How Cliches Affect Dating Relationships

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K

kaylagrl

Guest
#1
Im not single,many here know that.So if this post needs to be moved then mods please do so.

Every once in a while I see a thread in the singles forum and just have to respond. I really hate cliches or stereotypes.I think many issues with relationships and marriages come from biases that we have learned along the way.To make my point I'd like to use some humor. A lot of you are too young to know who Red Skelton was but he was a comedian.So here is his joking opinion of marriage.


RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".


So what cliches or stereotypes may be holding you back from a relationship?
 
C

coby

Guest
#2
Im not single,many here know that.So if this post needs to be moved then mods please do so.

Every once in a while I see a thread in the singles forum and just have to respond. I really hate cliches or stereotypes.I think many issues with relationships and marriages come from biases that we have learned along the way.To make my point I'd like to use some humor. A lot of you are too young to know who Red Skelton was but he was a comedian.So here is his joking opinion of marriage.


RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".


So what cliches or stereotypes may be holding you back from a relationship?
None, it's just that whenever I think: ah well.. I get flashbacks of having to shut up and the monstrous loneliness. The second one just really ruined it for the rest of the normal men in this universe. If anyone has the slightest traits or ideas he had it's AAAAAAARGH NOOOOOOOOO NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!! Lol he had the same thing btw. We both ruined it for each other.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,584
113
#3
Great thread, Kayla--I got a kick out of many of these points!! :D And some of them are a little too close to home. :)

I have to admit that if I go out with someone, I'm usually a bit concerned with "how much I'm going to have to make up for the girls who came before me." For instance, if women have lied to him, cheated on him, used him for money... or maybe he had an abusive mother... I'm certainly sorry all of those things happened to him, but I'm also thinking, "How in the world can I prove to him I'm different and actually get him to believe me?!"

However, I'm sure men feel this way too, and maybe even more so, because we women often like to rant about every last detail of the people who have hurt us. (I stand guilty as charged. But I'm trying to get better!)
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#4
Great thread, Kayla--I got a kick out of many of these points!! :D And some of them are a little too close to home. :)

I have to admit that if I go out with someone, I'm usually a bit concerned with "how much I'm going to have to make up for the girls who came before me." For instance, if women have lied to him, cheated on him, used him for money... or maybe he had an abusive mother... I'm certainly sorry all of those things happened to him, but I'm also thinking, "How in the world can I prove to him I'm different and actually get him to believe me?!"

However, I'm sure men feel this way too, and maybe even more so, because we women often like to rant about every last detail of the people who have hurt us. (I stand guilty as charged. But I'm trying to get better!)

Yes,I have to admit I unloaded when I was dating my husband. I briefly dated a real jerk and I was still hurt and angry over the tricks he played with me.I really thought I had better discernment than that.Im not easy to fool.So I was also mad at myself for not seeing this sucker coming.So I let my future husband know right away not to play me for a fool. He said "That guy was not a real man,a real man doesn't treat a woman that way.They know how to say everything you want to hear." And he gently said to me "You see men like that ruin it for us good guys.I cant prove anything to you,everyone says they're a good person.All I can do is show you." And he proceeded to do just that.

I posted the thread because I see so many threads in the singles forum about "what does a real Godly man/woman want"? Would you date a person that ...was married,had a child,had baggage,licked a cows nose. Are women out for money,are men out for sex. Then people wonder why they are single. Committing to a relationship means giving up all those cliches,letting go of past hurts and allowing yourself and your partner to not be perfect.We hold people to standards we can't make ourselves. Also we have to respect each other.If we hold to stereotypes we'll never be able to have a relationship.Everyone has baggage,EVERYONE. But having a relationship is starting a new page and healing together,learning together.Folks are over thinking it.Yes, you can have standards,you should have, but be real with yourself.My husband isn't perfect and I sure am not, but we communicate, we ask forgiveness and forgive. We try not to let the sun go down on our anger. We both grew up a whole lot in the years we've been together.Honestly I held back because I wasn't sure I could move forward,I was stuck in my mucky mess but it was better than the unknown,so I thought. But once I got moving well,neither of us has looked back except to see how much we've grown and changed. Its easy to sit in the bleachers and criticize the players on the field.It takes courage to be on the field, get knocked down and get up again.You can't win the game sitting in the bleachers. Blessings single folks!
 
C

coby

Guest
#5
Great thread, Kayla--I got a kick out of many of these points!! :D And some of them are a little too close to home. :)

I have to admit that if I go out with someone, I'm usually a bit concerned with "how much I'm going to have to make up for the girls who came before me." For instance, if women have lied to him, cheated on him, used him for money... or maybe he had an abusive mother... I'm certainly sorry all of those things happened to him, but I'm also thinking, "How in the world can I prove to him I'm different and actually get him to believe me?!"

However, I'm sure men feel this way too, and maybe even more so, because we women often like to rant about every last detail of the people who have hurt us. (I stand guilty as charged. But I'm trying to get better!)
hahaha yes, my brother complained to me about his date. All she did was complain to him about the guy she dated before him hahahahaha. He thought: When may I please go home? And she said when he wasn't interested that it was his task to find another man for her. It's my favourite subject too. I should really stop doing it.
 
T

Tarris

Guest
#6
Great thought/comment your new man made. 'I can't prove anything. All I can do is show you'
 
D

DCrawshawJr

Guest
#7
I hate cliches. I grew up on them. What really makes dating using cliches awkward is always thinking, "OK, what do I do next? I hope I don't say anything stupid that they'll just run away."

You know what? I'm starting not to care about that stuff anymore. I'm not saying I'll be a big jerk or anything, but I don't want to sweat the small stuff if I date. Just be real with each other, and if you two marry, don't listen to the world's idea of marriage. Scripture first.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#8
My current relationship hears this cliche all the time - "Babe, make me a sammich."

It is my girlfriend telling me that!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,584
113
#10
My current relationship hears this cliche all the time - "Babe, make me a sammich."

It is my girlfriend telling me that!
Your girlfriend sounds like a smart woman.

I hope she'll give the rest of us lessons.

"Get Your Man To Make You a Sammich in 3 Easy, Trainable Steps!"
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#11
Your girlfriend sounds like a smart woman.

I hope she'll give the rest of us lessons.

"Get Your Man To Make You a Sammich in 3 Easy, Trainable Steps!"
She is very smart. I think she can even write a book on it.

I'll come up with a counter-response "Get Your Woman To Stop Asking You To Make Her A Sammich in 2 Easy, Trainable Steps!"