Trust.....deal or no deal.

[Messy]

Maybe this is a root problem of Atheists the inability to even believe there is a God? As there is no trust or belief that He exists?

No that's got nothing to do with trust. I just had to see evidence of His existance. I trusted Him immediately.
I trust most people, but if God says watch out I do.
Some things are just using your brain. For me to date someone God would first have to tell me He wants it and that I will get no disagreements whatsoever. Just don't want that anymore. I think it's wiser to wait til the kids have grown up but by then I might enjoy being single too well. I'm enjoying my freedom and drama free life.

 

[DuchessAimee]

The biggest problem is people get hurt and then behave as if people have ruined them. No one ruined you. You choose how to feel, how to heal, what to do, how to handle your life. If you want to love, that's your choice. If you want to wall yourself, that's your choice to.

Do not for one moment blame ANYONE for your state of emotional affairs. Yes, people do things to us, and yes, they can hurt. But whether or not we continue to let them hurt is up to us.


To stay in a certain situation or emotional state is called learned helplessness. With God and a genuine heart, any healing and movement away from a broken heart is possible. However, people like pain, we like staying there. It doesn't require much work, we get to complain, push people away, and we get to control everything. People don't change unless they have to, unless the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.


Welcome to the world of sin.

 

[JesusLives]

The biggest problem is people get hurt and then behave as if people have ruined them. No one ruined you. You choose how to feel, how to heal, what to do, how to handle your life. If you want to love, that's your choice. If you want to wall yourself, that's your choice to.

Do not for one moment blame ANYONE for your state of emotional affairs. Yes, people do things to us, and yes, they can hurt. But whether or not we continue to let them hurt is up to us.


To stay in a certain situation or emotional state is called learned helplessness. With God and a genuine heart, any healing and movement away from a broken heart is possible. However, people like pain, we like staying there. It doesn't require much work, we get to complain, push people away, and we get to control everything. People don't change unless they have to, unless the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.


Welcome to the world of sin.

I did the walled up part and one day I looked at my life and realized most of it was gone and why? So I took a chance let the wall come down and I haven't been sorry that I did as I have a wonderful husband to share life with now even if I am closer to the end of it.... I'd still consider myself to be in the Fall part not quite Winter....getting closer though.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

The biggest problem is people get hurt and then behave as if people have ruined them.

"Hurt people hurt people," as the adage goes.

No one ruined you. You choose how to feel, how to heal, what to do, how to handle your life. If you want to love, that's your choice. If you want to wall yourself, that's your choice to.

Do not for one moment blame ANYONE for your state of emotional affairs. Yes, people do things to us, and yes, they can hurt. But whether or not we continue to let them hurt is up to us.

Although I do mostly agree, the subconscious is a shady and powerful thing. I have a couple of distant friends undergoing therapy, one of whom was just told that they likely developed one of their confessed behaviors as a defense mechanism. Sometimes it's less an issue of lacking emotional maturity and/or willpower than it is one of lacking perspective.

However, people like pain, we like staying there. It doesn't require much work, we get to complain, push people away, and we get to control everything. People don't change unless they have to, unless the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.

True, and agree again. Lots of victim complexes out there.

 

[LiJo]

In my opinion new relationships should be a clean slate of sort, it's not like anybody can know everything about a person when first meeting them. Surely can't use past issues to measure a new relationship, in my view it's not healthy to hold on too things in our past that have hurt us, yea I know some can be real hard to get past but still it doesn't matter that hurt needs to be overcome can't live a healthy loving life while holding on too past hurts that doesn't compute.

It's unfair to punish the person for what someone else did in your past relationship.

 

[zeroturbulence]

My kids are all home this summer and we were talking for hours about dating, praying and actively waiting for that special someone.
My oldest daughter said.... Pfft. Can you even believe what a guy says? They just say what they think girls want to hear.
My son pipes up and said.....whoa? Wait a sec... Girls do the exact same thing.
As I listen to these young adults talk about trying to sift through the issues of relationships ...why is trust so hard these days??

Thoughts??

Because morals and old fashioned values are getting rarer and rarer these days.