly manner.
 
F

forgivenandloved

Guest
#9
#9
Tegelik said:
I only see two options when dating a person. You either eventually get married to him/her or you eventually break up. You can't keep on dating a person just for fun for the rest of your life. So I don't get the people who say that you don't need to date with the purpose of marriage, you can just date for fun. When I say dating I of course mean romantical intensions, not just going out as friends.

I know there already is a thread about dating a non-christian, but I want to touch this subject here. Since the bible says do not be unequally yoked, then we shouldn't marry an unbeliever. So what would be the point of dating a non-christian?

I'm pondering such thoughts, because I have a chance to date a non-christian and I am interested in her too, but I don't see the point. Looking for opinions.
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Dating when you are younger is so you learn how to be alone with someone of the opposite sex. So in the end it should be leading to marriage.
 
P

permen

Guest
#10
#10
the point of dating is.. NOTHING
 
S

shelly8886

Guest
#11
#11
I've always thought that the point of dating was to discover what kind of person you would like to marry.Dating someone that might not have seemed like someone you would marry at first might show you a whole new side of them and re-form your idea of the perfect mate. How would you know before dating them that they aren't marriage material?

As for her not being a Christian, get to know her better and maybe she'll suprise you. What if she's looking for something more fulfilling in life, like faith in God, and you have the tools to give that to her. Don't bombard her with it right away, but as you get to know her better, show her how you live your life and tell her what you beleive. Being able to talk about your faith with her would make your relationship a lot stronger :)
 
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suviheli

Guest
#12
#12
young people girls and boys are going together in groups so that way their learn each other and have more possibilities to choice who can be more than a friend.
it is more exciting to meet someone in unexpected situation. have I seen so many films :)
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#13
#13
Tegelik said:
I know there already is a thread about dating a non-christian, but I want to touch this subject here. Since the bible says do not be unequally yoked, then we shouldn't marry an unbeliever. So what would be the point of dating a non-christian?

I'm pondering such thoughts, because I have a chance to date a non-christian and I am interested in her too, but I don't see the point. Looking for opinions.
Click to expand...
If dating is for getting to know someone and discovering what potential there might be for the future then there's nothing wrong with dating a non-christian, the problems begin when you start to develop feelings for that person because that's when divergent beliefs will start doing damage.

Just because a woman you like might not be strong in faith isn't a reason not to date her, who a person is today doesn't indicate who they might be later in life so going on a few dates is a chance to get a better idea, it could be this girl is open to Christianity if she finds the right person to connect with and learn from etc..

The fact is the whole unequally yoked thing can easily be used as an excuse not to take a chance and stay open, it can be used to justfiy fear of getting into something with no gaurantees, she may not be a solid Christian, but dating isn't sinful and you're just getting to know eachother and if you find no potential for the differences between you to be dealt with then say good night and good luck.

So to answer the question....the point is you might find a great friend or a true love...but at the very least it's a few hours out of the house :)
 
O

oopsies

Guest
#14
#14
Tegelik said:
I only see two options when dating a person. You either eventually get married to him/her or you eventually break up. You can't keep on dating a person just for fun for the rest of your life. So I don't get the people who say that you don't need to date with the purpose of marriage, you can just date for fun. When I say dating I of course mean romantical intensions, not just going out as friends.

I know there already is a thread about dating a non-christian, but I want to touch this subject here. Since the bible says do not be unequally yoked, then we shouldn't marry an unbeliever. So what would be the point of dating a non-christian?

I'm pondering such thoughts, because I have a chance to date a non-christian and I am interested in her too, but I don't see the point. Looking for opinions.
Click to expand...
There is no point. Many of us actually wait until God shows us who we should be with for the rest of our lives. Usually, we look for people who seek God and place Him first in their lives.
 
K

Kay_Kay

Guest
#15
#15
WOAH. I can think of 100 things that could go wrong if a guy started dating me with the expectation of marriage. The first being the guy expects we might get married. That is a lot of pressure to deal with along with some strong feelings that I probably won't share in the beginning of a relationship. To decide someone is the one (or might be) based on an agreement to date is nothing short of crazy in my book.

Dating "for fun" isn't necessarily a good reason. I would hope you begin dating someone because you find their company more enjoyable than an average friend and there is some mutual attraction there.

Dating for me has always been a learning experience. Everyone has an idea of what they want in a partner, when you date someone that image will change, regardless of how sure you were. You begin to discover what you really want and like- not what you thought you did. You will also see qualities you value and be able to pick those out in certain people. (Maybe even people you hadn't previously considered "your type".)

Dating is truly trial and error. Never shun experience.
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#16
#16
It's interesting cause we just had a discussion about dating in my youth group, and I thought it was pretty eye-opening overall. And I thought my leader did a good job, of course its an easy age group to talk about this stuff with cause were all college students, but it reinforced a lot of my ideals. Such as intimacy and companiship in a relationship as well as why my last relationship didn't last and whats goign on wiht me emotionall there.
 
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Narn

Guest
#17
#17
Kay_Kay said:
WOAH. I can think of 100 things that could go wrong if a guy started dating me with the expectation of marriage. The first being the guy expects we might get married. That is a lot of pressure to deal with along with some strong feelings that I probably won't share in the beginning of a relationship. To decide someone is the one (or might be) based on an agreement to date is nothing short of crazy in my book.
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If I don't like you I won't date you, if I cannot see any way that you and I will possibly grow old together I'll never ask you out. I don't have marriage feeling in the beginning of the relationship. However I have the understanding of what this should be leading to, and if its NOT leading to marriage and it becomes long and drawn out then its not a healthy relationship and we need to just be friends.
Talk about alot of pressure!
But thats Dating. The point of dating is to find your mate period. (Sorry if thats to simple :rolleyes:)
Dating "for fun" isn't necessarily a good reason. I would hope you begin dating someone because you find their company more enjoyable than an average friend and there is some mutual attraction there.

Dating for me has always been a learning experience. Everyone has an idea of what they want in a partner, when you date someone that image will change, regardless of how sure you were. You begin to discover what you really want and like- not what you thought you did. You will also see qualities you value and be able to pick those out in certain people. (Maybe even people you hadn't previously considered "your type".)

Dating is truly trial and error. Never shun experience.
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Attraction, error trial yeah its all hard lol but I think most would agree exciting.
 
B

buckeyegirl700

Guest
#18
#18
Not_The_Righteous said:
Dating should be for the purpose of marriage. If you date someone, let it be for the purpose of discovering whether or not that person is a potential spouse.

I don't honestly understand the need to get emotionally or physically involved with someone "just for fun" or because you're lonely.

As for the "dating a non-christian" thing. I don't understand the appeal of this, because fundamentally, you're not sharing the same worldview. Don't you want someone who shares your worldview, encourages you to grow in Christ, and is a help to it rather than a hinderance?
Click to expand...
I would want to date someone to add enjoyement in my life. When I date I am not looking for a suitable Christian husband. I am looking for a friend someone that is exiting and fun to be around. Someone who is goofy and makes me laugh. If we have a whole lot of dates and feel closer to each other as a result then I will start asking myself if I could have a future with this person. I do not like to meet a guy for the first time and think of him as a potential spouse. If I did that I would probably break off the date. I only date Christian men and I pray that Gods will is done.

I realize that some people have different views of dating, and that is fine.
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#19
#19
Matthew said:
If dating is for getting to know someone and discovering what potential there might be for the future then there's nothing wrong with dating a non-christian, the problems begin when you start to develop feelings for that person because that's when divergent beliefs will start doing damage.

Just because a woman you like might not be strong in faith isn't a reason not to date her, who a person is today doesn't indicate who they might be later in life so going on a few dates is a chance to get a better idea, it could be this girl is open to Christianity if she finds the right person to connect with and learn from etc..

The fact is the whole unequally yoked thing can easily be used as an excuse not to take a chance and stay open, it can be used to justfiy fear of getting into something with no gaurantees, she may not be a solid Christian, but dating isn't sinful and you're just getting to know eachother and if you find no potential for the differences between you to be dealt with then say good night and good luck.

So to answer the question....the point is you might find a great friend or a true love...but at the very least it's a few hours out of the house :)
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I agree with you. I get tired of Christians judging the opposite sex based on how much knoweldge they know about the bible. I am currently not dating anyone because I feel that now that I am a Christian I do not want to date men who have worldly views. At this point in my life I do not feel God wants me to date a guy who is not a Christian. I have been a Christian for two years but I am not an expert on the bible. There are a lot of things that I do not understand. I do not have a whole lot of verses memorized and sometimes I question my faith daily. I have never dated a Christian man. It kind of seems weird. I imagine myself going on a date and bieng asked to quote scripture to prove that I am a Christian and then asked on the second date if I want to have more than three kids, and on the third date then there comes the marriage proposal. I am not saying that Christian men are at all like this I am just sharing some of my dating fears. I know that I am not ready to date because I am just now getting my life in order. I feel that if God wants me to date when the time is right he will put someone in my life at the right time who understands that I am a commitment phobe and need to take things really really slow.
 
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Remmy

Guest
#20
#20
Hey buckey,I totally agree with your post. I myself have been a christian for only 2years and have never dated a christian before. And when I think about it ,it does kind of weird me out sometimes like what if he starts asking questions about my past and then right after I answer them he gets up and leaves.
Although I believe dating is a beutifull experience I also am not ready to date.In the 2years that I have been a christian God has broken me in little pieces and I learned soooooooo much more about myslef.I learned that I was controlling,prideful etc...things I NEVER thought I was, God was showing me that I am. I have much more to learn before I can take on a relationship.
I feel like everyday God is teaching me something new about Him and about myself..its amazing!
and for the past couple of months I am actually enjoying my single status... I usually feel very lonely when I have nothing to do or nobody to hang out with but now I am thanking God that I am single.I enjoy my 'me' time(watching tv,reading,listening to music,working out) and my quiet time with God even more.

Speaking from experience i'd say more people should 'date' themselves first before they date others.
get to know yourself first(with the Lords guidance) and than get to know others.

So what was the question again?? ow yeah'whats the point of dating?' *thinking very hard*...i'd say getting to know each other....

God bless!
 
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