All Da Single Ladies (Who Aren't After a Man's Money), Holla Back!!

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

JonahLynx

Senior Member
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
30
48
#21
Ahhh phooey. Ya'll women are full of it. One thing I noticed about the majority of women especially on here is they are major people pleasers. If a man having money makes him more attractive that is nothing to be ashamed of. Theirs nothing wrong with the fact that a man's ability to provide makes him somewhat more attractive. God made women biologically attracted to men that can help them survive. Meaning they are attracted to men that can protect and provide for them. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I am attracted to a woman's physical attributes. Now I'm not shallow. I'm just keeping it real. A woman's bank account doesn't get me aroused, her sweet personality doesn't do anything for me. It looks. Sorry, I won't apologize for the way God made me. Now, will I choose a wife because of her looks? No. I'm not shallow. The attraction must be there but more important is the woman's character and her morals, etc. But character and morals don't make me say oooooooooh baby. Your integrity is so sexy. lol. it's a womans looks that do that. Now am I saying you should go out and marry a man for his money? No. Am I saying that a man that doesn't have much money is unattractive? No. I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is that a man's ability to provide can make him more attractive to a certain extent, not to mention that he will have more to offer in a marriage for the children, etc. I hope I don't upset any of the women here for calling them out on their bull, but I have a bad habit of keeping it real. lol.
I agree with the core of what you're saying but you got an extreme perspective lol. But also the way we think instinctively isn't the way we should be approaching it. Yeah there are lots of women who look for success over anything else and there are lots of men who look for beauty over anything else. But didn't God say that beauty is vain and we cannot serve Him and money? So whether or not you're right about how people think doesn't mean that's the way it should be in a Christian life. Can't defeated by fleshly desires.

Not gonna pretend to know how each person here goes about relationships though. Way too much generalization, which I think is the point of the thread, unless you're calling seoul and mcsmitty and viola liars? :p

$0.02
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#22
Ahhh phooey. Ya'll women are full of it. One thing I noticed about the majority of women especially on here is they are major people pleasers. If a man having money makes him more attractive that is nothing to be ashamed of. Theirs nothing wrong with the fact that a man's ability to provide makes him somewhat more attractive. God made women biologically attracted to men that can help them survive. Meaning they are attracted to men that can protect and provide for them. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I am attracted to a woman's physical attributes. Now I'm not shallow. I'm just keeping it real. A woman's bank account doesn't get me aroused, her sweet personality doesn't do anything for me. It looks. Sorry, I won't apologize for the way God made me. Now, will I choose a wife because of her looks? No. I'm not shallow. The attraction must be there but more important is the woman's character and her morals, etc. But character and morals don't make me say oooooooooh baby. Your integrity is so sexy. lol. it's a womans looks that do that. Now am I saying you should go out and marry a man for his money? No. Am I saying that a man that doesn't have much money is unattractive? No. I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is that a man's ability to provide can make him more attractive to a certain extent, not to mention that he will have more to offer in a marriage for the children, etc. I hope I don't upset any of the women here for calling them out on their bull, but I have a bad habit of keeping it real. lol.
If all women want is brutal honesty, you'll probably have them waiting in line.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#23
Ahhh phooey. Ya'll women are full of it. One thing I noticed about the majority of women especially on here is they are major people pleasers. If a man having money makes him more attractive that is nothing to be ashamed of. Theirs nothing wrong with the fact that a man's ability to provide makes him somewhat more attractive. God made women biologically attracted to men that can help them survive. Meaning they are attracted to men that can protect and provide for them. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I am attracted to a woman's physical attributes. Now I'm not shallow. I'm just keeping it real. A woman's bank account doesn't get me aroused, her sweet personality doesn't do anything for me. It looks. Sorry, I won't apologize for the way God made me. Now, will I choose a wife because of her looks? No. I'm not shallow. The attraction must be there but more important is the woman's character and her morals, etc. But character and morals don't make me say oooooooooh baby. Your integrity is so sexy. lol. it's a womans looks that do that. Now am I saying you should go out and marry a man for his money? No. Am I saying that a man that doesn't have much money is unattractive? No. I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is that a man's ability to provide can make him more attractive to a certain extent, not to mention that he will have more to offer in a marriage for the children, etc. I hope I don't upset any of the women here for calling them out on their bull, but I have a bad habit of keeping it real. lol.
Here's something I'm always amazed no one seems to consider: What if a woman has her OWN money?

No, I'm not rich. But I don't need anything from a man, and have been living independently and self-sufficiently for a very long time. For me, this factors a man's money right out of the equation.

All I ask of a guy is that he won't expect me to pay his bills (because that's all I've done in my past relationships), and we're good.

Your post reminds me of a guy I went out with who could pretty much read the Bible in its original languages and was an engineer. When he found out I don't have... quite a prestigious job... he said, a bit condescendingly, "And you're able to make it on that?"

In the same conversation, he also told me that he had almost foreclosed on his house but was managing. It's ironic because he obviously felt he was in the superior position.

But what he didn't know is that I have no debts. And because of his obvious contempt for what he thought was my low-class life, I didn't think he had a right to know.

Credit makes it easy to obtain things and make it LOOK like you have money.

If you compared our paychecks, sure, his would blow mine out of the water, I'm sure (we didn't talk numbers.) But if you looked at his ratio of debts, his ship was already sunk.

P.S. It should be obvious, but money differences wasn't the reason I didn't go out with him again. I just didn't feel like being around someone who obviously looked down on me without even knowing me.
 
Last edited:

violakat

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2014
1,236
21
38
#24
I agree that most women want security. But money does not equal security.

Ahhh phooey. Ya'll women are full of it. One thing I noticed about the majority of women especially on here is they are major people pleasers. If a man having money makes him more attractive that is nothing to be ashamed of. Theirs nothing wrong with the fact that a man's ability to provide makes him somewhat more attractive. God made women biologically attracted to men that can help them survive. Meaning they are attracted to men that can protect and provide for them. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I am attracted to a woman's physical attributes. Now I'm not shallow. I'm just keeping it real. A woman's bank account doesn't get me aroused, her sweet personality doesn't do anything for me. It looks. Sorry, I won't apologize for the way God made me. Now, will I choose a wife because of her looks? No. I'm not shallow. The attraction must be there but more important is the woman's character and her morals, etc. But character and morals don't make me say oooooooooh baby. Your integrity is so sexy. lol. it's a womans looks that do that. Now am I saying you should go out and marry a man for his money? No. Am I saying that a man that doesn't have much money is unattractive? No. I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is that a man's ability to provide can make him more attractive to a certain extent, not to mention that he will have more to offer in a marriage for the children, etc. I hope I don't upset any of the women here for calling them out on their bull, but I have a bad habit of keeping it real. lol.
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#25
Amen Violakat!

We are blessed to have love and prayers from folks in these evil times.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,268
113
#26
I want a woman who wants me for my money because it'll be proof that it takes very little to please her.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#28
Ahhh phooey. Ya'll women are full of it. One thing I noticed about the majority of women especially on here is they are major people pleasers. If a man having money makes him more attractive that is nothing to be ashamed of. Theirs nothing wrong with the fact that a man's ability to provide makes him somewhat more attractive. God made women biologically attracted to men that can help them survive. Meaning they are attracted to men that can protect and provide for them. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I am attracted to a woman's physical attributes. Now I'm not shallow. I'm just keeping it real. A woman's bank account doesn't get me aroused, her sweet personality doesn't do anything for me. It looks. Sorry, I won't apologize for the way God made me. Now, will I choose a wife because of her looks? No. I'm not shallow. The attraction must be there but more important is the woman's character and her morals, etc. But character and morals don't make me say oooooooooh baby. Your integrity is so sexy. lol. it's a womans looks that do that. Now am I saying you should go out and marry a man for his money? No. Am I saying that a man that doesn't have much money is unattractive? No. I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is that a man's ability to provide can make him more attractive to a certain extent, not to mention that he will have more to offer in a marriage for the children, etc. I hope I don't upset any of the women here for calling them out on their bull, but I have a bad habit of keeping it real. lol.

When I began dating my now husband the job he was working at moved out of state. He was laid off.He had two jobs then moved to my area and got a job there. He was offered what he thought was a better job but it turned out to be awful.I use to make jewelry and sell it and there were times he had no money and I bought our meal or paid for the movie. I never thought of leaving him.Why? Because I knew he was a hard worker. He was out of work for an entire year.Now that we are married he was able to find a great paying job. I married him because he was the sweetest,most sincere man I had ever met. He made me laugh,he touched my heart. When Christians start taking cues from the world thats when they get into trouble. To say all women ...or all men... we become jaded,that is worldly thinking. Looks fade,money can be lost,if you look deeper you will find a relationship that lasts.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#29
But many women today think it (money) is the same thing.
This is the equivalent of women saying most men today are only interested in sex and equate sex with love.

If a woman is talking to a man who is pressuring her for sex, she's talking to the wrong man.

If a man is talking to a woman who is primarily interested in his cash flow, he's talking to the wrong woman.

We have several wonderful gentlemen here who, when women complain that all men want is sex, seem to hop up and down and say, "Yoo hoo! Over here! I'm different!"

Likewise, this thread is to point out that not all women are the same, and some of us are fighting against the tide of this unfortunately almost universally-held stereotype. I can't speak for all women, but I know that one thing that definitely turns me off in a potential date is a man who is bitter towards all women because he believes they all think this way.

(I'm just saying that IN GENERAL--NOT against Ugly personally, as I am NOT saying that Ugly in any way stereotypes all women.)
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#30
Theirs nothing wrong with the fact that a man's ability to provide makes him somewhat more attractive. God made women biologically attracted to men that can help them survive. Meaning they are attracted to men that can protect and provide for them.
Your post has been an eye-opener to me (as also your signature, but I'll let that pass). Where did you get this from? If you say "God made women...", then surely it must have some Biblical proof to go with it. Please could you show that? Men and women are capable of standing on their own two feet. Sure it feels good to be with someone, to share bills, to share emotions, etc. but being single is not a physical disability.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#31
Your post has been an eye-opener to me (as also your signature, but I'll let that pass). Where did you get this from? If you say "God made women...", then surely it must have some Biblical proof to go with it. Please could you show that? Men and women are capable of standing on their own two feet. Sure it feels good to be with someone, to share bills, to share emotions, etc. but being single is not a physical disability.
Roh, I'm liking your post for this comment alone!!!

(Did anyone else pick up on the irony???!! :))
 
M

Mcsmitty

Guest
#32
But what he didn't know is that I have no debts. And because of his obvious contempt for what he thought was my low-class life, I didn't think he had a right to know.

I just didn't feel like being around someone who obviously looked down on me without even knowing me.

I really like the way that you put that. I think that's it, money worship breeds "contempt". I don't want to be in competition with who has the most or best toys.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#33
This is the equivalent of women saying most men today are only interested in sex and equate sex with love.
Well, from what i hear more and more i'd say this is accurate as well. So it seems both points are true.

If a woman is talking to a man who is pressuring her for sex, she's talking to the wrong man.
I agree with that as well.

If a man is talking to a woman who is primarily interested in his cash flow, he's talking to the wrong woman.
Agree again.

We have several wonderful gentlemen here who, when women complain that all men want is sex, seem to hop up and down and say, "Yoo hoo! Over here! I'm different!"
That's great... if we were talking only about CC. But this discussion has moved outside of CC.
Supposedly this thread is the female equivalent with a bunch of ladies hopping up and down saying 'i'm not interested in your money!'.


Likewise, this thread is to point out that not all women are the same, and some of us are fighting against the tide of this unfortunately almost universally-held stereotype. I can't speak for all women, but I know that one thing that definitely turns me off in a potential date is a man who is bitter towards all women because he believes they all think this way.
Yeah, i know not all women are like that. If they were i'd never had a girlfriend haha. But the reason this is such a sterotype is because study after study prove it. It's not a sterotype at all, really, it's a proven fact that with a large portion of the population of women, at least in the US, the primary factor in interest is financial.
I watched a Mythbuster's episode where they tested this. They showed a group of men of varying age and with different professions and showed it to a group of women. Then did the same thing with a different group of women, but changed the professions next to the pictures. On the average the men that had jobs that indicated more money were seen as more attractive.
It's simply a fact that many women look at a mans finances. Same as men look at a womans appearance. It is what it is. Some women don't zero in on that, just like some men are not as concerned about appearance or sex. But doesn't mean that it's not still the majority, in either case.
I am also not bitter. Making a comment in response to another in a forum was not an indication of bitterness, but rather more of regret, coming from one who never has, and likely never will, make a lot of money.


(I'm just saying that IN GENERAL--NOT against Ugly personally, as I am NOT saying that Ugly in any way stereotypes all women.)
There is a level of security in knowing a man is financially stable. But there are other areas that affect stability as well, though most women in this world are not taught to look for, or look out for, other things. It's an old thinking. Look at older culture. Women were always encouraged to hold out for a doctor or lawyer, someone with money. It's not a new concept, just one people are becoming more conscious.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#34
There is a level of security in knowing a man is financially stable. But there are other areas that affect stability as well, though most women in this world are not taught to look for, or look out for, other things. It's an old thinking. Look at older culture. Women were always encouraged to hold out for a doctor or lawyer, someone with money. It's not a new concept, just one people are becoming more conscious.
The thing I find most discouraging of all is that when we have these discussions, and we have them frequently, it seems that there is usually at least a little encouragement for men who go against society's supposed norm.

But women NEVER, ever seem to hear that kind of encouragement. I could be wrong.

But as a woman, "YOU BUNCH OF MONEY HOUNDS!!! SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH PROVES IT!!!" is all you ever hear. NOT ONCE do we ever hear, "PRAISE GOD for those women who are different!" It's always glossed over as if we don't exist, which is the entire point of this thread. No encouragement, no acknowledgment, no nothing, just story after story of Women As Gold Diggers. It just seems like there should be some mutual respect.

The only man I've ever heard say, "Good job!!!" to women on this subject is my dad, and he's the one who taught me (he and my mom's entire ministry involves financial counseling, and a good number of their participants are single mothers.)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#35
"Research" should always be taken with a grain of salt.

There's plenty of "research" "proving" that "God doesn't exist", either.

My hope for a thread like this is that it will hopefully at least reassure some men (I'd be happy if it only spoke to ONE man out there, at this rate) that, just as with stereotypes about men, not all women are the same.

P.S. As I said in the OP, I'm not looking for pats on the back. But at least some ACKNOWLEDGMENT of women who ARE different would be nice. The entire of point of this thread was to encourage men that not all women think like a scientific study.

And at this rate, I'd be happy to know at least ONE man out there felt that way.
 
Last edited:

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#36
My hope for a thread like this is that it will hopefully at least reassure some men (I'd be happy if it only spoke to ONE man out there, at this rate) that, just as with stereotypes about men, not all women are the same.

P.S. As I said in the OP, I'm not looking for pats on the back. But at least some ACKNOWLEDGMENT of women who ARE different would be nice. The entire of point of this thread was to encourage men that not all women think like a scientific study.

And at this rate, I'd be happy to know at least ONE man out there felt that way.

I do, Kim. I have sent you a PM about this. :)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#37
I do, Kim. I have sent you a PM about this. :)
And for that, Roh, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am very grateful that your posts are sensitive to both cultural and gender differences.

I don't want to sound at all like I don't appreciate men who think differently, because I appreciate them more than words can say.

I guess, in my own rebellious mind, I wish that the men who don't believe women are like this would make their voices heard just as much, because I know that I personally feel as if dating for a woman has become a matter of, "OK, HOW DO I SOMEHOW CONVINCE THIS GUY THAT I'M NOT AFTER MONEY without having him tell me how many studies and statistics prove the opposite???"

I suppose men feel the same way as far as women thinking all men are out for sex? That you somehow have to convince her, and she's never going to believe? And it's INCREDIBLY discouraging and frustrating? I don't believe a man is out for sex unless he starts saying inappropriate things or making inappropriate moves.

Gentlemen, I understand how infuriating it can be to fight against an in-grained stereotype. And, probably like you, it causes me to move on very quickly.

Which is another point of this thread: stereotypes suck.

So, let's fight them.
 
Last edited:

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#38
And for that, Roh, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am very grateful that your posts are sensitive to both cultural and gender differences.
It's cool, Kim.

By the way, you now owe me $35.00. :rolleyes:

I charge $15.00 for each vote I give. Did you really think my vote came cheap?????
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,585
113
#39
It's cool, Kim.

By the way, you now owe me $35.00. :rolleyes:

I charge $15.00 for each vote I give. Did you really think my vote came cheap?????
If I didn't know any better, Roh, I'd say you were just out for money. :D