Hey Everyone,
Many singles here talk about their loneliness and/or sexual temptations, and we often believe that marrying as soon as possible will clear up both of these issues.
Could it be though, that in order for God to truly prepare some of us for our marriages, He has to take us to even deeper levels of loneliness, instead of lightening the load?
Something I've thought about a lot over the years is, how much time do we all expect to spend with our future spouse? Do you expect that you will be together every evening? I think most people would expect that. But how well would you cope if you and your spouse had to spend extended amounts of time apart?
For example, what happens when:
* A spouse feels a calling to go into the military. How well would you cope with having your spouse on tour for 6 months or a year at a time?
* What if one spouse (or both) has to travel for work, meaning that they will apart several for several weeks, or even months, out of the year? I've known some couples in which the wife feels like a single parent because she has just about raised their children alone. Ladies, do you want a man with a "good" job? What if that means you will hardly ever see him? I don't know many people with "good" careers who haven't sacrificed a good portion of their home lives in the process.
* What if one spouse (or both) feels a strong calling into a certain area of ministry, and this winds up devouring most of his/her time? We all say we want a "strong man/woman of God." What if that's person's calling is going to cut into the time he or she can dedicate to you, and your time together will seem more like an afterthought?
* What if a couple has opposite working hours? I know many couples who are like this: Spouse 1 works 7AM to 3AM, and Spouse 2 works 4PM to midnight--they barely see each other in passing, and usually never have the same days off. Even if they do have a day off, it has to be spent on grocery shopping, errands, cleaning, and the kids' activities. Many couples who have children have to arrange schedules like this on purpose in order to make sure someone is always there with the kids.
Many times, these situations are uncontrollable and not something that can easily be changed. The couples I know who rarely see each other did not start out that way, but if they want to pay the bills, save on childcare costs, and keep getting promoted at work, their time together is the first thing that has to be sacrificed.
What if God knows that you will someday be in a marital situation in which you might go through times of hardly ever getting any alone time with your spouse?
- How would this affect your willpower to stay faithful?
- What impact would it have on the strength of your marriage?
- Would you tough it out, or would you decide this couldn't possibly be God's best for you... and you needed to go looking for another situation that is?
Over the years, these are the questions I've come to ask myself about my own singleness. What if the best way for God to prepare us for marriage... is to first take us through even more intense levels of loneliness and temptation, not less, because He knows that we are going to need to learn how to cope with this (and defeat it) before we get married?
Please DO NOT feel as if you have to answer all the questions in this thread--I simply used them as examples of very real situations we may all find ourselves in someday.
So many of us struggle with loneliness right now as singles...
Have you ever considered that God may using this to cope with the times we may feel alone in a marriage as well?
Many singles here talk about their loneliness and/or sexual temptations, and we often believe that marrying as soon as possible will clear up both of these issues.
Could it be though, that in order for God to truly prepare some of us for our marriages, He has to take us to even deeper levels of loneliness, instead of lightening the load?
Something I've thought about a lot over the years is, how much time do we all expect to spend with our future spouse? Do you expect that you will be together every evening? I think most people would expect that. But how well would you cope if you and your spouse had to spend extended amounts of time apart?
For example, what happens when:
* A spouse feels a calling to go into the military. How well would you cope with having your spouse on tour for 6 months or a year at a time?
* What if one spouse (or both) has to travel for work, meaning that they will apart several for several weeks, or even months, out of the year? I've known some couples in which the wife feels like a single parent because she has just about raised their children alone. Ladies, do you want a man with a "good" job? What if that means you will hardly ever see him? I don't know many people with "good" careers who haven't sacrificed a good portion of their home lives in the process.
* What if one spouse (or both) feels a strong calling into a certain area of ministry, and this winds up devouring most of his/her time? We all say we want a "strong man/woman of God." What if that's person's calling is going to cut into the time he or she can dedicate to you, and your time together will seem more like an afterthought?
* What if a couple has opposite working hours? I know many couples who are like this: Spouse 1 works 7AM to 3AM, and Spouse 2 works 4PM to midnight--they barely see each other in passing, and usually never have the same days off. Even if they do have a day off, it has to be spent on grocery shopping, errands, cleaning, and the kids' activities. Many couples who have children have to arrange schedules like this on purpose in order to make sure someone is always there with the kids.
Many times, these situations are uncontrollable and not something that can easily be changed. The couples I know who rarely see each other did not start out that way, but if they want to pay the bills, save on childcare costs, and keep getting promoted at work, their time together is the first thing that has to be sacrificed.
What if God knows that you will someday be in a marital situation in which you might go through times of hardly ever getting any alone time with your spouse?
- How would this affect your willpower to stay faithful?
- What impact would it have on the strength of your marriage?
- Would you tough it out, or would you decide this couldn't possibly be God's best for you... and you needed to go looking for another situation that is?
Over the years, these are the questions I've come to ask myself about my own singleness. What if the best way for God to prepare us for marriage... is to first take us through even more intense levels of loneliness and temptation, not less, because He knows that we are going to need to learn how to cope with this (and defeat it) before we get married?
Please DO NOT feel as if you have to answer all the questions in this thread--I simply used them as examples of very real situations we may all find ourselves in someday.
So many of us struggle with loneliness right now as singles...
Have you ever considered that God may using this to cope with the times we may feel alone in a marriage as well?
