Are you really ready for marriage?

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May 26, 2016
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#41
Hormones with pink glasses? Hmm.
And i'm not saying it Can't work. My point was that so often people point to that as evidence of how much better it is, but they ignore the cultural attitudes towards marriage as well.
Yes, I'm afraid they're not all that happy clappy, but the idea of asking your parents or someone else with common sense can be smart. One guy from India from another forum really got married like that. He let his parents pick someone. He didn't think she was beautiful or attractive, but she was really nice. Wonder how it works out.
 
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Jak795

Guest
#42
It's a pretty big thing to consider and not something to take lightly.
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
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#43
I'm not gonna lie the reply back to me had me scratching my head lol. Thanks for watching out for me Zeroturbulence !
 
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LiJo

Guest
#45
Oh wow! The M word!!!! :eek:
 
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missy2014

Guest
#46
It's a pretty big thing to consider and not something to take lightly.
I really would emphasise this its serious and you must be prepared by God for this it takes time (marriage)
 
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missy2014

Guest
#47
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AP6cc2aBecE

I recommend Paul Washers video on dating courtship and marriage im nt sure if this was the sermon
I heard but it was a great realistic sermon God changed my life through it
frankly it moved me from a 'dreamy state' to growing up and I thank God for this man and how the Lord used this to transform more into the image of his Son Jesus a bit more

one of his main points is a girl nor a boy should marry rather by God's Spirit preparing over time a girl growing into a real woman and a boy into a man anything short of that you cannot marry that person you cannot hold that person in your arms and say im ready for marriage if you don't want to bear the responsibility and weight

the Hebrew or greek of the word Honor partly means to bear weight- something to that effect anyway.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#48
So a successful marriage is one where, even if the people hate each other, they stay married? I don't see success in two people forced into a situation neither are happy in. And that perhaps neither Wanted to be in to begin with. I would find that a failure on the part of the culture that forced people into marriage that didn't want it. That's more like disgruntled roommates who have to live together because neither can afford to move than a successful marriage.
Yep. Not an ideal one obviously but Marriage is a very serious vow. It doesn't come with any guarantees of being happy. Might as well just change the whole "for better or for worse" to "until one of us isn't happy with it anymore".

Happiness is the ideal obviously but in reality, that doesn't happen a lot of the time. That is true whether it is arranged or chosen.
 
May 26, 2016
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#49
Yep. Not an ideal one obviously but Marriage is a very serious vow. It doesn't come with any guarantees of being happy. Might as well just change the whole "for better or for worse" to "until one of us isn't happy with it anymore".

Happiness is the ideal obviously but in reality, that doesn't happen a lot of the time. That is true whether it is arranged or chosen.
Okay, but hating is just as much sin as divorcing, so eventually, unless an unbelieving spouse leaves, the marriage becomes happy if you love and don't hate.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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#50
" Hey I love you and you love me. How about let's get married and see how long we can put up with each other?"
 
May 26, 2016
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#51
" Hey I love you and you love me. How about let's get married and see how long we can put up with each other?"
Let's see if we can set a new record.
My dad said to the kids: all my life I'm with her. I want something new too for a change.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#52
Okay, but hating is just as much sin as divorcing, so eventually, unless an unbelieving spouse leaves, the marriage becomes happy if you love and don't hate.
You can love the other person and still not be happy. I agree about hatred being sinful though. Jesus specifically says adultery is the only valid reason to leave, all the other problems are due to hard heartedness.
 

Jimbone

Senior Member
Aug 22, 2014
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#53
I have considered a lot about marriage, all to often I see people go into marriage all lovey dovey they thing to each other how great life is going to be they don't consider at all the hard times that will come and how they will cope with it. They say the vows but i wonder how many truly consider the vows they say? divorce is so common these days people get married they enjoy the honey moon phase but when life and times get hard the marriage crumbles.

People expect to go into marriage with no fights no struggles never seeing the darkest side of the other and so when all this happens it falls to pieces. I have never been married but I learned what marriage is and how to be a good husband by seeing what not to do Stephanie is the only person I have ever considered marrying I often times imagine a life together with her and even having a family and when and if we get married both my adopted moms psychomom now known as notmyown and Jesus lives better be there or they are grounded:b But if I make those vows I am going to keep them I will stay with her through the good and the bad times and when things are at their worst and if we get into a heated war with each other you bet your buns tjhat our love will prevail.

Our bond may bend but it won't break firstly because God is and will be the foundation of our love second because marriage is far to sacred in my eyes to treat it anything less than what it is. Love true love will go through the harshest storms and come out even if only barely if you love someone enough there are no limits you won't go for them there is no hell you won't put up with, so if anyone plans on getting married consider all this
I agree 100% man. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, nor did I even try to live trying to do "the right thing" for the vast majority of my life, but one thing God did bless me with is honesty. I have been with the same woman since high school, as a matter of fact I have now been with her for longer than I was not with her. Together at 17 and I'm now 36. Man I am so thankful for her, but I remember being with her for 8-9 years and not being married yet. We lived together and everything else we shouldn't have been doing then, even our first son was born before we were married, but I wanted to make sure that when I stood before God & everyone we knew, and vowed to stay with her threw think and thin forever, that I meant it.

I'm not sure why that particular thing was so important to me, heck it wasn't like I was a very moral person at the time, but it was just something God put in my heart even then, and I praise His name for it. I felt that was very important even then and wish more people were more serious about it these days, because while it is very hard work and not "easy" by any stretch of the imagination, man was it/is it worth it SO much.
 
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May 25, 2016
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#54
Within the next two or three I would be ready for marriage, so right now would be a great time to meet that person and start building a relationship.

As a person who doesn't believe in divorce, I take marriage extremely seriously. My mother and father were never together after I was born, therefore I grew up in broken home all life. I'm not going to continue that cycle.
 
May 26, 2016
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#55
I don't think I'm ready for a remarriage. With 2 it's easy, but with kids, no, that's asking for trouble.
 
May 25, 2016
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#56
I don't think I'm ready for a remarriage. With 2 it's easy, but with kids, no, that's asking for trouble.
Its definitely not easy with two, but kids do make it more difficult.
 
May 26, 2016
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#57
Its definitely not easy with two, but kids do make it more difficult.
I just did what he said. Then you don't have problems and fights. But if you get kids and you have to do everything alone and suddenly must take the lead, but just as he wants it, impossible. A stepdad with a new set of rules with kids who are used that I listen to them, for me that is impossible. I still listen to my ex. Then you have 2 bosses wanting to go a different direction. No thanks.
 

Shawn2516

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2013
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#58
As a married man, I don't find marriage hard at all. If anything, I find it quite easy! I am loving life and my wife. Infact, I don't think marriage was meant to be hard, your getting to spend the rest of your life with someone you love.

I think when people talk about the struggles with marriage.. they are really talking about struggles with married with children. Suddenly your responsibility levels shoot up to levels that you just have to deal with, which add stress to the relationship. Children pretty much are burdens.. financially, emotionally, time-wise... lovable burdens, but burdens non-the-less and as the saying goes, "I can't live without my kids".

But marriage? I find marriage easy.. if you don't, I think perhaps you and your spouse don't mesh very well. That's just my opinion.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#59
Hmm........ seems to me, if everybody waited until they were ready for marriage, very few people would get married.
There are two major reasons that some choose to remain single. The fear of rejection and the fear of commitment.
 
May 26, 2016
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#60
As a married man, I don't find marriage hard at all. If anything, I find it quite easy! I am loving life and my wife. Infact, I don't think marriage was meant to be hard, your getting to spend the rest of your life with someone you love.

I think when people talk about the struggles with marriage.. they are really talking about struggles with married with children. Suddenly your responsibility levels shoot up to levels that you just have to deal with, which add stress to the relationship. Children pretty much are burdens.. financially, emotionally, time-wise... lovable burdens, but burdens non-the-less and as the saying goes, "I can't live without my kids".

But marriage? I find marriage easy.. if you don't, I think perhaps you and your spouse don't mesh very well. That's just my opinion.
They're not burdens, but you both must really love it to take care of them. Lots of happy marriages with kids, because they both like it and have the same ideas about raising them.