Are we really unhappier than our parents?
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Blond says and this is my own saying....
"You carry your happiness with you."
You decide if you are going to be happy or not.
Found my mother dead at the age of 8, dad died of cancer when I was 12, married at 17 divorced at 24 and I could go on and on to the point that I would look like a poster child for being a mass murderer because I have all the down side of bad early in life...
But I decided when I was very young that I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me so I used humor and decided that I was going to be happy and along with God's help have pretty much stayed the course except for my blip at the age of 40 trying to off myself....But I got help and for most all of my life have been happy.
If you asked most anyone who knows me they would say she is happy and fun to be around likes to joke and laugh even when things aren't so funny.... They can do all the studies they want, but I tell you we each individually decide if we are happy or not.
PS Lynx I am from the North and I am a Happy one....lol
"You carry your happiness with you."
You decide if you are going to be happy or not.
Found my mother dead at the age of 8, dad died of cancer when I was 12, married at 17 divorced at 24 and I could go on and on to the point that I would look like a poster child for being a mass murderer because I have all the down side of bad early in life...
But I decided when I was very young that I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me so I used humor and decided that I was going to be happy and along with God's help have pretty much stayed the course except for my blip at the age of 40 trying to off myself....But I got help and for most all of my life have been happy.
If you asked most anyone who knows me they would say she is happy and fun to be around likes to joke and laugh even when things aren't so funny.... They can do all the studies they want, but I tell you we each individually decide if we are happy or not.
PS Lynx I am from the North and I am a Happy one....lol
I have to wonder if Work has actually become a modern God. It's always hailed as the way to get anything and everything, but the only thing I see Hard Work getting people now days is more work. I'm certainly not saying that work isn't important, and I come from a family in which not working just isn't an option. Even if you're sick and on your last leg, you still drag yourself into work. But the work/family balance has flipped out of control. It seems like today's word is Get Promoted So You Can Keep Your Family's Phones Updated, but never mind the fact that you won't actually see or talk to your family.
I've known some very successful people. But I've never met a single one who hasn't made major sacrifices (health, relationships, completely missing their kids' childhoods) in the process. There is ALWAYS a price to pay, and usually, it's lost on quality time with the ones you love.
I also think there was a whole lot less entitlement in past generations, which made people much more humble and grateful for what they had (leading to more peace, content, and perceived happiness.) But as Molly pointed out, many from these generations had tough lives, and for most, the goal in working so hard was to "provide a better life" for their children.
Unfortunately, that can go astray. Parents who might have grown up being told they were of little value want to make sure their kids believe they are the princes and princesses of the world. It's done with good intention, but so many of us then somehow think we're owed the world on a silver platter (the perfect career, a salary that pays us the royal sum we believe we're worth, the perfect spouse)... and it should have been delivered yesterday.
People from past generations waited years and saved all they could to buy things for their families (houses, vehicles, etc.) Now days you can have a new car every year and a new phone every month, but it's all on credit, and unlike past generations, most people don't know what it's like to work for something over a long period of time and truly own it. We're all too busy worrying about how we're going to grab on to the next thing to think about how blessed we are to have what's in our hand today, and that leads to feelings of discontent and depression.
I honestly think that when people worked for things, met goals, and actually owned what they had, they knew a deeper, more meaningful and lasting sense of contentment than in today's world in which you expect to (and can) have everything at a moment's notice, but none of it is actually yours and you haven't really accomplished anything because it's all on credit.
Money and purchasing power aren't the only contributing factors of course, but it was something I thought about immediately after reading Cinder's post.
I've known some very successful people. But I've never met a single one who hasn't made major sacrifices (health, relationships, completely missing their kids' childhoods) in the process. There is ALWAYS a price to pay, and usually, it's lost on quality time with the ones you love.
I also think there was a whole lot less entitlement in past generations, which made people much more humble and grateful for what they had (leading to more peace, content, and perceived happiness.) But as Molly pointed out, many from these generations had tough lives, and for most, the goal in working so hard was to "provide a better life" for their children.
Unfortunately, that can go astray. Parents who might have grown up being told they were of little value want to make sure their kids believe they are the princes and princesses of the world. It's done with good intention, but so many of us then somehow think we're owed the world on a silver platter (the perfect career, a salary that pays us the royal sum we believe we're worth, the perfect spouse)... and it should have been delivered yesterday.
People from past generations waited years and saved all they could to buy things for their families (houses, vehicles, etc.) Now days you can have a new car every year and a new phone every month, but it's all on credit, and unlike past generations, most people don't know what it's like to work for something over a long period of time and truly own it. We're all too busy worrying about how we're going to grab on to the next thing to think about how blessed we are to have what's in our hand today, and that leads to feelings of discontent and depression.
I honestly think that when people worked for things, met goals, and actually owned what they had, they knew a deeper, more meaningful and lasting sense of contentment than in today's world in which you expect to (and can) have everything at a moment's notice, but none of it is actually yours and you haven't really accomplished anything because it's all on credit.
Money and purchasing power aren't the only contributing factors of course, but it was something I thought about immediately after reading Cinder's post.
Leading and working for oneself can be a wonderful thing.
But many people don't realize just how hard it is, nor do they prepare for the reality of working for themselves, which often means that they can't expect to turn a profit or make any money from their business within the first several years.
In every place I've lived, I've seen countless businesses start and die. I just read an article in Forbes that estimates 8 out of 10 businesses fail within the first 5 years. I have friends who started a construction business and they would have never made it if they both hadn't been working full-time jobs several years while they were just starting out.
I also haven't met anyone yet who didn't have to make major sacrifices (time with family, health, relationships) in order to make their business work. For anyone who has the resources and dedication, I say go for it.
But I also think it's important to have realistic expectations and solid back-up plan just in case, or at least, to keep you afloat until your business actually starts making money.
But many people don't realize just how hard it is, nor do they prepare for the reality of working for themselves, which often means that they can't expect to turn a profit or make any money from their business within the first several years.
In every place I've lived, I've seen countless businesses start and die. I just read an article in Forbes that estimates 8 out of 10 businesses fail within the first 5 years. I have friends who started a construction business and they would have never made it if they both hadn't been working full-time jobs several years while they were just starting out.
I also haven't met anyone yet who didn't have to make major sacrifices (time with family, health, relationships) in order to make their business work. For anyone who has the resources and dedication, I say go for it.
But I also think it's important to have realistic expectations and solid back-up plan just in case, or at least, to keep you afloat until your business actually starts making money.
I can relate to this. 
I lost quite a bit of moolah this year with a new gig I'm starting up. But it's not gonna keep me down, cause if I keep slinging, eventually something will stick. So Don't give up, just take every loss as a new lesson learned... a very VERY expensive lesson learned! ;-) But a lesson none the less.
Here's to 2016! May it be more profitable and may God bless us and see us through it with our health!
I lost quite a bit of moolah this year with a new gig I'm starting up. But it's not gonna keep me down, cause if I keep slinging, eventually something will stick. So Don't give up, just take every loss as a new lesson learned... a very VERY expensive lesson learned! ;-) But a lesson none the less.Here's to 2016! May it be more profitable and may God bless us and see us through it with our health!
Very good points, Cinder and seoulsearch. JesusLives, you've got some serious strength and determination to stay happy despite how rough your years as a young adult were.
I am going to digress from the topic and answer this specifically. I do not fully agree with this because I don't think that owning and running your own business will make you happier than someone who does not. Here are some reasons why -
1. We had a VC partner deliver a guest lecture in my college a few years back, and he said that for every successful entrepreneur, there are 9 others who bit the dust.
2. Ever thought that you are too independent to work under someone and that you are better off running your own business? Well, the truth is, when you start a business you will be working under EVERYBODY else. Literally! Right from the guy who does your maintenance, to your vendors, to your buyers, to your investors, you will have absolutely no bargaining power (think, Porter's 5 Forces) and almost everyone will strive to run you to the ground.
3. Think you have a wonderful idea? Well, that's great. But an idea is nothing without a well-written business plan. And even with a well-written business plan, the probability of failure still exists. In short, you can do everything you can to minimize the risk of failure, but it will still exist.
4. How about the team that is going to help you run the business? Are they capable of handling the stress and sacrificing all it takes to help your idea get off the ground? Many startups find that their first competitors are often former employees themselves!
5. Have you considered the toll this will take on your person, family and friends?
I have networked with numerous entrepreneurs - some successful, some not-so-successful and some absolutely unsuccessful. I would say that you should count yourself lucky if you can find a stable job where you are constantly recognized and rewarded, where you enjoy a healthy work-life balance and where you are paid enough to save and spend.
I am going to digress from the topic and answer this specifically. I do not fully agree with this because I don't think that owning and running your own business will make you happier than someone who does not. Here are some reasons why -
1. We had a VC partner deliver a guest lecture in my college a few years back, and he said that for every successful entrepreneur, there are 9 others who bit the dust.
2. Ever thought that you are too independent to work under someone and that you are better off running your own business? Well, the truth is, when you start a business you will be working under EVERYBODY else. Literally! Right from the guy who does your maintenance, to your vendors, to your buyers, to your investors, you will have absolutely no bargaining power (think, Porter's 5 Forces) and almost everyone will strive to run you to the ground.
3. Think you have a wonderful idea? Well, that's great. But an idea is nothing without a well-written business plan. And even with a well-written business plan, the probability of failure still exists. In short, you can do everything you can to minimize the risk of failure, but it will still exist.
4. How about the team that is going to help you run the business? Are they capable of handling the stress and sacrificing all it takes to help your idea get off the ground? Many startups find that their first competitors are often former employees themselves!
5. Have you considered the toll this will take on your person, family and friends?
I have networked with numerous entrepreneurs - some successful, some not-so-successful and some absolutely unsuccessful. I would say that you should count yourself lucky if you can find a stable job where you are constantly recognized and rewarded, where you enjoy a healthy work-life balance and where you are paid enough to save and spend.
The South... isn't that where all the black guys are said to be lazy, and all the white guys complain about how lazy the black guys are, but the white guys are just as lazy?
I'm still staying down here in the South. I hear you can't get real buttermilk biscuits up north.
And seoulsearch, what's wrong with keeping your kids' phones updated? The car is no longer the status symbol you know. Now it's your phone that makes you who you are societally. If you have a last-gen phone you are behind the curve. If you have a phone that is more than three years old, you might be able to get a job in a museum somewhere.
(Although the preceding paragraph was in the main facetious, phones are status symbols nowadays. Ever noticed?)