I wish I wasn't sexual
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C
I don't always see the Lord as my Crush lol, but when I feel lonely or something and in a 'I want a partner' mood since I saw this movie I always have to think of this guy, so funny.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v2xwT7j1FCE
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v2xwT7j1FCE
I think it's great that you all have told me your stories, but that doesn't mean anything like that will happen for me. I know, I sound self-pitying. But at least I'm being honest. I also forgot to mention that I suffer from chronic fatigue, and am almost always tired. I've tried solution after solution for both that and my depression. I've prayed to God time after time for relief. But nothing has worked. Apparently he wants to keep me here so I'll "learn" some important life lesson. It also doesn't help that in the past few months I've thought about suicide.
Why give me the keys if I'm not allowed to drive the car? Why make me this needy if it's always just out of reach? As good as imaginary friends and the internet might be, it's never the same as having a relationship with an actual, physical person.
Why give me the keys if I'm not allowed to drive the car? Why make me this needy if it's always just out of reach? As good as imaginary friends and the internet might be, it's never the same as having a relationship with an actual, physical person.
What is one expected to do when someone comes asking questions, is given answers, but continues to ask the questions?
I don't think your problem is your chronic fatigue and Asperger's. satan's got you so buried in issues that you're not even hearing answers any more.
God's given you the keys to the car ... problem is you're trying to drive someone else's car.
I don't think your problem is your chronic fatigue and Asperger's. satan's got you so buried in issues that you're not even hearing answers any more.
God's given you the keys to the car ... problem is you're trying to drive someone else's car.
X
God wants you to trust him completely. Such as why we have the physical needs, so we will breakdown and depend on him. From your past posts, are you sure you're not feeling a physical need for relationship? (AKA a strong sex drive?) If you pursue a relationship just for sex, it's highly unlikely God will assist you in that.
Also (I'm not trying to be mean, no offense intended) try to avoid using Aspergers as an excuse for not having a huge social life. If you keep telling yourself over and over, your confidence will never improve. Living in fear of not starting relationships with people because they might not last is not worth it. Meet the challenge! (Do you go to church? Do you have a job? I work with a few people with aspergers and they are all awesome. Great people that I and others at my job have no problems interacting on a professional or personal level. Others can do it, you can do it too!
If you ask God for help with your problem but you don't expect him to do anything about it, does that meet the definition of trust? Do you believe that God will guide your life down the path that he believes is the greatest, and do you trust his judgement? Think about it for a while...
In the end, we all have periods of doubt. We are merely human, not God. God loved us enough to send his son to experience all of this. Read through Mathew, Mark, Luke and John. Fear, temptation, doubt... Jesus experienced it all. God understands in better form then humans how hard life is. Will you trust your own judgement? Or God, the being that created EVERYTHING. He parted the Red Sea!! If God is capable of doing that with such perfection and impeccable timing, is he not 100% capable of taking care of each of our individual needs in his time? Read through the Bible. (Song of Solomon may ease your mind a bit.) TRUST his judgment! Even the smartest humans are capable of mistakes, God is not even capable of a mistake. Imagine how that is even possible. God cannot make a mistake. His plan for you is straight up perfection, don't live in fear of trusting God. He will do some great things for you.
(If you need somebody to yak at, hit me up. I got time.)
Also (I'm not trying to be mean, no offense intended) try to avoid using Aspergers as an excuse for not having a huge social life. If you keep telling yourself over and over, your confidence will never improve. Living in fear of not starting relationships with people because they might not last is not worth it. Meet the challenge! (Do you go to church? Do you have a job? I work with a few people with aspergers and they are all awesome. Great people that I and others at my job have no problems interacting on a professional or personal level. Others can do it, you can do it too!
If you ask God for help with your problem but you don't expect him to do anything about it, does that meet the definition of trust? Do you believe that God will guide your life down the path that he believes is the greatest, and do you trust his judgement? Think about it for a while...
In the end, we all have periods of doubt. We are merely human, not God. God loved us enough to send his son to experience all of this. Read through Mathew, Mark, Luke and John. Fear, temptation, doubt... Jesus experienced it all. God understands in better form then humans how hard life is. Will you trust your own judgement? Or God, the being that created EVERYTHING. He parted the Red Sea!! If God is capable of doing that with such perfection and impeccable timing, is he not 100% capable of taking care of each of our individual needs in his time? Read through the Bible. (Song of Solomon may ease your mind a bit.) TRUST his judgment! Even the smartest humans are capable of mistakes, God is not even capable of a mistake. Imagine how that is even possible. God cannot make a mistake. His plan for you is straight up perfection, don't live in fear of trusting God. He will do some great things for you.
(If you need somebody to yak at, hit me up. I got time.)
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G
"I think I know just what you need --- a good long look at other people in the world who are 'worse off than you' --- that ought to cheer you up..."
Do you have any available opportunities right now to help someone "less fortunate than yourself"...?
It can be a great "outlook-adjuster"...
Ricky makes a very good point here. You should try to "do your best" to learn how to "do the best you can" with what you have - or if you prefer - what you have.
God will help you --- if you let Him...
But, you are going to have to get your focus - off of you - on to God - and on to other people.
What you are needing most right now -- "a certain kind of head and heart stability and balance" - can be accomplished!
However, you have to have some patience...
And, you have to make a sufficient effort to put yourself - and keep yourself - into a different mind-set.
The problem is -- you are "too focused" on "the particular needs of the moment" to allow yourself to "feel" anything different. You must "break the cycle" by forcing yourself to engage in [ a healthy activity ] outside of the confines of the 'trap' you have fallen into.
You will "feel all the better" the more you engage your mind in other [ useful things ] besides your "physical woes" -- the mind has wonderful capabilities to "transcend the mundane" - IF you know how to discipline your mind to think appropriately
Please don't misunderstand what I am saying -- it is not my intent to belittle the significance of the 'pain' in your situation; rather, I am trying to help you see that "there is a way" out of the 'trap' you are in -- and, the ability to achieve it exists in your own mind.
You have the ability and the power to "break free" from this 'tragedy' -- by "changing the landscape" of the perceptions of your mind.
You may not have total control over your situation, but you do have control over how you perceive it - and, how you choose to deal with it.
Do you have any available opportunities right now to help someone "less fortunate than yourself"...?
It can be a great "outlook-adjuster"...
Ricky makes a very good point here. You should try to "do your best" to learn how to "do the best you can" with what you have - or if you prefer - what you have.
God will help you --- if you let Him...
But, you are going to have to get your focus - off of you - on to God - and on to other people.
What you are needing most right now -- "a certain kind of head and heart stability and balance" - can be accomplished!
However, you have to have some patience...
And, you have to make a sufficient effort to put yourself - and keep yourself - into a different mind-set.
The problem is -- you are "too focused" on "the particular needs of the moment" to allow yourself to "feel" anything different. You must "break the cycle" by forcing yourself to engage in [ a healthy activity ] outside of the confines of the 'trap' you have fallen into.
You will "feel all the better" the more you engage your mind in other [ useful things ] besides your "physical woes" -- the mind has wonderful capabilities to "transcend the mundane" - IF you know how to discipline your mind to think appropriately
Please don't misunderstand what I am saying -- it is not my intent to belittle the significance of the 'pain' in your situation; rather, I am trying to help you see that "there is a way" out of the 'trap' you are in -- and, the ability to achieve it exists in your own mind.
You have the ability and the power to "break free" from this 'tragedy' -- by "changing the landscape" of the perceptions of your mind.
You may not have total control over your situation, but you do have control over how you perceive it - and, how you choose to deal with it.
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E
From what you've written, it doesn't seem like your problem is sexuality as much as it is a difficulty in forming relationships in general. I can't speak for Asperger's because I'm not in the know there, but I can definitely tell you that the problem isn't from being sexual. If you're have trouble forming relationships at all through emotional bonds, then even if you were having (*a lot) of sex, you wouldn't feel any closer with anybody. Love forms bonds which break loneliness, not sex. Sex would only help you if it was in a real marriage relationship. Although sex can and will create intimacy within marriage, from what you've said it seems that your primary concern should be with relationship skills. When you've got a solid marriage relationship going based off Christ and deep committed Love, then you can start with the sexual side of a romance. But you gotta make a romance first. Pray about it, and be pure but bold. Relationship stuff can be scary because it's complicated, but trust in God. He didn't make a mistake when He made you just the way you are. One final note... do not sin, my Sister.
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S
HistoryPrincess,
My story is not too different from yours. I have been a stutterer since I was young and forming friendships/relationships has been extremely difficult in my lifetime. I am now 32 years old and never had a long term relationship. Throughout this time, I experienced frustration, loneliness, anger, depression, anxiety and fear as well. The last few years have even been worse because I suffered an injury that is still causing me pain each day and makes my speech impediment worse. I really don't know what to say but don't give up. I'm still fighting each day and reading the Bible is the only thing that gives me hope.
My story is not too different from yours. I have been a stutterer since I was young and forming friendships/relationships has been extremely difficult in my lifetime. I am now 32 years old and never had a long term relationship. Throughout this time, I experienced frustration, loneliness, anger, depression, anxiety and fear as well. The last few years have even been worse because I suffered an injury that is still causing me pain each day and makes my speech impediment worse. I really don't know what to say but don't give up. I'm still fighting each day and reading the Bible is the only thing that gives me hope.
U
-I've had depression for 26 years. I've thought about suicide a few times. I battled anxiety. Been homeless. Have always struggled with holding down jobs, and it is one of the things that prevented me from getting a better education.
-My last girlfriend has OCD and ADHD. She's a single mother. Anxiety, her anxiety was so severe for 2 years she couldn't work or be a mother to her son. He also has ADHD and sensory problems, and i suspect some OCD as well. I could give more details about all she has, and still has to face, but that's not my place to say more. She has a great heart, but her conditions and other problems can sometimes make it difficult for her to see, and affect her ability to do more with her life, even though she is working now.
-One of my previous best friends was bipolar. She was a stripper, a drug addict and tried to kill her husband, from her bipolar. She thought she got her bipolar under control, and went back to school, but her bipolar kept interfering and i believe she gave up on getting her double major in Psychiatry and Neurology. And she was smart enough to do it, but she was held back.
I think RickyZ said it right, you have issues, and there are definite challenges that come with those issues. So i'm not trying to make light of them. But it's also easy to lose site of the person you are and identify yourself as the problem instead.
You came to this site looking for something, but so far all you have done is shrug off everything people have said in order to help you, encourage you or anything else. That's not a fatigue problem. That's not an Aspergers problem. That's an attitude problem. And that is what will hold you back in your life more than fatigue and Aspergers.
And yes, i've had girlfriends. Friendships. But i've also had my heart broken many times. I've also been betrayed often. We all have. So be grateful that you have been spared some of the pain most of us have had to endure.
Maybe you aren't ready for a physical, in person, type of relationship. You are still young, but already bitter. You distance yourself from God purposefully. You resist anything positive people have said here. This is a reflection on the condition of your heart and your view of the world. Getting a boyfriend won't magically cure that. It will only reflect in your relationship. Maybe rather than expecting things to happen on your time, you step back and take the time to learn to improve yourself. Improve your walk with God.
The internet could be a good place for you to start learning to communicate better. Learning better ways of interacting with people. So that maybe, one day, if God does bring someone into your life, you have learned better ways of doing things and developed a better attitude, so that you can take those things into the relationship and have a chance at it working. Because right now if you got into a relationship, i am fairly certain it would not last.
So rather than be bitter you don't have what you want, why not take the time to grow, so that when what you want does come along you are more well suited and prepared to make it the best you can?
-My last girlfriend has OCD and ADHD. She's a single mother. Anxiety, her anxiety was so severe for 2 years she couldn't work or be a mother to her son. He also has ADHD and sensory problems, and i suspect some OCD as well. I could give more details about all she has, and still has to face, but that's not my place to say more. She has a great heart, but her conditions and other problems can sometimes make it difficult for her to see, and affect her ability to do more with her life, even though she is working now.
-One of my previous best friends was bipolar. She was a stripper, a drug addict and tried to kill her husband, from her bipolar. She thought she got her bipolar under control, and went back to school, but her bipolar kept interfering and i believe she gave up on getting her double major in Psychiatry and Neurology. And she was smart enough to do it, but she was held back.
I think RickyZ said it right, you have issues, and there are definite challenges that come with those issues. So i'm not trying to make light of them. But it's also easy to lose site of the person you are and identify yourself as the problem instead.
You came to this site looking for something, but so far all you have done is shrug off everything people have said in order to help you, encourage you or anything else. That's not a fatigue problem. That's not an Aspergers problem. That's an attitude problem. And that is what will hold you back in your life more than fatigue and Aspergers.
And yes, i've had girlfriends. Friendships. But i've also had my heart broken many times. I've also been betrayed often. We all have. So be grateful that you have been spared some of the pain most of us have had to endure.
Maybe you aren't ready for a physical, in person, type of relationship. You are still young, but already bitter. You distance yourself from God purposefully. You resist anything positive people have said here. This is a reflection on the condition of your heart and your view of the world. Getting a boyfriend won't magically cure that. It will only reflect in your relationship. Maybe rather than expecting things to happen on your time, you step back and take the time to learn to improve yourself. Improve your walk with God.
The internet could be a good place for you to start learning to communicate better. Learning better ways of interacting with people. So that maybe, one day, if God does bring someone into your life, you have learned better ways of doing things and developed a better attitude, so that you can take those things into the relationship and have a chance at it working. Because right now if you got into a relationship, i am fairly certain it would not last.
So rather than be bitter you don't have what you want, why not take the time to grow, so that when what you want does come along you are more well suited and prepared to make it the best you can?
Here are some practical ideas for you:
1. Relating well to others is LEARNED behavior. It's a SKILL SET. There are lots of groups of people who struggle with this skill set. Certainly, people on the spectrum struggle because they are often easily over-stimulated by interaction with people AND they struggle to communicate their needs. However, children raised in poverty often struggle with these issues if they don't get enough parent interaction. Sometimes only-children struggle with this because they had no siblings. People who have anxiety struggle with it. The list goes on.
2. If something is a SKILL SET, then it can be LEARNED.
3. If you can LEARN how to relate better to others, then you need to find the RIGHT TEACHER. (I'm an introvert and chit-chat makes me nutty, but it makes other people feel more comfortable. I had to learn how to engage in chit-chat with others. This, I learned simply by watching how others "chit-chatted" and mimicking it).
I think you should seek out a person to help teach you how to be more social in a way that would work for you. This might mean going to a therapist with the specific agenda of building this skill set. This might involve find a mentor (through your church, perhaps, or a local organization) that understands Asperger's and could regularly meet with you to help you develop your skills.
There are also some BOOKS out there that you might find useful. Self-help stuff about building friendships, etc. You can get ideas and try them out.
There are likely support groups out there specifically for people with Asperger's.
Please consider seeking outside help. If your tendency is to be melancholy, then you'll need to encouragement of another person to guide you along. Particularly since building some of these skills will feel very uncomfortable at first.
1. Relating well to others is LEARNED behavior. It's a SKILL SET. There are lots of groups of people who struggle with this skill set. Certainly, people on the spectrum struggle because they are often easily over-stimulated by interaction with people AND they struggle to communicate their needs. However, children raised in poverty often struggle with these issues if they don't get enough parent interaction. Sometimes only-children struggle with this because they had no siblings. People who have anxiety struggle with it. The list goes on.
2. If something is a SKILL SET, then it can be LEARNED.
3. If you can LEARN how to relate better to others, then you need to find the RIGHT TEACHER. (I'm an introvert and chit-chat makes me nutty, but it makes other people feel more comfortable. I had to learn how to engage in chit-chat with others. This, I learned simply by watching how others "chit-chatted" and mimicking it).
I think you should seek out a person to help teach you how to be more social in a way that would work for you. This might mean going to a therapist with the specific agenda of building this skill set. This might involve find a mentor (through your church, perhaps, or a local organization) that understands Asperger's and could regularly meet with you to help you develop your skills.
There are also some BOOKS out there that you might find useful. Self-help stuff about building friendships, etc. You can get ideas and try them out.
There are likely support groups out there specifically for people with Asperger's.
Please consider seeking outside help. If your tendency is to be melancholy, then you'll need to encouragement of another person to guide you along. Particularly since building some of these skills will feel very uncomfortable at first.