Hi CC! I'm new to the forums so please me patient and bare with me!
I need some help finding out what a attracts or deters a man from a girl. After a disasterous first date with a guy that I liked for over 2 years landed me in the friendzone I want to make sure I know what attracts y'all to us girls. My first date story is a long one so I really won't go into it. I wish I could because it's super hilarious and sad all at the same time but the point is I ended up friendzoned by a really cool guy I liked a whole lot. Guys how do I avoid this from happening again? Currently I'm crushing on 2 guys who are very different. One of Themis funny outgoing and just a fun guy to be around. (I like this guy the most) The other is very shy reserved and likes to keep to himself most of the time. He's still very kind and caring and is very thoughtful towards others. Both guys recently got out of serious relationships. It's funny how things change in life. Last year I thought these guys were totally off limits and preparing for marriage I was also so focused on my old crush that I didn't even notice them. But now here they are single and available lol
How do I get the attention of these guys? I have met them both once. We all go to the same church. I work with the shy guy at the church and I attend Sunday school class with the outgoing guy. What do I do to strike up conversation with them without it being weird? How do I get them to chase me? Not the other way around.
It depends on the guy. There's no formula, nor one-size-fits-all method. And to be quite honest, there is no reason why you can't chase them. It's an arbitrary social convention that a guy should chase a girl. I don't get it. I would say this though: don't change yourself and who you are just to fit into a mold of what you think someone else might want. Ask yourself instead "what do I want in a person?" and "are we compatible?"
Apart from that, there are some things that are pretty much universally adored by men. Physical appearance is the big one. It's gotta be said, and every human being is the same. It's been scientifically proven that, in pictures and stills, people are significantly more attracted to beautiful people. Babies will even look at a pretty/handsome face for longer than an average one. Because it attracts them. So make an effort with your appearance: work out, eat well, dress with style. It's not a case of money: well-fitted jeans and converse is a rockin' look for any woman, and they aren't expensive. Brush your teeth. Smell nice. Get a current haircut. Stand up straight.
The other thing I can say is that modern women have a horrible tendency to have extremely unrealistic, ridiculously high expectations for men, but simultaneously don't have those same expectations for themselves. For instance, a guy's gotta be handsome, fit, tall, strong, kind, caring, generous, rich, hard working, loyal, faithful, exciting, funny, romantic, charming, sensitive, attuned, intelligent, well-read, ambitious ..etc etc. So my last piece of advice to you is this: you shouldn't expect a man to be something which you yourself aren't, nor should you expect any man to do something which you yourself are not prepared to do. Eat humble pie.
Perfect people don't exist.
