I don't understand why this keeps happening to me.
I meet nice guys at church and by all standards we're compatible. We become friends first and talk about the possibility of more. Then out of the blue weeks or months down the road he just tells me that he doesn't want to be more than my friend and I see him enter a relationship with someone else soon after. Or he says he's not ready to settle down with the prospect of marriage yet, and then once again they end up with another girl.
I use online dating sites to find compatible matches. I meet many with the same values and beliefs and only a few reply to my messages. I build up nice conversation with them and they act interested in me and one of two things happen. They either once again say they only see me as a friend or they sever the communications by blocking me or not replying to me, and then today. I had been talking to this really amazing guy for about a month and we really clicked and he always said he believed God brought us together and how well we clicked and this past week he had been ignoring my messages only replying with one or two words and claimed it was because he wasn't well and a few days after I had given him space he said he was better but was still not his previous talkative self and today as I was going to give him a good morning message, it came up and said his profile no longer existed. Just like that, no warning no reason why.
I don't understand why this keeps happening to me. It's not like I'm looking for a guy to complete me. I don't have pretty fantasies about how wonderful marriage is 100% of the time. I know every couple has things they have to work through and arguments and struggles. I know this well because of my sister's own 11 year marriage that has had it's many ups and downs and led to many counseling sessions to strengthen their marriage. I know marriage doesn't magically solve all of life's problems. I do believe however it would be more enjoyable with a partner. When I say I use online dating sites I'm not talking every day or even every week usage. I joined one site over two years ago and at first I used it about twice a week and after not much luck I never checked it unless it said someone messaged me to my email. A month ago was the first time I had used it in such a long time and it was then that I noticed this guy had a lot in common and seemed genuine so I initiated conversation and now look where it got me. I am content in my life, but I do have the desire for marriage and a trusted source has repeatedly said that God doesn't just make someone appear in your life ready for you to be in relationship with, He gives you situations and opportunities to mingle and socialize and avenues such as the internet to help. Of course we should seek God first in everything we do and my relationship with Him is very strong and I would never put a man above God I just want to find someone who wants to seek after Him by my side. I'm tired of hearing I'm too young to worry about any of this and that I should live my life and enjoy all my freedom while I can but if you enter a Christ-centered relationship there should be no freedom lost it's not jail. You now have someone to go on adventures with whether they be big or small ones. There is nothing I want to do in my life that cannot be done with a partner. I'm young but I know I wasn't created for single hood.
It's really sad that at the age of 19 I became one of very few single girls in my wide range of friends and my family and since then as my range broadened I still remained the odd one out even among those younger than me and I just don't get it. I'm starting to wonder if it's my personality, and probably my appearance which shouldn't matter to a Christ follower. I never feel as if I come on too strong or try to talk about marriage and all that too soon with guys I try to keep it simple and just get to know them. No one understands why this hurts me they think I'm over-dramatic or that it's stupid to be upset about this stuff and I'm just not trusting God enough or my faith isn't enough and if I did this or that I'd have someone by now or that my standards are too high.
I meet nice guys at church and by all standards we're compatible. We become friends first and talk about the possibility of more. Then out of the blue weeks or months down the road he just tells me that he doesn't want to be more than my friend and I see him enter a relationship with someone else soon after. Or he says he's not ready to settle down with the prospect of marriage yet, and then once again they end up with another girl.
I use online dating sites to find compatible matches. I meet many with the same values and beliefs and only a few reply to my messages. I build up nice conversation with them and they act interested in me and one of two things happen. They either once again say they only see me as a friend or they sever the communications by blocking me or not replying to me, and then today. I had been talking to this really amazing guy for about a month and we really clicked and he always said he believed God brought us together and how well we clicked and this past week he had been ignoring my messages only replying with one or two words and claimed it was because he wasn't well and a few days after I had given him space he said he was better but was still not his previous talkative self and today as I was going to give him a good morning message, it came up and said his profile no longer existed. Just like that, no warning no reason why.
I don't understand why this keeps happening to me. It's not like I'm looking for a guy to complete me. I don't have pretty fantasies about how wonderful marriage is 100% of the time. I know every couple has things they have to work through and arguments and struggles. I know this well because of my sister's own 11 year marriage that has had it's many ups and downs and led to many counseling sessions to strengthen their marriage. I know marriage doesn't magically solve all of life's problems. I do believe however it would be more enjoyable with a partner. When I say I use online dating sites I'm not talking every day or even every week usage. I joined one site over two years ago and at first I used it about twice a week and after not much luck I never checked it unless it said someone messaged me to my email. A month ago was the first time I had used it in such a long time and it was then that I noticed this guy had a lot in common and seemed genuine so I initiated conversation and now look where it got me. I am content in my life, but I do have the desire for marriage and a trusted source has repeatedly said that God doesn't just make someone appear in your life ready for you to be in relationship with, He gives you situations and opportunities to mingle and socialize and avenues such as the internet to help. Of course we should seek God first in everything we do and my relationship with Him is very strong and I would never put a man above God I just want to find someone who wants to seek after Him by my side. I'm tired of hearing I'm too young to worry about any of this and that I should live my life and enjoy all my freedom while I can but if you enter a Christ-centered relationship there should be no freedom lost it's not jail. You now have someone to go on adventures with whether they be big or small ones. There is nothing I want to do in my life that cannot be done with a partner. I'm young but I know I wasn't created for single hood.
It's really sad that at the age of 19 I became one of very few single girls in my wide range of friends and my family and since then as my range broadened I still remained the odd one out even among those younger than me and I just don't get it. I'm starting to wonder if it's my personality, and probably my appearance which shouldn't matter to a Christ follower. I never feel as if I come on too strong or try to talk about marriage and all that too soon with guys I try to keep it simple and just get to know them. No one understands why this hurts me they think I'm over-dramatic or that it's stupid to be upset about this stuff and I'm just not trusting God enough or my faith isn't enough and if I did this or that I'd have someone by now or that my standards are too high.
