How can males and females be friends without problems happening?

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spunkycat08

Senior Member
#1
Dec 7, 2013
403
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#1
How can males and females be friends without problems happening such as emotional attachment, marking your territory *by either gender*?
How can males and females help each-other without one of the interpreting their time together as a date?

What led me to asking this is the internet article pure intimacy, not your buddy
 
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Tresnouveau_ne

Banned
#2
Jan 31, 2016
161
7
0
#2
spunkycat08 said:
How can males and females be friends without problems happening such as emotional attachment, marking your territory *by either gender*?
How can males and females help each-other without one of the interpreting their time together as a date?

What led me to asking this is the internet article pure intimacy, not your buddy
Click to expand...
One word:communication!
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#3
Aug 13, 2014
24,895
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Shoot, I don't know how it happens. It just happens. I'm friends with women at church, women at work, most of them married, some of them single. I'm not "interested" in any of them romantically but some of them are downright great friends. I can't tell you how to do it because I didn't set out to try to do it, I just have great friends.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#4
Aug 2, 2009
24,578
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#4
It happens all the time. Its called the friendzone
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#6
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
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#6
ah the friendzone. i was there for the longest time :)
 
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coby

Guest
#8
#8
I don't stay long in friendzones. I don't have patience for that. I drunk text the guy to tell him I love him, he gets terrified and the friendzone is over hahahahahahahahaha
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,578
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#9
spunkycat08 said:
How can males and females be friends without problems happening such as emotional attachment, marking your territory *by either gender*?
How can males and females help each-other without one of the interpreting their time together as a date?

What led me to asking this is the internet article pure intimacy, not your buddy
Click to expand...

Ok, serious answer...

It can't.

It can't happen because unless he/she is a vampire that can turn off their feelings by using their humanity switch, emotional attachment by at least one party is inevitable. Which of course brings us to either one of two inevitable conclusions... or either 'relationship' or 'friendzone'.

 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#10
Aug 2, 2009
24,578
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#10
coby said:
I don't stay long in friendzones. I don't have patience for that. I drunk text the guy to tell him I love him, he gets terrified and the friendzone is over hahahahahahahahaha
Click to expand...
Hahaha my friendzone days are over.. I've moved on to what I call the no-zone. The no-zone is easier because you aren't even hoping for a relationship. :rolleyes:
 
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skylove7

Guest
#11
#11
Pfew lol

Well we know Zeroturbulence is real lol
You ain't no catfish ZT

Yeeeee Hawww!
Blessing lol
 
YankeesGurl

YankeesGurl

Banned
#12
Mar 14, 2015
107
1
0
#12
I have to respectfully dissagree.

When I was in college, my best friend was guy. We did everything together. No romantic feelings from either side.

And for the last three years, I have had a super great friend locally who is a guy....no feelings on either side. I love him like family though. He is that good of a friend.

So yes, like Lynx said....some are just like that. *shrugs* Can't explain it...they just are.


zeroturbulence said:

Ok, serious answer...

It can't.

It can't happen because unless he/she is a vampire that can turn off their feelings by using their humanity switch, emotional attachment by at least one party is inevitable. Which of course brings us to either one of two inevitable conclusions... or either 'relationship' or 'friendzone'.

Click to expand...
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#13
May 23, 2009
14,943
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#13
"How can males and females be friends without problems happening?"

It's all about preventative measures.

Namely, some mace and a barbed wire fence.

*Serious answer--I've had guy friends... No attraction whatsoever so that's what made it work, but I agree it can be very tricky.*
 
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Tintin

Guest
#14
#14
I don't know. I have quite a number of female friends and I'm not attracted to them. You either are or you aren't. If you have romantic chemistry, you'll attract each other like magnets, no matter what. If you don't have that chemistry, it won't be a problem. I've only ever liked one of my female friends, and that was back in my uni days. In no uncertain terms she told me that she didn't like me. Many years later and she's been married for some years now. She's one of my best friends and I get along great with her husband. Once she told me No, all those years ago, I was no longer attracted to her. Funny how that works.
 
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coby

Guest
#15
#15
Tintin said:
I don't know. I have quite a number of female friends and I'm not attracted to them. You either are or you aren't. If you have romantic chemistry, you'll attract each other like magnets, no matter what. If you don't have that chemistry, it won't be a problem. I've only ever liked one of my female friends, and that was back in my uni days. In no uncertain terms she told me that she didn't like me. Many years later and she's been married for some years now. She's one of my best friends and I get along great with her husband. Once she told me No, all those years ago, I was no longer attracted to her. Funny how that works.
Click to expand...
Lol I remember that. That was when I was young. Now that I'm old and desperate I tend to crush on everything that says hi, but if they don't like me back it is as soon vanished as it came, no problem.
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
#16
#16
It shouldn't be a problem really
It is only a problem if one of them don't respect the other persons boundaries
(I've had friends once where we all, boys and girls, would lay in a heap on the floor, heads on each others laps, and that was that. I have other friends I'd never trust enough to do that because they don't know where to stop what they call friendship and I call ... eh, well, certainly not friendship
 
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Ultimatum77

Guest
#17
#17
Easy remember that God is watching you and your actions and you need to please Him rather than yourself....If you keep God foremost in everything there are no problems, I have great friends that are girls and we have no problems, and are not into that serious relationship type thing... we all love God encourage each other and honestly it doesn't even cross my mind to make it more than a friendship...it's all about where your perspective lies, what your motives are....are they to find someone to be in a relationship with or on pleasing God in every situation.....I'd rather do the latter b/c God will sort out the right relationship for me in His perfect time....
 
JennaLeanne

JennaLeanne

Senior Member
#18
Dec 26, 2015
411
37
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#18
I totally get this post, Its a difficult one, especially if you were such a needy emotional wreck like myself. Seriously, every dude i met i thought was gonna be my husband haaa, i cringe now!

The more our relationship develops with God the more we are aware of unhealthy attatchments, christ has to be the centre of everything, always in our thoughts.. always in our actions then can we develop relationships that are in him.

To be led by the spirit is to have wisdom. For example its great to chill and watch a movie with a friend but i wouldnt sit all cozy in the dark cuddled up watching one with a male friend, for me that would be silly, it could potentially lead to something that could be really damaging, we have to be aware of these things and guard our hearts.

Im just saying this through my own experience, like now if i know a guy is really pursuing me romantically then i would put boundaries in place and really make it christ centered. The holy spirit leads us into all truth and will show us these things if we are willing to listen.

Im just learning this through experience. Bless you xx
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#19
Mar 13, 2014
41,302
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Tennessee
#19
From my own personal experience I don't believe that it's possible. Invariably, one or the other usually want to pursue things further. This can be a good thing if you desire a relationship leading into marriage but it may cause unnecessary anguish if you don't. It's definitely best to keep at a safe distance if you are already in an growing, enduring relationship.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#20
Aug 2, 2009
24,578
4,268
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#20
If it seems like neither party is having feelings it could be that:

1) I was wrong and it's possible, or...

2) One of the party's just isn't letting on or is trying to deny their feelings....

I guess it can't be proven scientificalily. :p
 
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