Emoshunz...

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Siberian_Khatru

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How do you, personally, differentiate between infatuation and something deeper (whatever you want to call it)?

Bonus round: Have you ever been infatuated (especially with a person) - and if so, how did that go/how did you deal with it?
 
Infatuation ends. Eventually you snap out of it and you realize this person isn't perfect after all.

If you're still pursuing them, then it's love. If they do something that really rattles you and you still want to pursue them, then it's a really deep love that you'd better hope works out, because if it doesn't, you'll never forget them.

The good news is they're still hot during the love stage. Thank goodness!
 
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I think I deal with it all by going...self, you're not being logical what's wrong with you? On a good day I get to the point of believing there's nothing really wrong, just an unexpected surge of hormones or emotions or something that will pass in time.

Yeah I know that's not helpful at all, but if anyone ever needs a sanity check in the midst of infatuation then I'm the person to go to.
 
cinder said:
I think I deal with it all by going...self, you're not being logical what's wrong with you? On a good day I get to the point of believing there's nothing really wrong, just an unexpected surge of hormones or emotions or something that will pass in time.

Yeah I know that's not helpful at all, but if anyone ever needs a sanity check in the midst of infatuation then I'm the person to go to.
Click to expand...

I always used to just focus on all the negative things about the person I was infatuated with. That works pretty well at silencing the discord.
 
ServantStrike said:
Infatuation ends. Eventually you snap out of it and you realize this person isn't perfect after all.

If you're still pursuing them, then it's love. If they do something that really rattles you and you still want to pursue them, then it's a really deep love that you'd better hope works out, because if it doesn't, you'll never forget them.

The good news is they're still hot during the love stage. Thank goodness!
Click to expand...

Um...I always thought I was just infatuated with a certain guy from my old church. But I haven't seen him in about five years. I do think about him a lot though. Almost everyday, actually. Am I in love with him? I never really thought I was, everyone has always told me it was just an infatuation and that I would eventually get over it.

For the record, we were never together, but we were close friends for a while. I guess it's not really a matter of "what we had" that I think about, more of "what could've been."
 
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MollyConnor said:
Um...I always thought I was just infatuated with a certain guy from my old church. But I haven't seen him in about five years. I do think about him a lot though. Almost everyday, actually. Am I in love with him? I never really thought I was, everyone has always told me it was just an infatuation and that I would eventually get over it.

For the record, we were never together, but we were close friends for a while. I guess it's not really a matter of "what we had" that I think about, more of "what could've been."
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I would need more information. How did you end up not seeing him for 5 years, but yet you think about him daily?

I guess I should caution people that if they do end up thinking about someone a lot after things don't pan out, they need to crush those thoughts so they can move on. Otherwise they might start writing song lyrics or something.
 
Feeeeeeeliiiiiings
Woowoowoooooo
Nothing more than feeeeeeeeliiiiiiings...

Sorry, random song quote from your neighborhood music nerd. Carry on.
 
Lynx said:
Feeeeeeeliiiiiings
Woowoowoooooo
Nothing more than feeeeeeeeliiiiiiings...

Sorry, random song quote from your neighborhood music nerd. Carry on.
Click to expand...

Oh... fine

[video=youtube;Cbo2n2MzxxE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbo2n2MzxxE[/video]
 
ServantStrike said:
I would need more information. How did you end up not seeing him for 5 years, but yet you think about him daily?

I guess I should caution people that if they do end up thinking about someone a lot after things don't pan out, they need to crush those thoughts so they can move on. Otherwise they might start writing song lyrics or something.
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He left the church because his girlfriend of that time wanted him to leave. I know, I know...I was infatuated with someone who had a girlfriend (they are not together anymore)...how pathetic can I get?
And like I said, the worst part is that I still think about him, dream about him, and I've talked to him a few times on the phone or through facebook.
 
Siberian_Khatru said:
How do you, personally, differentiate between infatuation and something deeper (whatever you want to call it)?

Bonus round: Have you ever been infatuated (especially with a person) - and if so, how did that go/how did you deal with it?
Click to expand...

Like with all things you can't really rush into anything, so right now, I like to let interests, not just people, but generally any interest and infatuation set in for a goooood minute before jumping to any conclusions.
 
MollyConnor said:
He left the church because his girlfriend of that time wanted him to leave. I know, I know...I was infatuated with someone who had a girlfriend (they are not together anymore)...how pathetic can I get?
And like I said, the worst part is that I still think about him, dream about him, and I've talked to him a few times on the phone or through facebook.
Click to expand...

Don't use words like pathetic when describing yourself. I've read enough of your posts to say definitively you're not pathetic.

If you want to find someone, you certainly can - I just recommend you don't go after this particular gentleman unless he's now single. If it makes you feel any better, I ended my one and only other serious dating relationship when I was 20 and through a series of circumstances ended up not dating anyone until I hit nearly 30. I don't have an exact number but it was between 9 and 9.5 years. I even (and this is truly bizarre) ended up getting phone numbers of two women I was interested in during that time period but the one I lost (man that was stupid) and the other I didn't call because the entire situation was just bizarre (and this is me we're talking about, so it was truly bizarre).

I didn't end up worse for wear. I actually ended up engaged. And I wasn't being facetious with my first post. I knew things with my fiance could actually go somewhere when I realized that my [now] fiance wasn't perfect - she was a flawed human being that I still didn't want to live without. Anything else that came up after that point was just a line item to be worked out, because I wanted her and that was final. Compare that to my previous relationship where there were flaws, and they weren't worth working out (not that I didn't think about it all the time).

So, IDK, I'm rambling. Get out there and start talking to strangers. Just do it in a well lit place. Or talk to people who aren't entirely strangers. It'll happen.
 
Only time will tell if its something real. At first you will not know the difference because it all begins with infatuation. The real thing grows stronger in time. Even if you break up it will not change. The agony of separation can sometimes make it even stronger. They say it takes 2 years for the love chemicals in your brain to wear off. By then you can tell if its a deeper feeling or not. When two hearts beat as one, you are drawn to each other. You cant deny the connection you two have. You will feel empty without the other in your life. And when you fight or hurt each other, you feel the pain that other feels. I didnt expect that a heartache could actually feel like a real chest pain. Like you cant breath. Stupid love.

A friend told me that there was one time that she didnt know her boyfriend was around, her heart was beating fast and little later she saw him. That explained the trachardia. Lol! Anyone experienced this?
 
There's already a song about this thread...

[video=youtube;82cJgPXU-ik]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82cJgPXU-ik[/video]
 
/bans zeroturbulence from thread

I appreciate the insights. 2016 is off to a peculiar start.

ServantStrike said:
Eventually you snap out of it and you realize this person isn't perfect after all.
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Is the idolization what it hinges on? I'm genuinely interested in expanding on this.

MollyConnor said:
For the record, we were never together, but we were close friends for a while. I guess it's not really a matter of "what we had" that I think about, more of "what could've been."
Click to expand...
They're not totally mutually exclusive. Thanks Molly. :)

James4redemption said:
Like with all things you can't really rush into anything, so right now, I like to let interests, not just people, but generally any interest and infatuation set in for a goooood minute before jumping to any conclusions.
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Sure. No rushing here, that's for definite. Thanks.
 
Ok serious answer time...

Infatuation is simply a very strong attraction to someone. It might be triggered by their physical appearance, personality, quirks, status, their knowledge of a certain subject/s, or a combination of those things..

Love is something that is built on a foundation of trust, caring and support. When love is true, it can overcome trials and differences that would break other relationships apart.

I've found that infatuation only persists as long as the image of the person remains intact. Once you realize that the person is just as imperfect as everyone else, the infatuation subsides.
 
ServantStrike said:
I would need more information. How did you end up not seeing him for 5 years, but yet you think about him daily?

I guess I should caution people that if they do end up thinking about someone a lot after things don't pan out, they need to crush those thoughts so they can move on. Otherwise they might start writing song lyrics or something.
Click to expand...

Ouch, bro. Sorry for processing my feelings through songs that thousands of people relate to... ^_~

[video=youtube;xiqXGEV1Bms]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiqXGEV1Bms[/video]

*Actual response to OP still under deliberation*
 
So to get past an infatuation you have to recreate them as horrible? I don't see that as healthy. Why not just allow things to happen more naturally? Use less negative ways to speed up the process in a way that doesn't set your brain to having to trash someone to rush past the problem and approach it in a way that is actually beneficial?
 
I personally have never been infatuated with an individual. Sadly I have been to many times to count on the receiving end of infatuations...they tend to turn stalker-ish. As to differentiate the difference between the two I would say use what I use as the tool if I would really want to continue dating an individual. EXAMPLE - I do not hang well with throwing up - so if I could see myself cleaning their puke up, or holding their head as they do it...then it is something deeper.
 
Siberian_Khatru said:
How do you, personally, differentiate between infatuation and something deeper (whatever you want to call it)?

Bonus round: Have you ever been infatuated (especially with a person) - and if so, how did that go/how did you deal with it?
Click to expand...

Infatuation is just because he has a pretty face and is nice and shows interest but you don't even know him. It leaves immediately when he doesn't like you back or when you get to know the person. The other thing you can try to get rid of it, but it doesn't go away. Even with an ex, although those feelings are gone you still care about them and want them to be happy even with someone else.
 
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