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C
Yes he'd have to have the same ideas as the parents and be really easy so that's quite impossible and he would have to get along and respect my ex, haha. For him it's easier. His wife and I get along and she can just help him with the kids. He decides how he raises them. I have to listen to my husband so if he has total different ideas and after 9 years wants to come up with a total set of different rules that's bad for the kids and I won't accept it. Thus I stay single. And the idea of waiting 10 years, no then I think I am very used to it and really like to be single.
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I would if I liked her. But I would tell her I don't want to meet the child unless we have plans to get married. It is not right for the woman to bring different men in and out of the child's life if you know what I mean, and it would be a scum bag move for me to play the step parent then when if we break up, just disappear out of the child's life.
U
I have, more than once. When i was 22 i began dating a woman with 3 kids. My latest relationship i was planning on marrying the woman, and she had a son. In fact her son had some special needs. But i loved her, and i was getting to know him still, but i did like him and enjoy spending time with him.
And despite the insult hurled by the above posted, i am not stupid for doing so. My father married my mother, she had three kids. To make it worse she was damaged from her previous marriage, as well as her three children. That didn't make my father love her any less. They married, i'm the only child between the two of them. My mother died nearly 20 years ago, Her kids view my father as theirs as well. One moved out of state, in part to be closer to my dad and the other is living with us. They call him dad. He is their father. He loves them and treats them as if he were their biological father.
So the self loathing poster above may want to think twice before hurling insults at men with enough character and love to marry a woman who has kids.
And despite the insult hurled by the above posted, i am not stupid for doing so. My father married my mother, she had three kids. To make it worse she was damaged from her previous marriage, as well as her three children. That didn't make my father love her any less. They married, i'm the only child between the two of them. My mother died nearly 20 years ago, Her kids view my father as theirs as well. One moved out of state, in part to be closer to my dad and the other is living with us. They call him dad. He is their father. He loves them and treats them as if he were their biological father.
So the self loathing poster above may want to think twice before hurling insults at men with enough character and love to marry a woman who has kids.
C
Not saying someone who does that is stupid, well maybe I said but that's not what I meant. Any guy who would marry me without realizing all the stuff he gets into and those guys I met are sweet but they have absolutely no idea, it would be really stupid for them to do that, so I told them to just get their own family and find something less complicated. It's doable in certain situations, but not mine and I can't even get kids anymore.
Even the less complicated can get complicated in a hurry. It is best to always pray for clarity in any situation especially relationships. The longer one waits to get married the more baggage can be expected, from both parties. All relationships are possible and doable if God is placed in the center, even in a prospective relationship of yours.
C
They call him dad. There you have it. A man in my case will never be dad because they have a dad and we coparent. Dad is the boss. He'd have to move if dad moves, find a new job and such. I don't care about that, I found a 2 room apartment within a month, but a guy would have to be very flexible and humble and stuff. Maybe one rare creature exists, you never know lol. When I told those guys immediately about all that kind of stuff they were like: okay thanks bye bye hahaha.
S
This is the reason I have been alone for 13 years in raising my two boys after my divorce. To avoid every single thing that has been said here.
I would not go back and insert someone in my children's lives just so I could have a companion. I can say my boys have turned out much better being reared alone with the assistance of men from the church than from any drama a step parent would have brought in those younger years.
I would not go back and insert someone in my children's lives just so I could have a companion. I can say my boys have turned out much better being reared alone with the assistance of men from the church than from any drama a step parent would have brought in those younger years.
U
It's amazing the way you insult men, then go on to speak for them. Makes it easy to back up your insults if you also assume you know what they are thinking. Then brush off the ones that disprove your point. Personally i think the bigger turn off with you isn't your kids, but your attitude. Three posts and all of them negative. When i try to bring something positive into the discussion you dismiss it and bring negativity back in.
I think it's safe to assume we're talking about kids under the age of majority. Many of us slightly-older singles have adult or almost-adult children, in which case this is probably a non-issue.
Most single parents put their kids first. That is good, and I can totally respect that, within a dating context. I would consider dating a single mom, with the understanding that marrying her means that I would become a surrogate dad to her kids, in some sense. Such relationships take extra work and extra grace. I've seen it work, and I've asked for and received God's grace to love kids who aren't my own (a long, non-dating story).
I wouldn't date (or wouldn't continue dating) someone whom I would not consider marrying. If she had her kids on a pedestal, it could only be a dysfunctional marriage. If she had a biblical view of both marriage and parenting, it could work. What I've seen elsewhere is that most single parents have an unbiblical view (that kids come first even after the parent re-marries). Either that sacred cow would have to go, or I would. So any gal with kids who was interested in me would have to think seriously on this. If she found me sufficiently Christ-like, perhaps she would consider it (rofl!)
It's kind of enjoyable to consider these issues from a safe distance!
Most single parents put their kids first. That is good, and I can totally respect that, within a dating context. I would consider dating a single mom, with the understanding that marrying her means that I would become a surrogate dad to her kids, in some sense. Such relationships take extra work and extra grace. I've seen it work, and I've asked for and received God's grace to love kids who aren't my own (a long, non-dating story).
I wouldn't date (or wouldn't continue dating) someone whom I would not consider marrying. If she had her kids on a pedestal, it could only be a dysfunctional marriage. If she had a biblical view of both marriage and parenting, it could work. What I've seen elsewhere is that most single parents have an unbiblical view (that kids come first even after the parent re-marries). Either that sacred cow would have to go, or I would. So any gal with kids who was interested in me would have to think seriously on this. If she found me sufficiently Christ-like, perhaps she would consider it (rofl!)
It's kind of enjoyable to consider these issues from a safe distance!
