Single and hating it

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Adri23

Guest
#1
Any of you guys single and absolutely dreading it? I've been single for a few months and at first i was feeling alright. focusing on my school work and my family. All of the sudden i started to feel lonelier than i've ever been in in my life.:(
I haven't the right guy yet and i'm starting to get desperate haha. Especially when your trying to find someone who is christian. Do you guys feel the same way?
 
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#2
only single a few months? eh, get back with me when its been 33 years
 
Nov 30, 2013
682
10
0
#3
Any of you guys single and absolutely dreading it? I've been single for a few months and at first i was feeling alright. focusing on my school work and my family. All of the sudden i started to feel lonelier than i've ever been in in my life.:(
I haven't the right guy yet and i'm starting to get desperate haha. Especially when your trying to find someone who is christian. Do you guys feel the same way?


Why are u trying to find the right guy sister. It's this your Father In Heaven job? Only God sees the intents of the heart from the end to the beginning. Wait on the Lord. God wants to be your first love.
 
A

Abing

Guest
#4
Any of you guys single and absolutely dreading it? I've been single for a few months and at first i was feeling alright. focusing on my school work and my family. All of the sudden i started to feel lonelier than i've ever been in in my life.:(
I haven't the right guy yet and i'm starting to get desperate haha. Especially when your trying to find someone who is christian. Do you guys feel the same way?
I used to feel that way too. Broke up a month and 2 weeks ago. I would wallow in pain for days. Well not really days. Hours at most. I have to give credit to my parents for not letting me suffer alone but in my pain they stayed with me not by letting me dwell in the past, but helping me redirect my focus from self and loneliness (what I lost and what I didn't have, in that case was my ex) to, and this may sound cliche but this is the only truth out there, God and what He has prepared for me and what He has already given me.

I went extreme and I won't be ashamed or even hesitate to say that the day after we broke up, I rededicated my life to God and spent weeks of just listening to His Word (downloaded hundreds of podcasts, listened to audio teachings about going through trials, then slowly shifting to just anything about God). At times when my mind stopped functioning and couldn't understand anything I was hearing, I spent that in prayer or talking to other people. As long as my heart and mind were working normally, I spent it listening to His Word, desperate to be saved from my own emotions.

I needed my faith back. I may have forgotten God's promises while in pain, but I remembered that all I needed was Him. So I started afresh and I have to say, it worked wonders for me. Although, I haven't borne fruits yet, but I'll get there as long as I stay with Him.

TLDR: Cure to loneliness is simply Jesus.
 
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skylove7

Guest
#5
only single a few months? eh, get back with me when its been 33 years
Wisebeardman lol
I knew you would say that.
Not getting 'predictable' on us are you? :p
 

BruceWayne

Senior Member
Aug 7, 2013
3,694
357
83
Gotham City
#6
Sorry you're feeling that way, Adri. :/ I agree with what others have said in using this time to grow closer to God and continue to give him not only your worries, but your trust. :)

Personally, I haven't really been single in about 6 years until recently. I'm loving not having any attachment lol.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#7
All I can say is that, as hard as it may be, take it one day at a time.
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#8
I used to feel that way too. Broke up a month and 2 weeks ago. I would wallow in pain for days. Well not really days. Hours at most. I have to give credit to my parents for not letting me suffer alone but in my pain they stayed with me not by letting me dwell in the past, but helping me redirect my focus from self and loneliness (what I lost and what I didn't have, in that case was my ex) to, and this may sound cliche but this is the only truth out there, God and what He has prepared for me and what He has already given me.

I went extreme and I won't be ashamed or even hesitate to say that the day after we broke up, I rededicated my life to God and spent weeks of just listening to His Word (downloaded hundreds of podcasts, listened to audio teachings about going through trials, then slowly shifting to just anything about God). At times when my mind stopped functioning and couldn't understand anything I was hearing, I spent that in prayer or talking to other people. As long as my heart and mind were working normally, I spent it listening to His Word, desperate to be saved from my own emotions.

I needed my faith back. I may have forgotten God's promises while in pain, but I remembered that all I needed was Him. So I started afresh and I have to say, it worked wonders for me. Although, I haven't borne fruits yet, but I'll get there as long as I stay with Him.

TLDR: Cure to loneliness is simply Jesus.
This is bearing fruit! Which will begin to multiply now!
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,307
1,097
113
#9
Adri;

There are stages, you have been honest before God and us we will pray then for you. And if you walk thru the flames with God He will protect you and give you blessings out the other side. Dig deeper thru this into Gods refuge, do not lean toward the subjectivity of the tyranny of the urgent. May God bring you peace and joy, as well, thru all this.

I hate it too smile., but am fine that God has my back with it.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#10
Any of you guys single and absolutely dreading it? I've been single for a few months and at first i was feeling alright. focusing on my school work and my family. All of the sudden i started to feel lonelier than i've ever been in in my life.:(
I haven't the right guy yet and i'm starting to get desperate haha. Especially when your trying to find someone who is christian. Do you guys feel the same way?
Better to be single than in a bad relationship. Desperation won't find you anyone special. It will just cause you to use someone else for your own desires, a selfish endeavor. And puts you at risk of getting into unhappy, or worse, relationships. Over time this will make you bitter.
Youre young. Enjoy your life. Put your focus on your walk and learn to trust that Gods timing and will is better than your desires.
 
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setapartgirl

Guest
#11
Either you've been single for years or months...i can feel you,.we can feel you, however no man can complete you, NO ONE, only Jesus can...i thought relationship can feel the void inside me sis, i thought having someone special can fulfill you, but what if that someone will hurt you too? You will be disappointed, will be broken, will even lost your sense of self, i can say, ive been there, done that... seeking love from someone..i know its a cliche to say use this singleness of yours to Focus to Jesus, but it's true, sometimes i think that maybe because God didn't let me to get married at the age of 28 maybe because there is or are something that He needs to work with, like my temper, my selfishness, my immaturity, because though sometimes i am wishing i have someone speacial who just could love me, but then as the days pass...i realized i am still selfish i can't even give the whole me to that person,i just thought i could, the urge and feeling is still there but i replace it with the thought that maybe God is just sparing me from a lot of heartaches. He knows me better than i know my self, before u look for a man or ask for a man to God, examine your self first, was it because you just want to cure that loneliness?that void?if it is, maybe you are not ready yet. You are not alone sis..it's okay to be single for a while, 24 is still young.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,896
8,156
113
#12
Change is hard. Any change, even one for the better, is hard and often feels bad. But once you get used to it... mmmm, it's a wonderful thing being single!
 
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setapartgirl

Guest
#13
Change is hard. Any change, even one for the better, is hard and often feels bad. But once you get used to it... mmmm, it's a wonderful thing being single!

True... its all about getting used.
 
Nov 25, 2014
942
44
0
#14
Any of you guys single and absolutely dreading it? I've been single for a few months and at first i was feeling alright. focusing on my school work and my family. All of the sudden i started to feel lonelier than i've ever been in in my life.:( I haven't the right guy yet and i'm starting to get desperate haha. Especially when your trying to find someone who is christian. Do you guys feel the same way?
1. Sometimes being single totally sucks.
2. Presuming that the feeling of loneliness is about wanting romance, might be a mistake. You've been busying yourself with work and family. Maybe this feeling of loneliness is a longing for some social activity with friends.
3. Sometimes the feeling of loneliness we experience is a longing for God. So maybe you're needing to spend some more alone-time with Him.
4. Maybe you are feeling lonely because you are longing for a romantic relationship. The good thing about feelings is that they have a beginning and end point--if we let ourselves experience them. So, you know, experience the lonely. Let yourself feel it, and then let it be on its way.
5. The feelings of desperation is based on the (false) idea of scarcity--that there's not enough time, or not enough men, etc., and you better make it happen NOW or it won't ever happen. This isn't inherently Godly thinking. God is the God of abundance and surprises. So, maybe tell yourself that God has this covered and that he will direct you. When you feel scared or desperate, turn to Him. Focus on all you DO have now, instead of what you DON'T.
6. Yes, I've often felt the same way.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#15
Any of you guys single and absolutely dreading it? I've been single for a few months and at first i was feeling alright. focusing on my school work and my family. All of the sudden i started to feel lonelier than i've ever been in in my life.:(
I haven't the right guy yet and i'm starting to get desperate haha. Especially when your trying to find someone who is christian. Do you guys feel the same way?
Except the fact we aren't created on this Earth to find a soulmate... There is no such thing as a soulmate. The only one you should be spending your life for is Jesus Christ. He completes you. Not some guy.
 

mochi

Senior Member
May 26, 2015
923
38
28
#16
I agree with other poster..
Spending time with God, be on His presence and you wouldnt want anything.. just Him..

It remind me of a song: Christ is enough for me.. Christ is enough for me... everything i need is in You.. everything i need...
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#17
Well I think I'm speaking for a lot of us on here when I say, you can't miss something you've never had. haha

But seriously, I'm sorry you are feeling that way. You know that a relationship wouldn't solve your problem of loneliness. Some of the married people on here complain about feeling lonely. Lean on Jesus when you feel that way. He's the only one that could take that pain and burden away from you.
Blessings, sister! :)
 

onlinebuddy

Senior Member
Sep 1, 2012
1,115
24
38
#18
Finding a guy is not your purpose in life, although you are at the right age to find one.
(What surprises me is when a teen as young as 15 feels the way you are feeling)
You seem to be doing the right thing: focusing on school and family
If you set your priorities right, you will find the right person.

Although this may sound awkward to some, remember:
Jesus is your first love! Give him your heart!
Also, give due respect and love to your earthly father (and mother).
He's probably the first man who held your hand.
...and Jesus will lead you to Mr. Right!